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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653210">Aviator's Second Chance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/OxfordPictionary/pseuds/OxfordPictionary'>OxfordPictionary</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Airplane Crashes, Alien Planet, Disabled Character, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Robotics</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 23:01:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>150,561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/OxfordPictionary/pseuds/OxfordPictionary</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>During an emergency medical evacuation, star pilot, Captain Evelyn O'Neill gets shot down in a Blackhawk, and the price of coming back alive costs an arm, literally. With limited options, aside from honourable discharge, her father pulls some strings to get her on an off world mission in the Pegasus Galaxy. While she would be millions of lightyears away, and fighting unknown enemies, in a war that's not hers, this might just be the only chance she's got at a normal life.</p><p>This fic was my Nanowrimo goal this year, apologies for obvious mistakes I missed in the flurry</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jennifer Keller/Rodney McKay, John Sheppard/Original Female Character(s), Teyla Emmagan/Kanaan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>One Year Ago...</b>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apache, Blackhawk, Cobra, Osprey,” I answered. I kept my eyes on the landscape surrounding us as I held the yoke, keeping us headed direct for the base. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a lot of training for the antarctic,” General O’Neill said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was the one continent I’d never set foot on,” I told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s one of my least favourite continents,” he replied. The corner of my mouth turned upwards in a lopsided smile. I turned and leaned over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kind of like it here,” I admitted. He turned to me, affronted I could even say such a thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like it here?” he asked in disbelief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” I said. “Be there in about ten minutes, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a brief silence as I turned and headed for the base we were closing in on. I didn’t mind flying around the general. He was silent when the occasion called for it, never filled the chopper with unnecessary hot air and when there was idle chatter, he was easy to talk to. And it was quiet, save for the whirring of the blades above us and the gentle hum of the engine. Until of course we received a transmission over the radio.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“All inbound craft, we have a rogue drone that could seek a target on it’s own, land immediately and shutdown your engines. This is not a drill, I repeat, this is not..”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I spotted the drone coming straight for us up ahead. “It’s too late, hang on,” I said. Reflexes kicking in, I applied evasive maneuvers. Flying in a zig zag trying to throw off the drone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Break right,” said O’Neill. I moved the chopper left, not intentionally ignoring his orders. “I said, right!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m getting to that, sir,” I said. I moved us right and took her down closer to the ground, hoping to land this thing while still avoiding the drone. “I can’t see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pull up, pull up,” O’Neill ordered. I kept heading down as I searched for the drone. I heard it behind us. “What about now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now’s good,” I confirmed, pulling us back up with the yoke. Hoping I’d successfully crashed the drone into the snow, I was free to land the chopper and cool the engine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut it down,” O’Neill said and I started turning things off overhead. Once we were good I inwardly sighed. Turning to him, I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir, what the hell was that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait for it,” he told me. Hearing a crash in the snow and then seeing the drone head right for us I unclipped my seatbelt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get out!” I cried, throwing open the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I dove face first into the snow, hearing O’Neill stumbling out after me on the other side. I heard the drone soaring through the air at breakneck speed and then slow to a bouncing stop on the snow, sliding forward, just shy of the chopper on O’Neill’s side. I took a moment to breathe before getting up and walking back over to the chopper, covered in fresh powder. I climbed back in beside the General, looking out onto the horizon, expecting more of them to follow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was different,” I commented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For me,” he replied. “Not so much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna radio control back,” I said after a moment of gathering my bearings. Jack nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thankfully, we made it the remaining 7 minutes of flight time without incident. Bringing her down safely at the landing site, I exited the powered down chopper with the General and headed inside the arctic base. We took the long elevator down into the ice and once we reached the end of the line people were hustling and bustling around right outside the cage. One crew member in particular was making a beeline straight for us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jack,” the man greeted the General greeted fondly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Daniel,” he responded. “Warm welcome.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t me,” Daniel immediately replied. “How’d you manage to..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep my ass from getting blown out of the sky?” he asked, pausing in his steps to turn back. “The exceptional flying of Major John Sheppard. He likes it here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You like it here?” Daniel turned to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s say we cut to the part where you start walking, real fast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Weir’s in here,” Daniel replied and headed forward faster. Meanwhile I was looking around at everything that was happening around me, a few steps behind them. The General turned back to me again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t touch anything.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir,” I replied and went back to looking around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I headed out of the way from the main traffic areas for a quieter area of the base, following what looked interesting. In the distance I could hear a Scottish accent talking about some power he’d never had before. Chuckling internally to myself, I wondered if he’d been the one to fire the drone at us, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘nah’</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well they were lucky, I just tried to concentrate and the drone shut itself down,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Never mind,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>I thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you were the one.” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me?” he replied, sounding nervous. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one who fired that thing at me,” I said, marching closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, we’re doing research. Working with technology that’s lightyears beyond us, and we make mistakes. I’m incredibly, incredibly sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, next time, just be a little more careful, okay?” I replied, accepting his apology. He seemed to genuinely mean it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I said,” he confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell was that thing anyway?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean the drone?” he asked me. I nodded. “The weapon the Ancients built to defend this outpost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The who?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do have security clearance to be here?” he asked, looking worried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, General O’Neill just gave it to me,” I brushed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, then you don’t even know about the Stargate,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The what?” I asked, looking at him like he was talking nonsense. Which he was. He sighed and moved over to the chair, starting to fill me in on everything. The gates, the chair, the drone thing that tried to kill us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We think the gene was used as a sort of genetic key, is you will, so that only their kind could operate certain dangerous or powerful technologies.” Beckett, as he’d introduced himself as, finished explaining. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So some people have the same genes as these Ancients?” I asked. Walking around the chair, to get a better look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The specific gene is very rare,” he explained. “But on the whole, they look very much like we do. In fact they were first. We’re the second evolution of this form. The Ancients having explored this Galaxy for millions of years... Major please don’t.” He said as I moved to sit in the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, what are the odds of me having the same genes?” I asked, sitting down anyway. Immediately as I sat down, the chair reclined like a lazyboy and the ground started to glow around me. There was a slight hum as the chair powered up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Quite slim, actually,” Beckett said, looking shocked. “Dr. Weir! Don’t move.” He told me, running away. Moments later a group of people, including General O’Neill came running over to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who is this?” asked a woman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said don’t touch anything,” O’Neill said, not sounding particularly surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I just sat down.” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Major,” a different guy started talking. “Think about where we are in the solar system.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I concentrated on that and the floor glowed brighter and an image of the solar system appeared above us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did I do that?” I asked, staring up at it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A while later, a few more tasks given to me by the man in orange, and I was up and out of the chair. The group of people went off to have discussions on their own but the woman in red, Dr. Weir as she’d introduced herself, asked me to come on some expedition with them. I politely turned her down and decided to wait out the rest of the General’s visit above ground. The General eventually made his way back to me and we got into the chopper, but the silence had gone from easy, to the exact opposite. I was uncomfortable, so I threw myself into my work.  Completing the safety checks and start up procedures with more caution and concentration than they really required. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn’t a long trip, so I’ll be as succinct as possible.” O’Neill said. He then stared at me for a moment, waiting for me to respond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s pretty succinct,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told Dr. Weir that I’d think about it,” I told him realising that I wasn’t going to get out of this conversation that easily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And?” he asked, putting on his space age sunglasses. “So? Well? What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shrugged. “With all due respect, sir, we were just attacked by an alien missile. Then I found out I have some mutant gene. Then there’s this stargate thing and these expeditions to other galaxies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, this isn’t about you, Sheppard,” O’Neill told me. “It’s a lot bigger than that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right now, at this very second, whether I decide to go on this mission or not seems to be about me,” I answered, putting on my helmet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me ask you something,” the General said. He pulled on his earmuffs and mic. “Why’d you become a pilot?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think people who don’t want to fly are crazy,” I told him honestly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I think people who don’t want to go through the stargate are equally as whacked. Now if you can’t give me a yes by the time we reach McMurdo, I don’t even want you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was the last of the conversation I got from the General before we reached the next stop and I bounced what he said around in my head. I thought about the first time I was ever in a plane, able to take stick and fly. What it felt like, the queezyness first going away as I was in control, the force, the speed the Gs. And from that moment, I knew I’d made all the right calls, that walking away from my dad and brother, it was worth it, it was all right. I loved flying. And if O’Neill loved walking through this supposed stargate that much, then maybe he was right. It’s not exactly like I had much tying me here anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I radioed McMurdo control, letting them know who we were and that we were coming in. I landed us and started shutting down the chopper. Nodding to myself, I knew I’d made the right call. I turned to him before either of us got out of the chopper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“General?” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Atta boy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His excitement didn’t last long however, as a marine ran right over to the door and opened it for him. He looked winded but incredibly concerned, worried even. I wondered if it was another one of those alien missiles we’d just dealt with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir,” the marine said. “We just got a call in, it’s pretty urgent. It’s your daughter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about her?” O’Neill asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t aware you had a daughter, sir,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I try to keep my private life and work life separate. She spent a lot of her childhood with her mother, as I was always off on ops,” he explained. “Now, what kind of trouble has she gotten herself into this time?” He was smiling, he didn’t seem all that concerned compared to the marine in front of him. In fact, he seemed even proud, like whatever mischief she was causing made him happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s just it sir, it’s big trouble,” the marine said. “You’d better come inside, her CO is on the line waiting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he nodded, getting himself out of the chopper and heading into McMurdo. I wondered just what kind of trouble it was she’d gotten herself into, and what trouble she usually got herself into. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Present Day...</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So it’s Lieutenant Colonel now, I hear,” I said as I headed into the command room Sheppard had commandeered to conduct his interviews in. He was sitting in a desk chair around a conference table, looking pained as he read over reports and files.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hard to believe it myself, General,” he replied. He put down one of the files he was reading and gave me his full attention. “What can I do for you? Are you planning on telling me there’s something more outrageous than Stargates, mutant genes and expeditions to other galaxies?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I chuckled. “This is a matter of more... normalcy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s good,” he replied. I approached his chair further, hoping that he’d do as asked, no question. I didn’t often pull rank, not seriously, but I was hoping I wouldn’t have to. Not really he’d just offer me this one as a favour.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s not too much, I’d like you to take a look at another file for potential candidates,” I told him. Holding out the manila folder, he took it instantly. “Pay no attention to the, uh record, I can give you my personal assurance this candidate won’t give you any trouble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sheppard opened the folder and skim read the file, he paused at the very top, moving his hand to hover over the photo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn O’Neill.” he said. “This isn’t the daughter of yours, who liked to get herself into trouble, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is,” I confirmed. “I wouldn’t worry, it’s harmless trouble. The only real trouble she gets herself into is saving lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t call saving lives trouble,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you wouldn’t. But as you probably well know, saving people from trouble, usually lands you in it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That it does,” he smiled with a nod. “So what? You want her off-world so she won’t get into so much trouble with her COs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be a comfort to me, yes, but it’s another reason I’d like you to take her back to Atlantis with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That call I got, in McMurdo, her Blackhawk got shot down while she was assisting in a theatre evac,” I explained, throat tightening just a little. “She was off duty at the time, and she wouldn’t have even been in that seat if her lieutenant hadn’t been the one needing an airlift. Ironically, he’s fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And she’s not?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Feeling my bones begin to ache and the muscles begin to numb, blending into the plastic chair I was sitting in beside her bed, I realised being promoted was probably a good thing. I was getting too old. And despite my age, she still tried to beat me to the grave. Parents shouldn’t outlive their children, it isn’t natural. And I’d already done it once.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The constant beeping and whirring of the machines around us did nothing to ease my discomfort as I watched on with tired eyes. I refused to take my eyes off her for even a second, no matter how much sleep threatened to take me. No matter what happened, I would be here with her. I would hear every breath, see every muscle twitch and every rise and fall of her chest. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was glad I had been able to have her transported to SGC, pulling rank to a place where we had the technology that could aid in her recovery. Where it </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>would</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>. This was much better. She’d been stabilized at the nearest military base, flown with the other injured to American soil and then once she’d had her surgery she was brought here. I’d have preferred it if she’d been brought straight here from being stabilized, but, being a General isn’t everything, there’s still protocol even I can’t fight. I wondered if we’d’ve been able to do better. We could have fixed her better, faster. More. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I watched the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, glad she was off the vent now and was using a nasal cannula to supply oxygen. Her breathing was steady, that was good. I just wished she’d wake up. I knew it would take time, but how much, I didn’t know. I was so deep in thought I almost missed the slight fluttering of her eyelids. The wince and following grimace as she was hit with the harsh fluorescence of the lights. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hang on a minute sweetheart,” I told her and got up to dim the lights. Her brow furrowed as she heard me talking for a moment but then she seemed to relax. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dad,” she croaked. “What are…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“In a minute,” I told her and pressed the call button for a nurse. I walked back over to her, standing at her side instead of sitting. I reached down to wipe some of the dirty blonde hair she’d gotten from her mother, off her face, her forehead sweaty from the fever she’d been fighting before she woke up. Her head was cooler now at least, meaning that she’d beaten the infection.“You gave me quite the scare.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry,” she said, chocolate brown eyes shining with fresh tears, threatening to fall. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She looked up at me properly, now the lights were dimmed and she could focus. You’d think I’d be used to seeing my own eyes staring back at me, but no, I could never get used to seeing her in so much pain. Not when they looked this sad. All I wanted was to take her pain away. My sweat girl. She took my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m so, so sorry.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s alright, sweetheart,” I soothed and smoothed her hair away from her face again, it never did sit where it was supposed to. She looked like she was on the verge of letting loose fresh tears and that’s when I realised, I was too. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s not,” she shook her head. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This wasn’t your fault, pumpkin,” I told her. “These things happen sometimes.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But after Charlie,” she said and my heart clenched unbearably tight. Of course she was thinking about that right now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Another accident,” I told her. “You can’t control everything, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you want to. You said that to me, remember? So get better, do as your quacks say and try not to scare me like this ever again.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She nodded, blinking tears away when the nurse, and a doctor I didn’t recognise came in. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I said, regaining myself. “She’s not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sleepless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I frowned as I lay in the dark staring up at the ceiling in the faint glow of the Daedalus. No matter what trick for sleep in my arsonal I used, I just couldn’t do it. I sighed as I pushed back the covers and sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the cramped bunk. I reached to the side to pull my trousers back on and then my shirt. Looks like it was going to be another long night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I headed to the mess, knowing I’d probably find a friend there, between Elizabeth who never sleeps and McKay who never stops eating, it was virtually guaranteed. When I got there I stopped to pour myself a coffee, my entrance having stirred Elizabeth from her thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what are you doing up so late?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Couldn’t sleep,” I answered honestly, walking over to her. “Must be the uh burden of command. You know us, since they promoted me to Lieutenant Colonel and all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright John, it’s been almost a month. When are you going to stop trying to try and find a way to bring that up in every single conversation?” she replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You gotta understand, there’s a lot of people in the Air Force that never thought I’d make it past Captain,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, obviously the people whose opinions matter the most thought otherwise,” she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you,” I asked. “What are you still doing up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I got used to falling asleep to the sound of the ocean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well McKay says we’re already at the edge of the Pegasus Galaxy. You’ll be fine once we get back to Atlantis.” I tried to reassure. “You know, it’s funny. I spent the past year wondering if I’d ever see Earth again and as soon as I got there…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know how you feel,” Elizabeth replied. “God it was extremely convenient to be able to step through the gate and be at Stargate Command in an instant. And now this feels extremely inconvenient. Having to spend 18 days cooped up in this ship to get back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, until we find another ZPM to power the Earth gate that’s just the way it’s gonna have to be... And what about you, Evelyn, what are you doing up at this late hour?” I asked, noticing another person in the room up at the coffee station. She looked up at me and a smile beamed across her heart shaped face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh me? I never sleep,” she said, approaching the table with her cup. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m curious, Evelyn, you have a PHD, what made you go into the Air Force?” Elizabeth asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I actually got my PHD through the Air Force,” she explained, rocking back on her heels. “In high school I was really interested in robotics, that TV show, Robot Wars started in my last year and I’d already been fascinated with them, any kind of machine before that. Then I joined the Air Force, wanting to be just like my dad. He was disappointed I didn’t want to go to college, so he kept leaving study program leaflets where he knew I’d find them. It wasn’t until I found the one on the robotics program that I decided to let him win this one. It was just a hobby, that’s all it’s ever been, flying is my passion, but, it would be pretty sweet if the Air Force sanctioned my hobby instead of confiscating anything I built like what used to happen in high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see, so it looks like I won’t be able to persuade you to work in the labs with Dr. McKay and Zelenka,” Elizabeth said. “If you’re heart’s still set on flying.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>O’Neill Jr. looked down at the arm she still had pinned to her chest in a sling. She frowned for a moment before looking up at Elizabeth in confusion. Confused blonde brows furrowed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Weir, are you saying you’d still allow...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see it as a problem, you have the gene, you’re still cleared to be on active duty,” she told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Weir, Colonel Sheppard, there’s been an accident,” said a guy who ran over, and cut her off, just as I imagined, the General’s Mini Me was going to say something personal. I watched the concern fall over her face. It just figured that we couldn’t have a full journey home without running into a single snag. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth and I got up, I gestured to O’Neill to follow along and she put down her cup. The three of us hurried from the mess, jogging after the man who’d been sent to find us. As we approached, we saw Dr. Beckett examining a body on the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s Dr. Monroe. What happened?” Elizabeth asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Beckett replied. “But he’s dead.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Elizabeth and I exchanged a look. Mini O’Neill was hanging back behind us, peeking out from beside the door frame. The look on her face said she was also wise enough to know this couldn’t be good. One of Beckett’s team brought in a body bag and the two go to work on putting him in and zipping him up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right. One, two, three.” They hoisted him up onto a gourney. “Alright, carry on.” Beckett instructed, and then the man who’d helped him, and another member of his team wheeled the body away. That was when Colonel Caldwell decided to make his appearance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d he die?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not 100% certain, but there are burn marks on his fingertips,” Beckett supplied. He nodded to the med staff beside us, releasing them so he could enter and I could deliver my analysis. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Obviously here there was a short,” I pointed to the panel on the wall. “Panels are open, circuits are charred.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s not enough juice in those circuits to kill anyone. Doctor?” Caldwell said and I saw Mini O’Neill jerk her head up from what she was looking at before she realised he was talking to Beckett. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll know more once I’ve had a chance to examine the body more thoroughly,” Beckett answered. Caldwell nodded for him to leave as well and then took stock of who was left in the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what he was working on?” Elizabeth asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Computer diagnostics. Strictly routine.” McKay replied. O’Neill went back to circling the room, looking like she was thinking hard on something, what I didn’t know. “I’ve got security camera footage.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, what are you still doing here?” Caldwell pointed to O’Neill, and she looked up slowly, completely unphased by his questioning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought her with,” I explained. “I thought she could help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?!” McKay raised his voice. “Can someone please explain why you think a one armed fighter pilot can be of assistance here?” I winced. Even Caldwell looked like he didn’t approve of McKay’s outburst.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney!” Elizabeth was quick to scold, although Evelyn didn’t even look affronted in the slightest about his comment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr. McKay, I have a PHD in Robotics, and though the Air Force encourages my tinkering in the medical side of my field, I can work anywhere on virtually any machine. I’m Dr. or Captain O’Neill, whichever you prefer. I’ll help you in any way I can,” Evelyn replied diplomatically. Caldwell raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Neill?” he asked, and she rounded on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>Captain</span>
  </em>
  <span> was the part you should be interested in,” she replied and both Elizabeth and I smiled. I knew there was a reason I brought her along. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well, Captain, join us in watching what Dr. McKay has to show us,” Caldwell resigned and we all walked over to the screen Rodney had been gesturing to. We had our theories but I was interested to know what happened to Dr. Monroe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The recording started with Monroe pottering about his desk, typing at various consoles before the camera suddenly went black. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened there?” Elizabeth asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, it’s a camera malfunction,” McKay replied, trying to get the footage back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right before he was killed? Interesting coincidence.” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, I think it makes sense.” McKay replied. “Look, Colonel Caldwell was right. There’s not enough juice in those circuits to kill someone. At least not normally.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you thinking?” Elizabeth asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s possible there was some sort of isolated power surge in this section, that would explain the lost camera, the malfunctioning door,” McKay explained. “What about you, PHD, what do you think?” Evelyn smirked slightly and nodded affirmative. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So when the door controls didn’t respond he took out the panel to bypass the circuits and received a fatal jolt?” Caldwell asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I said it’s possible. Look, I recommend we drop out of hyperspace, run a full diagnostic on the power distribution systems,” McKay explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. We drop out now we risk being detected.” Caldwell responded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true I just think that..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be back in Atlantis in less than two days. You can do your diagnostic then. Sheppard’s little assistant can even help you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colonel, are you sure that’s wise?” Elizabeth asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With all due respect, Doctor, you got back to Earth through the Stargate. This is my third trip on the Daedalus between galaxies,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand that. But this ship is relatively new. There might be some problems...” Elizabeth said and was cut off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor, a word, please?” Caldwell led her out of the room and O’Neill Jr. went back to wandering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you two play nice,” I said, watching Jr. smirk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was being nice,” McKay said indignantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hate to catch you on a bad day,” Evelyn countered. “Where does power enter this room from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, why, do you fancy yourself an electrician too?” Rodney asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what, Dr. McKay, I think you’re right, perhaps there isn’t anything I can do to help here,” she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, you’re giving up that easily?” he turned to face her. She shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep. You’re on your own,” she nodded. I raised a brow at her and she just smiled softly in return. I gestured to her to come over and we walked away from the centre console. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have every right to be here,” I told her in a hushed tone. “You don’t need to lie down just because McKay thinks he’s smarter than everyone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I don’t. But I also don’t have to put up with his outbursts,” she explained. “Look, I’m not giving up. I’m just going to go downstairs and look at the systems from there, see if I can find anything useful. If I do, I’ll just radio them over to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” I shrugged. “I just figured you’d want the chance to get to know each other, so you can work together in the labs in your free time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, I’ll work in the water with my right arm tied behind my back if it means I don’t have to work with McKay. You won’t find us in the same lab unless it’s life or death,” she said and I sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know I can hear you,” McKay called over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps you should take note then,” Evelyn replied. She gestured with her thumb to the door and I nodded. She turned on her heel and walked out the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not that great at making friends, are you?” I asked. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Threat Detected</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Captain O’Neill, what are you doing down here?” I heard and looked up to see Major Lorne smiling fondly at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What am I doing down here, or what am I doing down here at this hour, sir?” I replied smiling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The latter, and off the clock, Evan or Lorne is fine,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ditto,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Lorne, what brings you down here at this hour?” he asked and I rolled my eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You hear about the accident?” I asked and he nodded. “Sheppard thought I could be of some assistance, but I’m finding Dr. McKay a little </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying</span>
  </em>
  <span>, so I thought I’d check things out down here and radio back to him. I suppose I could ask you the same, though, Lorne, what are you doing down here so late?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? I’m sweeping the decks to make sure there haven’t been any other accidents,” he replied. “Sheppard asked if I would and I thought it would be best if I did it by myself to avoid any mass panic of patrolling marines.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, if it really was just an accident you don’t want people freaking out when there’s nowhere to go,” I nodded. It made sense. “I’ll be sure to let you know if I spot anything odd on my travels.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean if it really was an accident?” Lorne asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I gathered in the incident room, it’s all set up to look exactly like an accident but it’s almost too perfect. Something didn’t sit right. Maybe I’m being paranoid, this being my first space voyage, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if your gut says something isn’t right, something usually isn’t right. Follow your instincts is my advice,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” I nodded. “I will.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dismissed me and I made my way further down to where I thought Hermiod would be at this particular time of night, his work station, and went to discuss what I thought was wrong. On my way I felt the ship lurch a bit. Not being able to throw my left arm out to save myself, like I normally would, I fell forward with a squeak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“O’Neill?” Lorne yelled from round the corner as I stumbled. I heard footsteps rushing behind me as I was falling forward and just as I was about to face plant into the ground someone grabbed the back of my jacket and yanked me back up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” he asked and I nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still haven’t quite gotten used to this,” I said, waving my arm around in it’s sling. “It was my dominant hand so when I stumble I instinctually go to throw it out in front of me and then, it’s not there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he nodded. “That’s gotta be tough. How long have you got to wear that sling for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t get it off,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As in you’re supposed to wear it at all times or..?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” I nodded sheepishly. “I only need to use it to keep it out of the way, I can take it off whenever I want, or should be able to, I just can’t undo it by myself because the medical staff keep tying it too tight.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lorne started laughing softly and reached around the back of my neck to untie the knot in the bandages. I felt my stump get some slack and I shook out of the rest of the sling. He folded the bandage up for me again and I slid my arm into my jacket properly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There, how’s that?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better, thanks,” I smiled. “I have a feeling I’m going to need both arms today.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, now we’re out of hyperspace there must be something wrong,” he agreed. “You want me to come with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m pretty sure now that if we’ve dropped from hyperspace that McKay found what I did, someone’s doing this deliberately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, lead the way,” he said and I headed straight for Hermiod in the systems operation room. Once there, he gave me a nod and headed to report his findings of the sweep to Sheppard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t long before McKay was down in the same room, ordering everyone about. Hermiod seemed grateful I’d explained to him what I thought was going on before McKay had gotten there, because as usual, his explanations and orders were rather brash. How did I manage to get stuck with the most ill-tempered scientist in SGC? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I may be so bold, what exactly are we looking for?” Hermiod asked as McKay came over. I kept to myself in my spot on the floor, tablet balanced on my knees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any indication that someone’s been tampering with the ship’s computers,” McKay said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps you could be more specific.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really, no,” McKay replied. Hermiod sighed and muttered something in Asgard and I chuckled. “What was that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Hermiod replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, just check the major systems. Propulsion, navigation, life support, look for anything out of the ordinary, Lindstrom and I will check the power distribution to see if we can figure out what caused the power spike.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s it coming Rodney?” Sheppard asked as he marched into the room. I was beginning to wish I’d stayed in my room working on my own thing so I would be none the wiser to all of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to take a while,” McKay said grumpily. I looked up in the silence that followed to see Sheppard giving Hermiod the eye. I didn’t know why Asgard people were so hard for everyone to look at for the first time, they look exactly like all the aliens described in all those redneck probing stories. They were the first normal thing I’d seen since getting clearance for all of this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t stare. He hates it when people stare.” McKay said quietly just to Sheppard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I the only one who thinks it’s strange we’re working with an alien?” Sheppard whispered and I laughed silently beside him on the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, galactic hyperdrive technology is kind of new to us, so we need his help.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is he supposed to be naked like that?” Sheppard asked and I just about lost it. I was so glad Hermiod couldn’t see me from where I was or it would not be helping the situation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lindstrom,” McKay called and left the room. Sheppard finally noticed me on the floor and knelt in front of me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you coping, now you’re working together?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He gave me the ass end of the ship to go through. He basically gave me access to the systems he didn’t think I could break and banished me here. Is he always wound so tight?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Sheppard nodded. “You get used to it.” I made a face and he chuckled. He stood up again. “Look, I know he’s a pain but for this to work, you’re going to need to be the bigger man, he’s not going to. Just keep working on what he gives you and we’ll get through this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I nodded and watched as he turned his head to give Hermiod the side eye again. I smiled to myself as I watched him have what looked like a stare off before he left. Flicking through the C302s systems I opened up their code. Frowning at some series of binary I didn’t recognise I got up off the floor and ran to Hermiod. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember when you asked McKay to be more specific?” I asked. He blinked at me. “Well you’ll want to have a look at this. Scan the systems Rodney gave you for this sting of coding or anything similar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at the tablet I was holding and then went back to work. I hung out beside him then, trying to figure out what any of this meant. I could read binary, but this was just gibberish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think you are right, O’Neill, the coding is slightly different in every system I find it in but the fact remains the same, it’s incomprehensible and it does not belong. We should inform Dr. McKay at once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you know what it is?” I asked, he blinked at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” he answered after a few moments. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as he said it the doors opened and no one but the Devil himself walked through them. I raised an eyebrow at the grey man and he blinked at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr. McKay, you are just in time,” Hermiod said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what? What are you two looking at?” he asked coming over, at least he was acknowledging my presence now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The sabotage we’ve been searching for,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a virus,” McKay concluded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How perceptive of you,” Hermiod sassed and I smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did you find it?” McKay replied. This particular string of code on the screen was rapidly changing, that too seemed off to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One of the navigational computers. There is evidence of it in communications and some of the propulsion systems as well,” Hermiod reported. I opened my mouth to tell him about what I’d found in the ships but I was shushed almost immediately after taking a breath. I suppose what I had found wasn’t as bad, my code wasn’t evolving or changing like any of the others we’d found. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So it’s spreading,” McKay concluded and Hermiod nodded once in affirmation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and changing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” McKay asked </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It appears to be rewriting itself as it grows. It is unlike any human-engineered program I have ever encountered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” McKay said as he realised something. He ran over to the computer. “Airperson, don’t be there.” At least he wasn’t talking to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Hermiod asked as he turned to watch McKay. He typed away at the computer for a moment and then I watched the screen Hermiod had just been looking at change before my eyes. The reason it had all looked like gibberish to me was because it essentially was. This was another language. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just checking something, I’m sure it’s impossible.” he said. It kind of looked like Ancient but then, something was off.  A different dialect? Maybe a native to this galaxy? “Crap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?” Hermiod asked, tilting his head as if McKay had broken something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just ran it through a translation program. It’s Wraith,” McKay explained. Hermiod turned to look at the screen I’d been staring at all this time and then looked back at McKay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crap, indeed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he pointed to me. “You, with me, we’re going upstairs.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Nigerian Prince Scam</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>“A Wraith computer virus?” Dr. Weir said as we all stared up at the screens around us. I had to stop myself from chuckling as I thought up the concept of a Wraith Nigerian Prince Scam. </p><p>“It was probably downloaded during our last little encounter,” McKay explained. </p><p>“You think during all that they uploaded a virus?” Sheppard asked, I shook my head. </p><p>“Not necessarily. It could have come back on anything you had with you, technologically speaking for course. It’s probably something they developed to prevent escaping ships from actually escaping. If you brought a tablet with you, anything compatible with our systems. A ship even,” I shrugged. McKay looked surprised at my explanation but nodded, agreeing I was correct. </p><p>“Well if it’s been there all this time, why are we just noticing it now?” Caldwell asked. </p><p>“Well, in all likelihood it was transmitted in a compressed format. It took a while to unfold, to spread to the point where it could adversely affect our systems. I think it probably happened during your return flight to Earth. Since then, it’s been dormant, waiting for some kind of trigger.” McKay explained. I nodded along, bouncing his hypothesis around in my head. </p><p>“Like what?” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“Possibly the fact that we’re once again in proximity to Wraith Territory. Like, O’Neill said, it’s probably intended to stop the infected from ever actually being able to escape,” he said and I had to stop me from raising my brows in shock at his approval of something I’d said. “It might not be to kill the ship but rather if they were to get away, the Wraith would conduct their own repairs and as soon as the ship got close again then they’d attack a defenseless ship.”</p><p>“Well that’s a chilling thought,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“I think it was ultimately designed to take control of the navigational system. Fly the ship right to them.” McKay said and suddenly Sheppard’s semi-sarcastic response had me repeating it more seriously. That is a chilling thought. </p><p>“If they get their hands on the Daedalus,” Weir said. “They’ll not only have access to the intergalactic hyperdrive technology, but they’ll have all the navigational data that’ll lead them straight to Earth.”</p><p>“That’s what they wanted all along, a new feeding ground,” McKay said, sounding annoyed. Annoyed like this was somehow our fault. </p><p>“This still doesn’t explain who killed Dr. Monroe and Dr. Lindstrom.” Caldwell said. </p><p>“Well, that’s that I’m trying to tell you,” McKay said. “It was the virus.”</p><p>“I know we should have gotten the ship Norton,” I joked, receiving an odd smile from Sheppard and a glare from McKay. Caldwell still didn’t seem to be getting it though.</p><p>“Look, it’s an AI, artificial intelligence. It can think for itself, adapt itself to new situations..” McKay explained.</p><p>“Protect itself,” Sheppard suggested and McKay nodded. </p><p>“Exactly. It knew that Lindstrom and Monroe were going to expose it, so it got rid of them,” McKay explained and I was suddenly very happy I’d made my suggestions only to Lorne and Hermiod and that McKay had kept shushing me and dismissing me every time I spoke.</p><p>“Can it take over the whole ship?” Dr. Weir asked. I shook my head. </p><p>“Not entirely,” McKay explained. “You have to remember that there are hundreds of individual computers onboard. A lot of them are interconnected so we tend to think of them as one big machine, but that’s not really the case. There are dozens of back-ups and redundancies and some systems like life support that are deliberately isolated.”</p><p>“So they can’t kill us all by venting the atmosphere.” Sheppard said and I nodded beside him. </p><p>“That was the good news,” McKay said. “The bad news is some of the more complex systems like navigation and propulsion require a certain amount of interconnectivity to function properly. In all likelihood, the virus has spread so far those systems that to isolate it, would make the ship impossible to fly.”</p><p>“So that means the way you’d normally get rid of a Trojan, finding the corrupted files, ripping them and performing repairs or activating backups isn’t currently possible because we can’t find all of it, and it’s rewriting itself and reproducing itself. Any attempts at deleting it would be futile because as fast as we can remove it, it comes back.” I explained. </p><p>“Exactly, until we figure out how to get rid of it, we’re stuck here.” Mckay said. There was suddenly a beeping noise over the bridge. </p><p>“Colonel Caldwell? Sir, we just began broadcasting a distress call.” One of the bridge crew called. I sighed. I hoped my time in Atlantis wasn’t always this heavy. </p><p>“What are you talking about?” Caldwell asked. </p><p>“It just came on by itself, sir.” </p><p>“Shut it down,” Caldwell ordered, walking over to the consol. He pressed some buttons and flicked some switches but eventually shook his head. </p><p>“I’m locked out, sir.”</p><p>“It’s the virus,” McKay said. “This is what I mean by “adapting itself to new situations” It doesn’t have enough control yet to fly us to the Wraith, so instead it’s calling the Wraith to us. And right now, we are sitting ducks.”</p><p>I bit my lip. I was out of my depth. I’d never had any of my robots or aircraft stage a mutiny on me. Our ship trying to kill us any means necessary had me on edge. Was this what I could expect from life on Atlantis? Perhaps I should have just taken the honorable discharge. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Sheppard asked as McKay was typing away. </p><p>“Well, theoretically we should be able to cut power to the long-range transmitter. We won’t be able to send messages, but neither will the virus.”</p><p>“Theoretically?” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“Well, it’s pretty smart. So far everything we’ve tried it’s been one step ahead of us. Alright, try it now,” McKay said. The crewman who’d been working on the transmitter pressed the buttons again and the beeping continued. I’m guessing that was a no. </p><p>“It’s no good sir, we’re still broadcasting,” he said. </p><p>“Alright, that leaves us one choice,” McKay said, turning around. “We need to do a full system shutdown. We’ll wipe everything, reboot, load clean backups.”</p><p>“Will that really work?” Dr. Weir asked. </p><p>“Absolutely. I think,” McKay replied and I snorted. </p><p>“It should, Dr. Weir,” I said. “This is how we’d treat a trojan on a personal computer if someone downloaded something from the internet or uploaded it from a USB. We didn’t want to do it that way originally because we didn’t think we could, given that we’d have to shut down the whole ship and the individual systems were too corrupted to do isolated shutdowns. I mean, before we didn’t even want to drop out of hyperspace.” </p><p>“How long will it take,” Caldwell asked. </p><p>“Well, it’s not like the ship’s got an on/off button. We’ll need some time to prepare, say an hour, maybe two.” McKay said. </p><p>“Every minute we wait we increase our chances of being detected. We need to turn off the transmitter array now.” Sheppard said. </p><p>“Do you have an idea?” Caldwell asked.</p><p>“As a matter of fact, I do. But you’re not going to like it.” he replied. He stared at Caldwell for a moment while he thought it over. He nodded, finally agreeing. </p><p>“Get yourself to the C302 bay yesterday,” Caldwell replied. </p><p>“Already done,” he agreed. “O’Neill, you’re with me.”</p><p>Not questioning his orders I followed him out of the room as he marched. However I did wonder what use he thought I’d be along the way. </p><p>McKay POV</p><p>“Was that wise?” Caldwell asked. I frowned as I watched Sheppard march out of the room and Captain O’Neill scurry after him like a puppy.</p><p>“He’s not seriously thinking of taking her out there, is he?” I asked. Sheppard may have found himself a new pet after Lieutenant Ford’s disappearance, but I couldn’t believe he was putting her in danger like this. </p><p>“She hasn’t been out since her plane went down. Colonel Sheppard discussed with me taking her out in non-combat situations to get her used to the territory before she has to do anything serious,” Elizabeth explained, not making me feel any better. </p><p>“Do you really think it’s such a good idea to have her up there with only one arm?” Caldwell asked. At least I wasn’t the only one thinking it. </p><p>“She’s got two arms,” Elizabeth replied. </p><p>“Just only one hand,” I crossed my arms over my chest. </p><p>“It doesn’t matter in Atlantis, she’s got the gene to fly the jumpers which is mostly psychic connection to fly, and she’d have a copilot to push any buttons she can’t reach. And she had the robotic arm the air force gave her to test out and modify that she can wear in technologically advanced off world situations,” Weir defended. </p><p>“Oh yeah, and how many of those do we see?” I asked, rolling my eyes. It seemed to me like the Air Force had just dumped her out here now that she was of no use to them anymore. It seemed incredibly sick that they’d let an amputee cavalier around Wraith territory when we already knew just how dangerous they could be.</p><p>“She joined this expedition to get her life back and I intend to give her every opportunity to do so. I’m not going to send her somewhere where she is incapable of succeeding, I’m just not treating her like her life’s already over,” Weir explained. </p><p>I supposed I hadn’t really thought about how it would feel to have your livelihood taken away from you with no chance at getting it back. Most pilots who left the Air Force went on to fly planes elsewear but she couldn’t. If I were to decide to stop working on Atlantis, I could go private, I could work at universities, there were options for me. I couldn’t imagine being told I could never be a scientist again. </p><p>“Fine, it’s not like she can get into much trouble with Sheppard out there with her anyway,” Caldwell resigned. </p><p>“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I sighed. Things in the Pegasis tended to go a little awry.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Hard Reset</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>“Alright, you first,” Shappard said as I stood beside the C302. </p><p>“You what?” I spun on my heel to stare at him, jaw dropped. “Me, in there?”</p><p>“Yes you in there,” he rolled his eyes. “Come on, O’Neill, we don’t have time for this.”</p><p>I nodded, scrambling up the steps and throwing myself into the back. I strapped myself in while he climbed the stairs and worked on getting himself into the seat. I pulled my helmet on and strapped across the oxygen mask. Readying myself in my seat, I’m glad Major Lorne had untied my sling for me. </p><p>“You ready?” Sheppard asked and I nodded, momentarily forgetting he couldn’t see me. </p><p>“Absolutely,” I said. </p><p>He radioed to the bay team to get them to lower the shield and let us out into outer space. Yep. Outer space. I was in outer space. I had flight controls of a fighter jet in outer space. We zoomed out of the bay at lightning fast speed and I was reminded about what I loved about flying. The feeling of the Gs pulling you back in your seat. I missed it. I hadn’t been in the air in a year. I supposed I wasn’t in the air, more space, but it was the same thing. </p><p>“Oh my god,” I whispered to myself  as I looked around us at the stars. Space was amazing. I heard light chuckling. </p><p>“It’s pretty cool isn’t it?” Sheppard said as we turned and rounded on the ship. </p><p><em>“All right, Colonel, we’ve evacuated all sections in the vicinity of the array</em> <em>and sealed the bulkheads,” </em>Caldwell said over the radio. I was enjoying myself so much that I almost forgot why we were out here. </p><p>“Understood,” Sheppard replied. We flew towards the transmitters and Sheppard started firing immediately with godlike precision. Seconds later, the dish exploded. Funny, nerds always had me believing there were no explosions in space. But there was one right before my very eyes. </p><p><em> “Well done, Colonel. Return to the ship,” </em>Caldwell said after a few minutes of us flying over the ship. </p><p>“With pleasure,” he said. Sheppard moved to turn us back round towards the 302 bay but we didn’t budge. I frowned. This was odd. “O’Neill, you wanna take stick for a moment?” I flicked the controls over to myself, tried to turn us but to no avail. </p><p>“Shit.” I said. </p><p>“Oh, here’s a problem,” he said into the radio. “Our controls aren’t responding.”</p><p>
  <em> “Say again?” </em>
</p><p>“Well, the Daedalus is behind me, I can’t seem to turn around and I am, however, picking up speed.”</p><p>“Shit,” I said again. I rummaged into my pocket, trying to reach my screwdriver and unbuckled my belt. “We’re going to get close, Sheppard, forgive me.” </p><p>I forced myself through the gap between our seats and the roof, leaning down over him and his lap and reaching for the memory unit beside his leg. </p><p>“What are you doing?” he asked as I struggled to get some wires free. </p><p>“Explanations later,” I said and tried to shuffle forward more. I yanked the unit free and hoped that would do it. It was the C302 version of a hard reset. Unfortunately by doing this we’d lose nav. I was hoping that the virus was just hanging out in the memory unit and operating from there otherwise I was just vandalising military property. </p><p>
  <em> “John, this is Elizabeth. Rodney seems to think the virus has taken over your ship so we’re gonna try to beam you out.” </em>
</p><p>“Acknowledged.” he said, as I teetered over his lap. </p><p><em> “Stand by,” </em>  she told us. </p><p>“You keep working on whatever it is you're doing,” he told me. “If what they’re doing doesn’t work, we’ll need a plan b.” </p><p>“You mind if I shuffle forward a little more?” I asked. </p><p>“Sure,” he scooted over in his seat so I could push myself forward without landing face first in his crotch and I got to work. </p><p>
  <em> “John, we’ve run into a slight snag. Rodney just has to make a few adjustments before we can get you out of there.” </em>
</p><p>“Okay…” John said, sounding puzzled. I scrambled trying to work faster as I hung over his shoulder. If that meant what I think it meant then we’d just destroyed the thing that kept the ship able to beam us in and out and McKay was trying to figure out another way to do it. </p><p><em> “Don’t worry, we’re not about to give up on you two just yet,” </em> she said. I tried connecting back the wires I’d ripped out when I’d been trying to access the memory unit blind. <em> “John are you still there?” </em></p><p>“Go ahead.”</p><p>
  <em> “We’re going to use your radio to target the transport beam. We’ll have you out of there in just a minute.” </em>
</p><p>“Sounds good, so we’re still in range, right?” he asked. </p><p><em> “Rodney seems to think you’ll be okay,” </em> she replied. </p><p>“Well, that’s good, wouldn’t want to leave any parts behind,” he replied. I snorted. </p><p><em> “He says he’s going to need to do it one at a time,” </em>she said. </p><p>“Do Sheppard first,” I said. “I’m doing something back here.”</p><p><em> “What?!” </em> I heard McKay’s voice. <em> “What could you possibly be doing in there that requires extra time?”  </em></p><p>“I’m trying to regain control of the ship,” I replied. A second or two later I fell completely forward into the chair as Sheppard ceased to be there. “Ow.”</p><p>I turned the engine off in the jet and we lurched to a halt. I was thrown about in the seat, legs over the stick as I stared up at the clear roof. I’d done a complete forward roll in the stop. </p><p><em> “Why aren’t you moving anymore?” </em>McKay demanded. </p><p>“I killed the engine,” I replied back. </p><p>
  <em> “What? Why? How?”  </em>
</p><p>“I’ll explain later,” I replied. “I gotta see if this works. At least you don’t have to worry about me leaving range now though.”</p><p>Taking a deep breath I scooted back and sat up, taking the main seat. I hooked up oxygen to my helmet again and reached forward for the controls. I started her up and we hovered, not moving forward at an immediate lurch. Taking stick I tried to turn round, not doing anything particularly aerobatic, I turned slowly and gently. I wasn’t sure I’d manage to regain control one handed and I couldn’t risk fucking up now I was on my own back here. </p><p>“Guys,” I said. “I’m back in control.” </p><p><em> “That’s good news, Captain,” </em> Caldwell said. <em> “Return to ship.” </em></p><p>I let out a sigh of relief as I could still see the Daedalus so I didn't have to worry about getting lost without the nav. Flying one handed was easier than I thought it would be, my stump was able to handle a lot and most of the buttons I needed were on the right hand side anyway. </p><p>John POV</p><p>One moment, Evelyn was leaning over my lap, the next I came to in the bridge with Caldwell, Elizabeth and Rodney staring at me. </p><p>“Are you all right?” Elizabeth asked. </p><p>“Yeah,” I said. “Two arms, 10 fingers. I’ll check the rest later.”</p><p>“She’s not moving,” McKay said, looking up at the display tracking surrounding ships. </p><p>“What?” I asked. </p><p>“Why aren’t you moving anymore?” he demanded.</p><p><em> “I killed the engine,” </em>she said over the radio.</p><p>“What? Why? How?” McKay said.</p><p><em> “I’ll explain later,” </em> she replied. “ <em> I gotta see if this works. At least you don’t have to worry about me leaving range now though.” </em></p><p>“You think she did it?” Caldwell turned to McKay. </p><p>“I don’t even know what she did,” McKay replied. </p><p>“First thing she did when we lost control was unbuckle and then climb over my shoulder to start pulling apart things from underneath the controls. I don’t really know what she did either, but it's looking good if she was able to kill the engine.”</p><p>“Depends on how she killed it,” McKay replied. “For all we know she could be sitting trapped on the edge of our range in a dead jet.”</p><p>“But she’s still in range?” I confirmed, annoyed they’d listened to her and taken me first. I didn’t take her out there only to lose her in space. </p><p>“To be honest I didn’t know if you were in range when we beamed you,” he said. </p><p>“Great,” I sighed. </p><p><em> “Guys, I’m back in control.” </em>I breathed a sigh of relief when her voice came over the radio. I didn’t know what she’d done, but I was glad she’d managed to do it. </p><p>“That’s good news, Captain. Return to ship.” Caldwell said. He then turned around to Rodney.  “All right Doctor, I’ve had enough of this. I’d like to have my ship back, please.”</p><p>“Right,” McKay said, sounding pleased. </p><p>Elizabeth, McKay and I headed down to the engine room to initiate the shut down. It felt good knowing this would all be over soon. Then I might actually be able to sleep. I could use it after all this. </p><p>“Move,” McKay said as he moved around the console. He moved over to where I was standing and then he kicked me out too. </p><p>“This is what I do when I have problems with my laptop, I turn it off and I turn it on again,” I said. </p><p>“I think this is a little bit more complicated than that,” Elizabeth said. </p><p>“I’m just saying that if we’re taking a page from the John Sheppard book of computer repair, we’re really desperate,” I said. </p><p>“Alright Colonel, we’re ready.” McKay said. </p><p><em> “Thank you,” </em> he said. <em> “We’re just waiting on word that Captain O’Neill landed safely in the 302 bay and we’re ready.” </em></p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I skidded a little in the landing, making it to the same spot Sheppard and I had taken our jet from but I was sitting too far forward. Oh well, I sighed to myself. Someone else could back her up. Someone with two hands. </p><p>“Colonel Caldwell,” I radioed. “I’ve landed in the bay, you can go ahead and close those doors now.”</p><p><em> “Very well, Captain,” </em> he said and the bay doors shut. “All personnel, this is Colonel Caldwell. Prepare for a full-system shutdown.”</p><p>Everything went dead around me as I sat in the cockpit of the 302. I waited quietly as I listened to the whirring of the ship around me. A few moments later the lights returned and I sighed in relief. Unbuckling from my chair, I reached for the opener to the hatch and jumped out of the jet. Hoping nobody noticed the bad parking job, I wheeled the ladder over to it and then went on my way back up to the ship, memory unit in hand.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Venting Atmosphere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I headed for the engine room where McKay had likely initiated the shutdown from and walked in, happy it was all over and we could finally get some sleep. I’d been up for several days at this point and I knew if anyone found out how long I’d been pushing it, I’d probably be in trouble. I walked in and spotted McKay, Dr. Weir and Sheppard all in there. I grinned. </p><p>“I see that it worked!” I said and then looked around. Everyone looked grim and panicked. “It didn’t work?” </p><p>“No, it didn’t work, it should have!” McKay. “Why didn’t it work? You, what exactly did you do to regain control of the C302.”</p><p>“I pulled the memory unit. We lost the nav but we got everything else back. I was hoping it was operating from within there and when I pulled it there wasn’t any residual effects from the virus when I restarted it,” I explained. “I wasn’t sure it would work but we didn’t lose the C302 or me.”</p><p>“Wait a minute,” McKay said, clicking his fingers at me. “You’re onto something. There was a similar situation to this back at Stargate Command. I remember reading the report. An alien entity took control of the base computer. So they did a system shutdown to destroy it. It survived by uploading itself to a MALP.”</p><p>“Okay, we don’t have any MALPs.” Dr. Weir said. </p><p>“No,” McKay agreed, and then turned to me with a smile. “But we’ve got a bay full of F-302s. We already know that the virus can upload itself onto the ship’s navigational computers. But it could’ve used any one of those ships as a hiding place while we wiped the Daedalus system clean. It’s the only possible explanation.”</p><p>“So?” Weir asked. </p><p>“So, we physically pull the memory-storage modules from the 302s, like O’Neill did, we do another shutdown, that should do the trick.”</p><p>“Contact the bridge, tell Caldwell we’re on our way to the bay now,” Sheppard ordered Weir. He patted my shoulder as he and Rodney made their way out of the room, I took that as my cue to follow them back down. We hurriedly made our way down only to be stopped by a door closing by itself. Sheppard frowned. </p><p>“We’ll find another way,” he said. We walked to the next set of doors that also closed. </p><p>“It’s not working,” McKay said as he pressed the emergency release button. “It must know what we’re trying to do.”</p><p>“How is that possible?” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“It’s thinking ahead, anticipating our moves, like in a chess match.” McKay explained. </p><p>“Well, I hope you’re good at chess,” Sheppard replied. </p><p>“I don’t get to play much, it’s uh, tough to find a challenging opponent,” McKay replied and I rolled my eyes. </p><p>“Bridge, this is Sheppard.” he radioed in. “Are there any open paths to the 302 bay?”</p><p>
  <em> “That’s a negative Colonel, it looks like the entire section’s been sealed off. We tried to override it, but we’re not having any luck.” </em>
</p><p>“Great.” I said.</p><p>“You’re going to have to beam us in.” Sheppard announced. </p><p>“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.” McKay said. “The transport beam wasn’t designed to beam from one point to another inside the ship. We could end up re-materialising half inside a wall.”</p><p>“Well, we’re just gonna have to take that chance.” Sheppard shrugged. </p><p>“Right, of course. Why not?” McKay replied. I smiled softly. I watched as Rodney brought his arms in, trying to make himself as small as possible. He squatted low as well. I rolled my eyes again. </p><p>“Colonel, we’re ready.” Sheppard said. </p><p>
  <em> “Stand by, Hermiod says we need to make a few adjustments first.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Activating transport beam now.” </em>
</p><p>We rematerialised inside the 302 bay and I immediately ran to the nearest jet. </p><p>“It worked,” I heard McKay say from behind me. I started climbing up the ladder. I heard the alarm start and I swore. I was not having a good day. “Oh boy.”</p><p>I reached down into the cockpit and yanked out the cables connecting the unit, pulled it and threw it over my shoulder. It bounced as it hit the seat and I hurried down the ladder and started moving towards the next one. I might die, but I needed to help the rest of the ship as much as I could before I did. The door opened up and instinctively I took a deep breath, knowing it wouldn’t help me much but being unable to stop myself in the panic. </p><p>“We should really, really be dead right now.” I heard McKay say. I let out the breath I was holding. He was right. </p><p>“I don’t feel dead.” Shappard replied. </p><p><em> “Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay, Dr. O’Neill, can you hear me?” </em> Hermiod’s voice came over the radio. </p><p>“Yeah, we’re reading you,” Sheppard replied and I made my way up the second ladder. </p><p>
  <em> “I have raised the fighter-bay shield in order to prevent the atmosphere from escaping. However, the virus has invaded the system and it is only a matter of time before it gains control. Therefore, I suggest you complete your task as quickly as possible.” </em>
</p><p>Sheppard started running and I went back to pulling wires, dumping the unit on the seat before hurrying down and moving on to the next one. I saw McKay and Sheppard run to the opposite row I was doing and working on separate jets. We should have enough time, with all 3 of us. We went to work, all hands to the pump, sweat dripping down the back of my neck. Why couldn’t these things be parked closer together? </p><p>
  <em> “Colonel Sheppard, how’s it coming?” </em>
</p><p>“We’re getting there,” Sheppard replied with a torch in his mouth. Why hadn't I thought of that, I was doing this by touch.</p><p>I ran up to a jet on the other side of the bay, having completed all on my side. I threw myself up the ladder and yanked the thing out. Sliding down it again I ran over to one. I saw McKay running towards it too, I didn’t know which one of us would make it first so I kept running. I couldn’t slow down, not when I didn't know if either of us would make it. McKay scaled the ladder and stopped. </p><p>“Good, that’s the last one,” McKay said. Sheppard must have already been up there. I smiled and climbed up the ladder beside Rodney, motioning to give him a high 5. He slapped my hand and held on for a second before letting it go with a large exhale. We’d done it.</p><p>I looked up, the shield was flickering. Sheppard popped up from under the dash. I pointed to the wavering shield. </p><p>“McKay!” Sheppard yelled whilst grabbing me by the collar. “Into the chair!”</p><p>I was yanked forward and landed hard on his thigh, causing him to groan slightly as he flicked the control to shut the lid. I turned to the side and swung my legs over his thighs as I looked back to see if McKay had made it inside. I sighed in relief. I rested my right arm on Sheppard’s shoulder, to keep it from going anyplace, or touching anything, I didn’t mean to. </p><p><em> “Colonel Sheppard, come in.” </em> I heard Caldwell over the radio. Sheppard and McKay were still panting, struggling to get air. <em> “Colonel Sheppard, do you read me? Colonel Sheppard, do you read?” </em></p><p>“This is Sheppard. We’re all okay,” he said and I exhaled, sitting less rigidly than before. “We managed to get into the last F-302 before we lost atmosphere. Any chance you could beam us out?” </p><p><em> “Sorry John, we lost the transport beam, you’re gonna have to sit still for a while.” </em>Dr. Weir replied.</p><p>“We pulled all the memory units, another shut down should work,” McKay said. </p><p><em> “Understood,” </em>said Weir.</p><p><em> “Engine room, this is Bridge, we don’t have a lot of time before we reach lethal radiation levels.” </em>Caldwell said.</p><p><em> “Most of the shutdown protocols are still in place from our first attempt. This will only take a few minutes.” </em>Hermiod said. </p><p><em> “Well, let’s hope we have a few minutes,” </em>Caldwell said.</p><p>“This just keeps going from bad to worse,” I said, breathing heavily. “Please tell me this isn’t normal running for Atlantis.” Sheppard chuckled. </p><p>“Sorry.” He smiled and I frowned. </p><p>“You know, I’ve never actually been inside of one of these before today.” McKay said. “It’s a little, uh, cramped, huh?”</p><p>“Are you hyperventilating?” I asked, looking over Sheppard’s shoulder to see him.</p><p>“Just relax Rodney. We’re safe, for the moment.” Sheppard said, not saying the last part with much enthusiasm. </p><p>“Right,” McKay nodded. “Quick question, though, just out of curiosity. How much uh, like, air do these things carry?” I watched Sheppard bounce his head around before answering, looking somewhat uncomfortable with a freaking out McKay. Or maybe he was uncomfortable having his subordinate sitting on his lap. </p><p>“Lots,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“Okay, because if this doesn’t work and we have to come up with another plan, who knows how long we could get stuck in here and, so, it would..”</p><p>“You know what, Rodney? You’re exactly right, it’s a limited supply. So why don’t we conserve it by you not talking. At all.” </p><p>In the silence, I looked up at the roof. I frowned slightly. “You know, there shouldn’t be enough room for this,” I said. </p><p>“Eh, you’re pretty short,” he said, with a shrug. </p><p>“I did wonder why it wasn’t McKay on your lap,” I joked. I smirked at the expression McKay shot me and then looked to Sheppard who looked just as disgusted. </p><p>“Let’s not think about that disturbing thought,” Sheppard replied. “You know what, you’re banned from talking as well.”</p><p>I started laughing. Men were so easy to mess with. McKay shook his head. In his annoyance, he certainly looked less panicked, that was good. </p><p>“So, I never got around to asking,” I said staring at McKay. “What were you doing up when all of this started. Shouldn’t you have been in bed?”</p><p>“I was working. I never sleep on a good idea,” he replied. </p><p>“Shouldn’t you be sleeping all the time then?” I countered and he glared at me.</p><p>“Hey!” he started and Sheppard pulled me further away from McKay. </p><p>“Don’t you start anything,” he said. “Not when the two of you were just starting to get along.”</p><p>“Oh please,” McKay said. “I still don’t think she should have been in half the situations she was today.”</p><p>“Actually I believe you said you didn’t know how much of a help I could be,” I replied. “And from what it looks like to me, I’ve been a pretty big help.” </p><p>“Fine,” he said. “Your 302 idea was pretty good. And you being able to dumb down my explinations to everyone was pretty useful.”</p><p>“See, was that so hard?” I said. “Thanks McKay, you were pretty good too.”</p><p>
  <em> “All hands, this is Caldwell, we’re going to give this another shot. We’re initiating total system shutdown now.” </em>
</p><p>Everything went dark immediately and I shifted uncomfortably. I felt a hand softly on my side. I smiled, I hadn’t had superior officers as kind as Sheppard and Lorne before. This could be a not bad experience after all. Sheppard and McKay turned on their torches and I felt a little less uncomfortable. The lights came back on again a few moments later. </p><p><em> “Sheppard, come in,” </em> Caldwell said. <em> “You’ve done it.” </em></p><p>I sighed and leaned forward, resting my head on my arm. We’d done it. We’re alive, the virus is gone and we’re going to make it to base. </p><p>“That sounds pretty good to me, sir,” Sheppard replied. “So how’s about we get some atmosphere back in here?”</p><p>
  <em> “I think we can do that no problem, Colonel, just give us a moment.” </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Cliff Diving</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Evelyn, welcome to Atlantis,” Sheppard said as soon as we landed in the gate room. I smiled as I looked up and around all of the structure. I spotted him smiling at me as I looked around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Weir, Beckett, McKay and Sheppard met up then, heading for the control room as I still turned, looking at everything again. I was expecting some tents on some alien plant. This was a nice base. I hung out until the rest of my possessions were beamed down. I slid the strap of my duffle over my head and rested it on my shoulder before sliding on my back pack. I reached down to grab my toolkit and slung that over my shoulder too. I reached down to grab my equipment case and finally the case carrying my hands. I realised I was starting to look like a pack mule as I made my way to my assigned quarters. I swiped the door open and then stumbled inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I dropped all my bags, deciding on unpacking later. Instead, I headed straight for the ready made up bed and flopped right down on top of it face first. Moving my head to the side so I could breath, I drifted off instantly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could hear the crackling of my radio and I frowned. Lifting my head up, I looked up at the alarm clock on my nightstand. 0400. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“O’Neill come in.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay, this had better be good,” I groaned. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Trust me, you’re going to want to come down for this, head to my lab,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he said and I pushed myself up off the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Considering I’d fallen asleep in the uniform I’d arrived in, I was able to get up and head straight for the lab. It took me ten minutes to get there using the transporter and I rounded the corner to hear him berating Zelenka. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I groaned as I rounded the corner. “Who died?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Finally, you’re here,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you want to show me? You’ve got 10 minutes or I’m going back to bed,” I said. McKay walked right over to a far corner of the room where there was an upturned bucket with a brick on it. I raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We found this little guy scuttling around, I thought you’d find him as interesting as we do,” he explained I grew increasingly nervous as to what was under that bucket. I reached for my side arm. He lifted the brick and the bucket started moving slowly across the floor. I could hear the tapping of tiny footsteps and a slightly mechanical whirring. I was about to ask questions when McKay lifted the bucket and revealed what looked like a three legged security camera with wings. I raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is that?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were hoping you could tell us,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded, walking over slightly to get a closer look. Seeing it make no movement now it was out of the bucket, I knelt down on the ground in front of it. It seemed to be aware of my presence, staying still. I leaned in closer, to observe it, maybe pick it up. It inched forward slightly, to the amazement of McKay and Zelenka who were watching from a few feet away. I moved to scoop it up with my hand and it let out a screeching noise and launched itself towards me. I let out a scream and swatted it away with my stump, throwing myself back and reaching for my side arm. I flicked off the safety and shot it once. It fell over a few feet away, now off balance since I’d knocked off one of it’s legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard running in the corridor outside and I looked over from my spot lying on the floor. Colonel Sheppard was standing in the doorway first looking concerned and then looking annoyed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?” he demanded, eyeing me holding the gun out to a small, black bug like robot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It attacked me,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” he asked and I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what we were trying to find out when Rambo here decided to shoot it,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In all fairness, it did attack her,” Zelenka said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And she could have just put the bucket back over the top of it,” he said. “No need to turn it into an amputee.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well maybe now we’ll have something in common to talk about,” I replied, rolling my eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put the safety back on my handgun and strapped it to my thigh again. I pushed myself up off the floor and walked over to the thing. Putting the bucket back over the top of it and the brick, I went back to Sheppard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing down here anyway?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looking for you,” he said. I raised a brow. “I need you to come off world with me.”’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? But we need her to help us with the robot,” McKay whined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think we should let it cool off for a while before we open that bucket again,” I said. “I’m not itching for another encounter with face-hugger over there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It won’t take long,” he said. “We’re only going to M1K-439. It’s a planet with a lot of waterfalls. We sent some marine biologists to research and analyze some microbial species found in the water. They’re staying overnight but they missed their check in. We assume they just fell asleep but we still have to make sure everything’s alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fair enough,” I nodded. “Every second counts if they didn’t fall asleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” he nodded. “We’re treating it as low threat so it’s just going to be me and you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded and then followed him out of the room. We went down to the locker room and got ourselves equipped. I slid on a vest and Sheppard helped my clip my P90 to it. Once it was there I had no issues carrying and using it, it was just clipping it to the vest that needed more than just the stump and my fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you finding it?” he asked as we walked to the transporter again, headed for the jumper bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay and I are going to need to have a talk about boundaries when we get back,” I said. “4am wakeup calls are life or death only.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wondered if you’d been there all night,” he nodded. “Well, at least you two are getting along better now. He seems to have taken a liking to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“More so than that Zelenka guy. Is he new or something?” I asked and Sheppard snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he’s just rude to Radek all the time,” Sheppard replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We made it to the jumper bay and he gestured for me to take the driver's seat. I raised an eyebrow at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did fine flying that 302 back to the ship,” he shrugged. “You’re going to have to learn to fly one of these things eventually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shrugged and took the seat. He walked me through starting her up and which buttons to press and when. I turned her on and got to work. The psychic connection to the technology was certainly interesting, it seemed easy. But, maybe that was because my dad possessed the gene and had passed it along to me. From what I understood, the stronger the traces of the gene, the easier time you had. You also had to be comfortable using the technology it seemed, if the reports on Beckett’s use were anything to go off of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” he said. “You’re doing good. Control, this is jumper 2 heading out, dial the gate.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had me lower the jumper slowly into the gate room and showed me how to close the engines and use the residual force to make it through the gate. Once we were through the other side there was a green, mountainous landscape littered with waterfalls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Man,” I said looking around. “You weren’t kidding about those waterfalls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s partially why it didn’t end up being our Alpha site,” he explained. “That and while the water is perfectly drinkable, the microbes are different. Some of the scientists wanted to get some samples in the lab to study them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds like a really fun way to spend their time,” I said and he laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, you’re smart, aren’t you a doctor?” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but I got that doctorate so I could make robots with sawblades on them,” I replied. “Way more interesting than microbes and test tubes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not wrong, although I hope you don’t plan on making any of those robots on Atlantis,” he said and I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We landed the jumper just as the sun was rising. We’d had to park her about a mile from their campsite due to uneven terrain and tree cover. I breathed out and watched the cool morning air turn it to steam. The sunlight was barely streaming through the trees as we walked. I reached down to turn the torch on my P90 on and watched Sheppard do the same. I looked at my watch, it was about 0540 Atlantis time. The sun seemed to rise early here. It was still pretty dark though. I listened to the bark and twigs softly crunching underfoot as we made the 20 minute trek to the scientist’s campsite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As we got closer we could hear yelling, it sounded like arguing. 2 minutes out we heard what sounded like a scuffle. Sheppard looked back at me and nodded once before we took off over the tree roots and leaves, trying to get to camp asap. When we got there, there was no outside trouble like we’d been expecting. No Genai or Wraith. Two of the male scientists were having a very serious slap fight. I looked over to see a female scientist hogtied on the ground while another was standing on a research table with a ridiculously small knife to defend herself. I could hear groaning from one of the tents closest to me and some movement inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just what the hell is going on here?” Sheppard asked. I could hear rushing water along with the crackling of the fire. We must be close to one of the waterfalls. I mean it made sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two slap fighting continued while the one tied up started screaming. I inched over to her to de-gag her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the water!” she screamed first thing she got and Sheppard took his eyes off the slap fighters for a moment to look back at us. I put down my P90 to pull out my combat knife and cut her free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They drank it and everyone’s been acting weird since,” she said. “I tried to calm everything down but they tied me up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about knife girl?” I gestured to the clearly freaked out scientist on the foldable table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It seems to be affecting everyone differently,” she said. “But whatever it is, it’s making everyone delusional.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the people in the tent?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They think they’re gods,” she shrugged. I helped her up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell do we do?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t tell you how to get rid of whatever they’ve got until I can study the samples we took,” she told us. “And we can’t leave them here. They’re going to kill each other.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing in this galaxy is ever easy, is it,” I sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Sheppard said looking around. “We got this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You remember where the gate is?” I asked the formerly hogtied scientist. She nodded. “Our dial in with Control is in about 20 minutes, you should be able to get to the jumper in that time and get a better radio signal. Knife girl doesn’t look like much of a threat right now. Sheppard and I should be able to handle the slap fighters by ourselves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Sheppard nodded, approving of the plan. “Keep in contact, anything happens, radio. When you get in contact with Atlantis, get them to send Major Lorne and his team along with a medical crew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scientist nodded and then hurried away in the rising sunlight. Sheppard handed me a few  ready threaded zip ties and we slowly circled the fighting biologists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright guys, break it up,” he said and was ignored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Things were getting more heated as we’d been talking, now we were trying to break them up, it was worse. Sheppard grabbed one of them to pull him away and he swung for him. He was only just able to dodge. Both guys rounded on Sheppard. I ran up behind my guy and kicked his ankle out from beneath him. He landed on the ground but before he had the chance to get up, I jumped on him. My P90 bounced against my chest because I couldn’t hold it and the ziptie at once. I grabbed one arm and looped the tie around it, pulling it with me as I went to loop his other hand in it. I tugged the end tight, perhaps too tight as he struggled. That was relatively easy I thought, thanks to me having got the jump on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sheppard wasn’t as lucky, having to fight his guy off, subdue him and make sure not to hurt him too bad because he was delusional. Leaving my struggling but subdued biologist on the ground, I looked to Sheppard who gave me the nod to go on for knife girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked over to her, my hands up in the air. She seemed frightened, so maybe I comforted her and she’d come down on her own. If I could get her to put down the knife I could zip tie her and move on. I walked slowly around the side of the table, beside one of the tents. The rushing of the water was getting louder. The table was set up beside a large rock wall, perhaps there was a waterfall on the other side of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knife girl looked at me with my hands in the air. She seemed less startled by me then she had about the two scientists, whatever she was seeing, she wasn’t as afraid now. I smiled softly at her, trying to prove I was no threat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, we’ve subdued them, you can come down now, you’re safe,” I told her. I approached slowly, putting my hands out to her. “Do you want to give me the knife?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slowly crouched on the table, putting the knife down there instead. I offered her a hand down from the table and she paused for a moment, assessing me. Deciding I could be trusted, she stepped forward and took my hand. Pulling her down towards me I asked her if she was alright, she nodded softly. I didn’t think she was much of a threat but if she was as delusional as the others, she had to be bound. There was no telling when or if she could turn on us. Still holding her hand, I yanked her arm behind her and quickly tied her wrists together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NO!!” she screeched and whacked me with her elbow. I was pushed backwards for a moment before I tried to block and push her forward. She spun on her heel and kicked me in the stomach. I coughed and moved back a little, putting my arms up to block the next kick. She ran forward and kicked at me again, I caught her leg, only stumbling back a little. She yanked her leg free and kicked out at me again, I felt the ground slipping away from my feet. I tried to push forward and when she kicked again I was clueless to what was about to happen. I lost more ground under foot and fell back. I was expecting to land flat on my ass but what actually happened was I fell much further. There was a short but steep ditch that I fell back into with a scream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Neill!” Sheppard yelled. I heard running as I tumbled down the ditch and then felt the ground disappear again. “Evelyn!!!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard!!” I screamed as I fell off a much larger cliff. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Nessie Does It Better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t have time to panic for long about the ground no longer being beneath me because instead I came into contact with the hard surface of the rapids I’d been hearing. The water stung my back as it made contact but I didn’t have time to think about how much it hurt as the icy temperatures enveloped me. I remembered my training, trying desperately not to gasp in the cold so my lungs wouldn’t fill up with water. I was disoriented under murky blue as I fought against the currents to get back up to the surface. When my head breached the surface I finally allowed myself to take the deep breath I’d been craving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard,” I called out, hoping I hadn’t been pushed too far from the side of the cliff I’d fallen from. I had to let him know I was still alive. I tread water with my head back, trying to keep myself afloat amongst the rapids. Reaching up to the side of my head I pressed my radio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard,” I said.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Evelyn are you alright?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he asked. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Did you get hurt?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so,” I replied. “I’ve got no idea where in the water I am right now, but I don’t think I’m in any immediate…” something brushed past my leg. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Evelyn?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I don’t think I’m in any immediate..” I let out a scream as I was pulled below the surface of the water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could hear Sheppard’s voice yelling through the radio but it was muffled from the water as I was dragged down into the depths of the river. I grabbed the P90 attached to my chest and fired a spray in the water. I knew it wouldn’t fire far, but if the thing was close enough to drag me down, it was close enough it didn’t matter, I’d hit it. I either scared it off, or I’d wounded it, but I was able to breach the surface again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s something in here with me!” I yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn?” I tried again. She hadn’t said anything since I’d heard the sound of the gunfire and gushing water over the radio. Not since she’d told me there was something in there with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Colonel Sheppard?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard the scientist we’d sent back to the jumper over the radio. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re coming.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good,” I said. “Can you come back here and keep an eye on these guys?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re going after her, aren’t you?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t leave people in trouble,” I told her. I heard a zipper going and the two people who’d been inside the tent stepped out into the daylight. I sighed. Not now. “Alright you two, make this easier for all of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They laughed, of course not. Why would they? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moving quickly I was able to catch the one behind off guard and zip tie them. I circled back around and had to duck out of the way from a few punches in my direction. Thankfully, the two from the tent seemed to have used up a lot of their energy on their other activities. I was able to shove them into the tent and zip it up after I’d bound their wrists so they couldn’t cause trouble or kick me off the cliff as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was torn now, someone had to keep an eye on the bound scientists but I needed to go after Evelyn as well. I looked at the girl by the cliff, she seemed pretty docile now she’d kicked my partner to her near death. I whistled at her, her head snapped to me and she charged. Grabbing her when she came close I dragged her and tossed her into the tent with the other two, leaving just me and the slap fighting biologists. Grabbing one kicking and screaming I was able to move him in as well. I reached for my radio while I waited for the last free scientist to calm down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, when you get down here, keep an eye on the tent, everyone has their wrists bound, I just need someone to watch them make sure they don’t hurt themselves while reinforcements arrive,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, alright,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she said, sounding apprehensive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever you do, don’t open the tent and you’ll be fine,” I told her. I grabbed the last guy and tossed him kicking and screaming into the tent and zipping it closed. I zip tied the two zips together, hoping that would prevent them from escaping and I ran along the side of the cliff, hoping to see Evelyn in the water. It had been nearly 20 minutes since she was knocked off the edge off the cliff, so I doubted she’d still be there, but I had to keep looking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come in Captain O’Neill,” I tried. “Captain O’Neill, please respond.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carson POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I packed as much I could into the various medical kits before they were wheeled out onto a gourney. We grabbed several emergency stretchers as well and headed for the jumper bay. We left the gurney in the jumper bay, ready for our return, taking the kits and the stretchers into the jumper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was incredibly worried about what I'd heard. Many might have been injured due to the microorganism or parasite in the water making people aggressive and I also had no idea how I’d treat it. Not to mention, while Captain O’Neill may have been cleared for flight duties and her lab work, she was not combat ready. While I had no doubts she could handle herself, she’d only had 6-8 months of training on how to defend herself with one hand, which didn’t seem like a lot, even for a highly trained Air Force Pilot. Not to mention Colonel Sheppard was in the party, which meant he was most likely injured, because the lad was always injured. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think it is, Doc?” Major Lorne, who was currently flying the jumper, asked. I frowned, I had no idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have absolutely no idea son,” I said. “Best thing we can do is to transport them back to the infirmary and do some bloodwork and a scan. We’ll have to sedate them, no way they’ll come willingly if the description Langstrom gave us is correct.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’ll be interesting,” he replied. “Do you need medical training to administer the sedative?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, unfortunately you and your team will only be able to subdue our patients until I can administer it safely,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We landed next to Sheppard’s jumper and gathered as many supplies as I thought we’d need immediately and headed out with the rest of the marines. Major Lorne’s team and I managed to make the trip in under 15 minutes because of how much we were hurrying, I estimated the journey at about a mile, which would normally be a 20 minute stroll. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh thank god,” I heard Langstrom say. “Colonel Sheppard sealed them in there and went after Captain O’Neill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did the Captain drink the water too?” I asked, this wasn’t good news. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she shook her head. “Alex shoved her off the cliff. She survived the fall, but there’s something in the water with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Major Lorne recoiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s trying to catch up with her, but the water... it must be too fast.. She’s not on her radio anymore either. I..I don’t think..” Langstrom explained. She looked down at her shoes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” Lorne said. “You guys stay here and help Beckett sedate the research team. Then Langstrom will help you get them back to the jumper and you’ll go back through the gate. When you’re done with the sedatives, Beckett, I want you to come with me in the other Jumper. We’re going to find them.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I nodded. “Let’s get to work then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard,” I croaked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’d been trying to get a hold of me for ages, I could hear him through the water, I wanted to scream out to him but this thing, whatever it was, kept dragging me down. I shot at it as much as I could, that scared it off for a few moments but every time I tried to swim for the edge it would pull me back under and away. It's like it was toying with me. It was dragging me down, but it hadn’t killed me yet, and it was obviously stronger. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Evelyn,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” I said. “It’s been dragging me under,” I gasped. “I don’t know how far I’ve travelled in the river. I-I can’t do this much longer. I’m running out of amo and I.. I don’t think I’ve actually wounded it. It’s playing with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Evelyn, hold on, I’m coming,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he told me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s alright, just keep your head above water a little longer.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard,” I gasped, feeling the thing wrap its bony, webbed fingers around my ankle. It’s claws cutting through my boots, digging into the skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“John,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s got me,” I said before being tugged under the surface of the water again. I gasped for air, holding my P90 steady and firing until I really did run out of ammunition this time. I had no spare clips, I was out.  There was a green and gold flash in front of my eyes, the torchlight on my P90 illuminated the river floor, dust making the water far too murky to clearly see anything. But I knew it was circling me. I kicked my legs trying to make it to the surface. I took another deep breath and then unclipped my side arm. I wasn’t giving up yet, I was an O’Neill after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let myself sink to the bottom against what was most definitely my better judgement. The water burned at my eyes, I could barely see as the gravel and dirt crunched beneath my feet. I waited for it to come to me. I got a pretty good look this time, it was a weird biped version of a fish. I didn’t have time to feel horrified. Instead, as it swam right at me, I held aim, waited until it was within kissing distance and pulled the trigger. I was sure I hit it this time, right in it’s eye. It let out a roar under the water. I swung my leg out and kicked it in the face, using it to give me the momentum to get back up to the surface of the water. I rose up above the surface on its head and I fired down at the beast I was standing on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I said. “Come get me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You alright?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not for long,” I replied, continuing to offload rounds into it. “I just shot it in the eye. Nessie’s pissed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll thank you for not appropriating Scottish culture like that, O’Neill.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Carson?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard John say before I had to take a deep breath again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I need a better strategy than just continually shooting it, I’d caused damage, which was good. I was a step closer to winning. But now it was pissed, the kid gloves were off, it wouldn’t be playing with me any more. It actually would be trying to kill me now. I shoved off the beast and went back to the river floor, shooting out the other eye. Green blood sprayed out into the already murky water. It howled and swiped at me. I cried out as it slashed into my thigh, letting go of precious air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing my gun click I realised I was out of amo in this too. Dropping it to the floor, I pulled my knife from my back, I had to find some place to slash it. There must have been a reason all my shooting at it did nothing, save for the eyes. It was vulnerable in the eye, the skin was too rough. What could I do? Whatever I did, it had to be quick, I was running out of time. I was almost out of air. My lungs burned. That was it. I needed air, and so did Nessie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I took my knife and stabbed into its neck, right into the yellow green gills. It let out a roar and I stumbled back, blinking slowly. I had to get back to the surface. I wavered in the water. I opened my mouth, releasing the rest of the air causing my chest to ache. I was tired. I let go of the knife. I did my best, but Nessie was better. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John POV</p><p>“Come on, O’Neill, answer me!” I yelled as I kept running. </p><p>There was no way I could catch up to her, but I had to. She needed me. Just as I was running faster than I even thought I could I missed my footing, tripping over a tree root and rolling several feet. I caught myself, but only just. I was now teetering over the edge just above a wide pool. This must be where the river collected to, at least for a while. There was a rapid running river either side but the pool looked relatively still. I looked down and I saw the hideous corpse of some strange, green gold blob. It looked like the distant cousin of that thing that killed Tasha Yar. Looking over my other shoulder I spotted her. Oh no. </p><p>“Evelyn,” I called out. “EVELYN!!” </p><p>Damn it. I looked up at the cliff I was hanging onto. Nodding to myself I pulled myself forward, pressing my feet to the cliff wall and then pushing back, leaping into the water below. With a loud splash I landed in the pool, not far from her. Swimming as fast as I could, I grabbed hold of her, holding an arm under her chest and laying back as I pulled her through the water and back to shore. I couldn’t tell, but, I was pretty sure she wasn’t breathing. I was exhausted when we got to the rocky shore, but I managed to pull her up with me. I laid her flat before listening to her. I couldn’t hear her breathing, couldn’t feel a heartbeat. </p><p>“No,” I said. I didn’t bring her out here, I didn’t promise her father, I didn’t do all this just to let her die. Not because of some mutant fish, not for anything. I checked her mouth, clearing her airways before starting chest compressions. </p><p>“Come on,” I said. I refused to give up my rigorous pumping. “You didn’t fight this hard to give up. Don’t give up on me.”</p><p><em> “Sheppard, we see you son, we’re just looking for a place to land,” </em>I heard Beckett say. I could hear a jumper overhead. </p><p>“Carson,” I said desperately. “She’s not breathing.”</p><p>I put my lips to hers, she was cold, from the water but they still held a warmth. That was good. I breathed in and went back to my chest compressions. I breathed into her mouth again, pumping harder. </p><p>“Come on,” I begged. “Come on.”</p><p>We just got here, we’d been in Atlantis barely a day. I felt a crack. Shit. I kept up my compressions, not giving up. I leaned down for another go at breathing. I pulled back again, chest compressions. Come on. One last shot. I tilted her head back, pinched her nose and gave her one last breath. I pulled back as I heard the jumper land. The door opened up and Beckett and Lorne back running over, I was so distracted, I almost didn’t hear the choking beneath me. </p><p>The choking.</p><p>“That thing!” she screamed, sitting up. I caught her, trying to lay her back down. </p><p>“It’s dead,” I soothed. “You’re okay.”</p><p>“It’s dead?” she rasped. I nodded. “Did it break my ribs?”</p><p>“No, that was me,” I replied honestly, sheepishly. She chuckled and then groaned. </p><p>“Ow,” she said. Beckett finally made it over with Lorne, dropping a stretcher beside us. I looked at her soaking blonde hair, coated with dirt and blood. The side of her head was cut and there was a trail of it down her cheek. But she was smiling at me. </p><p>“Are you alright wee darlin?” Carson asked. She nodded. “Alright, where are yeh hurt?”</p><p>“It slashed up my thigh pretty good,” she said, shivering slightly. “Fuck it’s cold.”</p><p>“That could be shock,” Carson said. </p><p>“Could also be because I’m wet,” she replied. </p><p>She reached up to unzip her vest and slid it off her shoulders, along with her drenched jacket and overshirt. She motioned to Lorne. “Give me your jacket,” she demanded and he chuckled. He undid his own vest and slid his jacket over her shoulders. She hummed softly as she slid it on, warming up almost instantly. </p><p>“Are you feeling any rage? At all homicidal?” Carson asked. </p><p>“No more than usual,” she joked. “Are the others okay?”</p><p>“Aye, they’re fine. Heavily sedated and back at Atlantis by now,” he told her. “We’ll need to do some blood work when we get back, check you don’t have what they do, it’s highly likely you having been in the water, but right now I’m most concerned with this thigh wound.”</p><p>“And that gash on the side of her head,” Lorne pointed out. Carson shook his head. </p><p>“A few stitches, she’ll be alright, it’s this thigh, I can’t slow down the blood flow, we need to move her now.”</p><p>Moving before I realised what I was doing, I scooped her up and had her on the stretcher, Lorne and I lifted her in seconds and were hurrying back to the jumper. We dropped her down on the floor of the jumper and Lorne took the wheel, so to speak. </p><p>“I can’t get around these bloody trouser legs,” Beckett said frustratingly. </p><p>“Cut ‘em off, I wanna live,” O’Neill said simply. She reached with her right hand for my combat knife. I handed it to her and she then started ripping through the fabric. </p><p>“Sheppard, start on her boots,” he told me and I untied the shredded leather. “Bind that wound and then come back up here. Hand me the trouser leg.”</p><p>He took her severed pant leg and tied it at the very top of her thigh, pulling it as tight as he could, making a makeshift tourniquet. He started cleaning the wound, Evelyn started screaming, trying to grip the side of the stretcher to fight the pain. </p><p>“Calm down lass, I know it hurts but it’s not that bad,” Beckett told her and she shook her head. </p><p>“Trust me it is,” she said through gritted teeth. “That thing, it must have something in its claws,” she cried out. “This is worse than when I lost my hand.”</p><p>“It would explain why I can’t slow the bleeding any, you’re lucky it didn’t sever the femoral,” he said. “Could also be the water doing it. I’ll give you a coagulant for now and when we get back to base I’ll give you a platelet transfusion as well as blood bags. Do you know your blood type?” she nodded. </p><p>“I’m A negative.” That was my blood type. </p><p>“Aye,” Carson said. “John is too, seems I better ask Earth for more supplies, the amount I see you two.”</p><p>“Oh come on,” I rolled my eyes. “I don’t go to the infirmary that often.”</p><p>“Aye, usually you’re hiding your injuries from me,” he agreed and Evelyn chuckled, before wincing and grabbing her chest. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I could hear soft beeping of machines around me, that meant I was probably in the infirmary. Which meant I’d definitely killed that fish thing. I knew as soon as I opened my eyes, the light was going to hurt. I could hear snoring near me, I’d have to ask Dr. Beckett if I could move to a private room, that snoring would drive me mental. I opened my mouth, feeling like I’d been in the desert rather than the water.</p><p>“You thirsty, love?” Beckett asked. </p><p>“Yeah,” I croaked. </p><p>“Can you open your eyes for me, darlin?” he asked. </p><p>“I’d rather not,” I replied. “Light’s gonna be too bright.”</p><p>“I’ll dim them for you, hang tight,” he said before I heard some footsteps walking away. “Alright, how’s that wee darlin?”</p><p>I frowned, deciding on whether or not I should just go back to sleep and not bother with this eye opening thing. I shook my head, Beckett tried really hard to save me, I should do this for him. Who the fuck kept snoring? I blinked slowly, breaking through the sand sealing the shut. Eventually I convinced myself to open them. It stung a little bit looking into the light, but it wasn’t so bad, Beckett had actually dimmed the lights a fair amount. I looked at where he was standing, he was by the door, looked like I was already in a private room. Then who was snoring? I looked over angrily to the side. John. I softened. </p><p>“He’s been there the whole time,” Beckett said. “But it’s okay to find the snoring annoying.’’</p><p>“How am I doing?” I asked. </p><p>“Well, he only cracked a rib when he was giving you CPR, it’s quite common actually, but thankfully there’s no broken ribs, or bones of any kind. You didn’t end up needing anything more than some wee butterfly stitches for your head. You had a pretty gnarly cut on your leg and hip, but I’ve sewn it up, and once we got you back here we were able to get the bleeding under control. By some miracle, both you and John managed to avoid the pathogen that was in the Marine Biologists.”</p><p>“Did they cook any fish while they were camping?” I thought I’d ask. If that fish thing I fought had magical not healing powers, maybe the fish made people angry.</p><p>“Actually, aye,” he said. “It was in the water, but humans probably can’t absorb enough on their own. The fish probably built it up in their system and then when the biologists ate them, they got it much more concentrated.”</p><p>“Course you’ll have to go fishing to find out if that’s true,” I told him and he grinned. </p><p>“Don’t think I’ll have a problem with that wee darlin,” he said. “Now, how about some water?”</p><p>He walked over and handed me a cup with a straw in it. There was ice in the cup too. I sighed softly as I drank it. I looked back over at John, I wanted to wake him up, let him know I was okay, but I was also exhausted. I reached my hand over on my right side and put it on his forearm. He jumped slightly but then grinned at me when he realised. </p><p>“I’ll leave you two to it,” Beckett said. I yawned. </p><p>“Thanks for saving me,” I said. “And not giving up on me, and then staying with me.”</p><p>“It was nothing,” he replied. “I was just looking out for my team. You’d do the same.”</p><p>“I don’t know if I could, but I’d try,” I told him. I yawned again, man I really was tired. He frowned. </p><p>“I’ll let you get some sleep,” he said, standing up. I gripped his wrist and pulled as he took a step. He turned back to look down at me.  </p><p>“Will you stay with me just a bit longer?” I asked. He smiled softly. </p><p>“Yeah,” he nodded and sat back down. Maybe his snoring wasn’t so bad after all.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I'll Bring My Arm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beckett had taken me off the heart monitor, I was mostly just sleeping in the infirmary still because it was still hard to move with my thigh as cut up as it was. I was allowed to wear my own pyjamas though, that was nice. But without the rhythmic beeping, it was awfully quiet. John had visited a lot in his downtime, which he didn’t get a lot of, so the conversations were short and then he fell asleep, but we did laugh when he was conscious and not snoring away. I began to crave a little attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” I heard McKay say from the doorway. That was a mean joke, God. “How ya feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” I said. “I’ve been better.” He laughed softly. He took that as a sign to approach and he sat down on the chair beside me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you made it back,” he told me awkwardly. “I don’t often meet people who.. match me intellectually. Course our interests are vastly different, but I.. I like you, having you around when I’m working. So do me a favour, don’t die next time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t.. well, I suppose technically I did,” I said. “I’ll do my best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” he nodded. Then he produced a tablet. “Now check this over, I was working on it but Zelenka’s incessant talking is driving me nuts.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should be a little nicer to him,” I said. “He might not be as smart as you, but if you’re not just being arrogant, if you’re really that smart, you’re going to encounter a lot of people like him. Being dumb isn’t a good enough reason for you to be mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah,” he rolled his eyes. “The research.” He gestured to the tablet he’d place in my lap and I shook my head, going back to reading over it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh now this is a surprise,” I heard Beckett say. “Only time I see Rodney in here is when he’s having one of his bouts of hypochondria. Is everything alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shut up,” he rolled his eyes. “We’re doing important research.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just how I imagine Evelyn wants to spend her time off,” Beckett rolled his eyes. “Actually, that’s why I’m here. Your time off is coming to an end. I was just about to discharge you, if you think you can make it to your quarters. You’ve been doing quite well with your physical therapy and have been moving around here a fair bit. Are you keeping up with your exercises?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I nodded. “Hip’s fine, thigh works like it’s supposed to. Your company is nice but I’d love to get out of here.” Beckett chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he nodded. “You’re free to go. No off world for a while, but I have no problem with you returning to light duties. I’ll check you over again in a week or so.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay,” I said, handing him back the tablet. “I’ll meet you in the lab in an hour? I wanna go get dressed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No can do,” he replied. “That’s lunch, meet me in the mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Done,” I smiled. “I’ll bring my arm. I have some tests I wanna run.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, she said she was bringing her arm, with her?” I asked and McKay nodded through mouthfuls of food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was incredibly unsettling to hear, but I suppose that is what the air force sent her out here for isn’t it? To work on the technology.” McKay said as I pushed my own food about in the tray. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah I think her dad just wanted her someplace new so she could have a fresh start without feeling like she’d lost something,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have yet to meet this Evelyn O’Neill, how should I address her? You said she was both a Doctor and a Captain?” Teyla asked. I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Traditionally in the military it’s rank over title, but she doesn’t much seem to care,” I told her. “Back on the Daedelus she told McKay to use whatever he preferred. Captain or Doctor. Although that may have been because he was behaving like an asshole.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was not!” he defended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was not what?” Evelyn said dumping a decently large, metal briefcase down on the table beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Being an asshole,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought hell freezing over would be warmer, I guess all the way out here nobody noticed,” she replied with a cheeky grin. “I’ll be back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wandered off to get herself some lunch and Teyla grinned as she watched her go. I had a feeling Evelyn was going to fit in fine around here. And she seemed to be getting on with McKay like a house on fire now they’d gotten their first meeting behind them. Coming back over with enough food to rival McKay’s appetite, she sat down. Ignoring her tray completely she pulled the briefcase over. Flicking the latches back with a click, she opened it to display a foam filled box with some metal nightmare inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Teyla started. “What is, what is that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is what the Air Force thinks is cutting edge technology,” she replied sullenly, not looking up as she attached the metal arm to her own. “I’m not quite sure how bad it’ll be, but I have to test it out before I can really make any improvements. They gave me training when I first got it, but, I found it pretty much useless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks like something out of a space horror,” McKay said with his mouth full. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s heavy and clunky and it doesn’t work very well,” Evelyn explained. “Look, I’ll show you,” she handed him an apple off over her tray and turned to face him. “Toss this to the robot arm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was really never really good at sports as a kid..” McKay started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Trust me, it’s not going to matter,” she told him. He relented and tossed the apple right at the clamp that worked as two fingers. It hit the clamp and landed on the table with a thud. “Wait for it,” she said and after about 30 seconds of waiting, the clamp opened and snapped shut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that supposed to happen?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” she replied. “I keep being told it’s user error and the technology might not be compatible with me, blah blah blah, delay is normal… It’s not me, it’s this thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If the technology isn’t compatible with you, shouldn’t they be using different technology?” McKay asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what I said,” she agreed. “Which is why I’ve been banished out here. If I wanna use better tech, I can do it here. And I have to send any relevant discoveries back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that seems unfair…” Teyla said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, it’s not so bad. It means I get to keep flying. And they’re not making me retire, there’s not really any jobs out there I can really do besides teach robotics. Even that usually requires 2 hands.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She moved to pick up the apple off the table. The arm moved a little faster this time in opening the clamp. She picked up the apple and brought it to her face. Suddenly I was assaulted with a cold, sticky spray. I looked at the robot arm and saw the apple had been crushed completely and there were chunks of it on Evelyn’s face and on the table around us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is going to get old fast,” she commented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never challenging you to an arm wrestling contest,” McKay retorted as he was chewing. Evelyn burst out laughing, really laughing and it was the first time I’d heard her do it since we got here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m almost scared to use this to open up my sandwich,” she said and I made a grab for it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think one minor explosion is enough for the day,” I told her and she chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least it was your left hand,” McKay told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I imagine that would have been a great comfort to me if I was right handed,” she told him and he frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t tell me..” she nodded. “Oh, I’m sorry.” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, I could have lost my life,” she said. “And then you and John would have died on the Daedelus. You guys were kinda hopeless without me..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now hang on, I wouldn’t go that far Missy, we were doing just fine on our own before you go here,” he said. “I would have figured out the 302 unit thing eventually.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But we didn’t have eventually, did we?” she grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I nodded as I read through the research he’d done. “Why don’t we just skip all the what if’s? Let’s just start her up and try it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because, if I’m wrong, I don’t want to be the one responsible for blowing up Atlantis.” McKay replied. “Yes ultimately you or Zelenka could activate it but this is my lab, you’re technically my team and this is my lab. Anything you do here is my fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Awesome, no personal responsibility,” I grinned and put the control crystal in before he could stop me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Wait!” he yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on, the three of us are all sure this is what it does, let me try it,” I said and started sending over the schematics to the machine from my tablet.  Ignoring his protests, I kept running through the program and stated the sequence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I watched the machine come to life and start whirring away. There was a semi-detached piece that worked like an arm, sliding back and across. It worked very similarly to a 3D printer but was much sleeker and less clunky than the ones we had back in the military base I’d trained at. Granted, that was a long time ago. Fascinated, I sat and watched the repetitive motion of the arm while McKay continued on his rant. Zelenka came back from the chess game he’d just been at and stood with me, watching between the tablet and the machine as it processed our design. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, well at least tell me what you decided to print if you’re just going to ignore me,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s almost done,” I said as the machine slowed down. It’s whirring stopped and it switched itself off. I touched the machine with the back of my hand and it felt pretty warm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wonder if there's a way we can modify it to not turn itself off after each production,” McKay said coming over to take the design out of the machine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think that’s a safety protocol made by the ancients,” I said. “It heats up a lot, it must be to cool it down between projects. We should see if it lets us print something else off. Quick, remove that model from the machine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zelenka, get the laser thermometer, we’ll measure it’s temperature to observe the changes more accurately,” McKay agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what is it?” I asked as I stared at the dot moving through the schematics of the ventilation system.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know,” Elizabeth answered. “It’s not showing up as a lifesign but it is shown as moving, at its own accord no less, through the ventilation shafts and we don’t know what it is or why. Various systems are shutting down in each segment it’s visited but we don’t quite know what’s wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So why isn’t McKay here?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because we’re not exactly sure what it is and if it’s a threat to life, so we don’t know if it’s safe to send someone in there and he’ll want to get eyes on it,” she replied. “And I know most of his team will as well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” I nodded. “Well the only way we can stop it is either blowing the shaft it’s in or going in after it. Assuming it’s organic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If not?” Elizabeth asked. I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” I replied. “I think whether we want to or not we’re going to need someone on the science team in on this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about uh, what’s her name, O’Neill, she’s military,” Lorne suggested. I nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a good idea, but we both know the first thing she’s going to do is climb into the vents herself,” I said. “Come on,” I said. “You and I will do a sweep, see if we can catch it when it stops in one of the segments, get it out in the open.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You might have a better shot at getting it that way, shall I issue a lockdown?” Elizabeth asked. I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we want to avoid mass panic and alerting whatever it is to the fact we know about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Very well, report back soon,” she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice,” McKay said admiring my work. “Still can’t believe the first thing we printed was a Star Trek action figure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just be glad it was Spock and not Kirk,” I smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at my arm, I’d managed to print a lighter weight prosthetic that fit better than the silicone one I refused to wear. I found that one even worse than the metal nightmare. It was hollow and printed in a honeycomb/spiderweb pattern to use less materials and keep it lighter in weight. It also allowed for my arm to breathe so I could use it for longer periods of time. It didn’t move and didn’t have moveable fingers but it was still far more useful than the silicone one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what now?” McKay asked. I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might work on that thing we found a few weeks ago, the one that attacked me,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d forgotten about that little guy,” McKay said. We walked over to the bucket and I lifted the brick and put it on a nearby bench. McKay held the bucket, ready to lift it and step back while I was crouching, ready to smack my hand down and grab it right away. I gave him the nod and then moved my hand, slapping the floor. I looked around with a frown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s gone,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bigger problem, where?” McKay replied pointing to a hole in the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh crap,” I said and he nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” I nodded, standing up and taking a deep breath. “Let’s not panic,” I said, panicking. “Do we have one of those long camera ropes plumbers use?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah it was the first thing I packed when I heard I was coming on this expedition,” McKay replied sarcastically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright genius, how do you propose we figure out where it went?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The lifesigns scanner,” he replied, clicking his fingers at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But Rodney, it being bionic, the lifesigns detector may not pick it up,” Zelenka pointed out. McKay shot him a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll modify it obviously,” he said. “It’s moving so we just need to set the scanner to find something it’s sending out, large sources of heat, pulses, anything..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s ancient design, you think their records will tell us what it is?” I asked. “Or maybe..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or maybe they’ll have modified the scanner to pick it up already,” he clicked at me agreeing with me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he said. “Zelenka, you start skimming the database for the bug and O’Neill, you’re with me trying to modify the scanner.”</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Stabby Little Bastard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’re you going to even read the scanner while crawling?” McKay asked and I pulled off my new porus hand, sliding the scanner inside and pushing it back on. I waved it at him and showed that not only did it fit snugly inside the wrist, but there were enough holes in the artificial hand I could still read the scanner without it impacting the screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zelenka should go, we already know he can fit inside the vents,” McKay tried again. “I mean, you’ve only just been discharged from the infirmary, Carson isn’t going to be happy if you end up right back in there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay, I’m scooting through the vents, not going into active combat, will you relax? Plus, I’m smaller than Zelenka which means I’ll have more space to move around in there. I’m going,” I told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s any consolation, I don’t even want to go,” Zelenka said and we both ignored him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, any trouble and you bail out,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, dad,” I rolled my eyes, patting my leg to check for my side arm. “Right, now you two give me a boost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put my hands up against the wall as McKay and Zelenka each beant down either side of me and hoisted me up by the thighs. I sat on their shoulders and tried to grab hold of the vent shaft. Damn, I stretched higher. Too short. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you get me higher?” I asked. They were already panting and spluttering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” McKay yelled beneath me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I stand on your shoulders?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” they both yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“NO!!” I heard two voices yell angrily just as Lorne and I rounded the corner. I looked up to see Evelyn sitting on top of McKay and Zelenka’s shoulders just below an air vent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell are you three up to?” I asked as we approached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t hold her much longer,” Zelenka gasped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I’m not that heavy,” Evelyn said as she perched just above his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re not that athletic,” McKay groaned. “Alright, put her down, we’ll think of something else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” I said as we caught up to them. “You never answered my question.” The three of them exchanged a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing?” Evelyn tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys find out about the suspicious movement in the vents too?” I asked. I was at least right about Evelyn trying to go in there, herself. “Was that you who modified the system in the control room to pick it up, McKay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, no, O’Neill and I only managed to modify one scanner, you’re saying the control room changed by itself?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We picked up this thing just after lunch,” I told him. McKay and Evelyn exchanged a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But that’s before we..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It must be automatic for the control room,” she shrugged. “We just had to enable it on our handhelds.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know what it is,” Evelyn told me. “Or we think we do, come up one floor with us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She led the four of us back to McKay’s lab and showed us a hole in the floor, just above where we’d been. I looked to the benchtop beside us and saw the brick and bucket from a few weeks ago. Suddenly it was all coming together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember that thing I shot?” she asked. I nodded. “It got out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shot it because it attacked you, you really want to go back in there?” I asked her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know how to shut it off, thanks to Zelenka here,” she shrugged. “So yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’d you come up with?” I turned to Zelenka. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He didn’t,” McKay said. “He just skimmed the database until he found the creature and it was O’Neill who came up with how to shut it down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a maintenance bot,” she told me. “I think it’s coding got corrupted. It would have started off as something small and to fix it, it just bypassed the protocol and completed the rest of it’s work. But over the last 10 000 years it became a much bigger problem. Every system it bypassed disabled more and more protocols which corrupted more and more code which it had to bypass until it got worse and worse and it’s shutting things down. I think it was dormant while the city was unoccupied but once we got here it started back up again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or at least since we plugged the zed pm.” McKay added. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you can shut it down?” I asked O’Neill and she nodded confidently. “Right, let’s get you up into that vent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I led the group back to the open vent and this time, Lorne and I hoisted her up into the air. Not only could she reach the vent this time, but we weren’t shaking under the maybe 130 pounds of weight. Once she was up and grabbing hold of the vent, Lorne and I squatted down to grab a foot each and push her up and through the vent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You good?” I called up to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she called back with a slight echo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep on the radio, use channel 2. We’re going to split up and try to follow you from down here,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” McKay asked. “We’re going to do what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine McKay, you can stay here and man the entrance,” I told him and then split the corridor between Zelenka and Lorne, sending them each in the opposite direction. I then made a move to head downstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shimmied through a fair few miles of vents before I even got anywhere interesting. I had to keep narrating where I was going so Sheppard and Lorne could follow. Apparently Zelenka was also following but that didn’t exactly fill me with much faith. I wasn’t sure what they expected him to do if I was to come across some live threat or homicidal robot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I checked my arm, it was closer than it had been before. I couldn’t exactly tell what level it was on or it’s exact location, but I knew I was at least narrowing the search area. I pushed myself through more vents and then slid round a corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Lorne, I’m heading your way it looks like,” I said and scooted further. I could hear what sounded like limping clicking of robotic legs. Great, I was really close. “I hear it,” I whispered. “Keep the radio quiet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I slowly moved forward, trying to be quiet. I crawled forward more only to swear internally. It was down a level. There was a tube down ahead, but it was a two floor drop straight down or a one story drop with an entrance to the next level down. The problem was that it was the same tube and I had to slide down slow enough that I was able to stop at my level instead of just falling out the vents and onto the floor below. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard,” I whispered. “I’m going down a level, Lorne’s side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I crawled over the top of the drop, opting instead to slide down legs first, pushing hard against the vents with my legs so I could slowly walk myself down the shaft. I pressed my back hard into the cold metal. This better work. I almost screamed as I lost my footing for a moment and slipped about two feet. I let out a deep breath, swearing over the radio.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sudden drop,” I replied. Walking myself down a little further, my foot made contact with the next horizontal shaft. I squatted in the tube and reached out for the corner, trying to pull myself in. With a struggle, I made it in. The clicking footsteps of the bug was louder now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s close,” I whispered. I crawled forward, according to the detector, I was almost on top of it. I heard it scurrying closer. I frowned, it sounded like it was limping only some of the time. “Oh shit.” I said. It wasn’t alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn?” Sheppard asked. “Where are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I rattled off the room I thought I was in as I crawled closer, I had to shut them down, as many as there were, before they all destroyed the place. Who knows what havok their broken programming could be causing? I pushed myself forward only to find about 20 of them pooling right in front of me, like they were waiting for me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, hello everyone,” I greeted the machines. The two legged one shuffled forward slowly, trying to check me out. It observed me for a moment before it suddenly threw itself at me just like it had done last time. It hit me in the shoulder and I tried to throw it off, but I couldn’t get it with anything but my prosthetic. I swatted at it before I just gave up and reached out to grab another and worked on shutting them down. Each one I grabbed and shut down I threw down the drop to the room below that they’d all gathered in. They hit the grate with a clank and I moved on to the next. For some reason the one on my shoulder was just sitting there, not trying to do anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn, how you doing?” Sheppard radioed. “I’m almost at the room you’re above.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a lot of them,” I said. “I’ve managed to shut a lot of them down, the one I shot, it’s well, it’s not attacking me, it seems to be hiding in my hair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t ask me,” I replied, tossing another down the shaft. I was almost done when one bit me, or stabbed me, hard. “MOTHER FUCKER,” I cried out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn?” Sheppard demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It stabbed me!” I yelled. I looked at the blood dripping out of my good wrist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It stabbed you?” McKay said. “I’ll call Beckett.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This one looked different to the rest. If a bug shaped robot could look angry, or mean, this one did. It had four legs as opposed to the three legged others I’d been dealing with. It charged at me and I scooted back as fast as I could through the vent. I couldn’t reach my side arm and scoot at the same time. I scooted so far back I was at the other drop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit!” I said. “I need someone down a level!” I yelled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lorne, take my position!” Sheppard yelled and I could hear running. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was hanging half in the vent I’d walked down, half in the vent I’d been in when I found this little bastard. I didn’t think I’d be able to catch myself if it got any closer. I wriggled, trying to reach for my side arm, I couldn’t get it. I’d have to just hit it hard and hope that disabled it long enough I could shut it down. I could feel ‘two legs’ the bot wriggling behind me and tried to shake it off as I readied myself. It was walking down my back as I tried to scoot slightly further back from the bug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It closed in and I panicked, punching it with my prosthetic and making it slide back in the vents. It angrily charged at me and I swatted it back again. I felt a tug at my thigh and saw Two Legs on my side arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop that you little bastard,” I told it and swatted the bad one with my prosthetic arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was just making it angier unfortunately and I didnt know how I was going to get a hold of it to shut it down. If the same thing would even work on this one. My gun clanked down in the vent and I saw the friendly scooting back on one leg and used it’s other to drag the firearm up the vent. That little shit was helping this thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I swatted the angry bug away again. Maybe I needed to squash rather than swat. Whatever I did I had to do it quick, because the not so friendly was about to either shoot me or steal my gun. I glared at it and it paused by my hand. It looked at me and then scurried back behind me, hiding in my hair again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” I found myself asking. The angry one charged again, stabbing wildly as it ran. It jabbed me in the finger and I smacked it with my prosthetic, stunning it for a moment. I picked up the handgun and took the safety off, firing immediately. It let out a screeching sound and unfolded itself to make itself bigger. And then I screamed. I had to take my chances with the floor. I threw myself backwards out into the vertical vent and screamed as it charged at me. I could hear Sheppard yelling out to me and running before I fell through the grate below. I hit something hard with a thud and heard a groan. Looking around, I saw that I had landed in someone’s arms rather than the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ow,” I heard John say after a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you?” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel the bot in my hair wriggling around before it was on my shoulder, peaking out at the world around me. My calm was cut short however, as the thing that had morphed and chased me was now dropping out of the vent at us. I pointed my gun and hit it mid air a couple times before John dropped me and pulled his own gun. I repositioned myself on the floor and we both unloaded our clips on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think it’s dead?” he asked. I shrugged. We approached slowly. It was in several, very holy pieces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s definitely dead,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John helped me up off the floor and we headed to the briefing room to discuss what had happened with Dr. Weir. I sat down beside Teyla in one of the many chairs that surrounded the odd shaped conference table. John basically went over everything we did and then got a stern lecture from Dr. Weir over how he said he was going to keep me out of this mission and did the complete opposite 10 minutes later. I tried not to laugh to myself. Although it did beg the question as to why I was being kept from this. My light duties perhaps?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Captain, what was the thing that attacked you, and how is it different than the friendlies you described?” Dr. Weir asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the friendly ones are just maintenance/repair droids with faulty programming, a factory reset or re-writing the code should fix them,” I explained. “The other thing that will haunt my nightmares forever, is some kind of attack bot. It seems to be actually designed to attack, for whatever reason. It’s something Dr. McKay and I would have to look into more.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And the repair bots?” Weir asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Programming is already fixed, we shut them down and their new software is being uploaded,” I said. The two legged one that had been hiding in my hair boldly decided to skuttle down my arm and take up residence on the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about this one?” Weir asked, observing it. I looked at the little guy fondly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For some reason this little guy specifically and exclusively has been programmed with a personality. Almost like a very basic artificial intelligence, toddler level, autonomous in the way a dog or a cat would be,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you reset it?” Weir asked. I frowned. It had a consciousness, however simple. It wasn’t a mindless machine, it had helped save me in those vents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No I’ve fixed it’s programming, I thought I’d leave him alone. He seems to like me, even after I shot it’s leg off,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How bizarre,” Weir said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured I’d make up for that by building him his own little prosthetic and we’d have ourselves the first amputee service bot in Atlantis. Now I’ve fixed all the bugs in their programming we can have all our non essential maintenance carried out by the bots so we can focus on bigger issues.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s truly amazing how humans will packbond with anything,” McKay piped in, looking at me like I was insane. “It’s a robot, why not just reset it with the rest? It’s not a pet, Evelyn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t reach my sidearm when I was in the vents, he gave it to me when that thing was coming for me,” I said. “It didn’t have to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well that justifies it,” McKay rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Captain, you can go, just promise me no more holes in the floor or rogue bots roaming the halls or vents, shutting systems down,” Weir told me. “And keep an eye on your little friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I nodded once and pulled out my chair. “You coming?” I asked the bot and put out my hand. It scurried back up my arm and perched on my shoulder. I headed out and back to the lab, watching over Zelenka rebooting my friends. I scoffed at that, my friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dr. O’Neill,” Zelenka greeted. “I didn’t think you’d be back tonight, after all the excitement.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” I replied. “Wanted to get my friend here, a new leg.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, the one you decided not to factory reset,” Zelenka said. “I suppose he’s like one of my pigeons, they seem simple, but have their own little personalities and quirks.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should we name him?” I asked as I started typing up some schematics for the 3D printer to build my little buddy a new leg. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” McKay said, walking in. “You should not name him, he’s not a pet. He’s not a he, it’s an it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His name is Micro,” I responded instantly. McKay rolled his eyes at me before coming over to see what I was going. “Wanna help me pick a colour?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not make it grey like all the rest of them?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why should he hide the fact that it’s a prosthetic?” I replied. “No, we need to show off how much of a badass he is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You keep this up and I’m sending you to Atlantis’s psychologist,” he told me. “And I think it should be green.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Green it is,” I grinned. I made up a neon green paint profile and added it to the programming for the robotic arm to follow.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Androcles, the Lion & the 3 Legged Robot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>
  <span>The next few weeks passed in a blur. There was relatively no action or drama to speak of. Besides whatever McKay and Zelenka decided to argue about every day. I kept up with the physical therapy and exercises Dr. Beckett had set so when there finally was trouble he was literally clearing me for active duty once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is a joke, right?” Beckett asked as he walked away from Dr. Weir, heading back over to me as I perched on a gurney, swinging my legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid not,” Elizabeth said as she followed him over, giving me a smile and a nod as she got closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want me to go to an alien planet and perform surgery on an armed man holding Teyla hostage?” Beckett asked. I raised an eyebrow. Things were never dull in the Pegasus Galaxy. Not even for a little while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, something like that,” she agreed. “And apparently you don’t have much time. The Wraith could show up at any minute.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh! It’s getting better all the time!” he cried out in exasperation, turning away from me again to look at Dr. Weir. I smiled softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you cleared Captain O’Neill for field work yet?” Weir asked. I frowned. Why was this coming up now? I didn’t want to go to skin cancer planet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?” Beckett demanded, sounding like he’d made the same conclusion I had. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, with the object you're removing being a somewhat advanced technology, you’re going to need her expertise in robotics to assist you,” Weir explained. “What do you say, O’Neill, do you feel comfortable going into active Wraith territory yet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t really have much of a choice, do I?” I replied. “I can’t very well leave that guy to suffer any longer, can I? And I don’t think John would be too happy if I just let him kill Teyla either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think it’ll come to that, if it helps,” Weir said. “It’s just the Wraith you’ll have to watch out for.” I heard Carson sigh. I looked over at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have they found Lieutenant Ford yet?” he asked. I looked between the two. Who was Lieutenant Ford? There had been no such person on base since I’d joined the expedition. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Weir answered seriously. “I haven’t told you about McKay yet either..” Beckett and I both sighed. “Come on, pack up what you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think an operating room and a bloody army will fit through the gate,” Beckett muttered to himself, grabbing equipment from various shelves. I chuckled softly. I headed off to the lab I worked out of, to grab what I thought might be helpful and easy to carry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, Micro, you’re not coming with. It’s too dangerous,” I said. “Plus, you kind of freak out new people. Last thing I need is the antsy guy with the gun shooting you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The little robot scuttled around on the benchtop indignantly and made argumentative tapping sounds. I smiled softly and grabbed the rest of my equipment, heading to the Jumper bay to meet Beckett and Sheppard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Elizabeth roped you into this as well, did she?” I heard John say before I saw him. I smiled softly and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She thought if Beckett couldn’t remove it safely I could turn it off,” I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sure you want to head into active Wraith territory?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to happen eventually, I’d prefer it if my first time was on my terms,” I replied. He smiled and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, can’t say the rest of us were that lucky, you wanna drive?” he said. I grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hell yeah,” I cheered, running inside to sit in the driver's seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beckett joined us shortly after and I took us through to the gate room and out through the portal. We were at the landing site relatively quickly and then Sheppard pulled his radio, ready to contact the guy holding Teyla hostage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teyla, this is Sheppard, come in?” he said as we made our way through the thick forest. There were a few moments of silence before there was a response. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go ahead, Colonel,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Teyla replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” John asked. I could feel crawling in the back of my vest and I sighed to myself. That little stowaway…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, we are fine,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Teyla said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here with Doctor Beckett and Doctor O’Neill,” he told her. “He’s coming in, can we send in O’Neill too?” there was another pause, presumably so Teyla could vouch for me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon would like me to remind you that Doctor Beckett and O’Neill remain unarmed,” Teyla said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beckett quickly and easily handed over his one weapon and then John turned to me, looking like he was warning me not to bring in anything concealed. I sighed and let him unclip my P90 and handed him everything else I had on my person too. He almost looked surprised. Kind of impressed even. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, for what it’s worth,” John started. “I’d never send you in there if I thought the guy was gonna hurt ya.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that opinion based on some sort of evidence, or is it just a gut feeling that this gentleman isn’t dangerous?” Beckett responded in a whisper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t say he wasn’t dangerous. He could probably kill you in the blink of an eye. I don’t think he will,” John replied and I snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well thank you, I feel much better now,” Beckett replied sarcastically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ever heard of Androcles and the Lion?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, and who are you in this retelling? The Romans?” Beckett replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I’ll be right up there,” John said, looking at some cliff walls up high. “Plus, you’ve got O’Neill by your side. She might be unarmed, but she’s a trained military captain. You’ll be safe with her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Beckett sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We headed through the pass and started walking towards this supposed cave they were hid out in. Around some trees I set eyes on Teyla who looked unharmed. And beside her was a giant warrior looking guy with dreads. No wonder he managed to get the drop on John and Teyla, he was huge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello, I normally don’t make house calls like this, but then again this isn’t really a house, is it?” Beckett tried making smalltalk to calm himself down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s in the case, Doc?” the guy asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Surgical implements, diagnostic tools, various drugs, analgesics, antibiotics..” he listed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he asked, tuning to Teyla. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon, Doctor Carson Beckett. Doctor Beckett, Ronon,” Teyla introduced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand you have some sort of a transmitter in your back,” Beckett said, getting straight to business. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which means you must be Dr. O’Neill,” Ronan said, ignoring Beckett. “Teyla says you’re a different kind of Dr. that you work with machines. Why are you here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he can’t get it out, or if he does and it’s still throwing out your location, I’m going to shut it off,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can shut it off?” Ronon asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe, I wanna see what it looks like, so either way you’re getting cut,” I shrugged. “I need to know what it’s made of before I can do anything.” He nodded, seeming accepting of my answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, have a seat. Off with your shirt, let’s have a look,” Beckett ordered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little help?” Ronon looked between Teyla and myself. Teyla uncomfortably started taking off his armour and handed them to me to hold. She looked shocked at some scars on his chest. They were pretty gnarly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My God! Tell me you didn’t try to cut this thing out yourself,” Beckett said from behind him and I walked around to see what he was talking about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I tried once with a mirror, couldn't quite reach. Most of it’s from two different doctors,” Ronon explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one I know who calls himself a doctor would do this,” Beckett huffed. They were even worse than the chest wounds. He pulled out an ancient scanner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that Ancestor technology?” Ronon asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That it is,” Beckett replied, concentrating on the scan. I didn’t have to be that kind of Dr. to understand what I was seeing wasn’t great. “Son, you’re going to have to put that weapon down and lie down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not a chance,” Ronon said defiantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now you listen to me, I’ve located the transmitter. It’s in the soft tissue next to the second thoracic vertebrae,” Beckett explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, cut it out,” Ronon said. I rolled my eyes. This could go on all day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t do that with you sitting up like this, and I’m going to have to give you some anaesthetic to make you sleep,” Beckett explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you’re not,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me?” Beckett replied indignantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon, you need to trust us,” Teyla told him firmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” he said, raising his gun and pointing it at her. “That’s why they’re here and you’re still alive. Now if he won’t do it, let the woman doctor do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long on that sun going down?” I asked. Ronon looked up at the sky and frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not long, why?” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I presume you want us to be able to see when we try to take that thing out, unless you’d rather we just closed our eyes and hoped for the best,” I replied irritably. He let out a singular soft laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In the cave, you can set up there,” he pointed with his gun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I moved to help Beckett shift everything. John wasn’t going to like that, we’d be out of his sight rendering his sniper position useless. And that was probably why Ronon suggested it. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that’s what John would be doing when he sent us in. Teyla took some of the more awkward shaped boxes in my place and Ronan walked close behind me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’d you lose your arm?” he asked, gesturing to my 3D printed prosthetic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon!” Teyla scolded and I snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, Teyla,” I told her. “My helicopter went down. It’s a type of air ship.” I explained. “My lieutenant got injured, we had to do an emergency medical evacuation and during that we were shot right out of the sky. Ironically, he’s fine. The way the ship blew, I got caught in the heat of the explosion, debris pinning me down. Took my dominant hand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Ronon said and I smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, did you shoot me down?” I said and he smiled back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We moved around the cave, setting up emergency lighting and making a makeshift infirmary. It was hard setting up a clean, bacteria free space but we did what we could inside of an actual cave. We sat Ronon down on a large rock, Teyla standing in front of him, me at the side of the incision and Beckett behind him, ready to make the first cut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I’m ready. Look, I just wanna say this one last time: I really don’t think this is a good idea. I’m gonna be cutting very close to your spinal column here. If you were to flinch..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t flinch,” Ronan said bluntly, cutting Beckett off mid nervous rant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll hold him steady if you want,” I said. Beckett nodded at me. I looked at Ronon who offered me a single, accepting nod. I leaned in closer and held him firmly in place. He radiated an insane amount of heat. Perhaps it was exposure to the sun on this planet, or he was just that ripped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ok,” Beckett said, flipping down his visor. “Here we go..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teyla held a tray of tools for him, one I was supposed to hold before I took up the job of emotional support amputee. I watched the gun he’d been holding this whole time waver as he got distracted, momentarily by the pain of Carson raw-dogging this op. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna meet my friend?” I asked and Ronon just looked at me. “Don’t give me that look, he’s harmless. I worked on his programming myself. Unfortunately he stowed away on this trip and he’s here with us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’d better be McKay you’re talking about,” Beckett said from behind me and I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But uh.. Don’t shoot him, I already did that when we first met and I think he still has PTSD,” I said and shook my shoulder a little, trying to coax him out from my hair. He scuttled down my arm and stopped, gripping onto my watch. “This.. is Micro.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a robot,” Ronon said. “An insect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The ancestors designed him, I found him,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does he have a different coloured leg because you shot the old one off?” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had a rough first meeting,” I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I’ve got it,” Beckett said. Seems my distraction had proved useful. Ronon looked back at the device before falling slightly forward, passing out. I held him steady, lowering him to the ground as Micro ran back up my arm to get out of my way with Ronon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teyla, you can probably radio John now,” I said and she nodded. I left Beckett to close and I took the device. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think you can disable it?” Beckett asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I can disable it, just hand me a damn rock,” I replied. “I’m trying to turn it off in a way we can get it back up and running again in case we need it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would we need it?” Beckett demanded. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Right, right..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard footsteps at the entrance to the cave and I didn’t bother looking up. I’d been a part of the Atlantis expedition long enough to recognise those footsteps. I finally managed to open it up when John leaned over my shoulder to look at what I was doing. I tried to sift through the internal wires, wondering which was what. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m quite certain I’ve removed the device without any complications to his central nervous system,” Beckett told John. I ignored them mostly, concentrating on disabling the tracker in a way I could turn it back on later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It may be too late,” Teyla said as she observed the body on the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know at least one Wraith tracked Ronon here, I’m gonna go look for McKay and Ford,” John said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Teyla agreed. “We will be fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now that the lion’s passed out cold,” Beckett told him. He paused, looking at me on the ground, working away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you?” John said and I ignored him at first, concentrating hard on moving this one particularly finacky wire out of a coil…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“GOT IT!” I yelled. I looked up at him. “I’m fine, device is dead, but I can turn it back on later if need be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excellent, then you can come with me,” he said. “I’ll pick you two up with the jumper as soon as…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard gunshots off in the distance, I didn’t need to look at John to know we were both running towards the sound. I could hear femanin wailing as well. Which probably meant that was McKay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help me! Help me!!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We ran through the forest at full pelt, fallen leaves and twigs crunching under foot. There was no concern for noise now someone had let off all those gunshots. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Colonel, Ronon has escaped. There was another entrance to the cave,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Teyla radioed and I sighed as we ran. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get back to the Jumper,” he told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We ran as fast as we could towards the sound of screaming. As we got closer we could hear gunfire and then grappling. By the time we got there some guy in our uniform was in a knife fight with Ronon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lieutenant! Don’t,” Sheppard commanded and I stood at the ready, holding my P90 out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was slightly amused by the sight of McKay hanging upside down in a red rubber suit, but I’d have to laugh about that later. I was also impressed that this Lieutenant simply did as Sheppard asked, looking like a naughty child being scolded by their father. He was pretty young. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hearing what sounded like mosquitoes on rocket fuel zoom by overhead, the Lieutenant took off in a run, abandoning the rest of us. Sheppard took off after him and I was going to follow but, not only did I not want to complicate the situation, I also didn’t want to leave McKay unarmed with this random guy we’d just met. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay, you alright?” I asked. He nodded frantically. “I’m going to try figure out where this rope’s coming from and cut you down, hang tight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I used the light attached to my P90 to search the area, walking off and leaving him with Ronon. I figured I was close enough to them both I could step in if needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi, it’s Dr Rodney McKay,” he said I heard the rubber suit make movement. I looked back out of the bushes I was squatting in to see him trying to shake hands. Ronon just looked at him and I laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The rope’s over here,” Ronon said after a long while of staring at him. Apparently McKay’s pathetic look had worked on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” I greeted and with his help, I managed to get Rodney down and we carefully headed back to the jumper.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Deprivation & Fatigue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, they were starting to sting I’d been awake so long. I knew if anyone caught me awake, especially after this long I’d be getting more than a stern lecture. I was almost mad I hadn’t made any progress. I’d been here for months and nothing. The robotic arm was still clunky, slow and virtually useless. It barely even existed as proof of concept. Maybe the Air Force had sent me here with this to trick me into giving up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought I might find you here,” I heard John say from behind me. I pulled off my magnifying glasses and set them down on the benchtop beside the arm. I blinked slowly, eyes readjusting. I looked up at him, frustrated look evident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” I said, sighing again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been up this time?” He asked and I shrugged. I honestly didn’t know, I just knew it’d been a while. “McKay mentioned at breakfast that you’d still been in the lab when he went to bed last night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just… I thought I would have made some progress by now,” I said, looking down at the hunk of junk below me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he nodded sympathetically. “But I don’t think you’re going to make any if you keep fighting sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve actually got a killer headache, at the very least I need to take a break, maybe get some coffee,” I said, bouncing the idea around in my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know coffee doesn’t actually make you any less tired,” he said and I nodded. “You need actual sleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put the tweezers I was holding down. He was right, I knew I needed sleep. O’Neill’s never were very good at giving up. I bit my lip, he’s right, I need to go to bed. I looked up at him again before nodding and pushing up off the bench, putting boots on the ground. I took a few steps before I felt a little dizzy and slowed down. I grabbed the bench I was walking past.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” he asked and I wanted to nod, say I was fine but I wasn’t so sure I was. I tried to take another step and wavered. John was quickly marching to my position and I took a step towards him, teetering towards the ground before falling straight down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, woah woah woah. Take it easy,” John said, catching me just before I hit the deck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you’re right, I should probably get some sleep,” I said, still staring in shock at the ground I almost ate. Guess I pushed it a little far this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” he asked me again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dizzy,” I answered, watching the world swirling around me. “Standing is proving difficult.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’m taking you to Beckett,” he said and then scooped me up with a frustrated groan. “You couldn’t have just gone to bed when McKay suggested it, could you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not really my style,” I replied with a shrug. I settled my head against his chest, eyes growing heavier by the second. He rounded the corner to the next corridor and I was barely conscious. Listening to the thumping of his heart as he took rhythmic step after step was quickly lulling me to sleep. Not that I needed much help in that department. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, now you’re sleeping?” he said, and I felt him shift to look down at me. I smiled to myself. I’d already closed my eyes, trying to shield them from the harsh light. I wanted to argue, tell him I was awake and just very tired but I couldn’t open my mouth. Moments later, I was out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beckett, I’m coming your way with O’Neill,” I radioed, sighing as I was stuck carrying an unconscious teammate. I wouldn’t have minded so much, if there was good reason for her to be unconscious, like say, injured off world in some kind of fight. But no, like McKay, Weir and Beckett, O’Neill had decided her most troublesome foe was sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What’s happened?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Beckett asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s been awake for days, McKay sent me to check on her after breakfast and just as I was coercing her into going to bed she collapsed,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Aye, you’d better bring her in then. I’ll make suitable preparations for her, I’ll meet you up here son,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> he said and I shifted her weight slightly in my arms as I reached the transporter room. I pressed the button and then relaxed her in my arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my god, what happened?” I heard McKay call as I passed him in the hall. “Is she alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were right, she did need sleep,” I shrugged and he followed me the rest of the way to the infirmary. I nodded at Beckett and he gestured to her usual room. The same place she’d been brought when she’d gotten attacked by that fish thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Put her here son,” Beckett instructed and I set her down softly on the bed. Beckett then went to untie her shoelaces and tuck her boots in a brown paper, possessions bag under her bed. I watched him tuck her in and he scanned her with a handheld scanner. “She’s dehydrated as well as severely fatigued. Did you manage to find out how long she’d been staving off sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She did say she had a headache,” I shrugged, not knowing how long it had been since she last slept, just that it had been long enough to worry McKay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, well I’m not surprised,” Beckett commented, hooking her up to an IV drip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think she’s slept since we got Ronon,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Christ, that’s nearly four days,” Beckett said. “No wonder she’s out cold. Rodney, don’t let her reach over two days again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is this my fault, I suggested she get some sleep every time I went to turn in,” he replied indignantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well clearly suggesting it isn't enough. You’re technically her superior when she’s in your lab, Rodney, you’re Chief Science Officer,” Beckett scolded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine fine, I’ll impose a bedtime,” he waved off. “Is she going to be alright or not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, wee darlin’s just tired,” Beckett said, smiling softly at my sleeping subordinate. “You can go now John, if you like. I’ll radio you when she wakes up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have anything to do today,” I told him and took the seat by her bed. I was staying put, I had the feeling if she woke up she’d be sneaking out and heading back to the lab, and I wasn’t about to let her do that. I wasn’t expecting, when her dad told me to look after her, that this would be part of the job description. But I suppose, no one out here really slept. I barely slept. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could hear light snoring beside me and I furrowed my brow. Had I fallen asleep in the lab again? No, Zelenka’s snores sounded different, much more annoying. These I did recognise though. I could hear beeping beside me too, it was quiet but it was the unmistakable sound of a heart rate monitor somewhere nearby. I blinked the sleep away from my eyes, seeing the dimmed lighting of a room in the medbay. I looked beside me to see John snoring away in the chair by my bedside. That’s right, I’d passed out on the way here. He’d come to check on me. Man, my head kind of hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see you’re awake then,” Beckett said, standing in the doorway. “And a good evening it is to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” I said softly, worried I’d wake John. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s been with you all day,” Beckett told me. “Took me long enough to kick Rodney out as well. You worried them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” I croaked. “What time is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“0400,” he told me and came over to scan me. “Your fluids are back up, are you thirsty?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, feels like I drank sand,” I told him and he laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, that’d be because you sleep with your mouth open, do you know that?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I usually sleep facing down actually,” I said. “I wonder if I’m drooling..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the more reason to sleep more often, find out,” he told me. “Are you hungry? Would you like me to send someone down to the mess for something? I imagine John’s probably starved ‘n all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t really want to wake him,” I said, shaking my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, because </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> sleep you value?” Beckett laughed. “Wake him, go to the mess and grab a bite and then go to bed. I’ll discharge you on those conditions. If you can’t sleep from now on I want you to come back here and I’ll prescribe you something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes dad,” I rolled my eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey now! I’m serious,” he said and I laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, alright,” I told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shook his head as he left the room, headed to go get my discharge papers in order. I reached my right hand over to John, touching his arm lightly. He swatted me away slightly but continued to sleep. I smiled to myself and shook him a little. He snapped awake and looked at me, annoyed at first before he realised what was going on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hey,” he said. “You want me to get Beckett?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was just here,” I told him. “He said I can leave if I go to the mess and then back to my quarters.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I imagine he told you to get some sleep also,” John said and I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something like that,” I replied. I pulled back the blankets and swung my legs over the side of the bed, reaching for the brown paper, personal belongings bag stored underneath. I pulled each boot on and struggled with the laces, as I did every morning. I glanced up to see John watching the process sympathetically. He held back though, knowing I needed to do this on my own, which was nice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once I eventually won the war against laces John escorted me to the mess and I grabbed a few bits and pieces to eat and had John snatch coffee out of my hands, switching it for juice instead. I laughed to myself as we sat at an empty table looking over the sea. It was kinda nice here at night, not a soul around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” I said eventually, still thinking about before. He shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t mention it,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, actually I mean before, not helping me with my shoelaces,” I explained. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful you took me to Beckett too but I hate this… just not being able to do even the simplest things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll figure things out,” he said and I nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I agreed. “Eventually, yes. When my Blackhawk went down I was sent back home for recovery, physical therapy, the works. I lived alone at the time and now my mom’s gone it wasn’t gonna work me doing everything alone so Dad helped me put stuff in storage, packed up and sold the place and I moved back in with him. I could see it eating him up inside. He’d snap occasionally, tying my hair up for me or doing my laces. I know he wanted me to recover, but I think when you’re a parent or someone you care about is going through something, you just wanna do it all for them, take away the source of their pain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I can’t imagine it would have been easy for him,” Sheppard said. “You said your mom’s gone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, she died when I was a teenager,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” John replied and I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not on you,” I told him. “You think we’re getting enough power? I know we have the ZPM now and we’ve got a fair amount of Naquadah generators but you think that’s enough?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess,” he shrugged. “We’d like enough power to run shields and the cloak at the same time but you can’t really do that without another ZPM.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay but what about all the stuff that sits dormant because we don’t have enough power to let them run? I bet I could get more power to the city,” I said, thinking about a new project. Atlantis had plenty of natural resources we could be exploiting for more power. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This isn't you avoiding sleep again, is it?” John asked and I laughed, shaking my head. “Good, well then tomorrow you can talk to Weir about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great, I’ll talk to her,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But after a job I want you to do,” he told me. “I’m going on an away mission tomorrow at 1300, I want you on my team.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure,” I agreed. “I can do that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great, now let's get to bed,” he said, getting up and taking both our trays. It was nearly 5.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Wildflowers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stayed in my quarters till 9am. I’d woken up again at 0730 having slept most of the previous day but I didn’t want another lecture or stern look from a superior. I hung out in the mess working away quietly on my tablet, drawing up designs for the new power sources and how I planned to implement them on Atlantis. I thought about the Alpha site and all the settlements under Atlantis’s domain and how useful it would be if they had functioning power systems but how we couldn’t spare a Naquadah generator even if we’d wanted to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” John greeted, sitting down beside me with a coffee cup. “You just get here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got here at 9,” I replied, not looking up from my tablet. He peeked over the side of my tablet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve certainly been busy,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Needed something to show Weir if I’m going to persuade her into letting me do this,” I shrugged, tapping away with my pen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ready for today?” he asked and I shrugged again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As I always am,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re going into Wraith territory again,” he explained. “We were just going to check on a settlement of people Teyla knew of but we’re getting reports there was a culling last night, so we need to be careful. We’re looking for survivors but just as there might be people left, there could also be Wraith around. I want you to let me know if you’re not ready for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t make a very good soldier if I wasn’t ready to engage in enemy territory, would I? These Wraith are different to my usual, human opposition, but I’m not worried. I either make the right call or suddenly, it’s not my problem anymore,” I told him, sketching up some components for the generator I was designing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew a guy who worked in EOD who had a very similar life philosophy,” Sheppard told me. “I know you don’t like being babied, but this isn’t about that, or your arm. These things are completely different to anything I’ve ever faced before. And I didn’t exactly do all that well the first time I came face to face with one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand,” I said with a sigh, looking up from my tablet. “I’m sorry, I’m not not taking this seriously, I’m just really focused on this.” I pushed my tablet over to him. “I can’t get anywhere with that robotic hunk of junk, I just want to feel like I’m making headway. I need to feel like I’ve done something, no matter what that may be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he nodded once. “Well, as long as you’re ready I’ll see you at 1130 for the briefing beforehand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you soon,” I gave him an awkward, right handed wave and went back to my tablet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I made my way to Elizabeth’s office past the control room and hopped over a seat, sitting down and smiling at her. She looked up from her tablet and gave me an amused smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John, something I can help you with?” she asked, I smiled sheepishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Actually, there kinda is,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well shoot,” she told me and gave me her full attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know how O’Neill was in the infirmary yesterday?” I asked. She nodded, looking concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you want me to override her being cleared for active duty? Is something wrong?” Elizabeth asked, jumping the gun. I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, nothing like that,” I told her. “I just, I found out why she was there. She’s not really getting anywhere with her arm and last night she came up with a new project idea so I’m gonna ask you to hear her out on this one. It seems like your kind of thing anyway, even if it’s a little redundant, but I think she needs to feel a sense of accomplishment on something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what that’s like. Some days here it feels like we’re making almost no progress and others it feels like we’ve taken a step back. I think everyone could use a little victory boost. Sure, I’ll give it an open mind. Any idea when she’s coming through?” Weir asked. I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was working on a presentation this morning, I think it’ll be some time after we get back,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A presentation? She must be serious, although I do hope it’s not going to be another one of McKay’s twenty page bullet point emails on why I should let him do something,” Elizabeth said and I laughed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think so, I saw her drawing up project designs so you’ll get a sense of what it’ll look like, O’Neill seems to have her head screwed on right so you should be fine,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, well if that’s everything, I’d better let you go. I think it’s almost time for your briefing,” Weir said, picking her tablet back up. I looked at the clock in the corner of her office and jumped up. It was 1125 and I had five minutes to get to the other side of the city.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crap,” I said and then turned on my heel. I called out an “I’ll see you when I get back,” over my shoulder and headed down to the nearest transporter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stepped through the wormhole and onto the dirt of the forrign world Sheppard had taken me to. I looked around, scanning the horizon for hostiles. So far, nothing. Once I’d deemed the place safe I was able to see the damage the Wraith had caused during their culling. In the distance, there was still smoke rising from the trees and burned out buildings. I’d forgotten, briefly, during the shenanigans that had taken place over the last month or so on Atlantis, that just because I had yet to see a Wraith, that this was still an active warzone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, O’Neill I want you to go with Cadman, Beckett and McKay, have an extra soldier with the Doctors,” Sheppard directed and I walked over to McKay giving him a light shove in the arm and he shoved me back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Circle around, see if you find anyone and remember, stay on your radios,” he said and I split off in the direction my team was ordered to search and patrol. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was kind of a somber atmosphere for a while, looking through all the tents and structures that up until last night held people. There was life here, and in the snap of fingers, it was extinguished. I looked up at McKay who, while looking almost as grim as I did, also looked incredibly annoyed. He never did like away missions. Cadman shot me a friendly smile and then went back to scanning the area. We were almost back before the mood lifted. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sheppard said over the radio. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m about ready to call this one. Doesn’t look like there are any survivors.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“The cullings are getting more and more intense,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Teyla commented. So this wasn’t usual..</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well, you said it yourself, too many Wraith woke up at the same time. Too many mouths to feed, or hands to feed,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> John replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re heading back to the gate. Meet you there?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Major Lorne said, changing the subject. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sounds like a plan. Beckett, O’Neill, anything on your end?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sheppard radioed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Negative, Colonel. We haven’t found anyone,” Beckett answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright, make your way back to the gate,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sheppard ordered and I looked around again. Still no sign of anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will do, Beckett out,” the good doctor signed off and we walked through an open field. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was crazy, to be walking through an open landscape as beautiful as this after what we’d just seen. The burnt homes, the craters from weapons blasts and then this. This beautiful, sunny field with drying out grass and wildflowers scattered everywhere. McKay looked relieved more than annoyed now, probably because we’d just been given the go ahead to go home. Seemed Cadman had perked up a little as well, as she was almost skipping through the field, kicking up grass under foot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, maybe you should pick some wildflowers from around here. I think she’d get a kick out of that,” Cadman said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” McKay demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve got a date tomorrow night with Katie Brown, right?” Cadman answered. A date? This was news. I grinned. McKay had a date. “She’s a botanist. She never gets to go off world.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I think that’d be sweet,” I agreed. “A little piece of your adventure, and who doesn’t want to be given flowers?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Someone with allergies,” McKay responded sullenly and I laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s this now?” Beckett asked, also getting in on the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing, nothing,” McKay waved off and I snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t seem like nothing,” I teased and he shot me a glare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a date, Rodney? With a woman?” Beckett said, snickering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is simply two adults sharing some friendly,” he paused. “Yes with a woman!” he said indignantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, she’s excited about it,” Cadman told him. “I’m not sure why, though…” I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How would you know?” McKay asked, clearly and hilariously annoyed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girls’ poker night. I know a lot of things, McKay,” Cadman told him and I chuckled. I needed to get myself invited to girls’ poker night, seemed like I was missing out. He looked to me for confirmation and I shrugged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t look at me, poker is a two handed sport,” I replied and Cadman snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can come if you want,” she told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m sure it’s none of your business. This is inappropriate field conversation,” McKay said ignoring my sub conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? I was just suggesting you might want to pick flowers,” Cadman defended and I reached down to pull a pick on from the ground and offered it to her. She chuckled and put it behind her ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, and maybe you should just do your job, which is to protect us..” he started and I heard that mosquito sound in the distance. I started looking around and Cadman did the same. So she’d noticed it too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” she told him, scanning the skies again, looking and listening for the sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up? Let me tell you something…” McKay started and I hit him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, stop speaking!” Cadman said and then Beckett and McKay heard the Dart as well. “Dart.” She pressed her radio. “We have a Dart incoming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I grabbed Beckett’s backpack straps just as Cadman shoved McKay forward and yelled out a “Move it!”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If it’s seen us, it’ll blow Atlantis’ cover,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sheppard said. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Anyone get a clear shot, you take it. Understand.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up to see the Dart overhead just in time for Cadman to yell “Scatter,” and shove Beckett to the side. I dove out of the way, throwing in some zig zags for good measure. I slid down a slight hill and turned back, seeing the Dart heading towards the other teams. I looked over to see Beckett in the dirt, also watching the enemy ship but no sign of McKay or Cadman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did they?” I asked and he nodded somberly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It is heading towards the gate,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard Teyla say before what sounded like the sound of a rocket propelled grenade go off. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“We damaged it, but it’s still on its way.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Beckett said, taking off in a run. “McKay and Cadman have beamed aboard that Dart.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We can’t rist the Dart making it back to the Hive ship,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sheppard radioed back and then I heard the sound of machine gun fire. I saw the Dart head back towards us with smoke pouring from one of it’s engines and I held my assault rifle steady, firing on it’s other one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh god,” I heard Beckett say as he spun around and ran back towards where I was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stopped firing when it got too close and started running towards it, throwing in some zig zags again, doing what I could to prevent it from snatching me up as well. Not that I imagined that was it’s priority anymore. The Marines Teyla and Sheppard were running towards me and I heard the sound of the Dart hitting the ground. I slid a little as I ran down the hill and stopped when I got to the bottom, turning to see Beckett beginning to sit up in the dirt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran at full pelt back towards the ship to see the cover open up and a Wraith struggling inside. I saw Beckett put a hand up to show he was no threat and shook my head. He wanted to be friends with the thing that stole our friends? I pulled my side arm and exhaled, pulling the trigger and firing a singular shot, instantly piercing the green and slimy skin of it’s head.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Sheppard asked when he reached my side and I nodded. Beckett spun on his heel and rounded on me, close to anger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell have you done?” Beckett demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shot him,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was reaching for the self-destruct,” Sheppard defended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s the only one that could get Cadman and McKay out!” Beckett yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I seriously doubt he’d oblige,” Sheppard continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we’ll never know now, will we?” Beckett argued. Sheppard showed clear annoyance on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She saved your life, and McKay and Cadman. If he’d blown the dart, there’d be no chance at all in getting them out,” Sheppard said. “And you don’t know that O’Neill can’t get them out right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is everyone alright?” Teyla asked, arriving with the rest of the marines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re fine,” Sheppard answered. “Hansen, radio Atlantis. I want Zelenka here ASAP. We’ve got a problem. Lorne, I want you to get the body out of the ship. O’Neill, you need a boost?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I confirmed, watching Lorne and another marine pulling the Wraith corpse out of the ship and Sheppard put his hands out for me to step on. I did and was launched into the air and grabbed onto the side of the ship with my arm and my prosthetic. I swung a leg over and sat in the solo seat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, do your best to figure this thing out, if not, we’ve got Zelenka coming with a team and we’ll take as much of this thing back with us to the city,” he told me and I pulled the tablet I had off my back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were some notes on Darts but nothing useful. Nothing about actually operating them. I knew a little Wraith, McKay had been making me learn, so I understood what was labeled inside here, what came up on the screen. I pressed a few buttons and the opaque cover of the ship came back over and Sheppard gave a “Woah,” from outside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you mean to do that?” He called. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I said and muttered a “kinda,” quietly after. I found a button that looked like it controlled the beaming mechanism but when I pressed the button it rejected me. “What? Why?” I demanded and pressed some more buttons. “Damn it,” I said and opened the cover again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s telling me it won’t do it,” I said. “Something’s damaged, the ship I’m assuming, and I can’t get it to bypass the safety protocols.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who knew the Wraith cared about safety,” he said and then reached out as I stood, to help me down from the ship. He held tightly to my waist as he guided me to the ground and then let me go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess they have to care a little more when all their tech is grossly living,” I said. “Still, it is surprising them showing regard to anything besides themselves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I headed to the blown open part of the ship, trying to see if I could figure out why it wouldn’t let me safely expel McKay and Cadman from it’s system. After thirty minutes of poking around, Zelenka and team showed up and I filled them in on what I’d done so far. He hooked some equipment up to the inside and the two of us tried to identify all the parts of the ship that worked into dematerialising and rematerialising people for later consumption. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another hour later and we were finally able to get us to show lifesigns inside. Unfortunately the ship couldn’t identify anything other than life so we had no way of knowing who was who. I muttered to myself as I made my way back to the cockpit, to see if I could boost or reconfigure anything to show more detail on the lifesigns. Sex, age, anything that could give us more information. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anything?” Zelenka called. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, since the ship’s engines are busted it’s got limited power and won’t let me use most of the systems. And I still haven’t been able to bypass anything. As it goes we’ve only got enough power for maybe one person.”</span>
</p><p><span>“Hovno.</span> <span>To opravdu není dobré,” he muttered and then walked over to speak to Beckett. The two argued for a moment before Beckett called over Sheppard. </span></p><p>
  <span>“Colonel!” Beckett said and Sheppard sighed, making his way over. We stood by the ship and some sparks started flying making Zelenka jump and try to scurry back. He looked around, like he had been periodically throughout the last hour. Jumpy little guy..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First time off world?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Zelenka replied nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if there were any more Wraith, they would have attacked us by now,” Sheppard told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Zelenka said, perking up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it makes you feel better,” he replied. He looked between the three of us. “Did you find what we want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, well, yes, but it’s very complex,” he said and I ran a hand over the back of my neck. I was nervous, and beginning to sweat under the sun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not going to like it,” I told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This interface controls the machine that dematerialises people, stores their information, and then rematerialises them again when commanded to,” Zelenka explained, pointing out all the pieces of tech we’d been able to identify. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great. Command it to,” Sheppard ordered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, I can’t,” Zelenka explained and he sighed and looked at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you?” he asked and I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From what we can tell, the materialiser is storing two life-signs,” Beckett told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” Zelenka agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which is good,” Sheppard said, waiting for the two morons in front of him to get to the point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but there is only enough power in the Dart’s energy cell to successfully rematerialise one of them,” Zelenka said. Sheppard looked at the computer and the two lifesigns we’d been able view. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Those safety protocols I couldn’t override earlier?” I said. “It’s to do with power. The Wraith ships when damaged are programmed to withhold enough power to self destruct which doesn’t leave us with much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, power to the dematerialiser has been completely severed, and emergency backup power is completely run down,” he explained. “So unless we can find a way to safely bypass the self destruct protocols, which is proving very difficult, we have limited options.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Sheppard said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you have to decide which one we are going to beam out,” Zelenka explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a terrible choice to have to make,” Beckett explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s easy, beam out Mckay. He’ll figure it out how to get Cadman free,” Sheppard said, thinking similarly to me. Beam McKay out because he was more vital to the mission. I liked Cadman, I wanted to save her as well, but if we couldn’t figure out how to beam anyone out after McKay, I’d have chosen to save him. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the choice we were making. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No, sorry. I was unclear,” Zelenka told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s no way of telling which is which,” Beckett said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s just going to be a gamble,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, they just read as lifesigns,” Zelenka said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Sheppard muttered, staring at the computer screen for a moment. “All right, that one. Go,” he said, pointing to one of the white dots. “Stand aside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone gave the ship a wide berth, I was close enough to be able to run in and help if needed but far enough away if anything happened I didn’t have to get caught up in it. Zelenka pushed a few buttons on the computer and the beam activated. McKay appeared in front of me and looked around startled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney, you okay?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm,” he whimpered and dropped. He fell forward towards me and I shoved him a little, taking the brunt of his fall and gently lowered him to the ground. I lay him steady and Beckett rushed over. He checked for McKay’s vitals.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His pulse is stable but I need to get him back to Atlantis,” Beckett said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teyla and Lorne, help the doc get back to the city with McKay. I’ll stay here with the others and try bring as much of the Dart back as possible,” Sheppard ordered. Teyla and Lorne came over and I helped them and Beckett get McKay into a standing position and then went back to the dart. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Multiplayer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was in the ass end of the ship when Sheppard came to check on our progress at getting Cadman out of the materialiser. Someone was above me, on the ladder scanning the cockpit of the ship, and one of the german scientists I hadn’t learned the name of yet was unplugging the materialiser via it’s long and slimy cable. There was another person directly behind me, holding a torch to provide us with light and covering his mouth with his free hand to combat the smell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh!” I heard the German woman exclaim, before tugging it free completely and muttering something in her native tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How’s it coming?” I heard John yell from outside and I ducked out from inside the engine and walked round the ship to see him speaking with Zelenka. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I didn’t realise when I signed up for this, that working on all this Alien tech would be so gross,” I commented and he chuckled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, the good news is we were able to stabilize her life sign signature. Now it’s just a question of getting the machine online again,” Zelenka explained, climbing down the ladder and no longer supervising the woman in the ship’s cockpit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great. How do we power it up?” Sheppard asked and I sighed. What I’d been doing when I was inside the ship’s engine, was trying to learn as much as I could about where our broken piece. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s the bad news,” Zelenka told him. “The machine uses a very specialised transformer to convert raw power into highly stable, very specific steam of power. Now, the transformer’s crucial in operating the machine safely and, uh.. it’s been damaged.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked up the box with all the broken pieces I’d salvaged. At the moment it was just twisted, charred metal and not much use of any kind. I’d been double checking I hadn’t missed anything and learning as much as I could about where and how it connects to the device. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t suppose there are any spares in the trunk?” Sheppard said and I sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Neill’s working on reverse engineering one,” he told him and Sheppard perked up immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” he said and then patted my shoulder. “Let me know the second you have something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was perched on a benchtop typing away on my tablet a good half hour later when Dr Weir, Dr Beckett and Colonel Sheppard came back in with an incredibly pissed off looking McKay. Great. What had we done wrong now? Keeping my head down I hurriedly scribble more designs for each piece of the part I was going to print hoping at least if I got this done I wouldn’t be in the firing line for one of his bouts of verbal abuse. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh nice work,” McKay said when he was shown the box full of broken transformer pieces. He picked up one of the broken pieces and glared at it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were running out of power. I knew hardly anything about the machine. Who would have thought this could be one of the side effects?” Zelenka asked and he was right. We’d never seen in our history before the melding of two different consciousnesses. Or at least not outside of fiction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So instead of waiting to understand what it was that you were doing you just sort of mashed on the keyboard, hoping something would happen?” McKay scolded and I leapt off the bench, marching over. The longer I worked here the more tired I grew of McKay verbally abusing people he didn’t find useful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now hang on just a second, McKay, we didn’t have the time,” I argued. “We’d been out there for a couple hours, how long were we supposed to mess around out there like sitting ducks for the next Wraith Dart to coming to find out where his buddy went?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The point, O’Neill, is you weren’t supposed to be messing around at all!” he lectured and I scowled at him. “You brought the Dart back here, after you got me out, you could have done that before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We didn’t know we could still save you if we didn’t try then,” I crossed my arms over my chest. “If we didn’t do something then we could have had neither of you come out of that thing. One is better than none.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re alive aren’t you?” Zelenka added in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re here. That’s the three of us plus your wonderful team behind you all working to figure this out. Just be grateful you’re not the one in Cadman’s position,” I said, turning the lecture around on him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They don’t know how to fix it,” McKay said and Zelenka and I exchanged a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” Zelenka asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Talking to her,” he said, pointing to his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve got this, Cadman, just hold tight,” I assured her, hoping that she was asking if we knew what to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you can hear her thoughts?” Dr Weir asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, not here thoughts, thank God. I can hear when she’s speaking, or when, I suppose, she’s trying to speak,” McKay explained and I nodded, at least they weren’t dealing with each other’s intrusive thoughts, it was just two people battling for the right to speak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure he should have been discharged from the infirmary, Carson?” Weir asked in follow up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“According to the MRI, he’s as healthy as he ever was,” Beckett replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we can’t all be track stars, now, can we?” McKay said indignantly and I smirked, raining an amused eyebrow. He pointed to his head again. “It was her again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe there’s something wrong an MRI wouldn’t pick up, if you know what I mean,” Sheppard suggested in a low voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not crazy, I just have another consciousness in my brain,” McKay argued and I laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds exactly like something a crazy person would say,” I said and Zelenka smiled at me. John covered his mouth with his hand, hiding a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he just looks crazy?” John asked, still grinning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure I do, but only because Dr Fumbles McStupid and his trusty sidekick Trigger Happy the Fake Scientist over here were in way over their heads,” McKay said and I bit back a snarl. I heard Zelenka let out a deep exhale. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Yes! I made a mistake trying to save </span>
  <em>
    <span>your </span>
  </em>
  <span>life! Now, do you want to try and fix it or do you want to continue to berate me some more?” Zelenka said, finally standing up for himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am perfectly capable of doing both at the same time. Now, I assume you’ve tried to run one of our own generators…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not as simple as that,” Zelenka said. “The trick is having to interface with the Wraith machine in real time. The power fluctuations are, are huge. If we overshoot just a little… we’re screwed up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay. I’m sure if maybe we can write an interface program that can take care of all…” McKay said and then paused like he had a headache. “Here's what I want us to try… We’ll take a, um… a naquadah generator… and um… and uh…” he said and I stepped forward, a little concerned my friend was clutching his forehead and couldn’t finish a sentence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“YES! WHAT?” He roared and I jumped. The room seemed just as startled as I was. I think I heard someone drop a tool in the background as well. “Well stop asking stupid questions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney?” Beckett tried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will get you out of here, okay? But just be a good little girlie and keep quiet,” McKay said and I was back to being angry. I stepped forward again, I hated the way he talked to people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you talk to her like that!” I pointed a finger aggressively out at him, he paid me no mind and went back to arguing with himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And do you have a degree in physics? Hmm? Well what about mechanical engineering?” he snapped and I folded my arms back over my middle. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney?” Dr Weir interected, trying to calm things down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?!” He roared and Dr Weir jerked back in shock, folding her arms over her chest she looked back at him unimpressed. She raised an eyebrow in challenge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry. I’m sorry. What? Please?” He said, calming down a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t we let Zelenka and O’Neill handle this?” Weir said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I’m fine,” McKay tried to argue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not,” Sheppard told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’d like you to talk to Dr. Heightmeyer,” Weir said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it would be more useful if I was to…” he started but was cut off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney, I’m not asking you,” she told him. He looked around the room at all the disgruntled subordinates and paused on my ‘if looks could kill’ face. He looked back at her and then relented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” he agreed. He marched quickly out of the hanger we were in and I was glad to see the back of him. I looked at Zelenka. He still looked a little upset. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” I asked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes I’m fine,” he agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, well I’m going to take five and come back,” I told him and he nodded, waving a hand at me dismissively. Then I also marched very quickly out of the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I just didn’t understand how he could go from that asshole on the ship to the awkward but friendly nerd who came to visit me in the medbay. He kept switching between the two and it was giving me whiplash. I might have to request more time on away missions so my time in the lab wouldn’t feel so heavy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I went back to my quarters and slumped down staring up at the ceiling. I understood how Rodney must be feeling. It couldn’t be easy having someone else inside his head with him, especially some he didn’t get along with, if earlier this afternoon was anything to go off of. But he was being such an asshole to everyone that was trying to help him. And worse, he was being so rude to Cadman who had no choice but to take it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran my hands over my face and decided I should get some dinner, maybe hit the gym and work some of this off. I could probably find someone to spar with. Or maybe I should do that in the opposite order. I changed into some active wear and sneakers before heading to the gym where I found Sheppard watching Ronon beat the crap out of some marines. I watched for a little while, watching as time and time again, Ronon came out on top, and various soldiers ended up on the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s try that again,” Sheppard said and the guys on the floor looked up frustratedly at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about you try that again.. Sir?” One said. I smiled to myself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, that’s quitter talk,” Sheppard said. “You don’t want to be seen giving up in front of Captain O’Neill, do you? Don’t you want to impress her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh uh,’’ another guy on the floor said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No more,” a third agreed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry O’Neill, I guess even your good looks and charm isn’t enough to spur these guys on,” Sheppard said, teasing the soldiers farther. I laughed. “Alright, maybe that’s enough for today,” he said to them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you here for?” Ronon asked, gesturing to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay’s winding me up, came to blow off steam, find a sparring partner,” I said and he smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll fight you,” he said. I smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure you will,” I replied. “But I have no desire to wind up like those guys,” I gestured to the sweaty and wounded marines. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go easy,” he offered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not too easy, I hope,” I replied and took a position in front of him on the mat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just enough,” he said and launched himself forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I threw up a block and he smiled, excited even. He swung an arm at me and I blocked that too. He pushed forward, using his superior weight and strength to push me back. I hooked a foot around his ankle and pulled it out from under. He caught himself, taking a step back rather than falling and then chuckled. I continued on the offensive and threw up a hit of my own, which he quickly and easily blocked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grabbed me and slammed me into the ground, luckily, the wind wasn’t knocked out of me, meaning I was able to grab his ankle as he was changing positions. With what was admittedly, some feat of strength, I managed to yank him off balance and onto the mat. I leapt up off the ground and took two steps back. He was quickly up after me and threw out a hit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before I knew it he had a grip on my chest and was slamming me into the mat again, this time with the air escaping my lungs, I thrust a fist forward and slammed it into his windpipe before he had opportunity to pull away. He coughed and clutched at his throat and I used my legs to pull his out from under him. He dropped forward on top of me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, using my hips to flip us. I leapt off him and scurried back a few steps, still gasping for breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Easily, he was up off the ground and grinning at me. He stepped forward throwing a hit out at me, I blocked. I moved forward and launched a hit of my own which he also blocked. And just like that, we were in a never ending dance, neither gaining or losing any territory. Every hit he threw I blocked every hit I threw he blocked. He was clearly bigger and stronger than me, and much more skilled. I held my own, but I couldn’t for much longer. I was lucky I’d lasted this long. I was impressed with myself, that I’d managed to resist him beating me into a small puddle on the ground. Maybe I hadn’t lost as much of myself as I thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See guys, that’s how it’s done,” Sheppard commented and I laughed, shaking my head. Ronon seemed to be enjoying himself as well. Using the momentary distraction, he tossed me over his shoulder and onto the mat. I stared up at the ceiling for a moment before tapping lightly on his arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m done,” I said, coughing lightly. He stood up off of me and then offered me a hand up. I took it gratefully and he hoisted me up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re good,” he told me and I nodded out of breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” I said. “But I know you went easy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not much,” he shrugged. “A few more sessions and I could have you kicking some serious ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll bet,” I replied. “Until then, I’m headed to the mess.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See ya, O’Neill,” Sheppard waved at me as I headed out the door and I smiled at him. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Sleepover Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was impressed, watching O’Neill block hit after hit. I knew she’d been highly skilled in combat before her accident, I’d read that much in her file, but to be able to hold her own against Ronon was something else. Even if he was going easy on her. I watched her walk out of the room, feeling more respect for her than I did previously, if it was possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew she was a good warrior,” Ronon commented and I shook myself out of my stupor. I looked back at him and he was grinning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on big guy, let’s get to the shooting range, you can show me how you do with guns,” I told him and he chuckled, shoving my shoulder lightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So long as you’re not too distracted,” he teased and I raised a brow at him. Distracted? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I headed to the lab after dinner, changing the configurations on our 3D printer so I could print the transformer for Zelenka. A few moments of whirring away and I crossed my arm over my chest, I was still a little annoyed at McKay. I heard gentle tapping across the bench and looked down at my side. Micro was making his way over and I offered him an arm to climb up. He made his way up to my shoulder and rested there, tapping me gently on the collar a few times. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright Micro,” I sighed. “Just a long day, is all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It tapped me on the shoulder again and I walked over to the printer and pulled out the still warm piece. I lifted my hand up to my little friend and he jumped onto my ready palm. I lowered my hand to the bench and looked at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m headed back to the hanger, are you coming or do you want to stay here,” I said and it tapped my palm. “Okay, but I warn you, McKay’s in a real mood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put him back on my shoulder and then carried the piece back to the hanger where I found McKay and Zelenka leaning over a computer together. They jerked their heads up when I cleared my throat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you finish the piece?” Zelenka asked and I held out a brand new transformer which should work exactly as the old one did. I placed it on the bench beside them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, let’s give this bad boy a try,” McKay said, walking over to the materialiser and slipping the piece into place. “We’re ready to try using the interface program we wrote.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sick, okay,” I nodded and perched on the corner of the desk they’d been working on. He looked at the German scientist from earlier and gestured for her attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Start her up, but slowly ease her into it,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no, no, no,” Zelenka argued. “Some of these calculations are not right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you just don’t understand them,” McKay replied, indignant as always. There was a small explosion in the Dart wreckage and sparks sprayed everywhere. A thick plume of smoke filled the room and the German scientist spoke agitatedly as another guy got the small fire under control with the extinguisher.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell happened?” McKay demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We started it up,” the German scientist replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said ‘Slowly ease her into it’!” McKay lectured and I rolled my eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was at three percent,” the German woman defended. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The power requirements are delicate, we should have run more simulations before we..” Zelenka said and McKay rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, yes! Twenty, twenty hindsight,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay you’re being rude again,” I told him. He waved me off dismissively. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t be here,” Zelenka told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry?” McKay asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m telling you, these calculations are wrong. Having two consciousnesses inside of a single brain must be very texting,” Zelenka said firmly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” McKay said and was cut off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re making mistakes,” Zelenka said. He held up a tablet for him and McKay scanned over the program again. “Now, leave before you do more harm than good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>McKay looked at me to step in, for someone to back him up and I shook my head. A quick glance at the tablet and Zelenka was right, he was making mistakes. And he was rude all the time. He needed to take a step back from this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctors always make the worst patients,” I told him. “You can’t be the one to fix this, McKay. Let Zelenka and I do this, we’re not going to let you down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded softly and walked out of the room, head hanging low. I felt bad but, he couldn’t be here. He was going to screw something, or hurt himself, and I didn’t want either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t stay up too late,” I told Zelenka, looking at the clock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re one to talk,” he pointed out and I laughed. “I’m not the one who put themselves in the medbay, am I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, which is why I’m heading to bed. Because if John catches me up any later than this I’ll get another one of his lectures,” I said and Zelenka laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He cares for you, you know,” Zelenka told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should hope so, I save his butt all the time,” I joked and shook my head, gesturing to the door with my thumb. “Goodnight, Zelenka.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked past the medbay, debating on whether or not I should talk to Beckett about him prescribing me something. I did feel pretty tired, but I had a lot swirling around in my head. I saw McKay run past me at full pelt and I raised an eyebrow and chased after him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay!” I called out and he stopped, turning on his heel. “Where’s the fire, I thought we sent you to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You uh, did,” he said kind of sheepishly. “McKay’s asleep, I’m Cadman. I usually run when I can’t sleep. Helps me wind down.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I imagine after today you’ve got a lot to be wound up about,” I said. “Hey, listen, I’m really sorry about how McKay’s been speaking to you..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why, he’s his own man. What comes out of his mouth is not your fault,” she said and I nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still, I don’t have to like it,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, me neither,” she agreed. “What are you doing up this late?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I couldn’t sleep either,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wanna come for a run with me?” she asked and I perked up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, that sounds fun,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rodney POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I blinked awake, wiping the drool from the corner of my mouth. I stretched a little before sitting up. I came face to face with a photo of a young woman in formal military wear standing beside what looked to be her parents. I stared back at my reflection in the picture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where am I?” I asked. I looked around and then looked down. I was naked.. At least it felt like it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are my clothes?” I asked and heard stirring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uhh… can’t we sleep just a little longer?” Cadman grumbled and I reached for my watch on the bedside table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is 2 in the afternoon. Where the hell are we?” I demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re in my room, your mattress sucks,” Cadman answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That is a prescription mattress. I need that for my back. Now, how the hell did we get here?” I defended. I liked my mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I walked here, while you were sleeping,” Cadman answered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was a lot easier to use your body when you were asleep,” she told me and I grumbled. I looked over to my side when I felt shifting and screamed. I saw the back of a woman’s head, blonde head of hair splayed over the pillow. The woman groaned at the sound of me screaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s O’Neill,” Cadman told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened last night?!” I demanded and O’Neill pushed herself up off the mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We went for a run and then had a sleepover, you psycho,” O’Neill answered, rubbing her face. “Cadman and I had fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aww, I had fun too,” Cadman replied in my head. “Tell her I had fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not telling her anything until you explain to me why I had a sleepover in your room, with my subordinate, without my pants,” McKay demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not wearing pants?” O’Neill demanded and sat up, climbing out from under the blankets to reveal she was in workout wear. I slowly listed the sheets to find I was still wearing my underwear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still have underwear on,” I told her and she raised a brow, crossing her arms over her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should hope so,” she warned me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pants, where are my pants?” I asked Cadman. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re over on the chair,” Cadman told me and O’Neill turned around, showing her back to me as I wrapped the sheet carefully around myself without looking so Cadman wouldn’t see either. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seen it,” Cadman told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have got to set some boundaries,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck you, McKay, you’re the one who stripped down!” O’Neill said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not you,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry about that. I’m kind of used to sleeping in the buff,” Cadman explained. “But since O’Neill was here I settled for underwear. Unless you’d have liked her to see it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay you’ve crossed a line here, Cadman,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guarantee it was more traumatic for me,” she replied and I winced as I made my way over to my pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are my legs burning?” I demanded and O’Neill chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told you, Cadman and I went for a run together last night,” O’Neill answered. “You’re kind of out of shape, McKay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, why in the world would you do that?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It helps me unwind,” the two women answered in sync. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay, this is very important. Did you ingest any citrus? I, I am, I’m deathly allergic to citrus,” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh on,” Cadman replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh oh?” I echoed and I heard snickering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney, look, I worked out, I came here and I went to bed. Jeez, loosen up,” Cadman replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay, you do know if she did ingest any citrus, you’d be dead by now, right?” O’Neil commented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t you start with me and all, I’m mad at you too!” I told her and she spun around, glaring at me indignantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Excuse me? What about!” she demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well.. uh.. a lot of things actually,” I told her. She shook her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just can’t with you,” she said, making her way to the door and storming out of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not very good with women, are you?” Cadman asked as she watched her go. I groaned. It was going to be a long day. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Last Ditch Epiphany</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh so someone decided to show themselves at work,” I heard as soon as I walked through the door. I looked up and saw Zelenka grinning at me, should have known he didn’t mean it. I smiled softly back at him and came over to start work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I had trouble sleeping again last night,” I told him and he nodded in understanding. I hopped up on the bench beside where he was working. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thankfully most of the leg work you did yesterday has paid off,” he told me. “We’re looking for some lab mice to run a test on, would you like to go and pick them up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, I can do that,” I replied. “You tell me where and when.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Captain, head to the transporter,” he told me and I hopped off the countertop. I walked through the transporter towards the lab we were keeping the mice in and it sparked an idea in me. I got back in time to find Zelenka running more simulations on his computer. I leaned over his shoulder to watch and that was how we spent the next few hours and into the night. It was after dinner when we started making real progress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zelenka you genius,” I commented as we started getting successful sim after successful sim. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I don’t know about that,” he said and I laughed. “Don’t let Dr McKay hear you call me that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll try not to,” I chuckled and he paged everyone to the room. I was playing with one of the test mice when John got there and smiled at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Didn’t see you in the mess today,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Slept late and then came here,” I shrugged. “McKay is such a defensive eater he’s got snacks hidden all over his work stations.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re eating my snacks!” I heard and saw him round the corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want them back?” I raised my brow and he glared at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put the mouse back in the plastic container and moved it over in front of the machine. Weir arrived and stood beside Sheppard who was looking on curiously as Zelenka showed McKay the work we’d been doing on his computer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been running simulations all day. I think we may finally have something. I was able to get the generator to run on a buffer loop, which tricks the Dart into taking only the power that it needs without overloading,” Zelenka explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the sims the last 45 to an hour have been yielding positive results,” I added and McKay perked up, scanning the screen one last time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mm. Great. Good thinking. Now, can we just see it?” McKay asked, pointing to the mice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anxious?” Weir asked, looking back at him from the machine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” McKay agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Zelenka said, pressing the button on his computer. “Firing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The materialiser mounted in front of the table fired a beam at the mice and just as planned they successfully disappeared from the box. I grinned. This was gonna work. The life signs showed up on the computer, proving they’d entered the machine successfully and alive. Now all we had to do was have the materialiser spit them back out again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, life signs holding steady. Now, rematerialisation initiated,” Zelenka narrated and I excitedly held my breath. He hit the button again and we all stared back in shock at the sight that greeted us. Smoke plumed from the box and the mice I’d just been playing with were tiny charred corpses. Did we do memorial services for lab mice?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, I’m no scientist, but those mice used to be a different colour,” Sheppard stated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is never going to end. I’m going to be stuck like this forever,” McKay whined and I sighed. I saw Zalenka pull his glasses and wipe his face, disappointed and stressed. I rested an elbow on his shoulder and put my head in my right hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand, the tests we ran worked perfectly,” I said and Zelenka sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we overshot,” he said and I nodded, lifting my head up off my hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably because we were guessing for people, not mice. But I’d rather we weren’t guessing at all,” I sighed. I lifted my elbow up off his shoulder and hopped up on the bench.  “I was thinking in the transporter it was a pity we didn’t have something of our technology to compare it to. If we just had something that also used beaming technology we could convert it to get Cadman back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is a pity,”  Zelenka agreed, and went back to the computer. I deflated a little. I could tell he didn’t really give me his full attention, he was almost dismissive. I felt bad, I wish there was more I could do to assist him but I knew virtually nothing about Ancient technology, or Wraith for that matter. I could work on almost any machine I’d told McKay on the Daedalus. I guess I’d meant any </span>
  <em>
    <span>Earth </span>
  </em>
  <span>machine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rodney POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat somberly in the bed Beckett had set me up in as I thought about what he and Heightmeyer had just told us. I’d thought this was just another set of shenanigans in the Pegasus galaxy, annoying but everything would eventually settle. I’d figure out how to get Cadman in her own body and we’d be right as rain again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to do this,” I told Cadman. Just out of earshot I could see Beckett and Heightmeyer discussing our options. Not that we had any. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I do, Rodney. It’s your body, and you’re not going to do it,” she argued. That spurred something in me, how did she know that? I could be selfless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, what makes you so sure?” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They need you here, and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m not as important as…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stop it. That’s not true,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Carson? I need something to write with,” she called out through my body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” I asked just as Beckett made his way over with a tablet and handed it to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to write a letter to my folks. I’d appreciate it if you delivered it yourself the next time you gate back to Earth, Rodney. Explain what happened,” she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m not quite sure when I’ll…” I started, and I had a lightbulb moment. The Gate! O’Neill had said it just a few hours ago and that idiot Zelenka had dismissed her. She’d been standing right in front of us all when she said it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I was thinking in the transporter it was a pity we didn’t have something of our own technology to compare to. If we just had something that also used beaming technology we could convert it to get Cadman back,” she said, swinging her legs a little as she sat on the bench. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, it is a pity,” he dismissed, ignoring her in favour of the computer. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“The gate. We can use the gate!” I told Cadman excitedly. “O’Neill said it herself, comparable technology. The gate dematerialises you as you step into it, sending your information to the next gate so it can rematerialise you on the other side.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We know that,” Cadman replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If we can take one of the crystal control modules from the gate and interface it with the Dart, we should be able to build a stable system,” I explained excitedly and started shoving us out of bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney, wait, I don’t think you’re in any condition to do this,” Beckett said, trying to stop me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have time to talk. I need to get this done before the next seizure,” I told him and climbed out of the bed, running off down the hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I rushed into the hanger with John and Weir. I stepped out for five minutes to go down the mess and eat some dinner and McKay decides to do a suicide run with gate crystals. I slid to a stop beside John who had captured McKay’s attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, about time,” McKay said, clapping his hands together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hold on, Rodney. I thought all the mice died,” John said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, what are we, mice or men?” McKay replied. I hoped he wasn’t thinking about what I’d said earlier, about the rematerialisation not working because we’d calculated it to work on people not mice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure about this?” Weir asked, clear concern spilling over her features. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Absolutely, yes,” McKay said softly. John, Zelenka and Beckett shared in my concern as well. I, as much as I complained about and yelled at him, actually quite liked McKay. If this didn’t work not only would he, my kind of friend, disappear but Cadman, my new sleepover buddy would be gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Weir said after we all exchanged more looks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just give me a sec,” McKay said, moving over to the target area for the beam. I started chewing on my knuckles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Laura, it’s been, um… unique,” he told her. “Good luck us both, hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, it’s ready,” Zelenka said, pressing a few buttons on the computer. He looked at the rest of us. “I suggest you take a step back,” he turned back to the computer, ready to initiate the final process. “All right.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>McKay raised a single finger in halt, and looked to the side to stare directly at Beckett. But I was unsure if it was him or Cadman that was holding us up. McKay walked over to Beckett and grabbed him by the lapels, tugging him forward into a deep kiss. My jaw dropped. I glanced away for a second to see Zelenka and John look disturbed, however all my Christmases had come at once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just in case this doesn’t work,” McKay said and I was pretty sure it was Cadman steering the ship at this point. “Oh… oh… just.. just hit it,” McKay then said and awkwardly stepped back into the target zone. I snorted and he looked up to glare at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zelenka hit the button and the ray activated, sucking away McKay in an instant. His computer beeped and Zelenka looked down momentarily. “Okay,” he said. “It’s reading as two life signs. Power levels are steady…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get ‘em out of there,” John ordered. Zelenka hit the button and two people rematerialised in the target zone, Cadman in her marine fatigues in the same position she’d been beamed up in and McKay who’d been in his bathrobe seconds earlier. The two bodies dropped instantly collapsing onto the ground. Beckett and team were down by their sides working on the immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get them to the infirmary,” Beckett ordered and I watched the team move them to stretchers and wheel them out of there. I sighed a breath of relief and leaned back against the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank god for that,” John said and I nodded. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Goldilocks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I sighed, scribbling down some more notes on my project. I knew I probably didn’t have to work this hard on my proposal and the idea I came up with was just a distraction from my arm nightmare, but the problem was, it was a good distraction. I was throwing all of myself into it. I checked the clock. I’d set a timer on my tablet to send myself to bed at a decent time. I had to be strict with myself lest I end up in the infirmary again. </p><p>I wasn’t always this bad, as far as I could remember. I liked tinkering, it was a hobby and the rest of the time I followed my daily routine of whatever was required of me on my Air Force base. I only became so hyper focused after my Blackhawk went down. And even then, it was only after I’d actually gotten out of bed and stopped sulking. I’d felt bad my dad had taken all his leave and spent it talking through my bedroom door at me. </p><p>“You’re up late,” John commented, sitting beside me with a coffee cup. </p><p>“Yeah yeah, I set myself a bedtime,” I said and he let out a breathy laugh. </p><p>“Still working on that power proposal?” he asked and I nodded. </p><p>“I kind of threw myself in head first to avoid doing what I was actually sent here for,” I explained and put the pen down. </p><p>“Did they give you a deadline?” John said and I shook my head. “Well then I wouldn’t worry about it. You’ve been her little over a month. And stop worrying about the proposal. Weir’s going to be all for it.”</p><p>“You think so?” I asked. I wasn’t so sure. With the naquadah generators and the ZPM what use would extra power really be? But you couldn’t always be sure that you’d have those. </p><p>“Yeah, I think at the very least she’ll be interested in what you have to say,” John nodded. </p><p>“Maybe I’ll stop by and see her before I turn in, she never sleeps either,” I suggested. </p><p>We chatted for a little while before my timer went off on my tablet and he laughed, not releasing I was serious about setting a bedtime. I wished him goodnight and then went up to the gateroom, deciding on checking in on Weir afterall. I walked through the control room towards her office and saw the lights on and her sitting at her desk with her tablet out. I knocked on the doorframe and she looked up. </p><p>“Dr O’Neill, I didn’t think I’d see you up so late,” she said with a smile. “Don’t let Beckett catch you.”</p><p>“Yeah everyone’s been pretty firm on the going to bed thing,” I laughed. “I hope I’m not disturbing you..”</p><p>“Not at all, would you like to sit?” She asked, offering me a chair across from her. I entered and sat down and she gave me her full attention putting down her tablet. I noticed she’d been playing solitaire. “What’s on your mind?”</p><p>“So, I think Atlantis has some unreached potential in relation to power. Yes, we have the ZPM and should anything happen we’ve got the naquadah backups but I’m concerned that’s not enough,” I explained. “We’ve got systems we’ve never even turned on in Atlantis, parts of the city never explored because we have to be really conscious about conserving power and what we use. We’ve also got the Alpha site to think about and the other settlements under our protection.”</p><p>“Right,” Weir nodded. “So what do you propose?”</p><p>“Well, we’re a floating city in the middle of an ocean with a tonne of natural resources just floating around us,” I replied. I pulled up my tablet and showed her the designs of the actual generators and turbines I’d designed. </p><p> “I’m thinking solar panels, wind generators, wave powered turbines. I don’t want to worry you about aesthetics or disrespecting the Ancients, it won't be obtrusive or an eyesore in any way. I’ve actually got some designs you can look over if you’d like,” I flicked through my tablet to the sketches of what the generators and solar panels would look like actually on Atlantis. “It’d mostly be on the city’s edges, tops of buildings. Nothing that would take away from the city. We can store the excess energy in batteries and have power whenever we need.”</p><p>“Sounds good,” she said, looking up from my tablet. </p><p>“What?” </p><p>“I said that sounds good,” she replied. I stared at her in shock. I’m not really sure why but I’d been expecting some resistance. Maybe not for to outright reject the idea but I wasn’t expecting it to be this easy. “You can design and even manage the install, if you’d like, so long as once the project on home soil is a success you design systems for the Alpha site and our settlements.”</p><p>“That easy?” I asked. </p><p>“Were you expecting me to say no?” Weir responded, looking amused. I shrugged. “O’Neill one of our constant issues in the city is managing power, as you identified. Our ZPM isn’t going to last forever. If you can find an alternative, especially with clean energy, I don’t have a problem with that. I am a little surprised however, that you’re suggesting this. I thought your interests aligned more with robotic and mechanical systems.”</p><p>“Well I mean these are mechanical… but I see your point,” I agreed. “I wanted to design robots with saw blades and lazers or mechanical limbs like I’d seen on TV when I was a teenager. But I’m older now, and I know that those kind of things aren’t always a reality, and hardly practical.”</p><p>Weir’s face softened when I brought up my old dreams. I loved the idea of cool technological advancements, fun robots and machines that helped people and did wild stuff. But we hadn’t come that far. </p><p>“How is your other assignment coming?” Weir asked me and I sighed. </p><p>“It’s not,” I explained. “I’ve been able to use our 3D printer to make a much lighter weight prosthetic so I can wear it for longer but in terms of technological advancements? I’m at a stalemate. The hunk of junk the Air Force sent me here with is impossible and yet, I can’t make any changes to it that would actually be fruitful. I don’t even know where to start or what to do. I’ve been driving myself crazy trying to figure out how to modify it and I’m getting nowhere.”</p><p>“Maybe that’s your problem,” Weir suggested. I looked up at her and cocked my head in confusion. She leaned over the desk at me a little, resting her crossed arms on the desk. “Instead of trying to improve upon someone else’s work, you could start from scratch. At the very least designing your own might spark some idea on how to improve the one you’ve been given.”</p><p>I nodded thoughtfully. I had been thinking about how to track muscle movement and using it to artificially control a limb. Effectively using the robot to learn different flexes and interpret them as various signals, similar to the one the brain would send if it was your biological arm. The robotic nightmare I’d been sent with attempted to do this, but it was slow, clunky, it’s power input wasn’t great enough for what it wanted to do and it couldn’t really interpret movement well. If I was to start from scratch maybe I could get it to do what I wanted. </p><p>“I know that look,” Weir said. “You’ve got a lot of ideas circling around in that head of yours. Don’t let me keep you, head to bed and start working on them first thing.”</p><p>“Of course, it’s taking all my self control not to go to the lab now,” I said and she chuckled.</p><p>I hurried down the hallway and just at the junction between my corridor and the one leading towards the lab I skidded to a halt. I should really be going to bed, I’d told everyone I would. But this was such a good idea. I needed to get these thoughts written down while I had the opportunity. You never knew when something was going to happen in the Pegasus galaxy. </p><p>“Couldn’t go to bed, could you?” I heard as soon as I skated through the door and I found John sitting in my office chair reading a copy of War and Peace, he’d barely even looked up from it.</p><p>“Guilty,” I laughed nervously. “Weir said something to me and I had to write it down..”</p><p>“Yeah, I figured things with her would go well. Alright, write it down,” he gestured to the notepad beside him.</p><p>“You’re not going to send me out?” I laughed. </p><p>“Nope,” he said, turning his page. “When I get tired, you’re going to bed and you’re not going to argue. Now hurry up, this book is really boring.”</p><p>I chuckled and grabbed a spare chair and pulled it over, hurriedly scribbling down my musings. I was rather surprised at how quickly I’d picked up writing with my non-dominant hand. Although you tend to learn to use both hands as good as each other and at the same time in the Air Force. </p><p>I worked away for about an hour before John nudged me. I shot him a pleading look and he smiled, shaking his head. </p><p>“You’re smart, even if you forget everything you’ve thought up today, you’ll figure it out again,” he told me. “So come on, you’re getting some sleep even if I have to stun you and lock you in the brig.”</p><p>“Fine,” I sighed. </p><p>I flopped down face first into my pillow and it’s not like I wasn’t tired, I was, I was just also used to fighting it. I had a lot of conversation going on upstairs, and it was hard to shut up. I sighed and thought about one of the techniques I’d been taught in basic. </p><p>It was difficult sometimes when touring or out on a forreign base, to get some sleep when shifts rotated, you were out on night missions or simply something loud was happening. So the military had developed a few techniques to get around this. A couple surefire ways to get to sleep in under 5 minutes. </p><p>I started by relaxing the muscles in my face, letting my jaw, tongue, eyelids, everything go slack. I dropped my shoulders as low as they’d go while I lay face down in my pillow, next my arms, starting at the top and following down to my hand. I breathed out deeply, and relaxed my torso muscles and then my legs down to my toes. Whole process took about a minute, minute and a half. I cleared my head of everything occupying it, which was more difficult than it sounded. </p><p>Now, the hammock or the canoe? I always went hammock. Who could do the canoe? As if anyone could fall asleep knowing they were relaxing in a canoe with clear blue skies above them and even more pure waters beneath. No, the hammock made much more sense. </p><p>I relaxed into the deep black, velvet hammock in the pitch black room. There wasn’t an ounce of light but I was weightless, surrounded by soft fabric. And with one last deep sigh, I was out. I know this, because the next thing I heard was my radio going off and John trying to get my attention. </p><p><em> “O’Neill are you dead?” </em> he asked. I reached for my radio and brought it over to my pillow, holding the button down. </p><p>“Huh? What?” I asked. </p><p><em> “Finally,” </em> John said and I groaned. </p><p>“Is somebody dying?” I asked. </p><p><em> “I thought you might of, I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for five minutes now,” </em> he replied. <em> “We’re going off world, you wanna come? I could use a copilot.” </em></p><p>“Sure,” I groaned. “I’m on my way.”</p><p>I pushed myself up out of bed and changed quickly into a new uniform and headed out to meet John to get geared up. He and the rest of the team were still zipping up their vests when I arrived so I sighed in relief. </p><p>“Have you considered scheduling me in advance instead of inviting me at random?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck when I arrived. </p><p>“Where’s the fun in that?” he grinned. “No, I like to give you the right to refuse if you think you can’t do something.”</p><p>“Well that’s nice, where’s that offer for me?” McKay sneered and I giggled. </p><p>“If he did that for you, cranky, you’d never go along,” I told him and he started muttering to himself about he would, just not ones that were dangerous or boring. </p><p>I followed the team to the Jumper bay and they took their usual spots in the jumper, leaving me to sit in the back. So much for co-pilot... I hopped up onto one of the semi-plush benches and leaned back on my elbows. I could hear John going through the usual checks and speaking with the control room and I pulled out some reading material from my bag. Might as well hang out till I’m needed. Usually takes a while to get where we’re going even in the Jumper. </p><p>I felt a surge as we jetted through the gate and we were launched out onto the latest planet in our database. I turned my page listening to the idle chatter of McKay and the others, not really bothering to keep up with the conversation, or engage any. It wasn’t often I flew somewhere where I wasn’t the one piloting. It was almost nice. </p><p>“Look familiar?” I heard John ask. </p><p>“No,” Ronon replied simply. </p><p>“Me either. I do not believe I have been to this planet before,” Teyla said. </p><p>“There’s no sign of any settlements, at least, nothing recent,” McKay said. </p><p>“Other than the smoke from that campfire,” Ronon said and I snorted. McKay looked back, glaring at me. </p><p>“Oh, yes, well, other than that,” he said. “Is that a magazine?”</p><p>“No, it’s a puppy,” I said, rolling my eyes. </p><p>“I’ll land within a few hundred yards,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“Awww, I was hoping for a mile long trek up hill in the rain,” I replied facetiously and I heard him grumbling from the front. </p><p>I closed my magazine and put it away in my bag, gearing up and preparing to leave when we landed. McKay came over to do the same and we smoothly landed in a small clearing by the many trees littering the area by the settlement. </p><p>We headed up towards the settlement, finding mostly shacks and rubble. There were tents and thatched huts and a smoking fire but no people. It actually looked like a warzone with bits of scrap metal just hanging around and it didn’t smell particularly great either. Yet another settlement destroyed by the Wraith I guess. </p><p>“It’s primitive, definitely primitive. Probably not even worth making contact. What is that smell?” McKay said. </p><p>“Hello?” I heard Sheppard call out. “Hello?”</p><p>“It appears they left in a hurry,” Teyla commented. Judging by the still burning fire and pot of food sitting on it, I’d say she was correct. </p><p>“Just not used to friendlies coming out of the gate,” John said. I watched Ronon head for the fire, I assumed to see if there was any way to tell how long it was burning or something. I shook my head as he reached for the spoon and brought it to his lips. </p><p>“What are you..” McKay started, watching him as I was. He grinned up at us from his spot squatting beside it. “Oh, my God, he’s tasting it! You don’t know what that is. That could be their laundry!”</p><p>“Yeah, I often find myself washing my clothes alongside potatoes,” I muttered and squatted beside Ronon. </p><p>“It’s pretty good,” Ronon said as he scooped up some more. He offered me some and I put the spoon to my lips, nodding as he was right. It wasn’t bad. Definitely better than anything Teyla had cooked for me. </p><p>“Oh, yes, good idea. And when you’re finished with their porridge, why don’t we try their beds, hmm?” McKay grumbled and I giggled. </p><p>“Want some?” He offered McKay. </p><p>“How good is it,” he asked, doing a 180 and hurrying over. </p><p>“Leave it be, Goldilocks,” Sheppard scolded and I stood up, smiling back at him sheepishly. I heard the sound of firing</p><p>“Get down!” Ronon called and shoved me into the dirt. A rush of arrows littered down on the ground around us and luckily no one seemed to be hit. “Ah!” spoke too soon. </p><p>“Take cover!” McKay yelled and we ducked behind some boulders and metal pieces. </p><p>From our hiding spots we could see attackers, some had slingshots and were firing something explosive at us. We returned fire and I managed to hit a few. My spot at the far end of the boulders we were hiding behind gave me a clear vantage point and I didn’t have to duck as much as the others did. I didn’t know if the enemy attackers just couldn’t see me or were going for the group as a whole.  </p><p>“What the hell’s in those slingshots?” Sheppard said through gritted teeth. </p><p>“Are you alright?” McKay asked as Ronon used my cover fire to inspect the arrow in his leg.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Ronon insisted and then snapped the back off the arrow so he could pull it out of his leg. How he had the strength to do that I’ll never know. “Ohh!”</p><p>“You know, this is not the way to make new friends!” Sheppard yelled out at the enemies. “But we’ll leave if you want us to!” There was a dull in the fighting, they’d silenced. “Let’s take that as a yes. Let’s go back to the Jumper. Teyla, you’re on point. I’ll take the six. McKay, help Ronon.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about me,” Ronon said and I used the site on my P90 to help scan for any movement and found nothing. </p><p>“I’m a worrier, let the man give you a hand,” Sheppard ordered. McKay ducked under Ronon’s armpit and helped him limp towards the Jumper. </p><p>“Fire!” Someone yelled and we were hit with a barrage of slingshot fire. We fired back until the sound of low flying aircraft sounded overhead. I raised an eyebrow and looked up. There was a large white craft hovering above us. The jetwash from the downward facing nozzles was blowing wildly around us. It knocked back a group of attackers and Sheppard used that as cover for us to escape. </p><p>“All right, move! Move!” He ordered and McKay and I helped Ronon into the jumper. I took Teyla’s spot in the copilot’s seat beside John to help get us out of there, while Teyla threw Ronon down in his. “Is everyone in one piece?”</p><p>“Yes, thanks to that ship,” Ronon said, trying to get up. </p><p>“Be still,” Teyla ordered and reached into the back for emergency field dressings.</p><p>“Yeah, I like their timing,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“No kidding. Did you see that thing?” McKay asked. </p><p>“Yeah, I saw that thing,” Sheppard agreed. It was impressive to have found another culture with technology comparable to ours. As if speaking about it made it appear, the other ship appeared in front of us. </p><p>“Unidentified ship, this is security vessel Poros,” they said over our radios. “Follow us immediately, and we will lead you to the city.”</p><p>“Understood, Poros. And thanks for the help back there,” Sheppard replied. He turned to us. “See, that’s how you make new friends.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Ragdoll</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>Once landed, we were led by a security force member through a very modern looking city until we were approached on a garden lined path by a tall brunette woman. She smiled fondly at us before putting her clipboard down and resting it in front of herself </p><p>“Welcome to Olesia, I am Marin,” she greeted and then gave us the bow of her people. I assume anyway, as the security members all did the same greeting when we exited the Jumper. </p><p>“I’m Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard,” he introduced and then pointed to each of us. “Tela Emmagen, Dr. Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex and Captain Evelyn O’Neill.”</p><p>“Please follow me,” Marin instructed and we trailed after her. </p><p>“Are you sure you’re alright?” McKay asked Ronon. He must have been wondering the same as I had. The arrow went through his leg and out the other side. Even the toughest soldier was bound to be in pain. But I suppose, Ronon was used to keeping calm and carrying on. </p><p>“I said I’m fine,” he grumbled and I elbowed him. </p><p>“Oh yeah? Well if you're such a big tough guy why don’t you prove it?” I said and he raised a brow. “Piggyback?” I reached my arms out and he laughed, throwing me over his shoulder instead and I squealed. I playfully beat on his back until he spun around and put me on the ground again. </p><p>“I told you two I was fine,” he said and then pushed further ahead, limping towards the building we were being escorted to. </p><p>“I sent a security detachment as soon as we detected your presence on the island. The prisoners there can be quite hostile,” Marin told us, smiling softly at Ronon and I’s antics. </p><p>“Yeah, we definitely got off on the wrong foot,” Sheppard replied. </p><p>“Prisoners?” Teyla asked. </p><p>“Yes, the island’s a penal colony. The prisoners usually don’t cause much trouble,” Marin explained, smiling. “As long as you don’t try to land there.”</p><p>“Well, you could put up a sign,” McKay joked and she grinned.</p><p>“The Stargate is on the island. Does this not affect your ability to trade with other worlds?” Teyal asked. </p><p>“Yes, of course. As a result, we have needed to be almost entirely self sufficient,” Marin said.</p><p>“Then why put a prison there?” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“I believe the Magistrate is better suited to answer these questions. He’s very eager to meet you,” Marin replied. Odd. </p><p>Once we made it to the Magistrate’s office I spent my time hanging around behind John and Teyla. There was something odd about this guy that I didn’t like. Maybe it was just because he was a born and raised politician.</p><p>“Your ship is a most intriguing design. I must admit, I’m surprised to find others in this galaxy whose technology rivals our own. Aside from the Wraith, I mean,” the Magistrate said. </p><p>“It’s funny, I was about to make the exact same comment,” McKay said, he had his arms resting ‘at ease’ behind his back.. </p><p>“Where do you come from,” the Magistrate asked. I watched John shift slightly, looking at the group beside him before swiftly covering. </p><p>“Until recently, Atlantis,” he answered. </p><p>“The ancestral city?” the Magistrate said. </p><p>“Yeah. Unfortunately, it was destroyed by the Wraith a short time ago,” Sheppard explained. </p><p>“How tragic..” the Magistrate responded.</p><p>“Yeah, we’re pretty broken up about it,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“We are part of a small group of people that were able to escape,” Teyla supplied. </p><p>“How fortunate for you,” the Magistrate said. </p><p>“Yes, yes. Very fortunate. Look, getting back to the technology thing. I’m just curious. How have you been able to make such advancements without the Wraith stepping in?” McKay asked. That was a good point. From the reports I’d read most societies here didn’t really pass the Victorian era. To find a city as advanced as ours was remarkable. </p><p>“The Wraith have chosen to leave us alone,” the Magistrate explained and I raised a brow. Sheppard looked beside him at Teyla and Ronon, as if trying to see if they could believe what the Magistrate had just said. I was having a hard time myself. </p><p>“Why?” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“I don't know,” the Magistrate said, and I didn’t believe him in the slightest. He knew, and I suspect it had something to do with the island full of prisoners right by the gate that had no DHD. </p><p>“They’ve never come here?” Ronon asked skeptically. </p><p>“The Wraith have been here many times,” said the Magistrate, beginning to pace in front of his desk. “but with the ancestral ring on the island, the Wraith have always been, uh… how shall I put this? Satiated with the prisoners living there. The Wraith have no need to venture any further.”</p><p>There it is. I soured immediately. They were fine because they happily sacrificed their convicts to the Wraith. I guess it’s a good thing they don’t have Geneva out here. These people might be playing civilised but they certainly lacked a humanitarian aspect of their culture. I saw McKay and Sheppard exchange a glance, they were thinking it too. McKay looked appalled, and Sheppard angry.</p><p>“Well, that would explain why you put the prison there,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“The island has been a penal colony for hundreds of years. It’s location there has benefited my people greatly,” the Magistrate responded. </p><p>“Not all your people,” John argued. </p><p>“I assure you, only the most violent criminals are sent there… as you discovered,” said the Magistrate. </p><p>“It’s a good crime deterrent,” Ronon said. </p><p>“Crime is virtually nonexistent on Olesia,” said the Magistrate. “Unlike the prisoners, we pride ourselves on being a most hospitable and civilised people.” I seriously doubted that. Classist snobs. “Come, let me give you a tour.” </p><p>Sheppard nodded once and we followed the Magistrate out of the room. The city was pretty, it was very green and had lots of beautiful gardens around, but I found myself having a hard time appreciating it when I knew these people were just letting other human beings be murdered by the Wraith to save their own skin. Regardless of if those people happened to be prisoners, it was wrong. </p><p>“This section of the city is devoted to scientific research. Our scientists have recently attained success in the enrichment of a fissionable, yet not radioactive, material to be used in generating power for the city,” the Magistrate told us. That could be pretty helpful for my project, in fact, it would probably blow my power project right out of the water. </p><p>“Fissionable yet nonradioactive? Well, that-that-that’s… is that even possible? What kind of material is it?” McKay asked.</p><p>“It’s an ore extracted from a mineral found on our planet. It’s quite volatile, yet yields great promise,” he told us. “I’d be very happy to show you the laboratory.”</p><p>“I’d be very happy to see it,” McKay replied. </p><p>“I’d be very happy to go back to our ship. Our people are due to check in with us in a little while over radio. I’ll have to get back within range,” Sheppard said. I also wanted to go home. And I was pretty sure I had an idea about that mineral ore the Magistrate was so proud of.</p><p>“You can link with one of our radio relay stations. There should be enough power to reach the island, if that’s your concern,” the Magistrate told us. </p><p>“So we’ll be speaking privately?” Sheppard asked. I doubted it. </p><p>“Of course,” the magistrate told us and I saw John and McKay look as skeptical as I felt. </p><p>He then had security officers escorte us to a reception room where they had prepared and laid out food. I watched Ronon and McKay examine the food while I perched on a chair halfway between them and John. I smiled to myself when I saw Ronon start to fill his pockets and McKay stuffing his face. </p><p><em> “And you believe they might be willing to share some of this mineral?” </em>Weir asked through the radio. </p><p>“Well, they seem open to it. They don’t get many trading opportunities coming through the gate,” Sheppard replied. </p><p><em> “Sounds promising,” </em> Weir replied. I still didn’t think we knew all we should about this mineral. They mentioned it was incredibly volatile. </p><p>“There is however, the minor moral hiccup of their form of capital punishment,” John said. </p><p>
  <em> “I’m sorry?”  </em>
</p><p>“They have an island, it’s like their own version of Alcatraz, where they send the worst criminals,” McKay explained, walking away from the food table and over towards John. </p><p>“Think Australia in the late 1700s,” I said and I heard her snort. </p><p>“And the gate is on the island so…” John tapered off. </p><p><em> “So the Wraith feed on the prisoners?” </em> </p><p>“Yep,” John said. </p><p>
  <em> “Talk about cruel and unusual punishment,”</em>
</p><p>"Yeah I think I'm really more of a firing squad girl myself," I replied<em>.</em></p><p>“I prefer lethal injection, although I do have a certain fondness for the electric chair. Call me a romantic,” McKay joked and Sheppard chuckled.</p><p>“The Wraith get what they want, and the Olesians get left alone. I’m surprised it works,” Ronon said, biting into a piece of food. </p><p>“He did, however, say that only the most violent criminals get send there, and that is has been this way for hundreds of years,” John assured, and I bit my lip. Something about this whole thing still seemed wrong. </p><p>“Do you kill all of your violent criminals on Earth?” Teyla asked and I scratched my ear and shot her a sheepish look. </p><p>“Certain countries, yes,” McKay said, looking at Sheppard. </p><p>“Do we need to get into this now right?” Sheppard asked. </p><p><em> “Well, we do if we plan on doing business with these people,” </em> Weir said. “ <em> I want to know more before I jump to any conclusions.” </em></p><p>We signed off and finished up in the reception room they’d set up for us. Heading back to the Magistrate’s office was the last thing I wanted to do, but sometimes doing uncomfortable things came with this job. I just didn’t realise it would be greasing palms with politicians. </p><p>“We were able to speak with our people, thank you,” Sheppard told him. </p><p>“Of course,” he replied. </p><p>“If you’re open to it, we’d like to discuss possible trade opportunities,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“We are <em> very </em>open. I’m sure there is much that we can learn from each other,” he said. </p><p>“Well, Dr Elizabeth Weir will be the one to begin official negotiations with you. That’s really her thing,” Sheppard told him. </p><p>“I’m looking forward to meeting her, and the start of a promising friendship,” the Magistrate said and eventually dismissed us. We made out way quickly back to the Jumper and got settled in. I climbed into the back of the Jumper and settled where I’d left my bag. We were over the water before I finally relaxed. </p><p>“Seriously, am I the only one creeped out by that guy?” McKay asked. </p><p>“Politicians, Rodney, they’re all creepy,” Sheppard dismissed. </p><p>“I wouldn’t say you’re the only one, O’Neill practically ran out of there,” Ronon chuckled. </p><p>“Something didn’t seem right,” I replied. “And about that mineral ore, I’ve been wondering if that’s what the prisoners used in those slingshots. The Magistrate did say it was incredibly volatile and could be found in the planet’s surface.”</p><p>“Magaret Thatcher wasn’t creepy. Okay, well, maybe a little. She resembled an aunt of mine, same hair style, facial structure, only my aunt was much taller and remarkably hirsute. Oddest thing, she had to shave twice a day,” McKay said, ignoring me. </p><p>“How would the prisoners have access to that kind of thing?” Sheppard asked.</p><p>“I mean, they weren’t always,” I shrugged. “I imagine they learned about it before trial and brought the knowledge there. I suppose it doesn't really matter, it’s not like we’ll be seeing them again.”</p><p>The Jumper gave a sudden lurch as something made contact with us and I was thrown forward a little. I pushed myself back up the seat, making for the seatbelts we’d installed and strapping myself in. </p><p>“What was that?” Teyla asked. </p><p>“They’re shooting at us,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“The prisoners?” Teyla replied. </p><p>“With what?” said McKay. </p><p>“Cloak the ship,” Ronon ordered. </p><p>“I can’t. We took some damage. We’ll be lucky to make it to the gate,” Sheppard explained and I took a deep breath. I made a point not to crash when I was a pilot and hadn’t had one since my Blackhawk went down. </p><p>“You’re okay,” I said to myself quietly. </p><p>“Well, how close are we?” McKay asked. </p><p>“Close enough to dial,” Sheppard said and I breathed out again. I was desperately trying to ignore what was happening in favour of focusing on my breathing. I could hear Teyla dialing and the ship lurched again. We took more damage and I could feel my stomach threatening to purge itself. I thought I was over it. I didn’t think I was this bad. </p><p>“That was close,” said Ronon. </p><p>“Get ready to send an IDC,” Sheppard said. We took another hit and we started losing altitude, descending immediately and very quickly towards the ground. “I’ve lost control systems. Hang on.”</p><p>I grabbed hold of the shelf above my head, bracing myself for impact before my fingers slipped and I was ragdolled forward on impact. I felt the air get knocked from my lungs and my chest burned. I let out a cough and stayed still for a moment, struggling to get my breath back. I tried to settle my breathing, I was okay. We’d crashed but I’d made it. I reached for my seatbelt release and stood on shaky legs. Walking forward, I turned towards the cockpit. Everyone was out. </p><p>I reached Ronon and put a hand on his shoulder. I checked his pulse, he had one. I shook a little as I walked forward, reaching for Teyla. I shook her a little and she groaned. She sat up and reached for her head, touching the blood. </p><p>“I am alright,” she told me and I nodded. I moved out of her way and she pushed herself up to a standing position, going over to see McKay. </p><p>“Oh..” Ronon groaned. </p><p>“Are you alright?” She asked. </p><p>“I think I chipped a tooth. Did I chip a tooth? Am I bleeding? Because I’m a high risk for endocarditis,” he said and I touched John’s shoulder, gently shaking him. He groaned, just as Teyla had. </p><p>“John?” Teyla asked. He winced, he seemed to have a little difficulty breathing, like he’d also been winder in the crash. </p><p>“That was, uh… not one of my better landings, sorry,” he said. </p><p>“The gate should still be active for a few minutes,” Ronon said.</p><p>“Alright, let’s go,” John agreed. </p><p>I helped him up and moved forward to the exit door of the Jumper. I reached for my pack and my rifle, getting ready to release the door. As soon as it opened I heard the sound of cheering prisoners and cocked my rifle, immediately letting off a few shots and knocking down the people running for me. Quickly, we were surrounded and Sheppard put an arm out, signalling to all of us that we were surrendering. </p><p>“Hi folks, I hope I didn't crash land on anybody,” Sheppard said as Ronon and I held our weapons up in surrender. I glanced behind me to see McKay and Teyla doing the same.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Olesian Obsession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stood in front of a large group of prisoners who were picking through our stuff like a kettle of vultures. Ronon, John and Teyla had already been stripped of their gear and taken inside a hut to be restrained, and I was currently being held by one of the prisoners as I watched McKay go through the same process. Torrell, as I’d learned, was their leader and he’d taken a special fancy to me. In what was probably the worst way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know you took out a lot of my men today,” he told me. I shrugged. He quirked a brow at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can apologise later but can only save lives now,” I said. The prisoner who was holding my tightened his hold on my arm he was bending behind my back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Save lives?” Torrell scoffed. “Who’s lives did you save?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My own, my friends,” I replied. “Or I would have, if we hadn’t surrendered.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a certain beauty in loyalty,” he told me. “And another entirely, in someone who’s not afraid to kill to get what they want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He approached just as McKay’s jacket was thrown on the ground and he was yanked away into the hut. It was just me left. I tried not to look at the dirty face of my criminal captor, the look he was giving me was almost predatory. He reached a hand forward, trailing a grubby finger down my jaw. I struggled against the hold of the prisoner I was in front of. Torrell reached for the zipper of my vest and yanked it down. The prisoner let me go long enough for it to be confiscated and then grabbed my wrists again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Torrell squatted in front of me and started giving me a pat down, looking for hidden weapons and he found most of them. Most. He looked almost impressed when he removed them all, I think he’d found more on me than he had Ronon. But that’s because Ronon was the weapon. When he stood again he was unbearably close. He looked down at my chest and smirked. He pressed down hard on the deep bruise that had been forming from the crash. The seatbelt might have saved me from flying forward, but it wasn’t without its own form of injuries. I winced, struggling to get back away from the source of pain and he chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You behave and you’ll be rewarded,” he told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I don’t?” I asked and he smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have ways of making you,” he shrugged and then with a flick of his wrist the prisoner who’d been holding me dragged me away into the hut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I was thrown on the ground by the broken bed and bound with a bamboo rod I didn’t realise I was shaking. I don’t know if my encounter with Torrell had done it or if I was still reeling from the crash. I took a deep breath, pushing aside what was going on in my mind, clearing myself of all thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Teyla asked and I took a moment before answering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I said nodding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It took longer for you to be brought here,” she told me and I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” I said. “I just had a fair amount on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked like he didn’t believe me but chose not to press right now. I leaned my head back against the bed frame I’d been tied to. I listened to what was going on outside, it sounded like they were playing with the automatic weapons they’d taken from us. That should be distraction enough for us to escape but if there were too many people milling about, we mightn’t be able to sneak away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is now a good time to escape?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any time is a good time to escape,” McKay scolded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you planning?” John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I can remove my arm,” I said. “I do so and I can get out of my restraints. I’ve got a knife hidden inside it, which they didn’t find. But I can’t tell if what’s going outside is good cover or going to get us caught.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me worry about that,” he said. “Try it if you think you can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wiggled my arms a little bit, loosening the seal on my ‘realistic’ arm. I was glad I’d worn it today, despite hating it so much. I thought missing an arm might worry certain people if we’d met with a less advanced community. On Earth much earlier in our timeline, missing limbs usually meant treason or criminal activity, and I didn’t know what the cultural connotations were here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I grunted as I felt the suction pop as my arm disconnected and it hit the ground. I moved my elbow stump over the bamboo bar I was tied to and used my outstretched legs to pick up and move my prosthetic to the reach of my human fingers. I looked up as I wrapped my fingers around the handle of a knife and the others looked impressed. I smirked and cut the bindings of my wrist. I nicked the skin lightly, but it wasn’t bad and I was also free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I crawled over to the others just as the door flew open. Knowing I didn’t have much time I slashed the bindings of John’s wrists and felt someone grab the scruff of my neck and yank me back. I swore and struggled against the hold of whoever had grabbed me and looked up to see Torrell’s amused face. He’d walked in the door just after I’d been grabbed and we practically bounced over to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you might have another trick up your sleeve,” he said and then laughed. “Or should I say knife in your arm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should know our people are expecting us. If we don’t show up soon, they’ll come looking for us,” Sheppard told Torrell as someone came in to tie him up again. I soured as Torrell smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, is that supposed to concern me?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t go getting all full of yourself, chief. A few cannons are nomatch for the kind of firepower they’ll be bringing with them. Although… I should compliment whoever took that first shot. It was a good one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, was nice, wasn’t it?” Torrell said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want from us?” Teyla demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we’ve already got your weapons,” Torrell replied. “Now I do believe we’ll take your ship. You see, we had been planning a little trip to the mainland but after seeing you fly that thing through the ancestral ring..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re referring to the ship you just shot down? The one that doesn’t stand a hope in hell of ever flying again?” McKay asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The ship that you’re going to fix, yes,” Torrell replied simply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who am I, MacGyver? Fix it with what?” he demanded and I smiled, trying to stop my mind from wandering to my dad and how I always thought the two held a striking resemblance. Torrell gestured to another prisoner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get him up,” Torrell ordered and McKay was yanked to his feet, released from some of his bindings. “You seem like a smart man. I’m sure you’ll think of something. Maybe all you need is a little motivation.” He produced Ronon’s gun and fired a blast just past McKay’s head, leaving a giant hole in the side of the shack. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should think about fixing it, Rodney,” Sheppard said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good idea,” McKay breathed, shocked he’d almost had his head blown up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My friends all tell me I have a remarkable gift for persuasion,” Torrell joked and a prisoner finished untying McKay and dragged him out of the hut. He turned to me and got closer. “Now you,” he said and I shook a little. “I thought I told you to behave?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He paused, seemingly looking for a response. I didn’t have anything to say. He nodded to himself. He gripped my jaw and I tried to tug it out of his grasp but couldn’t because I was being held in place by his friend. He shoved the gun into my, now much darker, bruise. I let out a small cry before I could stop myself and he smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you have any other weapons on you?” he asked, glee sparking in his eye. I shook my head. “Good. Now, are you going to be a good little girl and stay put this time?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I glared at him. He pulled Ronon’s gun away and stowed it by his hip. He stepped back a single step and gestured for the guard to let me go. I didn’t have time before I was suddenly overcome by a burning pain in my jaw and hit the hard, wooden floor. I went to shoot up, to grab his legs and yank them out from under him, to do something, anything, when a boot collided with my stomach. I let out a gasping cough, for the second time today the wind had been knocked out of me. I writhed on the ground as I tried to push myself up. He kicked me onto my back and then pressed a boot firmly down on my chest. My black, uniformed shit had burst open and he was now getting mud all over my chest and grey tank. He pressed down just hard enough to cause the seatbelt bruise on my chest to ache. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think you would,” he said. “That’s not your style is it? Tie her up, just there. That should teach her a lesson for now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two guys hoisted me up off the ground and threw me on the broken down bed and started tying each limb individually to the frame so even if I wanted to escape, there wouldn’t be a way to wriggle free. He walked out the door and was shortly followed by the rest of his convict cronies and I was left coughing on the straw mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Sheppard asked and I nodded. I groaned with the movement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He seems to have an odd fascination with you, Captain,” Teyla commented. “Are you sure nothing happened earlier?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was a little...excited.. I guess, that I uh.. took out so many of his men,” I replied. “He said if I behaved I’d be rewarded, I didn’t fancy sticking around to find out how.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Sheppard said. “Well, we won’t then. We’re getting out of here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I tried to relax as I was tied there, figuring if I did, I might be able to save a bit of strength for when the others managed to get free and we could escape. I was in too much pain to really fight against the restraints, even if I could. I wondered if Torrell had known the whole time my arm was fake, he did get pretty close to it, I hadn’t thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of the corner of my eye I could see all of the others eagerly struggling against their restraints but it seemed it was to no avail. I could see their wrists start to change colour, bruising as the restraints tightened around their wrists. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyone having any luck?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These bindings are very secure,” Teyla said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, leave it to convicts to know the best way to tie people up,” Sheppard said and I laughed. I immediately winced due to the pain in my chest, I wondered if I'd cracked a rib, he did kick me hard enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, eventually I will get free and when I do, he’s going to pay for this,” Ronon said, seething. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, listen to me. When you get free, you get us free, and we all get out of here,” John warned. “Let ‘em find out we’re gone </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>we’re gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You expect me to let them get away with this?” Ronon asked, nodding towards me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The operative words are ‘get away’,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After I kill him,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That type of thing will get </span>
  <em>
    <span>us </span>
  </em>
  <span>killed,” John told him. And I agreed. As mad as I was, I’d rather just go home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you would've just returned fire..” Ronon started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The weapons systems were damaged,” John replied bitterly. I could see he was starting to get annoyed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you say so,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do say so, and right now, I’m saying knock it off,” Sheppard said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that an order, Sheppard?” Ronon asked, indignantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am beat up, tied up, and couldn’t order a pizza right now if I wanted to, but if you need it to be, yeah, it’s an order,” John said sternly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” Ronon replied calmly. Sheppard gave Ronon a look of certain amazement. How he’d just switched like that. I almost wanted to laugh. I wiggled my wrist, yep. As I thought, really tight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t take this the wrong way but, I kinda wished I’d just stayed in bed today,” I said and Ronon laughed a little. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least you’re in bed now,” he replied and I chuckled, wincing again. Yeah, my ribs definitely felt cracked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good, I think I cracked my ribs,” I said. “Beckett’s always pretty strict on bedrest for those kinds of things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rodney POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is no power getting to any of these controls, you understand?” I told Torrell frustratedly, walking towards the back of the Puddle Jumper and pointed to the overhead compartment for control crystals. “Look, nothing!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Torrell replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me go out on a limb here and say that maybe it had something to do with the crash. Which, of course, begs the question, how in the hell did you get your hands on explosives?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eldon made them,” Torrell said as he leaned leisurely against the divider between the back compartment and the front of the ship. He turned away toward the window to look out it. “He fashioned them out of minerals and materials he found around the island. Crude, yes, but effective. We shot you down, didn’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>O’Neill had said something about that on the way home. I wished I’d listened to her instead of talking about Margaret Thatcher. The Magistrate had even said the ore was very volatile if handled incorrectly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eldon? Who is Eldon?” I asked. A cross eyed man walked up the ramp onto the Jumper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That would be me,” Eldon replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a prisoner?” I said, turning to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was accused of killing one man,” Eldon answered before Torrell butted in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s a scientist,” Torrell told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a case of mistaken identity,” Eldon explained and I internally rolled my eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell you what, Eldon. You can tell him your whole life story. Just help him fix the ship,” Torrell said finally. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, I don’t know what you expect me to do. I don’t have any of the proper diagnostic tools, not to mention the fact that…” I tried to argue but was once again cut off. Torrell was making talking gestures at me with his hand, the same kind I bet O’Neill would have slapped him for if she was here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll figure it out,” Torrell told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if I don’t?” I challenged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I could kill you. But you strike me as the type of man who, despite being weak and cowardly on the outside, harbours a strength of character he doesn’t even know he has,” Torrell told me and I was taken aback. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, was there a compliment in there?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See, the way to motivate a man like you, Mr McKay, not to threaten your life. It’s to threaten the lives of your friends,” he explained and I frowned. “That’s right. Fix the ship. Otherwise, they start dying, one after another until you change your mind or until they’re all dead. I don’t care.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wouldn’t,” I said, challenging him again. I wondered if O’Neill would be proud of me for standing up for myself, being brave. I did worry though, he was a violent criminal in a penal colony.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would, Mr McKay,” he replied. “Don’t worry though, I won’t kill all of your friends, at least not right away. In fact, if you don’t start working, I’ll go and pay your friend O’Neill a visit. Plenty of things I can do to her alive that’ll be enough to persuade you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I relented. He had spent an awful long time out of the hut with her before she was brought in to be tied up. I could only imagine what he was doing inside when I was first escorted away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The technology on this ship is far more advanced than the Olesians’,” Eldon told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How ironic, then, to have been shot down by the cast of Braveheart,” I remarked, trying to concentrate on fixing the ship, lest something awful happen to my friend. I couldn’t forgive myself if I let something happen. I turned to him to see he’d removed a control crystal and snatched it back from his grubby paws. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m surprised we were able to shoot you down,” Eldon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s the old low tech versus high tech argument, I suppose,” I replied, trying to concentrate but having little luck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve been working on those weapons for years,” Eldon said. He was clearly fighting a stutter with every sentence he spoke, which made me wonder how this wimp had supposedly killed someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, well, well done. Good for them, huh? Now, are you going to continue talking or, uh..” he silenced himself and blinked at me. I nodded. “Thank you.” I saw him out of the corner of my eye pick up another control crystal and hold it up to his face to study it. I sighed internally and snatched that one back as well. “Oh.. give me that. See, where did that come from?”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Narrow Escape</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>After a few hours the door to the hut burst open and Torrell forced McKay inside followed by a dweeby looking guy in an old aviator’s hat and then a small collection of prisoners. I recognised one as the guy who’d pinned me earlier. </p><p>“Choose,” Torrell said. </p><p>“Choose what?” McKay demanded. </p><p>“Which one of them dies first,” Torrell said. “Do it.”</p><p>McKay looked back between everyone tied up on that side of the room, I could only see the back of his head but I’m assuming he was horrified. </p><p>“I can’t do that,” he said. </p><p>“Well, then, I’ll choose for you. Either way, one of them dies. Unless of course you’d rather I spend some time with your little friend, O’Neill, while you reconsider fixing that ship,” Torrell explained and I suddenly started fighting my restraints. I did not like the sound of that. I’d rather McKay pick me to die first. </p><p>“Well, I’m sorry, but there are some things beyond my capability,” he replied and I fought harder. </p><p>“I don’t believe you,” Torrell said. </p><p>“Well, I know it’s hard to believe, but..” he said and was cut off. </p><p>“No. I think you’re lying,” Torrell said and he’d better be wrong. Or McKay wasn’t going to have to wait for Torrell to kill him, somehow I would. </p><p>“I’m not. It’s broken. You don’t understand ‘broken’?” McKay replied. Yes, please McKay, please antagonise the man threatening us all. </p><p>“I know your type. You whine, and you complain, and you see to it that your every task is viewed as some impossible achievement so that when you do succeed, your gargantuan efforts are viewed as all the more heroic,” Torrell explained and that did seem like McKay. I could see Sheppard glaring at him, thinking the same, no doubt. </p><p>“You are asking me to do the impossible,” McKay said.</p><p>“Your friends’ lives are in your hands,” he said, pointing to the others. “I’ll give you some time to choose,” he turned to leave and stopped by my bedside, stroking my face before he left. One of the prisoners forced McKay down to the floor and tied him down. </p><p>“Listen to him, McKay. He’s killed 11 people. Eight before he was sent here and three since he’s been on the island,” the dweeby guy said. </p><p>“That’s 11, huh? You’ve got some catching up to do, don’t you?” McKay said before turning to Sheppard. “He’s only killed one.”</p><p>“Who, him?” Sheppard asked. It was doubtful this guy with a stutter and crossed eyes was much of a threat. </p><p>“I told you, I’m here because of a mistake,” the guy replied. </p><p>“I’m sure everyone here on this island says that,” Ronon commented. </p><p>“Well as a matter of fact, some of us <em> are </em>innocent. Only a few, like Torrell, are actual murderers,” he explained and I soured. </p><p>“You mean, they put all their criminals here, regardless of the crimes they commit?” Teylas asked, shocked. </p><p>“Once, only the worst of the worst were sent here. But the punishment proved to be such a successful deterrent that crime rates in olesia plummeted, which meant fewer and fewer prisoners,” the guy explained and I sighed. I thought something seemed fishy here. </p><p>“Less food for the Wraith,” Teyla said and Eldon nodded. </p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>“So they lowered the bar,” Sheppard continued and I fought against my own restraint harder. </p><p>The guy left then, leaving us with McKay and his impending decision. Was it selfish of me to hope McKay chose someone? I didn’t want my friends to die but at the same time, I also didn’t want what Torrell was threatening to do to me. Unless that was purely a psychological game to get McKay in line. </p><p>“It’s really broken, right, McKay?” I asked after a while of staring at the ceiling. </p><p>“Yes, it’s really broken!” he yelled and I nodded, biting my lip. My fate seemed pretty sealed then. I heard Ronon struggle harder. </p><p>“I think they're loosening,” Ronon said, pulling on his restraints. I could see his wrists bleeding and I felt bad. </p><p>“Take it easy, Chewie. You're going to cut your damn hands off,” John warned. </p><p>“The more we struggle, the tighter the bindings get,” Teyla explained and I sighed. A panel at the back of the shack opened up and the guy from earlier slid in. He looked between us all and held up a knife.</p><p>“You need something like this,” he said. </p><p>“What about the guards?” McKay asked. </p><p>“They stepped away. No one's watching,” the guy explained.</p><p>“Will you help us?” Teyla asked, staring him down. I’d say given the fact he’d snuck in here with a knife was evidence enough that he would. Unless he really was a killer and this was how he did it the first time. </p><p>“If you'll help me,” he replied.</p><p>“How?” John demanded.</p><p>“Fix the ship. Let me leave with you,” he said and I saw McKay roll his eyes. </p><p>“Oh, for God's sake, how many times do I have to tell you..” he started but was cut off by the dweeb. He turned desperately to him and John looked at McKay with worried eyes.</p><p>“I know you could do it. I could see it in your eyes when you were working. You were holding something back from us,” he said.</p><p>“Rodney?” John threatened. </p><p>“Nobody could fix it. I don't care who you think I am, or what you think you saw in my eyes, but it is totally, completely impossible,” McKay said bluntly.</p><p>“Torrell and his men are going to return soon,” the guy said.</p><p>“He'll fix it,” Sheppard confirmed for him.</p><p>“I just said I couldn't,” McKay argued. </p><p>“You really suck at lying, Rodney,” Sheppard scolded before turning back at the stuttery aviator. “We have a deal.”</p><p>“There is one slight possibility,” McKay said and I let out a frustrated sob.</p><p>“Rodney,” I cried out.</p><p>“Huh? See?” Sheppard said to the guy, nodding with him.</p><p>“I won't actually be able to fix the ship to fly out of here, but I might be able to cobble together enough power from secondary systems to activate the DHD. That way, we can dial the gate and leave on foot. When I say "might," I mean probably not. It's a long shot at best. I'd have to bypass the main power distribution conduit,” McKay explained.</p><p>“Get us out of here,” Sheppard argued. The guy cut Ronon free first and Ronon grabbed the knife off of him and held it to his throat. I let out a groan, I was never getting out of here.</p><p>“Ronon, what are you doing?” McKay gasped desperately. </p><p>“Give me one reason why I shouldn't cut your throat,” Ronon demanded.</p><p>“For one, it would make a mess. Look, we made a deal. Just let him go,” Sheppard ordered and I struggled with my restraints, giving up on any hope of a rescue. To my surprise, Ronon let him go, launching him onto the floor and cutting the collar around his own neck. He stood and quickly got to work on the others.</p><p>“Careful, careful,” McKay said when Ronon got up to him and I sighed.</p><p>“Suck it up!” Ronon said before coming over with John to free me. With my restraints undone, John sat me up and Ronon handed me back my arm and I slipped it on. John helped me over to the hole in the wall and I was pretty sure by now, there was something wrong with my ribs. It burned when I bent over and I held in a cough. </p><p>We snuck through the woods, guided by the guy and John before we crouched. It was odd, the most difficult part of our escape was McKay. I clutched my chest in agony as we stopped and Sheppard put a hand on my shoulder. </p><p>“Why are we stopping?” Ronon demanded. </p><p>“This is way too easy. All right, stay close and,” he paused, looking at McKay. “stay quiet.”</p><p>“What? Why does he say that to me?” Rodney exclaimed loudly. </p><p>“Shhh!” Teyla scolded and I smiled to myself, despite the burning pain in my ribs. </p><p>We jogged through the forest further and I clutched my torso, I felt like crying it hurt so bad. I had a decent tolerance for pain but this hurt more than last time. Though I suppose last time I cracked a rib I was heavily medicated through most of the recovery, and I was busy fighting off weird fish enzymes in my leg.  </p><p>We stopped just in sight of the Jumper, no one was guarding it. We paused, why not? Peering through the nearby woods on the other side of the clearing we could see arches concealing themselves. That was why. </p><p>“I didn’t know anything about this, I swear,” the guy defended. </p><p>“We will never be able to make it to the Jumper. They have our weapons,” Teyla said. </p><p>“We don’t need weapons,” Ronon said confidently. </p><p>“How about the fact that they seriously outnumber us?” McKay reasoned. </p><p>“At least we’ve got the element of surprise,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“I was beginning to think you were afraid to fight,” Ronon said approvingly. </p><p>“No, I’m just naturally lazy, but I will if I have to. And it’s starting to look like I have to,” he said and then turned to McKay. “How much time do you need to rework the DHD?”</p><p>“Well, in a perfect world, two days,” he said and I reached over and smacked him. “Ow!”</p><p>“Rodney,” Sheppard scolded. </p><p>“Right now, uh, ten minutes, give or take,” he replied.</p><p>“All right, we need to create a diversion. We’re going to split up, flank them, get them looking everywhere except the Jumper. Hopefully we can buy enough time to steal back our weapons,” John said. Just as we were planning that the gate activated nearby. He paused. “Or we could just dial the gate.”</p><p>“They fixed the DHD?” Teyla asked. </p><p>“That’s impossible,” McKay replied.</p><p>“I don’t think they’re the ones who dialed it,” he said as a Wraith Dart flew overhead. “Get down,” he ordered and I felt his hand on my back, pushing me down and leaning over me protectively. I made a small noise at the position I was in, trying to stay quiet. </p><p>“It didn’t see us,” the guy siad. </p><p>“It saw us, it didn’t care,” Ronon said. </p><p>“Why not?” McKay asked. </p><p>“Who cares? They left the Jumper,” Sheppard said and helped me up. </p><p>We rushed as fast as we could towards it. I winced as we ran, and he helped me up the rant and lowered me into McKay’s usual spot in the Jumper as he stood over the two working under the dash. Teyla stood further back in the back compartment of the jumper and Ronon waited outside, keeping watch. Maybe ten minutes went by when he rushed back inside. </p><p>“The dart went back through the gate,” he told us. </p><p>“I do not know why it did not cull anyone,” Teyla said. </p><p>“Maybe it did. It headed for the mainland when it first came through,” Ronon said. </p><p>“All right,” Sheppard said. “Keep watch,” he said and Ronon rushed back outside. “How’s it coming, Rodney?”</p><p>“Slower than I expected, but faster than humanly possible,” he replied and I reached out a leg to kick him. He jerked his shin away and glared at me but I still think it was worth the pain that shot through me.</p><p>“Any chance of getting the cloaking generator powered up, too? Could really come in handy right about now,” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“Okay, and how about a snack? Maybe you’d like me to make you a nice sandwich?” McKay said indignantly.</p><p>“Only if it’s humanly possible,” Sheppard sassed back. </p><p>“It would be a miracle if I could get the DHD back on, let alone the cloaking generator. And even if I could manage that, the power would be intermittent aat best,” McKay explained. I wished there was something I could do but even if I knew what I was doing I was in too much pain to get under the control board. </p><p>“Okay. Well, FYI, the Wraith have all gone, so it’s just a matter of time before Torrell and his boys return… with all of our weapons,” John explained and McKay flared his nostrils. </p><p>“I get it!” he yelled, annoyed. </p><p>“Good,” Sheppard replied with just as much annoyance. Just then Ronon ducked back in. </p><p>“Party’s over,” he said, ducking out as soon as he’d warned us. </p><p>“And we were having such a good time,” Sheppard responded, following Ronon outside with Teyla. “All right, let’s see if we can hold them off,” I heard him say outside. He jogged back in and pointed at McKay. “As soon as you get the DHD back online, dial the gate, grab O’Neill and make a run for it. When you get back to Atlantis, start working on those sandwiches. We’ll be right behind you.”</p><p>“Two minutes! Hold them that long, we’re good to go,” McKay said and I gripped my torso. McKay hurriedly worked beneath the ship’s dash and before long he was cheering in excitement. </p><p>“That’s it! I did it! We’re ready to dial!” He exclaimed and slid out from underneath. I watched his face fall and looked behind me. Torrell and his men were back. </p><p>“See that? I knew you could do it,” Torrell said. </p><p>I was grabbed by one of his men and we were all forced outside. I saw John and Teyla were all already on their knees, hands on their heads. I was forced down beside them and cried out as I was. I spluttered, clutching my torso. Ronon was being led, standing up a little ways away from us and had a gun pointed at his head. </p><p>“Kill him,” Torrell ordered. </p><p>“Oh, no, no. You don't have to do that. If you want me to dial the gate for you, that’s fine. There are hundreds of suitable planets out there you can go to,” McKay pleaded. </p><p>“Yes, and there are hundreds of unsuitable planets you can send me to, aren’t there?” Torrell said, leaning in close to McKay. Part of me wished McKay would open up a space gate and send them all to their deaths. I no longer felt the pity I had earlier today about them being trapped here as Wraith food.</p><p>“Yeah, but I won’t send you to one of those,” McKay said, sounding like he was genuinely confused Torrell would accuse him of such a thing. </p><p>“I think our best option is to just come with you, to your planet, provided you got more of these laying around there, do you?” Torrell gestured to the Jumper. </p><p>“Forget it,” Sheppard replied.</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Torrell said, turning his attention to Sheppard. </p><p>“We’ll dial you another address. You can go through but we’re not taking you home,” Sheppard explained. Torrell leaned in. </p><p>“You are aware of the fact that we have all of your weapons pointed at you, right?” Torrell asked. </p><p>“Yeah, well, you’re going to murder us the minute we step through the gate anyways. What difference does it make?” He asked. Plus, I’d rather die now than what might happen if I didn’t. </p><p>“That’s very distrustful,” Torrell said, amused. We heard something coming. A Wraith cruiser was making its way slowly towards us. I’d never seen one outside of the reports before and I prayed someone shot me in the head right now. </p><p>“Wait, look!” a prisoner yelled. </p><p>“Oh no…” McKay said. </p><p>“What is that?” Torrell stepped away from us and walked closer to Ronon, looking up at the sky. “What is that?” he demanded. </p><p>“It’s a Wraith Cruiser, and trust me, you don’t want to be around when it gets here,” Sheppard explained. </p><p>Ronon used the opportunity of Torrell being beside him to grab his gun back and swing a well aimed punch, knocking him down before he could react. He then pointed it at the armed prisoners. Everyone around us cocked their guns and pointed it at Ronon. Even Torrell had his grubby hands on another gun.</p><p>“Come on,” Torrell said. He and Ronon exchange confident smirks and shifted from foot to foot, waiting for the other to make the first move. </p><p>“Wait, wait,” John said, halting the two. He looked at McKay. “Dial the gate.” McKay ran up the ramp and back towards the system controls.</p><p>“Stop!” McKay yelled as he started trying to dial. </p><p>“If all the prisoners get off this island, where do you think that ship will go?” Sheppard said. I saw the cruiser get closer and I held my breath. This wasn’t looking good. </p><p>“What? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No! We’ve got a big problem in here!” McKay yelled from inside. I closed my eyes. The power. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Sheppard asked as everyone rushed in. I stayed on my knees. I needed to save what little strength I had for running for my life later. </p><p>“I lost power to the DHD,” McKay said. </p><p>“Why,” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“I told you the power feed would be intermittent at best. We should've dialed when I patched it instead of standing around talking..” McKay explained and I sighed. </p><p>“Can you fix it?” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“I don’t know,” McKay replied. </p><p>“They’re right on top of us,” Ronon said. </p><p>“We could shoot them down,” Torrell suggested. </p><p>“Neither your weapons nor ours will damage it,” Teyla, the voice of reason, told him. </p><p>“What about the drones? Can you patch enough power to arm them?” Sheppard asked. </p><p>“They’re not as intricate as the DHD. Maybe one, given the time constraints,” McKay answered. </p><p>“Then do it,” Sheppard told him. </p><p>“Can one drone shoot down an entire Wraith cruiser?” Teyla asked. </p><p>“Maybe we’ll get a lucky shot, McKay?” Shepppard said. </p><p>“Almost, just give me one more… and… okay! We’re armed! Go, before the power cuts out again!” McKay said. I watched a drone fly out of the side of the ship and soar up towards the Wraith Cruiser and hit it in it’s underside, in what looked like something important. </p><p>“We scored a hit. That’s either going to buy us time or piss ‘em off,” Sheppard said. </p><p>“If they didn’t know we were here, they sure as hell do now,” McKay said. </p><p><em> “Colonel Sheppard, you damaged the Wraith Cruiser…” </em> I heard Weir say over the radio. I turned my head towards the Jumper to see Torrell standing inside holding out a radio. </p><p>“Dr. Weir,” McKay said. </p><p><em> “And it’s leaving the area. But there are two more cruisers incoming,” </em> Weir told us. </p><p>“Elizabeth, where are you?” Sheppard asked. </p><p><em> “We’re in Jumper 2. We’re cloaked, directly above you,” </em> she explained. <em> “Are you alright?” </em></p><p>“Our Jumper’s disabled. Right now, I need you to dial the gate to one of the back-up planets to the Alpha site. Doesn’t matter which one,” Sheppard ordered. </p><p><em> “Understood,” </em> she radioed back. A moment later the gate could be heard opening and Sheppard came outside. </p><p>“Okay, everyone who wanted off of this planet, now’s your chance!” he yelled and everyone made a run for the target. “Time to go,” he told Torrell. </p><p>“Why should we trust you, huh?” Torrell asked. </p><p>“If you want to stay, stay. I really don’t give a damn, but you are not coming home with us!” Sheppard replied. I heard the guy from earlier start to protest but Sheppard waved him off. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can come.” </p><p>Torrell gave a half hearted salute and broke off in a run. Ronon gave what could only be described as a predatory smile. John followed Torrell out and stood in front of me as I looked up at him from the dirt. </p><p>“Eliabeth, I need you to keep the gate open until the last of them go through, then shut it down. Dial Atlantis,” John explained and then helped me up off my knees. </p><p><em> “We can land and pick you up,” </em>Weir responded. </p><p>“Negative, just keep the gate open. We’ll take it from there. Stay in stealth more till the Wraith have gone away,” Sheppard said and then put an arm around me. “You eat a light lunch?” he asked and I laughed, nodding. “Good.”</p><p>I heard the sound of the gate shutting down before Weir radioed that she was dialing Atlantis. John picked me up and I let out a squeak and he ran carrying me at impressive speed right for the gate. I could hear enemy fire around us and I buried my head in the crook of his neck, choosing not to watch as we got closer to the gate. I felt feet hit a different kind of ground and looked up to see we were back safely in Atlantis. I breathed a sigh of relief and put my head back down. </p><p>“Thank god,” I said and John chuckled. </p><p>“Let’s get you to the medbay,” he said and carried me out from the gateroom.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Succumbing To Feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I blinked awake, finding myself warm and heavily medicated. Beckett had turned the volume down on my heart rate monitor so I could sleep, now he was pretty sure I was fine, and the lights were very dim. I felt an arm beside mine and could hear very familiar snores nearby. I smiled to myself, letting my head lul to the side to see the messy haired man waiting at my bedside. I picked up my heavy arm and ran my hand down his, lacing my fingers with his over the back of his hand. He groaned and then looked up, grinning when he saw me awake. I moved my hand off of his and he sat up properly, scooting his chair closer to my bedside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey there,” he said and I waved. “Feeling alright?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah, good timing,” Beckett said from the doorway, I rolled my head over to see him and he smiled at me. “Are you in any pain?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I smiled. “I suspect you had something to do with that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did,” he agreed. “You cracked your ribs again. Seems you sustained quite a bit of damage in that crash.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think they were cracked in the crash,” I replied. “I was bruised but fine right up until I had the bright idea to escape.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I was the one who encouraged you. Don’t blame yourself for what happened,” Sheppard scolded and I shook my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I knew something felt off, should have listened to my gut,” I replied. “It’s over, regardless.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seem to be recovering very nicely, regardless,” Carson told me. “Although I wish if you and John wanted to see me you’d just invite me for a pint rather than getting yourselves put in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just so irresistible,” I told him and he chuckled, scanning my chart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’ll leave you two to it,” he told me. “Are you hungry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thirsty,” I told him and he nodded, moving a tray table with a jug of water and a glass over to me. He poured it for me and stuck a bendy straw in it, leaving me and John to talk. I sat up a little more, leaning forward to take a sip of the icy cold water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Neill,” John sighed, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn,” I told him, pulling a page from his book. I thought we were friends enough now, if I could call him by his first name he could at least use mine. He smiled softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, Evelyn,” he said, putting his head in his hands for a moment. “I want to apologise for what happened on this mission. What Torrell did and I wasn’t able to stop it..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John that’s not on you,” I told him sympathetically. He ignored me and I slid my hand up one of his forearms and gripped his hand. “I’m serious John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m supposed to be your CO,” he told me. “It’s my job to keep you safe.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I nodded. “We do all that we can to protect those we’re in charge of, I always did. But we can’t control the actions of others no matter how badly we want to. Especially the actions of convicted criminals on a convict island with nothing to lose.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s just..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I scolded. “I don’t blame you. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t mine. It just happened. And I’m okay. I still trust you with my life, I already know what you’re willing to do to keep others safe. You’ve saved my life before and I know if I needed you to again you would.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would,” he agreed. “I’m always gonna have your back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The heavy medication the doc had me on for pain relief had me out again pretty soon but John stayed with me until then and regularly visited me everyday after. As did McKay but that was mostly under the guise of looking over his research. I smiled every time he handed me the tablet and treated it very seriously, even though I knew he was here because he also felt partially responsible for my ribs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beckett discharged me and I headed to the lab, and instead of working on my arm and the power project I’d started, I was inspired by an idea I’d had. I sketched out plans, reading up on how making such a thing would be possible and how I could make it small enough it would be included in standard gear so no one would be caught without one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’re you working on?” McKay asked, scurrying over and peeking over my shoulder. I smiled and moved away slightly to show him. He hummed thoughtfully. “Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just..” I sighed. “I’m still thinking about that dive over the cliff I took a couple months ago. I’m not like, scarred or anything by it, but... it would be useful, don’t you think? A better breathing apparatus? I mean half the city is still flooded.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think it’s a good idea, and when you put it like that it sounds like a priority,” he replied. “Consider this,” he said and grabbed the pen, redrawing a mechanism I was designing and I hummed. “You like that, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s gonna make it so much smaller and easier to use,” I complimented. “Thanks McKay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney,” he told me. “I think we’ve been friends long enough you can call me by my first name. We are friends… right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I shoved his shoulder. “We’re friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you been cleared for active duty?” he asked and I shook my head. “We’re checking out another planet in the Ancient database. I think this one’s gonna be really cool. I’ll tell you about it when we get back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me if it’s exciting, I don’t want to hear any long boring stories about unevolved societies,” I told him and he laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guess I can’t tell you any stories about my time on Earth then,” he joked and I laughed, hard. And for the first time in a while, it didn’t hurt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was sitting sketching in the mess hours later when I heard the clunk of metal tray being placed down in front of me and I put my pen down, looking up and smiling at my company. He smiled warmly back and sat down. I picked up my coffee cup and took a sip, moving it to the side so he had plenty of space for his dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You seen much of McKay since we got back?” John asked and I shook my head. “We found an Ancient outpost in the </span>
  <span>Doranda system. He’s off with Radek because of some physics weapon.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Weaponised physics?” I laughed. “We just make a military man of McKay yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’d be the day,” John said. “How are you doing now you’re out of the medbay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I laughed earlier today, didn’t hurt, I’d say that’s progress,” I said, half joking. “Honestly I’m fine, I’ve been thinking about going to see Heightmeyer though..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because of what happened?” John asked, concern spilling over his features. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The crash actually..” I replied, looking down at my coffee cup and tracing the rim with my index finger. “I thought I was over it honestly.. guess all I had to do was crash again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” he nodded. “I’ve been in a few combat related crashes, getting back on the horse always helped but I imagine in your situation, that wasn’t possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, plus I always made a habit of not crashing,” I said, kicking him lightly under the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really not affected by what happened on Olesia?” Jon asked and I sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not not affected,” I replied. “But it’s not something that keeps me up at night, no. I was worried, at the time something might happen but it didn’t, and I’ve spared it no additional thought. We got out, nothing happened. Sure, I cracked a few ribs, but the same thing happened on waterfall planet. Honestly I think I’m more affected by that, I started designing this,” I said, pushing my tablet forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what is this?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you know how a snorkel works? Or the breathing apparatus when diving?” I asked. “This is the next step. Instead of having to have a pipe to the surface like a snorkel would, or an oxygen tank, this works more like gills.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like gills?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You breathe as you normally would but the mask filters out the water so all you get is oxygen. I’m trying to make it pocket sized,” I replied.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And this was easier than working on your arm, or your other project?” John asked, amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kind of actually,” I said. “With this technology I’m not having to start from scratch, I’ve got lots of research material to learn from. And in regards to my power project, that’s.. that’s just a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, kind of ambitious of you,” he laughed. “Can’t say there are many people on this expedition that lack ambition, if I’m honest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think this expedition is high on arrogance, not so much ambition, but you’re right,” I said. “It’s almost ironic, this expedition is so exclusive and secretive they’ll never get credit for the advances they make.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That includes you,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not here for credit,” I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why are you here?” he asked, taking a sip of his own coffee. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like any activity that makes my heart beat more than 100 beats per minute,” I shrugged. “When I joined up, I wanted to be just like my dad but when I started flying… there’s just something so amazing..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know what you mean,” he nodded approvingly. “I like anything that goes faster than 200 miles per hour.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat with John in the mess till it got late and my timer on my tablet went off, making him laugh that I still set it. He escorted me back to my room, telling me not to expect much from McKay over the next little while, as he was escorting him and a team of scientists back to Doranda tomorrow to play with McKay’s new toy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was right, however, because the next time I saw John was the next night at dinner and McKay had been in a different lab with Zelenka since their return. I made my decision on seeing Heightmeyer who seemed unsurprised to see me, but, like John, was surprised at the reasoning. Or at least until I went into further details about my original crash. Unlike every other therapist I’d spoken to, she was very understanding, even told me she was proud of me for coming to her as soon as I felt something was wrong. We booked some follow up appointments and I felt a little lighter when I left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I spent the next few days eating and spending time with John when he was available and working on my invention. I was getting ready to build a prototype, one I’d have liked to show McKay before I tested, but I couldn’t deny him if this new project of his was really important. I didn’t see McKay at all when he and team went back to run tests on the Ancient's physics weapon and when I next saw Sheppard after the tests he’d told me there had been an accident. Apparently Collins was fatally wounded by a hard radiation blast and McKay wasn’t taking it well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna go for a beer after this?” Sheppard asked as I pushed the remainder of my food around my tray. I looked up, raising a brow. “You know, if you’re not busy doing science-y stuff..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I nodded. “Yeah, sounds like fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clearing our tabel, Sheppard escorted me back to his quarters. I stepped over the threshold and walked into what was like a teenager’s room. There was a poster of Johnny Cash behind the bed, a surfboard beside it and a skateboard propped up nearby. The door closed behind me and Sheppard went to a mini-fridge while I made my way around the bed to the windows. I’d never get tired of the view here. Although admittedly his was much nicer than mine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never get tired of looking out over the city,” Sheppard told me and I smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d just been thinking something similar,” I told him and he handed me a beer. “I think it’s a pilot thing. You get used to seeing the world from unimaginable heights.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Explains why I like ferris wheels so much,” he said and I let out a light laugh, cracking the can one handed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you do know how to take things slow,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I might like things that go over 200 miles per hour but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate life at a leisurely pace,” he said. I put the can to my lips, moving to gaze up at him, instead of the view. He reached up to tuck a loose lock of my hair behind my ear when the doorbell rang and he sighed. It went off again and he put his can down on the table by his bedside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on, I gotta get this,” he said and I nodded. He walked towards the door and I made my way over to his sitting area and crossed my legs under me. I rested the can on my knee and waited out of view for him to finish up with whoever was at the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harry K Daghlian,” I heard McKay say as soon as Sheppard opened the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He was a scientist. </span>
  <span>Worked on the Manhattan Project at Los Alamos. He was only 26 years old. Accidentally irradiated himself while performing a critical mass experiment on two half-spheres of plutonium. It took him a month to die, and while his body was slowly shutting down from radiation poisoning, you know what he did with his last thirty days? Hmm? He worked. He tried until his last breath to understand what had happened to him so that others could learn from the tragedy. So that his work, his death wouldn't be rendered meaningless,” McKay said and I frowned. He really was beating himself up about what happened to Collins, just like John had said. “Now, have you considered what would’ve happened if they’d just shut the project down after that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is different,” John said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it? Collins’ death is a pointless waste of life unless something comes of this, and I’m not sure that I can...I think I know what happened,” McKay said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s hear it,” John motioned for him to continue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come in?” McKay asked and I held my breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” John told him and I thanked my lucky stars. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There wasn’t anything written that I couldn’t be here, I just didn’t want it to be the talk of the base. John and I were friends, that was no secret, but it came down to assumptions. He was a man and I was a woman, the world still didn’t think the two could be friends without anything more and I wasn’t ready for the whole of Atlantis to think I was sleeping with my CO.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Ancients had it wrong. Our mistake was using their equations. Look, I just did the calculations again myself. I did them three times just to be sure, and I am positive the problem is in the automatic containment protocols,” McKay explained and I wanted to scoff. Yes, the Ancients were the ones who were wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, what’s your fix?” John asked him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m proposing that we adjust the field strength manually,” McKay replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You saw how fast it spiked on you,” Sheppard argued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So we don’t operate the generator at anywhere near its potential. Look, there’s no need to be greedy. Even operating at fifty percent, it'll still generate the power of a dozen Zed PMS,” McKay explained, still sounding kinda arrogant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How come the Ancients didn’t figure this out?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe they were caught up in the heat of battle, or maybe they thought they needed as much power as they could get. Maybe they weren’t smart enough,” McKay said and I almost scoffed. There was that classic McKay arrogance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you are?” Sheppard asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I didn’t say that, but I have the benefit of hindsight, they didn’t,” he explained. McKay also possessed significantly more time to get this to work. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Best case scenario?” John asked him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I win a Nobel Prize,” McKay said cheerily. I could see the smile on the side of John’s face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Worst case scenario?” John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We tear a hole in the fabric of the universe,” he replied and John’s face immediately turned to annoyance and alarm. “Which is much less likely to happen than the Nobel Prize. I mean, look, the risks are nothing compared to the potential benefits. Elizabeth will listen to you. I’ve never asked this of you before, but I think I’ve earned it. Trust me,” McKay said. I saw John sigh and look down at the ground, thinking for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll speak to her first thing,” he said. “I’m not making any promises, if Weir says no, that’s it. But I’ll speak to her. I’ll try.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perfect,” Rodney beamed and John shut the door in his face. He walked back over and slumped down in the opposing chair, stopping only to grab his beer which he’d left by his bed. I smiled softly at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, you amped to get sucked into a tear in the fabric of the universe?” I asked and he sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s pulled us out of some no win scenarios before, even a few weeks ago. If he’s that confident, if he’s asking me to trust him, maybe I should help him,” John replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, for one thing, you already said you would,” I started, leaning my palm on my knee, beer just beside it. “But also remember, Rodney isn’t one to admit his mistakes, and he’s unlikely to see where he potentially could make one. He may very well do this, but you need to be mindful, someone might have to save him from himself. He also rarely listens to reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” John sighed. “God I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would you do without me, huh?” I joked. He looked taken aback. “If I wasn’t here having a beer with you, who would you talk this out with?” I explained myself and he laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This wasn’t exactly how I imagined tonight going,” he said. “Guess we can thank Rodney for that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh? And how did you imagine tonight going?” I quirked a brow mischievously. He shook his head, taking a sip of his beer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been around long enough to spot a trap when I see one, Evelyn,” John told me and I laughed, hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I went to see Heightmeyer again and spoke to her about my designs and if she thought the only reason I was making my underwater mask was because of the near death experience I’d had in the water which of course just meant she asked me if that’s what I thought. It did make me think about how it was the closest I’d felt to death since my accident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean by that?” Heightmeyer asked. I leaned back against the white chair in her office, feeling the plush back support my weight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The fighting, the exhaustion and then the acceptance. Giving up, I was so tired, out of that situation sometimes I’m annoyed I was ready to give in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hearing my gun click I realised I was out of amo in this too. Dropping it to the floor, I pulled my knife from my back, I had to find some place to slash it. There must have been a reason all my shooting at it did nothing, save for the eyes. It was vulnerable in the eye, the skin was too rough. What could I do? Whatever I did, it had to be quick, I was running out of time. I was almost out of air. My lungs burned. That was it. I needed air, and so did Nessie. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I took my knife and stabbed into its neck, right into the yellow green gills. It let out a roar and I stumbled back, blinking slowly. I had to get back to the surface. I wavered in the water. I opened my mouth, releasing the rest of the air causing my chest to ache. I was tired. I let go of the knife. I did my best, but Nessie was better. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s natural in those kinds of situations to feel that way,” Heightmeyer told me. “The same way it’s natural in hindsight to know you were going to be okay, and feel negatively about how you reacted. But you need to remember, you didn’t have the knowledge you do now. You didn’t know Colonel Sheppard was going to get to you in time, to give you CPR. As far as you knew you had no air left and you couldn’t fight anymore. You shouldn’t blame yourself for succumbing to the feeling. Not many people can find peace in those scenarios, you’re lucky, Evelyn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The grass is always greener I suppose,” I said. “I just wish I was like the people who were defiant till the end. It happened again on Olesia. When the Wraith Cruiser was overhead, I just stayed on my knees. Everyone else around me picked up and ran, the rest of my team went inside the Jumper, desperate for McKay to pull off a miracle but I just.. I just sat there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell me about the Blackhawk crash,” she said and I soured. I didn’t like to think about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Radios were out, I couldn’t get ahold of anyone who was inside the chopper, let alone get assistance. I cursed myself, how could I have messed this up? Now my lieutenant was done for, I was sure of it. I was done for. I coughed, the thick smoke from the fire was burning my lungs and it got harder and harder to breath. Flames licked at my skin and the metal piece pinning my left arm to the floor got hotter and hotter as time went on. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My eyes stung. All I could see was red and smoke, I couldn’t even see out the smashed windows anymore as darkness billowed around me in clouds. I didn’t think I’d be getting out of this one. This wasn’t something I could depend on my dad to save me for, I couldn’t fly by by the seat of my ass. I was really screwed with this one. I rested my head softly against the hot metal floor, it’d be over soon, at least. I hoped I suffocated, instead of burning. At least the former might be less painful. On the other hand, the latter would be quicker. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My eyes grew heavy, every breath was shallow and my lungs were crying out for some fresh air, but there would be none, not anymore. It had been my day off, I should have stayed on base. But then, if I did, my lieutenant might still have gotten shot down. At least we were together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Which was more than I could say for Charlie. I’d promised to be with him, instead I ditched him for the mall, and I’d paid the ultimate price. He’d paid the price. He just wanted to play heroes, if I’d have stayed, maybe he wouldn’t have gone looking. This was my comeuppance. He’d been alone, now I would be. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I couldn’t hear anything but the fire, I had no way of knowing if the others got out. God, I hoped they did, I prayed they weren’t trapped like me. I was done for, but they didn’t have to be. I closed my eyes. I felt so heavy, so tired. I could barely feel the uncomfortable stickiness of my sweat, or the burning pain in my lungs and throat. My arm didn’t hurt anymore. It was over. It was over. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charlie, your younger brother?” Heightmeyer asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, first thing I was ever sure of in my life. When he was born I knew I wanted to be the best big sister in the world,” I explained. “Funny how quickly that changed when I was a teenager.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened to him, Evelyn?” she asked me, shifting in her seat slightly. I ran my hand over my face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was supposed to be hanging out with him. I promised him I would. Dad was out of town again, our mom was busy. She was home but she had stuff to do, I was 15, what did I have to do? All he wanted was to play at being in the Air Force, like dad. But my friend called and said everyone was going to the mall. He was my little brother, I just figured I could play with him whenever, how often was I going to get to hang at the mall with my friends? So while mom was doing housework and I was ditching for the mall, Charlie was left to amuse himself. He got a hold of my dad’s gun and accidentally shot himself. I told my dad it wasn’t his fault, that it was a tragic accident and he shouldn’t blame himself for what happened, I just haven’t quite gotten around to following that same advice,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see,” Heightmeyer hummed. “Perhaps this is all grief related.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, you think death is the only place I can get close enough to letting it go?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not exactly,” she told me. “When you’re experiencing near death situations you’re letting go of everything, you become accepting of whatever is coming. Maybe that’s because you know you don’t have to carry what you have been anymore. Maybe instead of acceptance, you’re feeling relief.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So do you think if I’m able to come to terms with what happened to Charlie, I’ll get my fight back? I’ll stop giving in?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps,” Heightmeyer replied.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. The Tavern</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I threw my tablet down on the bench and ran out of the lab, having just heard over the radio from Zelenka what had happened. I tore ass down down the corridor and into the transporter, having it send me towards the gateroom. I had to see them, now. It couldn’t wait. </p><p>I made it to the gateroom and was throwing myself down the stairs two, three at a time, as many as I could without tripping and dying. John looked up first, smiling at me as he saw me tearing up the flooring on my way over to them. I skidded to a halt in front of the two men. Sheppard opened his mouth to say something but mine opened in a snarl before he could. </p><p>“What the hell is wrong with you?” I screamed, reaching over and smacking McKay in the back of the head, hard. </p><p>“Ow!” he exclaimed, reaching for the spot I’d just hit. “What the..”</p><p>“Shut up,” I said through gritted teeth. I’d never been this angry before in my entire life. “Do you have any idea what the hell you’ve done?”</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” he started and I whacked him in the chest. “Ow!”</p><p>“I’m not finished,” I told him. “I am <em> astounded </em> by the sheer arrogance and recklessness that came out of you today, Rodney. I don’t care you destroyed a solar system, I care you almost got yourself and John blown up, because you were so stuck up your own ass, you believed <em> you </em> were better than the Ancients. You haven’t even figured out how to make a ZPM on your own, why the hell did you think you and you alone, were capable of coming out on top where others had so drastically failed? Do you understand why I’m so angry with you? Am I even getting through that thick skull of yours?”</p><p>He paused, looking at me, a little shocked. I imagine Weir would be tearing him a new one soon about the solar system he partially destroyed and the planet he blew up, but he had absolutely no idea why I was ripping him a new one if it wasn’t for the same issue. </p><p>“Answer me!”</p><p>“No!” He yelled back. “I don’t know. I’m sorry okay?”</p><p>“You fucking better be,” I told him and punched him hard in the chest. </p><p>“Ow!”</p><p>“Rodney,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Did I ever tell you about my brother?” He shook his head. “He was 7. I was meant to be looking after him but I had better things to do and I left him to his own devices. He was messing around and he got shot. He’s dead, Rodney. And I haven’t cared about anyone else this much since. I don’t want to lose anyone else like that. So don’t you dare, don’t you dare ever put me through something like that again.”</p><p>“I-I’m sorry,” he said, taken aback. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”</p><p>“No, because for someone who’s as remarkable as you, you don’t seem to do a lot of thinking, do you? All you care about is Rodney McKay and how much smarter he is than everyone else. You are selfish, arrogant and conceited,” I said, shoving him each time I listed a new trait. “and I don’t even want to look at you for a while.” </p><p>He nodded and I breathed out heavily. I ran a hand over my face as he paused for a moment, looking out of breath, before walking past me and up the stairs, headed for his lecture he was about to receive from Weir. John looked at me, shocked at the screaming fit he’d just witnessed. I stepped forward and wrapped my arm tightly around him, pinning him to my chest for a moment. He put a hand on my head, rubbing my back softly. </p><p>“You gonna yell at me too?” he asked and I scoffed. I shook my head. “Alright, well I gotta put all this gear back, you wanna come with and we’ll grab a beer?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”</p><p>John POV</p><p>Evelyn stood by the window again, arms folded over her chest as she glared out the glass windowpane. I walked up to her with a can in each hand. I could see she was still upset, half of it seemed to be grief or worry, the other was a simmering rage I knew wasn’t even close to boiling over. Rodney got off lightly. </p><p>“Here,” I handed her the can and she cracked it open one handed. I watched her bite her lip as she watched the city some more. </p><p>“Thanks,” she said eventually, voice coming out cracked. </p><p>“Can I ask you something?” I said, staring out the window but watching her out the corner of my eye. She swallowed. </p><p>“What?” she replied and took a sip from the can. </p><p>“How come you’re so angry with McKay but not me?” I asked. If I remembered anything from the many arguments I had with Nancy, it was usually me who was in trouble. “I was there too.”</p><p>“I know you were,” she nodded. </p><p>She turned to look at me for a moment before sighing and walked to the seats, taking the same one she did last time. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her arms over the top of them. She looked so small like that. </p><p>“You went out there because Rodney asked you to. Because I asked you to,” she started. </p><p>“Wait, you didn’t ask me to, Rodney didn’t even ask, I volunteered..” I started and she cut me off. </p><p>“To protect him from himself, I know,” she told me, looking over at me. “Just after we had a conversation about what you needed to do. Point is, I can’t be angry with you for going out there and doing the right thing, no matter how scary it was when I found out about it going wrong. I’m angry with Rodney because he didn’t <em> have </em> to go out there, he didn’t <em> have </em> to run those tests and he didn’t <em> have </em> to fight till the very last <em> second </em> to stay. He put his life at risk just so he could be right. If it all went wrong, if we lost him, there was no value in that sacrifice. It’s not even a sacrifice. It’s just sheer stubbornness.”</p><p>“So..” I started, trying to figure out what exactly all that meant. </p><p>“After my brother died, I always kept a professional distance between everyone and myself. The only person I was really close to was my dad, because he was all I had left. Even my old lieutenant, we were close, I’d have died for him, but I kept him just far enough away I wouldn’t get hurt,” she explained. “But like a parasite, McKay worked himself under my skin, I slipped up. I care about him like he’s family.”</p><p>“That’d make for an interesting Thanksgiving dinner,” I said and she chuckled. </p><p>“I think subconsciously I was looking for a Charlie replacement, and McKay’s clearly used to having a sister,” she told me, taking another sip of her beer. “He’s endearing, in his own McKay way, and I was fucking terrified I almost lost you two.”</p><p>“You haven’t seen the last of me, not yet,” I assured her, feeling my chest puff out a little knowing she cared about me, and that her relationship with McKay was purely platonic, familial even. </p><p>After sitting and talking that out, she seemed less angry. She relaxed into the chair more, letting her legs down and she chatted away lately until it got late. Apparently she had to go for a run with Cadman, the two ran together every few nights before bed to unwind. I didn’t realise the two were close. Although Rodney did mention something about the two having had a sleepover. </p><p>A few days went by and I was still avoiding Rodney. I couldn’t deny I was also upset with him over the Doranda system incident. I was on my way to visit Evelyn when I saw him in the corridor. Hoping I’d turned quickly enough, I changed directions and headed for the transporter. </p><p>“Oh, Colonel. Colonel!” McKay yelled, jogging after me as I fast walked to freedom. “I’ve been looking all over for you,” he said, catching up. I turned back around to face him. </p><p>“I heard,” I replied. I crossed my arms. </p><p>“I suppose I deserve that. Look, I just um… I wanted to apologise about what happened. I was wrong. I’m sorry. And I wanted to assure you that I intend on being right again, about everything, effective immediately,” he said and I wanted to roll my eyes. I smirked.</p><p>“That was a joke,” he said.</p><p>“Good one,” I said disingenuously. I turned back to the transporter, intent on going back to my plans to see Evelyn. Rodney rushed forward and tried to stop me.</p><p>“I’ve already apologised to Elizabeth,” he told me and reluctantly, I decided to stay and just get this conversation over with. </p><p>“And Radek and...and I thanked Colonel Caldwell for caring enough to spy on the experiment from orbit. Sent him a nice little email, actually. But I saved you till last because, um… Honestly, I would...I would hate to think that recent events might have permanently dimmed your faith in my abilities.. Or your trust. At the very least, I hope I can-I can earn that back.”</p><p>“That may take a while,” I answered honestly. I could see he was taking this apology seriously, I appreciated that, but I wasn’t able to forgive him just yet. He saddened. </p><p>“I see,” he said. I smiled.</p><p>“But... I’m sure you can do it, if you really, really try,” I told him and reached behind me, pressing the button to the area of the city I was meeting Evelyn. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I’d just modified the lab’s 3D printer to be able to use and print in wood and was pulling out my first test when Sheppard showed up, grin on his face. I smiled up at him, holding my new prosthetic in my hand. I tugged off the porus one I’d made previously and slipped on the wooden one I’d made to fit my arm perfectly. It was snug, pretty comfortable and not as heavy as I thought it would be. Like the silicone one, I’d modified it to be able to store an emergency knife inside. </p><p>“Beckett cleared you for active duty again, wanna come on a mission?” he asked and I grinned. </p><p>“Where are we going?” I asked. </p><p>“It’s a mystery,” he replied and walked over closer. “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?”</p><p>“It fell off in the Blackhawk crash,” I rolled my eyes and he laughed lightly. “Fine, but I hate surprises so this better be good.”</p><p>“It never is, but that’s the charm of the Pegasus Galaxy,” he told me and I chuckled. </p><p>I followed him to the armoury for a briefing and then to suit up. I made eye contact with McKay for a brief moment before I directed my attention elsewhere. I hadn’t really seen him in weeks, not since I screamed at him. I realise, the silent treatment and avoiding him like he carried a plague probably wasn’t the typical reaction after almost losing someone, but I was still both hurting and furious with him. How could he do something so reckless and dangerous?</p><p>I took point when we walked out of the Jumper, Ronon took six, McKay barely in front of him. It was dark and misty as we walked through and the building looked practically medieval. There were a few lanterns on, but it did little to aid us in the shadows we marched through. I didn’t have high hopes for this world being particularly beneficial to Atlantis or our expedition but good relations might be a good consolation prize. You never know when networking could come in handy. </p><p>“Another great vacation getaway in the Pegasus galaxy,” John said. </p><p>“Where is everyone?” Teyla wondered aloud. </p><p>“There's smoke from the chimneys. They're inside,” Ronon concluded. </p><p>“Can't say I blame them. There's nothing I hate more than a damp cold,” McKay said and I found myself rolling my eyes. </p><p>“Let's check this out,” John said. He walked across the village square we were in towards a somewhat lit up building. It was a tavern, one that sounded like there was a fair amount of traffic inside. </p><p>He pushed the door open, Ronon close behind as we stepped over the threshold. There was a moderate level of sound, people chatting away until they caught sight of us walking through the door. Conversation immediately dulled and everyone turned to us. Must not be used to visitors. </p><p>“Howdy, folks,” John greeted. </p><p>“Who are you?” The barkeep demanded. </p><p>“I’m Sheppard, this is O’Neill, Teyla, Ronon, McKay,” John introduced. </p><p>“You from Ratira?” the barkeep asked. </p><p>“No,” John answered honestly. </p><p>“From over the mountains, then?” The barkeep continued to grill us. They really weren't used to strangers. </p><p>“A little further,” John said. </p><p>“Huh,” he said, cocking his head thoughtfully. “Then you’ve come a long way. You’ll be in need of food and drink. Sit,” he told us and we were led to a table. Ronon pulled the door closed behind us all. The barkeep grabbed an extra chair and put it by the 4 seater he’d led us to. I pulled it over right beside John and sat down. Ronon walked around the table and sat on my other side, Teyla across from me. </p><p>“I take it you don’t get many strangers around here,” McKay said, saying what we all must have been thinking. The barkeep wiped the table down with a rag he had with him.</p><p>“No, especially not those that travel near dark,” the barkeep answered.</p><p>“Why is that?” Sheppard asked. Knowing these people, probably ghosts. Some stupid, old time-y legend that would be some Scooby Doo type villain.</p><p>“You really don’t know?” he asked in shock. I shook my head.  </p><p>“Callum,” I heard a man say, warningly. There was an older, rather large man standing behind him with his arms folded. He turned to us. “What’s your business here?”</p><p>“No business, really. We’re just travelers,” John answered. </p><p>“Then you best keep traveling,” he replied. </p><p>“Yeah,” McKay said, awkwardly, his face losing all the warmth it held. There was a small silence throughout the room. </p><p>“Alright then,” Jon agreed. We all stood but were stopped by Callum. </p><p>“Wait,” Callum halted us and then turned to argue with the fat guy. “Goran, you can’t send them out there.”</p><p>“They look like they can take care of themselves,” Goran said, looking at us. Ronon scanned him, watching where this was going. “It may not even start tonight.”</p><p>“It’s been three months. How much longer do you think it’ll wait?” Callum asked. </p><p>“Hi, what are you talking about?” McKay asked, sidling up and interrupting them. </p><p>“The Daimos,” Goran said. Yep, there it was, the old time-y mystery. We all exchanged puzzled looks. </p><p>“Never heard of it,” John said. </p><p>“It lives in the forest. It’ll be feeding soon,” Goran replied. </p><p>“And it is, what, some kind of an animal, or..?” McKay asked, moving his hands around in a keep going gesture.</p><p>“It’s a creature. It has the appearance of a man, but it can suck the very life from your bones. Leaves only a dead withered husk behind,” Goran explained and I sighed. I watched the look of realisation on everyone else’s faces as we realised what exactly a Daimos was. I kind of wished it was a Scooby Doo villain now. </p><p>“Sounds familiar,” John replied.</p><p>“We have a different name,” I said. </p><p>“So you’ve encountered them before?” Goran asked and Ronon smirked. </p><p>“You could say that,” he said. Goran and Callum gestured for us to sit down again, Callum fetching a chair for Goran who would now join us at our table. Callum went off to the bar, presumably to do his job. I kept my place close by John’s side. I felt safe knowing he was right there to watch my back. Maybe these people wouldn’t turn on us, or maybe I was more affected by what happened on Olesia than I thought. Callum returned with a tray of drinks, dishing one out to each of us, Ronon chugged his immediately. </p><p>“Look, we know you’re not used to dealing with strangers, but we may be able to help you with this little problem you’re having. We’re used to dealing with this kind of thing,” John said. Thunder echoed outside, noise shaking the window panes as lightning lit up the sky. </p><p>“We call them Wraith,” Teyla told him. </p><p>“These are the creatures from the old stories? From the time of the cullings?” Goran asked. </p><p>“So you have heard of them,” McKay said. </p><p>“Yes, but the histories of them are incomplete. They tell of the great ships that descended from the sky, but there’s no description of the Wraith themselves. Although there were a few among us who guessed that the Daimos might be one of them,” Goran said. </p><p>“Why?” Teyla asked. </p><p>“Because it, too, came from the sky. It was about ten years ago. A bright light appeared above the village, crashed into the hills. We didn’t know what it was, but people were terrified. I went with some of the other men to investigate. We found the wreckage, a few wounded survivors. We didn’t know what they were but we decided to take no chances. We slaughtered them, burned the bodies,” Goran told us. </p><p>“Wise decision,” Ronon complimented. I took a sip of the ale that had been brought to us, I hummed softly, it wasn’t bad. </p><p>“Unfortunately we didn’t get them all and although none of us saw it, evidently one of them survived. It took its first victim that very night. We tried to hunt it down, but we couldn’t find it. It’s been out there ever since. It feeds three, four times a year. Takes two or three people each time. Two years after the crash, it took my own son,” Goran said. </p><p>“That’s it? One Wraith, in the forest?” Ronon asked. </p><p>“Yes,” Goran agreed. </p><p>“I’ll be done by morning,” Ronon said, loading his gun and pushing himself up in his chair. </p><p>“Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’ll all go together, in the daylight,” John said. Ronon stopped, standing by the corner of the table and putting his gun down on the wood. He stood twirling it on the surface as he listened to the rest of the conversation. </p><p>“You’re really going to help us?” Asked Callum, tray tucked under his arm. </p><p>“Well, like the man said, it’s just one Wraith. It’d be downright unneighborly if we didn’t,” John said. </p><p>“In that case,” said Callum. “drinks are on me.”</p><p>“Uh, well, let’s not forget the food,” McKay said, watching the barkeep head back to the bar. </p><p>“You should stay here tonight,” Goran said. “There are lodgings upstairs. Once Callum has brought you some supper, I’ll escort you there.”</p><p>“Thank you,” said Teyla. “That is most generous.”</p><p>“If you’ll really help us, there’s nothing generous about it,” Goran said. </p><p>Callum brought us back food rather quickly and I watched McKay dive in with little care in the world, followed by Ronon. I picked at it gingerly, wondering why we’d gone from being kicked out to get eaten by the Wraith, to being treated like kings. I wondered if he’d planned to feed it in one night by sacrificing us to it until he got a better offer. Callum kept the drinks coming and they must have been a lot stronger than they seemed, that paired with my eating very little of the free food, I found myself swaying as I stood to follow Goron upstairs to our rooms.</p><p>John slipped an arm under mine to steady me, guiding me by the waist up the stairs so I didn't trip, but I did catch my boots on a couple of them. I leaned on him and Goran smiled at me. He gave the others a room of three single beds and they accepted it gratefully, heading inside to get settled for the night. I assumed there would be a similar situation for John and I but when Goran opened the door there was just one double. Goran smiled at us proudly. </p><p>“And for the couple,” he said and handed John the key, headed back down the stairs before we could protest. </p><p>“I can take the floor,” John said as he walked me in the room. </p><p>“Johnny boy, I’ve had so much to drink I honestly don’t care,” I replied and stumbled away from him to sit down on the end of the bed. </p><p>He smiled amused at me, before coming over to help me unclip my P90 like he always did. I yanked off my wooden arm and handed that to him as well. I unclipped my sidearm holster and pulled a bunch of knives off my person. He walked over to the small desk on the far wall of the room and put all our armaments there, having to take several trips thanks to me.</p><p>“I never see you take this many things out of the armoury, how are you walking out of there like this?” He asked and I laughed. “You must be fun at airports.”</p><p>I leaned over my knees to untie my shoelaces, thanking my lucky stars removing them one handed was easier than tying them one handed. I unzipped my vest and pulled off my uniform shirt leaving myself in just a tank top and my trousers. I flopped down on my side, scooting up the bed after the room stopped spinning. </p><p>“The hell was in those drinks, John?” I muttered and he laughed. “I never used to be this lightweight.” He came over in a similar state of undress and pulled the blankets I was laying on top of out from under me and tucked me in. </p><p>I didn’t fall asleep right away, the room spent the next hour or so spinning intermittently and I went from being hot to freezing. During one of my boiling phases I kicked off my trousers and the next time I got cold I rolled off to my side and scooted closer to John to steal his body heat. He was snoring away by this point and didn’t much notice. I shifted again so I was laying impossibly close beside him but face down in the pillows, John’s arm under my chest. He moved in his sleep so he was holding me close while he lay on his back, the other arm resting on the small of my back. His snoring, thanks to the amount of time I spent in the medbay, was a comfort to me now and I drifted slowly off to sleep.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Good Wraith Hunting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I awoke to a head resting in the crook of my neck, breath softly fanning the hot skin. I had my arms wrapped around them and I took a moment to pray I hadn’t been sharing a room with Ronon or Rodney last night. I remember drinking a fair amount, Callum the barkeep, having decided to ply us with alcohol in thanks for taking care of the Wraith. Then I remember escorting Evelyn upstairs because she’d had a bit more than I had, that’s right. I breathed a sigh of relief that the warm body beside me was hers. There was a knocking on my door and Ronon shouting through the door that we were losing daylight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s 7am Atlantis time, shake a leg,” he yelled and I heard groaning beside me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kill me,” Evelyn groaned into my neck. I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll be alright,” I told her and she snuggled in closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five more minutes,” she whined and I laughed harder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tell that to the Wraith,” I replied and she sighed, pushing herself up on the bed with one arm. She sat back on her knees, rubbing her face with her hand. She scowled at me and I smiled, she looked cute with her bed hair and cranky face. She turned and crawled towards the edge of the bed, swinging her legs over the side and standing up. I watched her walk over to the foot of the bed and pick up a pair of pants I didn’t know she’d discarded last night and shimmy them back up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the plan?” she asked, grabbing her over shirt, jacket and vest. She dumped them on the end of the bed, putting them on one by one. I shrugged, sitting up lazily in the bed. Despite having a slight headache, that was actually one of the best night's sleep I’d had in awhile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have Ronon use his skills to track it, kill it, come back to tell the villagers, hope they throw a parade,” I told her and she laughed. She walked over to the desk I remembered putting all of our weapons on last night, and went to start hiding all of her gear on her person. I dressed quickly and joined her by the desk where she was perched trying to do her shoelaces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you thought about putting a notch here?” I asked, lifting her wooden arm up and flipping it over, wrist up. I pointed to the side of her fake thumb. “You can catch the second lace on it and it might make it easier to tie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s a good idea,” she said. She handed me a sturdy looking whittling knife, why she had one, I wouldn’t know. Or ask. “Do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I did as asked and carved a small v shaped divot in the side of her wooden thumb and she moved to tie her shoes. It still took longer than the average person, but it tied much quicker than her other boot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We headed down the stairs once dressed to find Teyla, McKay and Ronon already there, picking away at some breakfast. Ronon raised an eyebrow at me and Evelyn ignored him completely and sat down. She’d chosen to sit next to McKay, him seemingly out of the dog house, at least for now and then went to start picking away at the food as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After breakfast Ronon and I walked a little ahead of the others as we made our way through the now much busier town centre. He kept eyeing me and I could tell there was something he wanted to ask me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did anything..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you want it to?” Ronon asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t really thinking about it to be honest, I was drunk and wanted to sleep,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And this morning?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Takes her longer than average to get ready because of the arm thing,” I shrugged. “I didn’t want to help because she likes her independence.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stood beside McKay, having decided he’s suffered enough, and also something about having a good time hanging out with my team last night really cheered me up. He was fidgeting with something in his hands while a small ginger child lurked behind us. He looked behind us and sighed, deciding ignoring him wouldn’t work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” McKay demanded. The boy took that as a sign to approach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it true? You’re going to hunt the Daimos?” he asked excitedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It looks that way,” McKay grumbled, and I smiled at the child, who grinned toothily back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are sweetie,” I told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard it has two heads, and it can turn you to stone just by looking at you,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you heard wrong,” McKay said, standing up and moving over closer to the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My uncle says it’ll come and take me if I don’t do my chores,” he told us and I smiled softly. Parents will do just about anything to get their kids to behave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said that, huh? Well, then, if we get rid of it, you’ve got nothing to worry about, you’ll never have to do chores again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Look, go away.” The little boy ran away past us and the others on Rodney’s command and I smacked him upside the head. He cried out in pain. “Ow! What was that for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you really have no people skills?” I demanded. “He’s a kid Rodney, in a town that never gets any visitors. He thinks you’re cool and you were downright rude to him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He thinks I’m cool?” Rodney asked and I smacked him again. “Ow! Stop that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Goran walked out of the tavern we’d stayed in last night and towards us, standing behind John, Teyla and Ronon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As far as we know, no one was taken last night, but it will strike, and soon,” Goran warned ominously. Ronon loaded his gun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll kill it before that happens,” he promised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You must be great at parties,” John commented as we walked away and Ronon smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We walked through the forest and I let my P90 bounce lightly on my chest, putting my hand lazily in my pocket. We’d been walking for maybe twenty minutes before McKay started to complain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re talking about a hundred square miles of forest here,” Rodney mumbled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Be patient. Ronon’s been going up against the Wraith one on one for the last seven years. If anyone can track this thing, it’s him,” John told him as I walked on this other side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And how is he going to do that, huh?” McKay said, turning to us as he hid his disbelief from the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It helps to have good hearing,” Ronon said from up ahead and I laughed as McKay paled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” McKay replied, embarrassed. John slapped McKay on the back of the head as he walked past us to catch up to Teyla and I chuckled. “Carry on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you? You sensing anything?” he asked as I continued to walk with McKay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure,” Teyla said and John looked a little confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There is a presence here… but it is different. I cannot quite explain it,” Teyla told him. Up ahead Ronon held up a hand to stop us and then gestured for us to look ahead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s there,” Ronon said and all I was able to catch was a flash of the Wraith running behind a tree. Ronon took off after it and then John took after Ronon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon! Damn it.” John said and I pushed myself faster, catching up to John and then running a little harder. We chased the Wraith for maybe ten minutes through the forest before we ducked after Ronon around a corner and stopped at a cave mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s in there,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was it wraith?” John asked and Ronon nodded in confirmation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You see it?” McKay asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Ronon replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, how do you know?” McKay demanded. What was his big issue with Ronon today? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon is correct. I can definitely sense it now,” Teyla confirmed and I frowned, flicking the light on on my P90. We made our way through the cave and we saw her. “A female.” Teyla said, seething and we ran after her when she started up running again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We came to a door and the Wraith burst through, running up to an old man and sheltering in his arms. I was first in after her and the sight I saw shocked me. She buried her head on his chest, desperate to hide from us. A chicken Wraith? She was quite young too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A kid?” I asked, raising a brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia?” the old man asked. He held her protectively, hiding her from us. We all had our guns trained on her, ready to fire at a moment’s notice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get out of the way,” John ordered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, please. Don’t shoot. She’s not what you think.. she’s my daughter,” he said and everyone stared back at him in shock and disgust. “She means you no harm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s a wraith,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe so, but she’s different. I swear to you,” the old man said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me guess, Wraith with a heart of gold?” John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She doesn’t feed. She’s never taken a human life,” the old man assured us and I raised a brow. Could Wraith do that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is that possible?” Teyla asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, lower your weapons, and I’ll explain it to you,” he said and I dropped my P90 immediately. I wanted to hear this story, even if it was a ruse. I saw the others do the same, following Sheppard’s lead when he’d done it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” he soothed the Wraith.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Father,” Ellia said worriedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I won’t let them hurt you,” he told her. He turned to us. “I raised her as my own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You live here, together?” Teyla asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This was part of a mine before the last culling. It’s not much to look at, I know, but we don’t have much choice. The people of the village would not understand,” the guy explained to us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gee, I wonder why,” Sheppard said sarcastically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The villagers told us there was a Wraith in the forest. It came here in a crashed ship ten years ago,” Teyla said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ten years ago? Ellia was just a child. Do you really think that she could have been responsible for the deaths that happened immediately after the crash?” the old man told us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you know about that, then?” McKay asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was there, I helped kill the survivors,” he explained. “But when I found a young female lying unconscious some distance from the crash…I couldn't bring myself to hurt her. I brought her here to this cave to hide her from the others. To this day, the people of the village don't know, and you must promise not to tell them. She's not responsible for what's been happening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then who is?” Ronon demanded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe another Wraith survived the crash. An adult. That’s who you should be out looking for,” he said and I rolled my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If she does not feed, how does she live?” Teyla asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At first I fed her as you would any child and that seemed to suffice. But then something began to change,” he explained, McKay chose that moment to start wandering around looking at the alchemy stuff on the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The food no longer gave her any sustenance. There was a hunger growing in her that would not be satisfied. I heard the stories of the other creature, what it did to survive, and I was afraid that was what Ellia would become. And so I… started to experiment. I have extensive knowledge of the chemical properties of various medicinal plants that grow in this forest. Are you interested in science?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure that’s what I would call this, but yes,” McKay said and I wanted to smack him for being arrogant again but he was too far away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia's hunger was growing stronger every day, and I wasn't sure that I could do anything for her. But eventually… I came up with this,” he said, holding up a flask. It had a dark red almost purple liquid in it that almost looked like wine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We all exchanged glances before we started a group huddle. Teyla, McKay and I were to stay here while Sheppard and Ronon would go back to Atlantis to discuss what we’d learned and if it was even possible. I for one was fascinated. This was my first, real life encounter with a Wraith, everything else I’d seen of them was either in reports or ships. And she was completely different to everything else we thought we knew about them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was standing beside Zaddik, as he’d introduced himself, and Ellia as they made up the serum as a demonstration for us. I decided to get up close and personal with everything, I looked at the vials, watched the process, poked stuff Ellia was using which made her laugh, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember the leaves must be dried and finely ground,” Zaddik said to Ellia as she ground some herbs with a mortar and pestle. She held the bowl out to him as she ground the herbs for approval.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like this?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A little more,” he told her as he walked around the bench. The various vials were bubbling and it was just like something out of an old scifi movie. “Now, why is distillation an important step?” She bit her lip as she thought about the answer, acting like any other teenage girl I’d ever seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To remove the toxins from the Ferassin root?” she asked and he beamed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Precisely. We wouldn’t want the serum to send you into paralytic shock, now, would we?” he said playfully. She smiled and rolled her eyes at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, father,” she said. It was amazing, the Wraith female I’d heard about were vicious, ruthless queens who treated everyone like the scum of the earth. This one was a giggly teenage girl, she was practically human. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like your fingernails, why are they pink?” Ellia asked me. I smiled at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I painted them this colour with nail polish,” I explained. “It’s a custom some of my people practice. Would you like me to do yours?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded eagerly. I looked at Zaddik for approval and he smiled warmly at me, giving me the nod. We went to a bench with seats in front of it and took one each. I dug into my pocket for the nailpolish I’d borrowed from Cadman and meant to give back before I went on this mission. I’d been insistent I didn’t need it, and that I wouldn’t be able to paint my nails ever again but Cadman was insistent and I managed to do it by taping the brush to my porus prosthetic and practicing.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put the lid of the bottle in my mouth and twisted the bottom part until it opened. I took her hand and rested it on top of my wooden one, using it to hold her hand up to my face. I picked up the brush in my right hand and started gently painting her green fingernails a baby pink colour. She giggled excitedly as each nail was transformed. I moved on to her second hand and she looked down at my wooden one. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you mind if I ask..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened to my hand?” I asked, smiling softly. I was used to this by now. She nodded bashfully. “I was in an accident. There was a fire and I needed to have part of my arm removed in order to save my life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” she said and I smiled softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, sweetie, that’s not on you,” I told her. “It’s alright, I’m still here, aren’t I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but I wish you didn’t have to go through that,” she said and I smiled. I was impressed at the level of empathy Ellia was capable of feeling and portraying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There,” I said. “All done. But these are still drying so be careful what you touch, otherwise half your dad’s lab will be pink.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard the radio go off and Sheppard’s voice come through. I picked up one of Ellia’s hands and showed her how to blow on her nails to dry them faster. I was only half listening, still fascinated by the very gentle and kind Wraith that was sitting across from me. I held her feeding hand in mine and she hadn’t even thought about using it on me. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We just got back with Beckett. Ronon’s going to take him up to the cave. I’m going to check in with the villagers,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>John said.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What are you going to tell them?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Teyla said. It came through my radio so she must have been speaking very softly as I didn’t hear her in person. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m still working on that,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> John replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe 10 minutes Ronon and Beckett wandered through the door with a bunch of crates. I smiled at Beckett from my spot with Ellia who had been chatting away with me about all the stuff her father had taught her. Once her nails were dry she hopped up off the stool to make some tea for her guests. I hated to say it but she was almost cute. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This equipment’s remarkable. Where did you get it?” Zaddik asked, fascinated by all the medical hardware Beckett had brought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, here and there. Let’s start by analysing that drug of yours, shall we?” Beckett said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes. Of course,” Zaddik said, sounding excited. Ellia went over and Beckett seemed taken aback, seeing her up close for the first time. She held a tray of terracotta cups and went around the room offering them to people. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like some tea?” she asked him and her father. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, thank you,” Zaddik replied and eagerly took a cup. Beckett was shocked but then politely refused. She handed a cup to McKay who was also baffled but reluctantly took it. I grabbed one off the tray, helping myself and she grinned at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you like some?” she asked Ronon who glared at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure? It’s very good,” Ellia said and he nearly bit her head off. If looks could kill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said no,” he told her and she looked disheartened. I shot her a sympathetic look. She went over to a table in the kitchen to put down her tray of tea and instead went around with biscuits. She bounced up to Ronon, determined to make friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe some biscuits? I baked them myself,” Ellia said, offering him the plate. He slammed the plate out of her hand, knocking everything to the floor, absolutely furious with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay away from me!” he yelled at her and Ellia let out a scream in a Wraith voice. Ronon pulled his gun and aimed it at her. Teyla threw up her hand, stopping him in his tracks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon!” She scolded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellia rushed out of the cave and Zaddik chased after her. I felt bad. Ronon was clearly uncomfortable in this situation and I couldn’t blame him. He’d been tortured and hunted by the Wraith for 7 years and before that he grew up in a community constantly being culled by the Wraith. But he wasn’t being skirty or even just a little brash, he was being outright rude to someone who was clearly different to the rest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Was that really necessary?” Teyla asked Ronon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can dress her up and teach her table manners but it’s not going to change who she is,” Ronon replied angrily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I bent down to pick up the plate and clean up the biscuits. I moved them back to the kitchen before I sighed. I wanted to go outside, speak to Ellia but at the same time, her father was already there, and he knew her a lot better than I did. I took a sip of the tea she’d made. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>very good. I put my cup down and walked out of the cave, finding her sitting in Zaddik’s arms sobbing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” I said softly. Zaddik and Ellia looked up at me. “I thought you might want a girly chat, is that okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia?” Zaddik asked and she nodded. I walked over and sat down at her other side, smiling softly at her. Zaddik got up and left to go back inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First I want to apologise for how Ronon is treating you. He’s brash and a little rough around the edges, but with good reason. The Wraith he knows killed all his people on his home world and then as one of the last survivors he was taken captive and hunted for sport for the last 7 years. It’s no excuse for the way he’s treating you but it’s not really you he’s upset with. He’s having trouble separating you from the people who hurt him,” I explained and she nodded. “But I wouldn’t worry, he’ll either come around or he wont. You don’t need everyone’s approval to have a happy life. You already have someone who loves you, your father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose so,” Ellia said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, how about something that always cheers me up when a boy’s mean to me,” I said and pulled a candy bar out of my jacket pocket. I held it out to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is this?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This, is chocolate,” I told her and tore the silver foil open. I snapped off a piece and gave it to her, next taking one for myself. I bit into it and chewed and she copied my motions. She gave a pleasant hum as she tried it and like it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like chocolate,” she told me happily and I laughed. I gave her the rest of the bar and sat with her outside in the cave for a minute. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a little convincing, Ellia came with me back inside and we went to her bedroom to hang out. This way, I could keep an eye on her and make sure she really wasn’t responsible for killing those villagers, but it was on her home turf where she would feel safe. I was pretty convinced she was different from other Wraith but it didn’t change the fact she did have a feeding hand and could use it any time she wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got back to the cave and gave my report to Zaddik, hoping he might be able to give us a little more to go on than another Wraith is out there. At the very least I needed to get Ronon and use his tracking skills to hunt the damn thing down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You see? I told you she wasn’t responsible for the killings. The serum makes it unnecessary for her to feed,” Zaddik told me. I looked over at Beckett who was behind his computer, working away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you confirm that?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not yet. It’ll be a while before I can complete my analysis,” Beckett responded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right. Well in the meantime, there’s another Wraith out there,” I said and then glanced around the room. I furrowed my brow. “Where’s O’Neill?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s in there playing make believe with that thing,” Ronon said. Zaddik and I both shot him a look for being so distasteful, although Zaddik’s was much more severe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe Ellia may be able to help us find it,” Teyla said, stepping in before we had another fight on our hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?” Zaddik asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I speak with her?” Teyla asked and he nodded, allowing her to go off to the Wraith girl’s bedroom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right,” he said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t like the idea of Evelyn spending so much time with this Wraith girl. This was her first encounter with one and I didn’t want it warping her view of them. I also didn’t like the idea this Wraith might snap at any time and try to eat her. I glanced towards the slightly ajar bedroom door where the three women were and sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Confessions of a Teenage Wraith Queen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“May I join you?” Teyla asked, coming into the room and announcing her presence. I smiled at her and Ellia looked at me for reassurance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright,” I told her and she looked back at Teyla and nodded. Teyla came in and took Ellia’s other side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia, we need your help. You can sense the other Wraith,” Teyla said and Ellia ducked her head away from her. I put a comforting hand on hers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is all right. It is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I have the same ability,” Teyla explained and Ellia perked up a little. She looked between the two of us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I sensed you in the forest, when you were watching us. And I knew even then that you were different, your father had raised you well. He has taught you right from wrong. You are not like the other one,” Teyla explained. Ellia still looked worried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t let him in. I don’t like what he shows me,” she explained and I laced my fingers with her, holding her hand gently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, but you have to try. Now, we need to find him,” Teyla explained and Ellia squeezed my hand. I gave it a squeeze back and smiled at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ll be right here with you, nothing’s going to happen,” I assured her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t understand,” Ellia said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have tried myself, but I can get nothing. Please,” Teyla tried again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right,” Ellia relented and she sat between us with her eyes closed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Now, concentrate,” Teyla instructed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right,” Ellia breathed, squeezing my hand one more time. I watched her sit motionless for a few moments before her eyes popped back open, she shook her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Try again,” Teyla told her. I nodded at her and she closed her eyes again, staying wherever she was for a few moments longer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I saw a river,” Ellia told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so proud of you,” I told her. “You did really well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will that be helpful?” Ellia asked. Teyla nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We will see,” she said and headed back out into the central area of the cave. I smiled at Ellia and then let go of her hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for helping her,” I said and Ellia smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just wanted to help you,” she told me honestly and I smiled a lopsided smile at her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellia wanted to show me her book collection next and she told me all about which were her favourites and why. She handed me one she thought I’d like and insisted I read it right then. I smiled at her and opened it up, scanning over the characters. I didn’t want to tell her I had no idea what language this was in and couldn’t read it so I smiled and nodded and occasionally flicked through the pages when I thought it was the right time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s your favourite character?” I asked and she smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The female lead,” she said. “She’s nice and kind to everyone and everyone loves her. She gets to go on adventures out in the woods and she’s the leader of all her friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She sounds pretty cool,” I said. “Does she have a love interest?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She doesn’t need one,” Ellia told me excitedly. “She has all the love she needs from her friends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s sweet,” I told her. I went back to pretending to read when I overhead Beckett and Zaddik talking in the next room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me ask you something. If you can prove to everyone that I'm telling the truth, that Ellia no longer needs to feed, do you think the villagers would accept her?” Zaddik asked and I glanced at Ellia. I couldn’t tell if she was listening or reading her book. “That’s what I’m afraid of. No matter how hard we try to convince them, they’ll always see her as a monster. I’m getting old, doctor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you’ve got lots of time,” Beckett told him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Never have as much as we think you have. And when I'm gone, she'll be alone. I…tried to teach her about love and human companionship. But that's exactly what she'll never have,” Zaddik said and I felt so bad for Ellia. She looked sadder now, she was definitely listening. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Zaddik, there's something I want to show you. I didn't say anything at first, because I didn't want to get your hopes up,” Beckett said. Of course, that retrovirus he was working on while I was in the hospital. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a retrovirus… something I’ve been working on,” Beckett explained </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s a retrovirus?” Ellia asked me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, retro can mean immative of something or a denoting action that is directed backward or is reciprocal,” I started. “So a retrovirus is like a virus but it used to take away a specific part of something, or change something back to the way it was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, God. How am I going to explain this? Part of Ellia is human, and part of her comes from a creature we call the iratus bug. It's the part that makes her look the way she does and where her desire to feed comes from. Now, it's possible, by means of this retrovirus, we can strip away those parts, and leave only the human parts behind,” Beckett explained in the next room when Raddik said he didn’t understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You mean she could be like you and me?” Zaddik asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Now, I must warn you, the retrovirus is still experimental. In fact, it's only been tested on cell cultures in a laboratory, and so far, without much success. I'm hoping that what we can learn from your daughter will help me perfect it,” Beckett explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard running footsteps into the cave and McKay panting. I looked back out the slightly ajar door but couldn’t hear what they were saying. The three men rushed outside and Ellia and I exchanged a look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are they going? What’s happening?” Ellia asked me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” I told her. I bit my lip. “I can go check but I need you to stay here, where you’ll be safe, alright? Things are getting heated around town and I don’t want someone from there finding you and hurting you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. I pushed myself up and tousled her hair, running out of the room and out of the cave all together. I jogged through the forest and got low when I saw McKay, Beckett and Zaddik laying on the ground watching a team of villagers mount a search party through the forest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be watching the Wraith!” McKay scolded at a whisper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She sent me to find out what’s going on under the promise she’d stay put,” I replied. “Also, no one told me anything, how was I supposed to know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could have radioed!” he said and he was right, I could have but I’d forgotten. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So could you!” I bit back. He looked back at me sheepishly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I forgot,” he said and I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re moving back now anyway, Sheppard wants us to keep an eye on her and stay in the cave,” Beckett told me. Staying low we backed away from the hill we’d been perched on and hurried back towards the old mine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia? Ellia?” Zaddik called and I went to her room to check if she was hiding. I shook my head. “She’s not here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good Lord,” I heard Beckett say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” McKay asked immediately and I turned to the lab bench. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She took the retrovirus,” Beckett said. Shit. That wasn’t good. Did she plan this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said it wasn’t ready,” Zaddik said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not, not by a long shot,” Beckett said and I bit my lip.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’ll it do to her?” Zaddik asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To be honest, I have no idea,” Beckett answered. He reached for his radio. “Colonel Sheppard, come in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go ahead,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>John replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve got another problem. Ellia’s gone, and she’s injected herself with the retrovirus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why would she do that?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She must’ve overheard us talking about it. I told Zaddik it might be the key to making her human,” Beckett explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She did, she asked me what a retrovirus was,” I explained </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look, Ronon says we’re close. If we lose the trail now, we may never catch the Wraith,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> John said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, you’ve got to find her before the villagers do,” Zaddik said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney and I will find her,” Beckett said into the radio. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“All right, but be careful,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Sheppard said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Understood,” Beckett signed off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come with you,” Zaddik said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I think it’s best if you stay here,” Beckett said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look, is there anywhere that she likes to go—any favorite hiding spots or favorite places?” McKay asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, she often goes off for hours at a time, up into the hills. I don't like it, but she doesn't listen to me,” Zaddik said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a start,” Beckett said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What will I do?” Zaddik asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and O’Neill are going to stay here in case she comes back,” Beckett said. “I’ll radio with any updates,” he told me and I nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Zaddik and I sat at the lab table, he was distraught, head resting in his hands as we waited for any word. Feeling bad I went over to the kitchen and reheated some of the tea Ellia had made. I brought him over a terracotta cup and he accepted it gratefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” he said and I smiled softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” I told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, thank you for how you’ve treated my daughter, what you’ve been doing to help her,” he said. “It means the world to me that someone will look after her if something happens to me. She won’t be alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on,” I said. I had agreed to no such thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Father,” I heard in the doorway and saw Ellia standing there, looking distressed. Zaddik turned to her with an empathetic dad look on his face. I reached for my radio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia’s back,” I said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good, we’ll make our way back,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Beckett said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, where did you go?” he said, making his way over and wrapping her in his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was hiding,” she explained. “I didn’t want the others to know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To know what? Ellia, why did you take the retrovirus?” Zaddik asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I don’t want to be this way anymore. I hate what I am,” she sobbed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh sweetheart,” I said softly. That was the problem, I supposed, with teaching a Wraith to have feelings and emotional attachments to people. To raise them completely alien to the Wraith way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked over to her and put a gentle hand on her upper arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You shouldn't hate yourself,” I said. “Because why? Because you’re different? You are smart, and kind and funny too. Our differences are what make us special.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you heard what Dr Beckett said, you know the retrovirus isn’t ready,” Zaddik said softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had no choice,” Ellia said. “When they kill the other Wraith, I won’t be able to pretend anymore.” Oh shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pretend what?” Zaddik asked. Oh shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time… your serum doesn’t work, father. It never has,” she explained. Oh shit. Oh shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s impossible,” he smiled reassuringly.  “it’s been two years since you... Since the last time. That wasn’t your fault, it was my idea. I needed time to perfect the formula,” Zaddik said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But it wasn’t working. The hunger just… got worse,” she explained. Probably the energy requirement of staving off the poison her dad was feeding her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you do?” Zaddik demanded, realisation on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Father,” Ellia said. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable about being here alone with them and hoped Beckett and McKay got back soon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No, that was the other one,” Zaddik justified, trying to explain it away to himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was both of us. I sensed him out there. I knew when he was feeding, and I would go out at the same time,” she explained. Clever girl. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No, it can’t be,” Zaddik argued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Poor guy, he gave 10 years of his life to her, lived in a cave and ostracised himself from his village, and worked tirelessly to find her a cure, and she repaid him by eating his friends and neighbours. Parenting I guess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellia let out a pained grunt and doubled over. Zaddik and I both reached out to her in surprise and she shoved us back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia?” Zaddik asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay away!” She warned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it? What’s happening?” he asked, desperately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Side effects from the retrovirus,” I concluded and watched her grimacing. She gripped the wooden lab bench and her hand started to change colour. It was dark purple. The colour change spread up her arm to her face and she let out a screech. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me help you,” he said and she shoved him away. I grabbed him to stop him from falling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” she yelled and ran out the door. I pressed my ear piece. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s running, the retrovirus is doing some weird shit to her,” I said and checked Zaddik. He nodded he was okay and I took off at a run, chasing her through the forest. “I’m in pursuit.” She was massively faster than me and all I was able to do was keep her in sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright, be careful. And don’t hesitate to shoot if the situation turns,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>John told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I mean it, O’Neill,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he said and I decided to poke that one later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard gunshots go off. In the distance I could see Beckett and McKay struggling with the Wraith. Suddenly, Ellia tackled him to the ground, wrestling with him. It gave me the opportunity to catch up and I held my P90 up, watching the fight. I didn’t want to shoot Ellia, but I would if I had to.She snapped the other Wraith’s neck and then stood up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good girl, you protected McKay,” I said. “Now come with us,” I said. One of her eyes had gone red and she growled at us. “It’s okay, I promise,” I told her and she ignored me, lunging at McKay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Easy, now. You went through the trouble to save my life. It’d be a shame to kill me,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia,” I warned, cocking my gun. Seeing her making no move to stop, I made my decision. Just as I was about to squeeze the trigger I heard a shot go off and a bullet whizz past me. Beckett had shot her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got her in the shoulder,” I announced just as Ellia ran off, probably to go lick her wounds. “Fuck,” I said running off after her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ronon, Teyla and I took off at the sound of nearby gunshots. My mind jumped straight to Evelyn who I knew was chasing her. At least, if there were gunshots, I knew she was fighting the Wraith, not about to be eaten by her. I didn’t know why she was so compassionate towards the girl anyway. Everyone else was suitably wary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I paused in the woods, as did Ronon and Teyla when we heard the earth shatteringly loud sound of what must have been Ellia screaming. I took off running again, one thing on my mind. Evelyn was alone with that thing and she’d never fought one before. Evelyn was in pursuit of that thing she still thought was a friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We came to a halt again as I saw a crowd of villagers stopped in the forest. Pushing past I saw McKay and Beckett crouched near a wounded Zaddik. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s another one of those things out there,” the Barkeep (Callum?) said, approaching. “Look what it did to Zaddik. I say we go after it, now!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No one’s going anywhere. We’ll handle this. Stay calm,” I told him and then moved over to McKay. “How is he?” I asked and McKay turned to look down at Zaddik and Beckett. The doc climbed to his feed and walked over, speaking in a low voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve given him something for the pain, but his injuries are too severe. He’s not going to make it,” Beckett told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This can’t be happening. It’s not possible,” Goran said, staring down at his prematurely aged son. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Zaddik said on the floor, shaking as he struggled to breathe. Don't blame Ellia. It was my idea. You…have to have to understand…that when I found her, I'd just lost my own wife and son to a fever,” he said, going into an explanation. “She was just lying there, helpless. When I saw her, I knew what I had to do. As I told you, in the beginning, she survived on food and water like any young girl. “She took what she needed from me to survive…until I perfected the serum.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She never fed on anyone after that?” I asked, furrowing my brow in suspicion. I sound it pretty hard to believe. This whole damn situation was hard to believe. He paused, whether it was injuries or hesitation I didn’t know. But I was pretty sure it was the latter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he said, breaking eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right. Teyla, Ronon, you're with me. The rest of you, stay here,” I commanded, pushing forward up the hill.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colonel,” Beckett called, making me pause and turn. “the retrovirus is acting quickly. The human part of her is almost gone.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said she killed the other Wraith and saved McKay's life,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, but I'm not sure she knew what she was doing. She's operating on a purely animal level right now,” Beckett explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is there nothing you can do for her?” Teyla asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might be able to reverse the effects, if you bring her back alive, but I doubt she'll cooperate. She's also stronger and faster than any Wraith I've ever seen,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great,” I said sarcastically. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you hanging around for?” McKay demanded. “O’Neill is in pursuit, </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” Ronon said, and the three of us broke away from the crowd in a hurried pursuit of the two women. We searched the forest, Ronon taking lead as he tried to establish tracks. Find any sign one of them may have left behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Colonel, this is Beckett,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard in my radio. I slowed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” I replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Zaddik’s dead,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Beckett told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Understood.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teyla pushed ahead of me to continue searching and I paused when I saw Ronon standing still by a tree. He was staring off at something, nothing maybe. Was he listening? He turned back to face me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She knows we’re here,” he said calmly. He started walking towards me and back in the direction Teyla went. “She’s watching us.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Ellia knew we were here, that led to the question, what had she done to Evelyn? I scanned the trees around, looking for Ellia, expecting her to leap out at any moment. Teyla was standing off on her own, eyes closed as she scanned telepathically for the Wraith girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia?” She called out, opening her eyes. “We want to help you,” she called out, starting to move again. “Dr Beckett can make you better, but you have to come with us. We will not hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some leaves rustled and Teyla whipped around quickly. Ronon and I heard it too, we turned where we stood. There was an inhuman growl and Ellia leapt out of the bushes, lunching at Teyla. We broke out in a run. Teyla hit the ground in a struggle with the Wraith. Teyla gained the upper hand and threw Ellia off.  We caught up just in time to catch Ellia making a break for it. Ronon fired off a shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Die!” he screamed. Ellia let out an awesome growl. She ran off, heading back, presumably to where she came from. Ronon and I squatted beside an unconscious Teyla, he put a hand under the back of her head and it came back bright red with blood. “She took a blow to the head when it hit her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay with her,” I ordered him. I needed to deal with this thing and then go find Evelyn. I ripped off my jacket balling it and tucked it under Teyla’s head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard,” Ronon started and I didn’t have time to argue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s an order,” I said, running off, closing my vest as I did. I heard screaming. I ran harder. “O’Neill!” I cried out. While screaming wasn’t exactly good, it meant she was, at least, alive. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haha you bitch! That’s the wrong arm,” I heard Evelyn shout. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I caught up to see the two of them fighting. Evelyn wrestling her wooden arm out of Ellia’s grasp like you would a pitbull with a chew toy. Evelyn kicked out in front of her, making Ellia stumble and Evelyn brought her head back, slamming her forehead into the other girl’s. Ellia shrieked. If the two would hold still enough I could get off a shot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, Ellia threw Evelyn a few feet back, and onto the ground. Evelyn coughed, trying to push herself up but failing. I cocked my P90. I paused, remembering what Beckett had said. Ellia growled, staring down at Evelyn like she was wounded prey. I guessed she was. Evelyn scooted back hurriedly on her elbows using her feet to push her further. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ellia? Don’t make me do this,” I warned, drawing her attention to give Evelyn time to get up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellia growled, crouching low before she surged forward. She leapt up on top of a fallen tree, the one I’d been standing behind when I’d caught up to the fight. Ellia screamed and I fired a stream of bullets. She leapt off the log at me and tackled me to the ground, knocking my gun out of my hand. I pulled my combat knife, jerking my arm out to stab her when she grabbed my forearm. I shook with the pain, gritting my teeth and trying not to cry out. Where the hell was Evelyn? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Chow down on someone else!” I heard Evelyn call out and then a barrage of machine gun fire. Ellia screamed and looked like she was going to lunge at her and I kicked her back, rolling out of the way and running for my machine gun. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn continued to fire and I joined her, making Ellia turn back towards her. There was a back and forth as we saturated the area with gunfire. The Iratus hybrid almost didn’t know which one of us to go for. Holding one arm steady as I continued to fire, I used the other to reach for my side arm. I pulled it and fired a singular shot to the head, finishing the job. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ellia’s body dropped to the ground in between us and Evelyn looked over at me, scanning for injury. She looked at my arm and jerked back in shock. It wasn’t that bad. I took a step and wavered, a little woozy. Evelyn rushed forward, catching me as I stumbled, almost hitting the ground. She lowered me to the ground, looking at me worriedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you hurt?” she asked, distress sounding in her voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m alright,” I told her and she burst into tears. I furrowed my brow. I thought O’Neill was meant to be tough. She was covered in dirt, blood and bruises but I was the reason she was crying? Unless this was more of that stuff to do with why she was mad at McKay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so, so sorry,” she sobbed. She held my wounded arm in her hand. “Look at you! I should have taken the shot earlier. I shouldn’t have even left her to check on McKay and Beckett. She’d never have been alone to take the virus. This is all my fault!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled her hand away and stared down at the blood spilling over her palm and down her own arm. Maybe it was a little worse than I thought. She cried harder, guilt all over her face. I suppose everyone’s reaction to a feeding Wraith was different. I usually went for anger, wanting to brutally kill anything that hurt the people I was in charge of. But Evelyn wasn’t in charge of me, she felt guilty because I was her CO who got injured protecting her. I didn’t want her to feel guilty. I had a shot and I took it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” she said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” I told her. “I need you to stop crying and calm down. We’re still miles away from the jumper.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, looking down for a moment and taking a few breaths. She wiped at her eyes with her forearm, using the only space free of blood to wipe away the tears. She smeared eyeliner across her cheeks in their wake, and got some drops of blood on her face anyway. Looking at her, she seemed like she’d calmed down enough to reason with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” I told her. “I need you to help me up. We’re miles away from the jumper and we’ve got to get back to the others first.” I made a move to get up but she pushed me back down, hard. She shook her head at me. “I can do it,” I assured her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” she told me. “But you’re bleeding. We’ve got to address this first.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Alright,” I agreed. If she was making that call, I knew she was back with me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled a field dressing out of her vest and pulled my arm towards her. She unfurled the dressing and hooked one end into the notch I’d made in her thumb for her this morning. She skillfully wrapped the dressing tight around my feeding wound, and then manipulated her prosthetic until she’d tied it tightly. It was amazing how much quicker one simple change had made in her ability to do basic things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you need help getting to your feet?” she asked and I nodded. She ducked under my arm and helped push me to a standing position. I walked a few steps without her and she scurried beside me, turning every few moments to make sure I didn’t drop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was the aftermath of the feeding,” I told her. “I’m over the dizziness, I’ve not lost nearly enough blood to pass out. Don’t worry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’m gonna worry,” she assured me, like I was some kind of idiot. “You’re my team, I care about you. But I’m not about to fall apart,” she smiled. “Sorry I lost it back there. I just… It’s bad when someone you care about is in danger, it’s worse when you put them there. Even if you tell me it’s not my fault, or it was your choice. It’s not a good feeling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It really isn’t your fault,” I told her. “And I don’t want you feeling guilty. You’re right, we are a team and sometimes we take hits for each other. But that’s not reason enough to blame yourself, or take all the responsibility. You see Ronon or McKay or Teyla doing that? You think they’re losing sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m a worrier,” I shrugged. “It’s a big sister thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that why you were so nice to Ellia?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s why I was so quick to believe Zaddik, when I should have known better,” she explained. “I’ve never seen a wraith before and when she ran into the arms of her father, I just saw a scared little girl. It was so unlike the Wraith I’d read and heard about when I was offered another option I just took it. My protective instincts kicked in and I started treating her like I would any other child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s sweet,” I told her and she rolled her eyes. “I doubt the Wraith are capable of feeling it but I’m sure they’ll at least find the love and support amusing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it was all an act?” she asked. I looked at her. “She was always just some predator?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think she really did care about Zaddik,” I replied. “But she was a predator. It’s like taming a lion. It might show affection towards it’s keeper but at the end of the day it’s still a lion. If hungry they will bite.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Schrödinger's Puncture Wound</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I brought the Jumper down easy in the bay, aligning the park up before opening the door and Becket got up, rushing towards the medical team that was heading in with a gurney. Much to his protests, John was thrown onto it and wheeled away while McKay winged the entire time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I jogged beside them towards the medbay while John lay, strapped in under the blanket they'd put on him, and grumbled. If the situation wasn’t as serious as it was, I would have laughed. He was so cute when he was annoyed. He looked at his arm and the dressing I’d put on. Blood was seeping through the other side it was so saturated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This really isn’t necessary, Doc,” John said and I smiled. Yes it was, John.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it is. You’ve got a serious laceration on your arm, and you’ve lost a good deal of blood,” Beckett told him as he was wheeled into the medbay finally. McKay walked in bitterly behind us, scowling as he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, enjoy the ride, Colonel. They’re making me walk,” he said indignantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have a splinter, Rodney,” Beckett said and I snickered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a very nasty, painful splinter,” McKay reasoned, inspecting his hand and jumping up on the neighbouring bed. I hopped up beside him and peaked at his hand while Beckett worked on John.  He showed me his hand and I blew on the sore spot softly, the same way I would my little brother when he skinned his hands playing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, let’s take a look at this,” Beckett said and cut the field dressing off his arm. “Thank you,” he said softly to a nurse who handed him a medicated swab. “This might hurt a wee bit,” he said and touched the swab to John’s puncture wound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>McKay cried out beside me as a nurse pulled on the sprinter in his hand. John looked over and I rolled my eyes, offering my right hand to Rodney to squeeze. He grabbed it as the nurse wrestled with his splinter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sure it will,” John said, looking at Rodney disapprovingly. Beckett cleaned the cut some more and looked up at John surprised. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This doesn’t sting?” Beckett asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” John replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you have a high threshold for pain, but this is…” Beckett said, switching the swab for gauze and wiping the area, trailing off. I looked down at the wound. John watched my face change and turned back to his arm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is what?” John asked, trying to see over Beckett to get a look. I was as shocked as the doctor was. I was there, I saw the wound myself, I dressed it. It was definitely bleeding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” John asked, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The feeding mark. It’s completely healed,” Beckett explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John looked up and over at us, who were staring back with just as much confusion. I’d seen him bleed. He should still be. Beckett started ordering about his staff, getting ready to draw some of his blood. He stood beside him and started working, planning on running tests.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can someone check over Captain O’Neill, please?” Beckett said, pointing and clicking his fingers at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me? I’m fine,” I said before he raised a skeptical eyebrow at me and John smirked. I was dragged off by a junior doctor and behind several curtains, where I was made to strip off a few layers for a physical. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I tugged off my vest, jacket, and overshirt, leaving me in my tank. The Dr yanked my arm off unceremoniously and without warning. I raised an eyebrow of my own at them, and they quickly apologised. They nodded at me to do my trousers after looking at my ripped knees and thighs. I thumbed the button and tugged the zipper down before hopping up on the bed to kick off my boots. I scooted them down my legs and the doc got to quick work sanitizing all my scrapes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They bandaged my knees and put a few coloured band aids here and there. Soon I had to lift my tank top while they inspected my back and cleaned some surface cuts there as well. Eventually they finished on my face and told me I could dress again. I looked at the rather destroyed trousers and they disappeared for a second, coming back with a pair of white hospital pants in my size. I didn’t think I’d been in here often enough that they’d memorised my size, and it only made me feel worse I didn’t remember their name. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I headed back to where I’d left Sheppard and McKay to find Rodney gone and John moved elsewhere. Beckett had set him up in a place he could draw blood for testing as was working on that when I approached and hopped up next to John. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe the wound wasn’t that bad,” Sheppard suggested and I knew he himself didn’t believe it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then where did all the blood come from?” Beckett countered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know. Maybe it just looked a lot worse than it was,” he said and I pulled an unimpressed face at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see any evidence of any cut at all,” Beckett said. John turned to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s weird because it hurt like hell,” he told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re sure the skin was broken?” Beckett asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m pretty sure. There was a lot of blood. Ask O’Neill, she dressed it,” John said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was covered in it,” I agreed. “There was definitely a cut.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it was Ellia’s,” John suggested and I thought about her. It was possible that it could be hers, maybe it was a symptom of her not being able to feed yet trying to. But I’d seen the same puncture wound as was documented in various reports I’d read. John had had a cut. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was definitely human,” Beckett argued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, maybe it was a nosebleed,” John said, getting annoyed. I smiled, and tried to lighten the mood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe it was something you ate,” I said and Beckett glared at me. John smiled appreciatively at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not helping, O’Neill,” Beckett said. I grinned toothily at him. “Give me half a day to run your blood work and analyze it with the data we already have. We’ll figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And until then?” John asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re welcome to look over my shoulder,” Beckett said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that’s tempting, but…” John said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just go about your day,” he said, before turning to me. “And you, go away and find someone else to pester.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I giggled as I left, following John out the door. I headed to the lab for a little bit, seeing Rodney walking around with an excessive amount of bandages on his hand and laughed. He glared at me and I made him show me. He’d obviously done it himself, and I shook my head as I rolled the bandages back off. I adjusted the gauze underneath and wrapped the cut where the nurse had carefully sliced around the splinter barbs. I cut the bandage to size and pressed my lips against them when I was finished, kissing his boo boo better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re hilarious,” he told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that not better?” I asked and he huffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s with the thumb?” Rodney asked, changing the subject. I looked down at the wooden arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I had John carve it yesterday morning,” I said. “Why we were late coming down to breakfast. The notch makes it easier to do things like tie my shoelaces, bandages, field dressings. That kind of thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” he replied and then went back to what he was doing before I interrupted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I rolled my eyes, telling him I was going to grab a bite to eat. He scurried after me, and I smirked. Like a puppy, Rodney was highly food motivated. I found the team at the usual table and came over with a tray. John sat across from me looking up every now and then and sending me a look. I sent a similar one back finding my mind wandering occasionally back to the tavern. I felt his outstretched legs brush against mine occasionally and I looked down at my food and smiled. Every time I looked up I spied him watching me with a devilish smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Out of the corner I noticed McKay trying to get my attention. I looked over at him and he scowled at me. I raised a brow. I reached over and poked him in the nose, making him swat my hand away. I did it again. And again. Eventually the whole table was laughing as we nearly got into a pretty slap fight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I did notice, however whatever he’d been upset about, he’d perked up considerably. He seemed to get upset whenever I gave any of our friends more attention than him. Was he… jealous? I smiled to myself. I suppose when you’re a highly arrogant, socially inept scientist it’s hard to make good friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After breakfast John and Teyla went to spar in the training room as was their weekly custom and I grinned to myself, thinking about how it was the weekly ceremony of Teyla handing his ass to him. Ronon and McKay stayed at the table, still eating. I made my way back to my quarters, intent on a short, 30-40 minute nap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rodney POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, did you see her?” I exclaimed, seeing Ronon picking away at his food, barely giving me any attention. “She was grinning at him like a lovesick schoolgirl, and she’s only going to get hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think he’d hurt her,” Ronon told me, glancing up from his plate. I soured at him. “He doesn’t sound much like this... Captain Kirk of yours. And if he was, don’t you think O’Neill is old enough to make her own decisions?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” I called out. “She’s eleven years younger than him, she’s, she’s naive and sweet. He he just sleeps with anyone who’ll throw themselves at him. Happens all the time, all the girls we run into on missions are all over him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you ever considered it might be because he’s not annoying?” Ronon asked and I glared at him, pushing my tray forward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m just saying, he should leave her alone. She deserves better,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you think you can give it to her?” Ronon smirked. I frowned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, I never said that..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t have to. Everyone can see how you feel, McKay, you’re not subtle,” he told me. Everyone…? “Look, you and Sheppard both have feelings for her and if you want to be the winner you need to make a move. The reason O’Neill is grinning like a schoolgirl around him is because he’s brave enough to do something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pushed myself up in the blankets, feeling better rested after the lack of sleep last night while I was flying the Jumper back to Atlantis. I mean, that was a good thing, not being asleep at the wheel of the Jumper, but now I had energy, I felt jumpy. Like I was still reeling from the mission. I decided to head to the training room, figuring Ronon would be there by now and maybe I could invite him to kick my ass a little. You know, a recreational ass kicking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I made my way there, walking inside finding John pinning Teyla to the wall by her throat. I raised an eyebrow. Teyla was staring up at him, shocked. I’m assuming because he actually managed to get a hit in on her, instead of being dropped to the floor, bruised, like he usually was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Should we continue or..?” she said, looking up at him staring at her. I cleared my throat and his head snapped to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” I said awkwardly. He smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn, what are you doing down here?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Figured I could use some more sparring practice,” I said. “I’m still getting back up to my old skill level. And I need to get used to fighting with this,” I waved my prosthetic.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll train with you for a bit, if we’re done here, Teyla,” John offered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not think there is any more I can teach you today,” she said. “Continue to practice and we will pick this up again next week.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teyla hurried out and I walked onto the blue mats, rolling my shoulders. He circled, waiting for me to be ready. I held my own against Ronon in this setting before, granted, it was because he was going easy on me, I just needed to hold my own against John too. I was upset at how Ellia had managed to get me on my ass so many times. And how fast she’d been, maybe when I was running with Cadman I’d need to start pushing myself harder, faster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You ready?” John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded and surged forward, swinging a hit out which he quickly blocked. He stepped forward, directing his own hit, I blocked, taking a step back and holding my position. And so, like with Ronon, the dance began. For every advance I made he made one of his own, pushing me back. He wasn’t as skilled as Ronon but he had lightning fast reflexes, and every move I made trying to get one over on him he caught and stopped. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was getting frustrated, I liked to win when I was sparring, maybe I was too competitive. There was something about the way John was looking at me while we trained, it was like he was barely paying attention to the fight, every move was reactionary and his attention was solely on me. I could feel my heart beat faster. He looked like he wanted to eat me. I just might let him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel some sweat rolling down my spine, it made me shudder. He pushed me back and I tried to counter, but for some reason I couldn’t, like he’d just been letting me do it earlier and now the game had grown old. Now he was done toying with me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly, he had me backed up against the wall. I hit it with a thud and I breathed heavily as I gazed up at him. He stared down at me like a predator and I almost shook beneath him. It was no secret I enjoyed his company, his touches always made my heart jump a little, but under the look he was giving me right now, every touch set me on fire. I hadn’t realised how much this feeling had built since our first close encounter on the Daedalus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright?” He asked, smirking slightly as he looked down at me, chest heaving. My jaw wobbled a little, unable to speak at first. “We can take a break if you need.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A break is the last thing I need,” I muttered without thinking and he grinned. Sweat was making my bangs stick to my face and he swept his pinky under them, brushing the hair behind my ear. He leaned closer and my breath hitched as he did. I could feel heat pooling in my stomach.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know what I need?” He asked and I bit my lip, My pulse hammered in my ears. I could barely hear him when he spoke, but I knew what he was asking.  I swallowed thickly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some idea..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you now?” He said smugly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do it,” I dared and he dove forward, connecting his lips with mine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted, no longer pinning me to the wall like I was some alien intruder and instead holding me tightly, pressing me to his chest. He kissed me hard, one hand in my hair the other cupping my jaw. I gripped his t-shirt with my hand and I felt his knee pushing my thighs apart. I parted my lips, sliding my tongue over his lips. He opened his mouth invitingly and I made quick work of slipping inside. I ran my tongue over the roof of his mouth and he moaned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We should..” I gasped, pulling back and fighting to regain my rational mind. My thoughts were swimming, I didn’t want to stop. But we were in public. Anyone could walk into the training room at any moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to stop?” He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want to get out of here,” I answered and he groaned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My place or yours?” He said, sliding a hand around my waist and pulling me towards the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re closer,” I said, hurrying along the corridors, trying to keep to a walking pace but also distracted and eager by the hand slipping under the hem of my shirt, and stroking the skin of my hip. I tried to stop myself from shuddering, his fingers causing goosebumps to form on my skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wiped his hand by the door, commanding it open and I made quick work of his t-shirt, throwing it to the side. I ripped my own off, leaving me in a bra and shorts. He groaned again as he stared me up and down, making my core throb, and pulled me towards him. His lips were on mine again and I kissed him back with fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt his hands over the back of my bra, fingers struggling with the back. I pulled back enough to bring my hand between us and unhook the clasp. It opened with a snap and the cups fell to the side. He hummed appreciatively and pulled the straps off my shoulders and off to the floor. He gripped my thighs and lifted me up off the floor, holding me to his waist. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pressed into me and I moaned at the feeling, tugging desperately at the waistband of my shorts. John chuckled and let me throw them off as he dropped me onto the bed. I dropped down onto the plush twin and bounced a little on the springs. He stared down hungrily at me as I lay in only my underwear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You on birth control?” He asked. I tapped my arm and he grinned. “Perfect, it’s a little hard to get a hold of condoms this far out in the Pegasus.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For you maybe,” I chuckled. “I bet I could pull some strings.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet there’s a lot of things you could do,” he told me. “You wanna show me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re wearing too much clothes to get a real sense of what I can do,” I said. “We should fix that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In a bit,” he told me. “Right now, I’m hungry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dropped to his knees in front of me and pressed hot, wet kisses to my thighs as his fingers hooked into the waistband of my panties. I let out a giggle as his roaming hands tickled me and my panties slid past my ankles and hit the floor. He kissed his way up my shins and to my hips, nipping at the skin over the bones. He used his hands to move my thighs apart wider and pressed one hand to my pelvis, holding me to the bed. I heard the click of his tongue leaving his mouth and mere milliseconds later stroking me expertly. I threaded my fingers into his hair, making it messier than usual, which was saying something. I rolled my hips forward and my shoulders back, arching to the feeling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had flashes of another moment, something about this position made me think of another time with his head between my thighs, messy black hair between my fingertips. A different room, a different time, one I wasn’t sure existed. I hadn’t known John before this mission, had I? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slipped a finger inside and I moaned. Forget the questions, the moment was now. Another finger was added and then another. He worked quickly, but in no means less thoroughly. My eyes rolled back into my head as my hips snapped forward. There was a steadily rising heat in my abdomen, ready to spill over at any moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, John,” I said breathily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a dark chuckle between my legs, John pulled up to peek at my desperate face as my juices dribbled down his chin. His fingers continued to work me as he admired my almost pained expression. My brow creased and I writhed beneath him, desperate for sweet release. I parted my lips, letting out a breathy moan. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, don’t stop, John,” I gasped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt his lips on my thighs, leaving wet, open mouthed kisses anywhere he visited. He sucked a dark hickey just beside my hip and I cried out. He brought his mouth back to my pussy and tenderly licked my folds, tongue on a seek and search mission for my clit. He flicked over it, just under the hood and I jerked forward. So sensitive. I was whining, legs shaking, desperate for sweet release. He sucked on the bud, sending fireworks shooting up my body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, everything that had been building up for the last twenty minutes came to a peak, and then pushed me over the edge. It was like something snapped in me and a hot wave washed over my body. I let out a shuddering sigh at the sensation, having not felt something this intense in a long time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a good girl,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John was above me, smiling down at me and wiping some hair off my face before I realised what was happening. I’d stopped paying attention for a moment, shaken by the feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pushed up on my elbows and kissed him roughly, tasting myself on his lips. He pressed a hand into the mattress just behind me, propping himself up and trailed his other palm down my side. He reached my outstretched thigh and brought it up to rest by his hip. My nose brushed against his as we moved with the kiss and I trailed my hand down his back to find that at some point, he’d ditched his workout pants. I fingered the waistband to his boxer briefs and worked on pulling them down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were ripped off the rest of the way by him and he quickly aligned himself, thrusting inside with little warning. I moaned at the feeling, holding my hips to his. I used the thigh at his waist to flip us over and sat upright on his lap. He sat up to meet me and held me close to him. He buried his face between my breasts and held my shoulders close. I gripped the hair at the base of his neck with my hand and rocked my hips with his. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist as my back arched and my head dropped back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I moved my hips in a circle as I sat in his lap, holding him tightly to me with my thighs. I bounced on top of him, chasing another orgasm, determined to give him his first of the afternoon. He kissed up my neck and nipped at the skin of my jaw, just enough to feel a bite but not hard enough to mark. I tugged him away by the hair at his nape and leaned down to kiss him roughly on the lips. He moaned in my mouth as I traced his teeth with my tongue and held me tighter to him, if that was possible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You close?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I whined in response, unable to come up with anything intelligible, and nodded desperately. He slid a hand in between us as I continued to bounce on top of him. His hips thrust upwards to meet me on each motion and I kissed him desperately. I could feel him hitting me exactly where I wanted him to and it was intoxicating. I could feel myself clenching around him as my breath hitched. My eyes rolled back in my head again and he groaned into my lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh shit,” I said, thrusting forward, slamming my head into the crook of his neck as I came hard with a cry for the second time in an hour and a half. I leant my head back, staring up at the ceiling as I caught my breath, rocking my hips as I encouraged him to cum as well. With a few more final thrusts up into me, he came inside and rested his sweaty forehead on mine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked eventually and I nodded against him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I breathed and he slowly laid back onto the twin mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lifted my hips gently, pulling out of me and laying me down on top of him, chest to chest. I was overwhelmed with a wave of fatigue and closed my eyes as I buried my head in the pillow behind his head. I dropped in and out of consciousness, I know I did. I was missing chunks of time, but by the gentle breathing and the slow circles he was tracing on my bicep, it looked like John didn’t mind all that much. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Dinner, Movies and Moral Nihilism</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had a hand under my head as I stared up at the ceiling, slow, steady breath fanned over the hot flesh of my neck. My other arm was wrapped around her waist as we lay chest to chest. I was still reeling after what happened. That was interesting…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Absentmindedly, I traced her upper arm with my fingers as she dropped in and out of consciousness. I knew she never slept, so I had half a mind to let her sleep uninterrupted and just hold her, but I realised, this was the real world and something was bound to interrupt us at any moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard my radio sound and I sighed, ‘way to go, John,’ I thought. ‘Jinx yourself why don’t ya?’ I shifted slightly to reach for the radio and I heard her stirr slightly. I grabbed the radio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colonel Sheppard,” I said into the receiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colonel Sheppard, please report to the infirmary,” Beckett replied and I sighed. I looked down at the woman struggling to keep herself awake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I guess that’s my tests in,” I said and she rolled off of my chest, letting me get up and start throwing on a nearby uniform. I pulled up my pants and fixed the belt, staring down at her resting her face in my pillow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can stay here if you want, I won’t be long. Maybe we can pick this back up…” I suggested and she smirked up at me. She nodded in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’m game,” she said, leaning on her elbow. “Don’t be too long, because I might get bored here all by myself. And if I do, I’ll get started without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I groaned, just one quiet day in the Pegasus Galaxy, that’s all I’m asking. I threw my shirt on over my shoulders, doing up the buttons and hurried out of the room, having known Evelyn long enough to be able to take her at her word. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I made it five minutes later to find Weir and Beckett waiting for me in the Infirmary. Weir being here wasn’t a good sign. Still, they both smiled at me. Fingers crossed things went my way, just this once. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up to lips on mine, kissing me gently. At some point either I, or the person with very soft and gentle lips had rolled me over off my face. There was light stubble scratching at my skin in just the right way, I remembered the conversation I’d had just before John left and furrowed my brow in confusion. I opened my eyes to the low light and kissed him back softly. I was expecting a much more </span>
  <em>
    <span>enthusiastic </span>
  </em>
  <span>kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” I asked, pulling away. “That wasn’t really a ‘wake up and let’s fuck’ kind of kiss.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard him sigh and shift how he was sitting on the bed beside me. I propped myself up on my elbows to make eye contact with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beckett says I’ve got some weird Wraith infection from Ellia cutting me. He thinks it’s already breaking down in my system but I have to check in now every six hours. And I suspended myself from offworld activities,” he explained and I frowned. Poor guy, he was the kind to lead by doing and showing rather than telling from some chair. I smiled and tried to make light, cheer him up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better not give me some weird Wraith STD,” I joked, pointing at him warningly and he raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d prefer a normal one?” he asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I prefer the kind of activities that usually lead to one but with one minor alteration,”I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And what’s that?” he said and I smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not getting one,” I said and he chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He climbed over to rest above me and kissed me slowly but passionately. I moaned as his tongue flicked the surface of my mouth. There was the kind of kiss I was expecting. I reached up and expertly undid his buttons one handed and then slid his overshirt off his shoulders. He threw it on the table beside the bed and reached behind him to pull off his black t-shirt. I pressed my naked chest to his and felt the heat of his body against my own. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers slid down my spine and his lips walked across my neck, keeping a much slower pace than the feverish hookup we’d just had. I reached for his belt and unfastened it, pulling the zipper open. He stood, momentarily, and dropped his trousers to the ground along with his boxer briefs and climbed back on the bed, rolling me onto my side and settling behind me. He lay on his side and kissed over the back of my neck and shoulders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand slid over my hip and drew gentle circles as he leaned over me to meet my lips, capturing them in a kiss once again. I moaned as the hand on my hip slid down my thigh to slip underneath. His experienced fingers found my clit quickly and he traced soft, gentle circles and I shifted back into his hips. I could feel him, hard, behind me. I rested my neck on his shoulder as he kissed me deeply, muffling the sounds of pleasure escaping my lips. His fingers moved away and I whined at the loss of contact before he gripped my thigh again, lifting it up into the air and making room for him to slip inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His other arm slipped underneath me and he took hold of one of my breasts, massaging the flesh tenderly. He played with the nipple occasionally as he held one hand steady on my thigh, keeping the leg in the air. Comparatively, this was a much slower, more sensual experience than before, which had been two starved people climbing desperately onto a table, feast surrounding them. Now I could feel my eyes roll back into my head as he fucked me like I’d never see him again, like he was trying to burn every moment into his memory forever. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I breathed desperately, though what I wanted, I had no idea. He kissed me harder, swallowing up every moan as he rocked his hips into mine, hard. There was a throbbing ache between my legs, I shuddered with pleasure, I could feel my juices running down my thighs. He pounded me hard but slow and I felt like I was on fire. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” I begged and he chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hand he’d been using to play with my breasts walked slowly down my body, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake, fingers circling my clit as he reached his destination. I rolled my head back to rest on his shoulder as I whined desperately. A hot white heat washed over me and I came again. The continued, steady motion of his hips said he had no intention of stopping anytime soon, and that there would be many more orasms to come. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s my girl,” he whispered heavily in my ear, hot breath on the shell. I arched my back to him finding it difficult not to whine and moan. “Fuck you’re so good,” he said. “So good to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I cried. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed across my shoulders and thrust harder into me. He sped up the pace a little and I felt he was close. A hand gripped my hip hard enough to bruise and the other held my thigh as he rocked into me. I could hear the sound of skin slapping as he bounced off my ass and I moaned pronographically. I could feel the heat building in me again and I reached my hand down away from the sheets I’d been gripping and down to circle my swollen and throbbing clit. I shook as I came, clenching around him as he followed shortly thereafter.  He let out a cry in my ear and came hard into me for the second time today. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shifted his hips, pulling out of me and staying behind me as he wrapped both arms snuggly around me. He pecked my neck before he rested his head in the space between my head and shoulder, drifting off with light snores. Thanks to my many trips to the medbay, it was a comforting sound I was used to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran my fingers over the dark hairs on his forearm, enjoying moment of post orgasmic bliss, trying to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay. I liked him, he meant a lot to me and we were great friends but the bottom line? He was my boss. Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard was my CO and I regularly went on missions with him in the field. And now I had his swimmers pouring out of me as I napped in his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shifted so I was laying on my back, staring up at the ceiling. I’d need to have a talk with him about this at some point. I didn’t want to push it before anything really happened and I knew he wasn’t the kind of guy who would ruin my life over this, but it was still something we needed to get ahead of. I could see John watching me out of the corner of my eye and I sat up, turning away from him as I found my panties on the floor. My bra was over by the door and I stood to fetch it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Coming back in my underwear I knelt on the bed, crawling over to press a flirtatious kiss to his lips. He sat up and kissed me back before pulling away to dress himself. I leaned back against the pillows, it wasn’t just the thought of this hookup’s future on my mind, I also had the real time possibility of McKay throwing a tantrum because I’m not in the lab right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should probably be getting to the lab, I haven’t seen McKay in a while and he gets super antsy if he doesn’t hear from me,” I suggested softly. It was only a matter of time before he started asking questions about my whereabouts. He looked up from his chest and stopped doing up his uniform’s buttons. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you asking permission?” he grinned cheekily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I’m looking for a reason not to…” I smirked, tracing the bruised skin of my thigh with my fingers, having made no further movements to dress after putting on my underwear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get me wrong, I find your libido impressive,” he told me, slight smirk on his face. “But I also have responsibilities.” I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I told him. “I’m just messing with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pulled on the rest of my clothes, reattaching my arm and then tying up my sneakers. After leaving the Colonel’s quarters I made my way to a part of the base I had more reason to be on before I really relaxed and jogged the rest of the way to the lab. Thankfully, being in my workout gear gave me a reasonable excuse to be this sweaty meaning McKay probably wouldn’t ask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where the hell have you been?” McKay demanded as soon as I stepped through the door. I laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t it obvious?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard from Teyla you were in the gym with Sheppard but when I got there it was just Ronon. And that was hours ago… I bumped into Cadman and she said you weren’t with her. I thought you were avoiding me,” he said the last part rather quietly and I snorted, coming over and wrapping my arms around him, pinning him in a sweaty hug which he complained about the whole time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not avoiding you Rodney,” I told him softly. “I was just having a little private work out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Internally I smirked at my wording, that really </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> a workout. McKay and I were close, but I couldn’t tell him where I was, he wouldn’t understand. He was jealous about me spending time with anyone that wasn’t him, he was even jealous of Cadman. He wasn’t used to having friends I think.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well you should look at this,” he told me. He held out a tablet to me and I shook my head. This couldn’t be real. While I’d been gone Weir had approved the locations I’d scouted for my solar panels and miniature wind turbines as well as approved testing for the artificial gills Rodney had helped me with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Holy..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know!” he said back excitedly. “This is huge.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for coming to find me Rodney, I’m sorry you never caught me. This is actually amazing,” I told him and he beamed proudly at me. “I’m going to start scheduling this stuff and reserving equipment right now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Excitedly, I worked away on my tablet, filling out paperwork, making requests for different engineers time, finishing the designs. A few hours went by and McKay shook me out of my thoughts, dragging me off to the mess for dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Teyla said as I sat in front of her and Ronon at our usual table. “Rodney tells us news of your project. Are you excited?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I nodded. “Yeah it’s big. Might actually accomplish something during my team here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do not feel fulfilled?” Teyla asked. “I do not understand. Do the missions not give you some sense of achievement?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t exactly do much on those missions save for getting into trouble,” I replied. “And it’s more, the Air Force sent me here on the guise I’d make new technology for the benefit of Earth. My arm specifically, I was supposed to make it work, and I can’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have not been here that long, surely it has not been long enough for you to give up,” she argued, looking at me like I was an insane person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never said I’m giving up,” I said. “I just can’t figure it out so I’m moving on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you’re giving up,” Ronon said, giving me a knowing look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Neills don’t give up,” I replied. “So I’m putting it on pause.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds a lot like giving up,” Ronon smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, well, when I get another brainwave, then I’ll go back to it,” I shrugged and started stuffing food in my mouth to avoid conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn, good to see you out of the lab,” I heard John comment and looked up at him with a coy smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You hear about the project?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did,” he nodded. “Weir has suggested I escort you when you go location scouting, once this whole Wraith thing clears up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He spoke with a smile but I still flinched when he mentioned Ellia. I still felt incredibly guilty. I know I should have taken her down but I let my heart get in the way of what was really happening. I was a fool to think Ellia was anything more than a soul sucking monster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s with you?” McKay demanded, barely looking up from his second helping of jello. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” I dismissed. “I’ve got a few things to take care of back at the lab. I’ll see you later?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he agreed, puzzled, I didn’t give him time to think about it, instead moving my tray away and heading out. I </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to get better at fighting. I needed to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I was back in the lab I collected my tablet and decided I’d work better in my room. I couldn’t think straight on the damn wave powered generators I was trying to design because I couldn’t stop thinking about how John was taking me location scouting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was so conflicted, I liked John, besides McKay he felt like my best friend. I also like-liked John because he was cute, and funny, and he knew just the right way to touch me. But I also respected John, he was an amazing CO but that was part of the problem. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> CO. And even with all the conflicting feelings I had about him I still had to deal with the fact him getting hurt was my fault. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shook my head. I was getting no work done tonight. I lay on my back for a change, staring at the ceiling with my hand behind my head as I wrestled with my thoughts. I pushed myself up out of my bed and went to my adjoining bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t get my mind off of John while I shampooed my hair, washed suds off my skin and found myself leaning against the tiles staring off into space. Eventually I managed to convince myself to get out of the spray and dry myself off. I was towel drying my wet hair in some sweats when I heard the bell by my door go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s open,” I called and I heard it whoosh open moments later. I looked up from where I was leaning over, drying my hair, to see John walking into the room. I smiled softly at him before tossing my now soaking towel into the hamper beside the bathroom door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he greeted gently. “I see you’re still up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like you are too,” I commented, raising an eyebrow with a slight smirk. I couldn’t quite work out what it was that he’d shown up here for but I had some ideas.  He caught my look and rolled his eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Easy, I know what you’re thinking I’m here for, but that’s not it,” he said and paused. Bouncing an idea around in his head. “But I could be persuaded…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what are you here for?” I smiled and perched on the edge of my bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You left dinner kinda early,” he said. “You okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” I said, shaking my head and bringing a knee up to my chest. He frowned, coming over to sit on the bed beside me. He raised an eyebrow at me as I tried to give him a neutral, uncaring expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen, you can talk to me about anything, you know?” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I sighed. “There’s nothing bothering me..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look if this is about earlier I..” he started and I reached out, throwing an arm on his with an audible slapping sound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! No..” I said awkwardly. “No, it’s not that or anything to do with that at all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he said. I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I had fun earlier,” I explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.” He said, nodding. “It was certainly interesting…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You could call it that,” I scoffed. “No, I’m just… I’m mad actually. About Ellia. I’m mad at myself. I was just too quick to believe she wasn’t like the others and I kept trying to bring her back in after the retrovirus affected her badly when I should have just shot her. I had so many openings that I didn’t take, and because of that, you got hurt. Yeah, okay, you’re fine but you might not have been. And it was my calls regardless of what you were prepared to do, that put you in that situation. So I’m mad at myself about that, I feel guilty and I’m also annoyed I’m not as strong as I used to be. And that I’m training but it’s not coming back to me as easily as it used to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he said slowly, nodding. “That’s heavy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which is why I chose not to make it dinner table conversation,” I explained. He reached up and pushed some hair behind my ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t tell you not to feel guilty, or angry with yourself over your choices and your actions,” he started. “But I can tell you, that I’m not angry with you over your decision not to use lethal force until absolutely necessary. And I’m not angry with you because I decided to step in when I decided it was necessary and I don’t think you’re to blame that it became necessary. And as for you believing Ellia was different, I think she could have been, had the serum actually worked. And you shouldn’t be angry with yourself for still trying to see the best in people. The fact of the matter is, nothing happened. Rodney got a splinter, and everyone else is fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I’m actually a little bruised..” I pointed out, faking annoyance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That too,” he agreed, smiling. “And as for the training front, I’m always happy to give you some extra hours in the training room, practice with you. And I’m sure Ronon would be happy too, you held your own against him before, and he respects you for that. He likes you, not that he says much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just hope the next Wraith I see I can just shoot,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise you, next time you see a Wraith, you can shoot it,” he told me. “We don’t get many vegetarian Wraith in the Pegasus, I think we had a one off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll hold you to that,” I said with a wry smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down longingly at me, a flicker of movement between my eyes and my lips, once, twice, thrice. He pushed some hair behind my ear again and held a hand on my jaw. Just as he was about to pull his hand away I pushed up and forward, pressing my lips to his. He kissed me back softly, cupping my jaw and massaging the thumb of his other hand into the base of my neck. I moaned softly and he pushed me down onto my bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear I didn’t come over here for this,” he said, pulling back breathless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I believe you,” I replied. “Would you prefer we did something else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I would,” he said after a moment of thought. “If at all just to prove to you this isn’t all I want from you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know it’s not all you want from me, John, you’re my friend,” I said before I got up. I walked over to my desk and opened the drawer, pulling out a portable DVD player. I looked back at him with a smile and held up a DVD folder. I unzipped it and flicked through the pages. “So, Mars Attacks or The Mummy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mars Attacks,” he said and I beamed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good choice,” I replied and popped the DVD in the drive and pushed the button, watching it close again. I walked over with the small, laptop sized device and perched on the bed. He settled himself at the head of the bed, getting comfy amongst the pillows and I crawled up after him, laying down with my back against his chest. I lifted the portable DVD player onto our laps and hit the play button from the menu. There was shifting occasionally but by the time the ads had finished, and the movie was half way through, John was still. Either engrossed in the movie, or thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I’d loved this movie as a teenager, there was just something so simple and hilarious about a species of alien that could be defeated by yodelling. I’d started getting nightmares about Aliens after something I’d seen something I wasn’t supposed to and my dad took me to see it on one of his free weekends. Aliens could be scary, horrible threats, like the Wraith or they could be goofy, kinda useless, like the Martians or that one that could be taken out by Head &amp; Shoulders in Evolution. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John absentmindedly stroked my arm with his fingers, still nonverbal and face expressionless. I imagined he probably had a lot weighing on his mind. Part of it I’m sure, was the conversation we’d just had, part of it was what he’d said about not only wanting me for our after hours activities, and having part of the retrovirus breaking down in his system had to be pretty scary. I doubted very much he was actually watching the Tim Burton classic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel my eyes getting heavier, which was weird as I’d already done a fair amount of sleeping today. And I almost never slept. I just drank coffee and passed out when it lost all effect. I yawned and turned slightly on my side, facing away from the movie. The arm around me shifted to stroke my side instead of my arm. I slid my hand up the arm, spotting a weirdly shaped dark shadow. Like he had something stuck to him. He flinched when my fingers made contact. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the?” he said, snapping his head down to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s something here,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know I felt it,” he said and moved to turn on one of the lights. We looked down at his arm and found a large, purulent sore where the puncture wound had been and disappeared from. Purple tendrils radiated outward from the centre. I reached out to poke it with a single finger but he swatted my hand away. He reached a hand up to his earpiece. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Doc… this is Sheppard,” he said. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, Colonel,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Beckett said through John’s radio, which I was close enough to catch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We may have to bump up our first check in,” he replied. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to come with?” I asked, looking up at his concerned face with worry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah,” he replied, giving me a reassuring smile. “It’ll just raise questions. Thank you though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It might be for the best. You leave any later and someone might start to wonder why you’re not in your own room.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll let you know what happens,” he told me, kissing me on the cheek and climbing up off the bed. He walked towards the door without looking back, stepping through it and heading off to the transporter down the hall. I watched the door whoosh closed and shut the portable DVD player, not feeling like watching the rest of the movie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed and threw myself down on my face. So much had changed in the space of a couple of days. First there was the night at the tavern and then there was today… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn O’Neill what have you gotten yourself into?</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Colonel John and Mr Hyde</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Get it? Get it? Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde? ...alright not funny...</p><p>Warning there's some discussion of dub con at the end there and our good old wraith boi John get's kicked in the balls</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I spent the night in a constant state or shifting from side to side, flipping the pillow over and over to the cold side and getting up to walk around the room a few times. I was restless, worried about the recent developments with John and despite his attempts at assuring me he wanted more than sex, it did nothing to sooth my axiety. If anything, if all he wanted was a one off romp, it’d have been easier to deal with. </p><p>Weir emailed me while I was trying to finish my work on the generators to see if I had anything she could report on before the dial in and I spent the next few hours frantically scribbling. I was grateful, honestly, for the distraction. I emailed Rodney to check things over before I printed them and sent them to Weir to go through. He responded before I even had time to get dressed for the day and asked me if he wanted me to start printing them while I made my way down. </p><p>“So are you?” Rodney asked and I looked up from the printer I was standing next to. I shot him a sheepish grin. </p><p>“What?” I replied. He shook his head. </p><p>“I asked if you were okay. You rushed off last night at dinner and were gone by the time I made it back to the lab,” he explained and I sighed, crossing my arm over my chest. I nodded as I looked down at my boots for a moment. </p><p>“I feel guilty about what’s happening with John,” I explained. “He keeps telling me it’s not my fault but…”</p><p>“But you feel like if you’d just made another call earlier he wouldn’t have had to make the ones he did?” Rodney and I nodded. </p><p>“Exactly,” I said. </p><p>“I feel like that sometimes,” he told me. “Especially after what happened in the Doranda system. But unlike me, you aren’t actually at fault. Even if you’d have attacked Ellia earlier, she still could have gone for Sheppard. And if you had, you might have come off a lot worse than a few bruises. What’s happening with him is bad, but it could have been much worse. Remember, Evelyn, you helped kill the Wraith. You helped save his life.”</p><p>“Thanks Rodney,” I smiled. “That was oddly compassionate of you.”</p><p>“Hey!” he yelled. “I can be compassionate!”</p><p>“Sure,” I chuckled, picking up my stack of papers from the printer tray and he handed me another set he was supposed to be delivering himself. So that’s why he offered to print mine for me. I headed to the gate room, mentally preparing myself for any questions she might have about the project. </p><p>“I’m going on that mission,” John demanded and I looked up. </p><p>I was walking along the walkway from the control room toward Weir’s office and saw the two exchanging heated glances. There was a Marine standing by her office door, ready at a moment’s notice. I wasn’t aware they’d given John a security detail but I couldn’t say I was surprised. It was protocol. It did explain why I hadn’t heard from him, hard to sneak around if you have an armed escort following you.</p><p>I clutched the stacks of paper a little harder, the tension in the room was thick. I glanced at the marine, he mirrored my expression. This wasn’t good. We both had a lot of respect for John but we knew he wasn’t getting his way on this one. And he shouldn’t. </p><p>“No, John, you’re not,” Weir said firmly. </p><p>“Damn it!” He let out a growl of frustration and spun around, taking a swing for the glass wall I was standing near. His fist made contact with the glass, shattering it easily. I jumped, scooting back almost a foot in shock as the marine beside me pulled his stunner, ready to fire. </p><p>“It’s okay! Put it down,” Weir ordered, stepping in front of the stunner. </p><p>“I’m betting that didn’t sell you,” John said sheepishly. </p><p>“No. No, not really,” Weir replied, unimpressed. </p><p>“I should go back to the infirmary,” John said awkwardly. </p><p>“Yes,” Weir agreed. </p><p>John noticed me then and immediately averted his eyes, avoiding eye contact. The marine escorted John back across the walkway and towards the control room stairs, presumably to go back to the infirmary. I looked worriedly at Weir and held the files out towards her. </p><p>“You can go, Captain,” she dismissed, looking at me warmly, despite what had just happened. </p><p>I nodded at her and then scurried off down the hall, intent on meeting back up with John in the infirmary. I walked into the main part of the infirmary in time to hear even Beckett yelling at John. Seemed tension was running high all over Atlantis. But then, John was a pretty integral part of the mission running smoothly.</p><p>“I said no, son!” Beckett scolded. </p><p>“I keep telling you, the infirmary isn’t secure. After what happened we need to be smarter about this!” John argued back. </p><p>“I am a Doctor, I have my duty of care,” Beckett argued and I cleared my throat. The two men looked at me, shocked at my sudden appearance. </p><p>“Beckett, you’re not thinking about this pragmatically,” I said. He cocked his head to the side, raising an indignant eyebrow at me. </p><p>“Excuse me?” he damned. “Oh bloody great, of course you agree with the Colonel. Because you’re..”</p><p>“Because I’m in the Air Force first and foremost and I understand the risks to security,” I said firmly, challenging him to snap at me again. He backed off and I started speaking again. “You have a duty of care, and I understand that, but your duty of care extends to more than just Colonel Sheppard. If he’s a security risk, keeping him in the same area as the sick and injured, in a place he can easily get out of.. It’s just not safe. No one is saying you have to stop treating him, just have staff visit his quarters on rotation.”</p><p>“See,” John said. </p><p>“Aye, fine, alright,” Beckett sighed. “I’ll see what I can work out. You can help the security detail escort him to his quarters then, <em> if you’re so invested </em>, Captain.”</p><p>“Thanks Beckett,” I smiled sweetly and saluted him on my way out. </p><p>“Why did you side with me?” John asked as we walked back toward his room. </p><p>“It does actually make the most sense. Can I ask you something?” I replied and he nodded. “What did you mean, after what happened?”</p><p>“Did you miss the whole window shattering right beside your head?” he asked and I shook my head. “That’s why. I went in there with the good intentions of joining my team on the mission to get a hold of some Iratus eggs but snapped, and I didn’t even feel that coming. If that’s what I can do while I’m still relatively lucid, how much worse is it going to get?”</p><p>“It’s not going to come to that, the others will be back before this can get any worse,” I said as we came to a stop outside his door. I leaned on the frame. </p><p>“How come you didn’t go?” he asked. </p><p>“Up until your fist hit the window I didn’t know there was a mission,” I shrugged. “Guess no one thought it was a good fit for me. Plus I suppose I’m technically Rodney’s team, more than yours, and he’s a bit weird about what missions are too dangerous for me.”</p><p>“Can’t blame him for wanting to keep you safe, you’re one of the few people that treats him the way you do,” he said. </p><p>“What? Knocks him down a few pegs?” I smirked. </p><p>“No, you keep him humble. The rest of us, we rag on him for his personality, but we treat him like he’s a genius, his intelligence puts him above everyone else in that regard,” he explained. “You on the other hand, know he’s smart but still keep him on the same level as everyone else.”</p><p>“He’s good at physics, he’s not a genius,” I replied. </p><p>“See,” John said, pointing a finger at me. He wiped his hand past the door lock and it whooshed open. </p><p>“I’ll stop by later,” I told him. </p><p>I felt even more conflicted when I left. I wanted to be a good friend to John, be around him and provide him with the moral support he’d need right now but the closer we got the further feelings would develop. And I wanted to talk to someone about it but I also knew the more people I told, the less secret it would be. I couldn’t tell Cadman, definitely couldn’t tell Rodney and it was off the table completely to discuss it with Heightmeyer. </p><p>In the end, I did little productive, and instead paced around my room until a few hours had gone by and I returned to John’s quarters. Upon opening the door, I found him doing exactly what I had been, pacing. I smiled empathetically at him and took a spot by the window, staring out over the city. </p><p>“A lot on your mind?” I asked eventually and he sighed. He was closer behind me than I’d noticed. He moved lightning fast and scarily quiet, although I hadn’t noticed before now. </p><p>“I can’t imagine a reason I wouldn’t right now,” he replied and I scoffed. </p><p>“Well at least we know the inhibitor’s working if you’re lucid enough to worry,” I shrugged and he grumbled. </p><p>“You also suck at bedside manor,” he told me and I raised a brow. “Weir visited a little bit ago. I’m going crazy in here.”</p><p>“I know, with your team out there, nothing you can do about what’s happening. It’d drive me crazy,” I agreed. “Guess we gotta come up with a way to distract you.”</p><p>“Are you..”</p><p>“Not that,” I snorted. </p><p>While it was no secret I definitely wanted to explore what John and I had between us more, now was not the time. I reached up to brush my fingertips across the slightly discoloured flesh of his jaw. He sank into my touch and let me cup his cheek for a moment. </p><p>“How about we spar a little? I know you can’t really turn your thoughts off right now, so we burn you out until you have no choice but to go to sleep,” I suggested and he nodded. </p><p>“I’m stronger now, you know this,” he warned and I smirked. </p><p>“You might have a bit of extra go in you, but I can handle you. I <em> have </em>the skill, I have the knowledge I just need the practice and what better opportunity than now?” I said and he shrugged, taking a position in the empty space by the door. “Plus, now I technically know what fighting a wraith will be like, and wont fuck it up like I did with Ellia.”</p><p>“You know you’re the only one who thinks you fucked up, right?” he told me, before lunging forward. I threw up a block and stood my ground. </p><p>“While we might be our own worst critics, I was still wrong. I let what I wanted the situation to be, cloud my judgement and I put <em> you </em>at risk. You’re here right now because of me. I’m never going to forgive myself for that,” I told him and thrust a knee up between us to hit him in the gut. He grunted and pushed me back by my thigh. I caught myself and swung out a hit. </p><p>“I don’t blame you, it was my choice to step in,” he said. </p><p>“You don’t need to, how I feel is enough. And while I respect the value of your choices, if I hadn’t made mine the way I did, you wouldn’t have been in the position to make the call you did,” I replied. </p><p>“Why do we keep having this conversation?” he asked, throwing me on the ground. “It’s like we’re stuck in a loop.”</p><p>“We’re both very stubborn people,” I shrugged, and then booted him off of me and slid out from under him. “I know I need to let this go, John, but I’m scared.”</p><p>“Scared?” he asked. I nodded and ducked under a hit he’d aimed at my head. </p><p>“It’s just like with Charlie, of course there was no way I could have known the outcomes of the choices I made that day, even if I wasn’t just a kid, no one could have seen that coming. But I was still there and if I’d made different choices, things obviously would have come out differently. I’m a control freak John, because I’m scared I’ll fuck up again.”</p><p>“I guess I can’t convince you to let this go,” he said. “Maybe I need to spar with you until you have no choice but to sleep.”</p><p>“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed, headbutting him.</p><p>John POV</p><p>I laid back, slightly sweaty, with my head on my pillow. Evelyn was resting her head on my chest showing no regard to my mutating hand gently stroking the bare skin of her arm. Her heartbeat was steady, gentle, she was completely relaxed. I was a monster, how could she be so worry free? Even Elizabeth had been wary around me. My eyes started to feel a little heavy, Evelyn's plan had worked, it seemed. </p><p>“I can’t stay,” she whispered softly. “I want to be here, with you, but if Carson comes by for your checkup, or Weir wants to give you an update…”</p><p>This woman… she shouldn’t want to stay, after what I was becoming. She should be repulsed. At any moment I could hurt her and here she was. </p><p>“You’re worried, not because you’re in the arms of a mutating man on the verge of becoming a homicidal monster, but because someone might find out about us?” I scoffed. She really needs to sort out her priorities. Would that be such a bad thing? Avoiding the secrets? I knew it would be hard at first, but surely things would be okay. If I survived this at least. </p><p>“I know you’re going to be alright,” she shrugged. “You might be transforming a little now, and you’re kinda scaly, but we’re going to change you back. Plus, even without the inhibitor, you have too much self control. I trust you, you just let me know if you feel yourself slipping.”</p><p>“I’m slipping further every moment,” I told her. </p><p>“You’re being dramatic,” she rolled her eyes at me. She propped herself up over me. Fingertips of her hand trailing gently on my sternum while she leant on her stump. “Listen, everything’s going to be alright, you get some sleep. I’ll stay here until you’re out and stop by again when you’re awake again.”</p><p>“Don’t fall asleep here, it might not be safe,” I warned, she was right she couldn’t stay. She scoffed. “I’m serious.”</p><p>“You’re not going to murder me in my sleep, John,” she rolled her eyes at me. I sighed and lay back on my pillow. This woman would be the death of me. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax to the steady rhythm of her breath and her heartbeat. I seemed to be accurately aware of it now. I could hear it from the moment she was nearby. I knew she was near before she opened the door.</p><p>Evelyn POV </p><p>I walked out of John’s room, making sure I was quiet as I left. It’d taken him a while, but he’d finally managed to get some sleep. I was worried about him, he seemed to have given up on ever changing back despite being desperate to do something about it. I sighed, I needed to distract myself if I was going to get any sleep myself. I headed for my lab to grab my tablet so I could fall asleep to my latest project. I was moments away from the transporter when my radio went off and I groaned. </p><p>“O’Neill,” I answered as I stepped inside and the doors closed around me. </p><p><em> “Evelyn, it’s Elizabeth,” </em> Weir greeted. <em> “Would you stop by my office?” </em></p><p>She sounded nervous. Momentarily, I panicked. She couldn’t know, could she? My hands hovered over the map buttons. I shook my head. She was nervous because her head of military operations was turning into a bug. I pressed the button for the gateroom and agreed to meet. </p><p>For someone who’d been very ‘dont ask, don’t tell’ since she was a child, I didn’t seem to be doing a great job of masking my inner turmoil over what was going on. Thankfully most people seemed to chalk it down to my boss being a bug not my boss being inside of me. </p><p>I walked up to the empty window frame of Weir’s office and knocked on the metal. I paused until she looked up at me. She smiled, but there was an uneasy look on her face. This had been hard on everyone. </p><p>“Come in,” she told me and gestured to the chairs in front of her desk. I smiled anxiously at her and sat down. I immediately and uncontrollably started bobbing my knee. I’d picked up the nervous habit shortly after I’d lost my arm and couldn't wring my hands together. </p><p>“How is he?” Weir asked and I sighed. I shook my head. </p><p>“Not great,” I answered honestly. “On one hand, he’s self aware. Meaning he’s lucid and the inhibitors Beckett has him on are working. Which is good. On the other hand, I think that makes it all the worse. While he’s mostly in control of his actions, when he does make a bad judgment call, or he slips, like he did earlier,” I paused to glance back at the missing glass of the window. </p><p>“He’s acutely aware of it?” Weir continued and I nodded. She had been unconsciously clicking her pen for a while now as she held it in her hand. Leaning on the heel of the other one, she sighed.</p><p>“He knows he’s unpredictable, he knows the Iratus is taking over,” I said. “And he feels angry, scared, he’s guilty when he comes back into his own head. I’m worried.”</p><p>“I was also worried, that this might be the case,” she said. She leaned back in her chair and groaned. “You know John as well as I do, maybe more, he’s not going to take this lying down, even if he’s already subconsciously given up. He’s desperate.”</p><p>“Can’t blame him,” I said and she raised an eyebrow at me. </p><p>“I don’t.” she said simply. “But, while the others are gone, we’re going to have to take shifts checking up on him. Especially while the others are gone. I don’t exactly don’t have the experience comforting someone..”</p><p>“Don’t insult your emotional intelligence, Weir,” I said and she smiled at me. </p><p>“Thank you, Evelyn,” she replied. “Please don’t be offended about not going on the mission with the others, Rodney wanted you to come along but I denied his request. I chose you to stay behind on this mission because I thought you’d be able to do more here. Everyone on John’s team is a close personal friend of his, but of everyone, I thought you’d be able to understand him the best.”</p><p>“With respect, why me?” I asked. “In terms of comforting, I’m really better with children than adults. And John?”</p><p>“Have you met John?” Weir scoffed. “He’s essentially a giant kid. But I’m asking you because he seems to respond well to you, he listens to you, cares for you. You and John are actually more similar than you appear at first glance. I’d say in the short time you’ve been a part of this expedition you’ve grown quite close, haven’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah,” I agreed, trying to squash down all thoughts on the more than friends activities we’d done yesterday. “Yeah, you could say that…”</p><p>“Well good, I hope you’ll help me with this,” she replied, sounding pleased. </p><p>“You didn’t need to ask,” I told her. </p><p>“I know,” she told me, seeming like she knew a bit more than she was letting on. But maybe I was just being paranoid. She dismissed me and I got up for the door. I reached the metal frame and she called out to me. </p><p>“I’m grateful,” she said. “That he’s got you.”</p><p>“I was just with him,” I told her, staring towards the control room. “You’d probably better take the first visit.”</p><p>“Okay,” she agreed, smiling. “I’ll let you know when I leave.”</p><p>John POV</p><p>I blinked awake, sad that I didn’t see Evelyn anymore, but she’d done what I told her. The door swooshed open and I looked up to see Weir standing in its wake. She smiled anxiously at me. </p><p>“Hey John,” she smiled. “Can I come in?”</p><p>I raised an eyebrow. She was already standing a foot into my open bedroom, she was also expedition leader. There wasn’t much I could say to deny her. I jerked my head as an invitation and pushed myself up on my bed. </p><p>“I thought I should come by and practice my bedside manner,” she told me and I wanted to roll my eyes. “How are you?”</p><p>“My body’s mutating into a bug. How are you?” I replied bitterly. </p><p>Weir looked back at me awkwardly. I turned my head and then spotted myself in my bedroom mirror. The mutation had spread to my neck, and quite far up it. It would be hard to hide, now. I couldn’t just tuck my hand away in my pocket. </p><p>"How's Evelyn?" I asked. "She stopped by before."</p><p>"Yes, she mentioned in my office before. She's going to stop by again later, is that alright?" Weir asked. Of course it was alright. I almost rolled my eyes. </p><p>"Yeah," I said shortly. Weir stood around awkwardly again for a few moments before she seemed to come up with something else to say. So much for practicing her bedside manner. </p><p>“Would you like an update on your team’s progress? They’ve found an iratus cave, and they’ve headed in,” she told me. </p><p>I nodded to myself, this was good. Hopefully they should be back and creating a cure to this damn thing by morning. But things never went well in the pegasus galaxy. There was no guarantee they’d even be back, let along with iratus eggs.</p><p>“They should locate some eggs and be back here in no time,” Weir said. I didn’t really believe her. </p><p>“No time,” I repeated. Not in this galaxy. </p><p>“Yes,” she agreed. </p><p>“Then what?”</p><p>“Honestly, I don’t know,” she said, leaning around to face me. I turned away. She couldn’t know. If she did it wouldn’t be long before Evelyn found out. “Hey,” Weir paused, concerned. “Are you alright, would you like me to call someone?”</p><p>“Who would you call?” I scoffed. </p><p>“If you need to see a doctor,” she started, she had no idea. </p><p>“I need a bigger security detail,” I seethed. </p><p>“Excuse me?” Weir asked, taken aback.</p><p>“At least two men stationed at my door. Sooner rather than later,” I explained. </p><p>“What are you talking about?” she said. </p><p>“Just trust me, Elizabeth. You’re going to need it,” I told her. She started trying to object. “Agh, just get Evelyn if you don’t understand. She’ll tell you. She understands.”</p><p>“I still think you should be in the infirmary,” Weir started. “We could post more guards there..”</p><p>“No! Here is safer for everyone, I thought you already understood,” I argued. “Elizabeth they need to hurry. The infirmary isn’t secure. The inhibitor is only keeping me so lucid, and it’s not slowing the retrovirus.”</p><p>“Still,” Weir said. I threw myself up.</p><p>“Don’t argue with me! I’m not safe to be around anymore. Get some men at my door, and get the hell out of here.”</p><p>“Okay. Okay,” she agreed, <em> finally </em>. </p><p>She got up for the door and I heard her just outside speaking to the marine posted at my quarters. </p><p>“Double the detail,” she said.</p><p>“Code one-six,” I heard him say.</p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>“<em>Evelyn, it’s me, the situation with John.. things are getting worse,” </em> Weir said into my radio.</p><p>“I heard,” I told her as I made my way through the corridors of the city. I knew exactly where I was going, and I was letting no one get in my way. </p><p>“<em>He doesn’t want any visitors, but I think you’re right. He’s slipping and he’s aware of it,” </em>she continued. </p><p>“I’m on my way to see him,” I told her. </p><p><em> “He did tell me to get you, said you’d understand, explain why he wants a bigger detail,” </em> she told me. </p><p>“I think you understand just fine on your own,” I replied. Weir read and approved all John’s security protocols. She knew. She just didn’t want to believe things were this bad. I didn’t either. “I don’t disagree with the order. But I do think he might need someone to talk him down from the ledge.”</p><p><em> “Go, it’s important you get there before the damage is done,” </em>Weir agreed.</p><p>“Weir?” I said. Pausing a corridor away. </p><p><em> “Yes?” </em>she asked. </p><p>“I’m sorry for my part in how this happened,” I told her. “I should not have let an enemy sweet talk me into leaving her alone with Atlantis equipment, regardless of what she did with it.”</p><p><em> “No one blames you,” </em>Weir said. </p><p>“I do,” I replied. </p><p><em> “You’re just like him,” </em> Weir told me again. <em> “Now go tell him what you need to hear.”  </em></p><p>I jogged the rest of the way after signing off, skidding across the polished floors as I approached the two men posted outside John’s room. They nodded at me before letting me inside and I hovered by the now closed door. John was sitting faced away from me on his bed, but I knew he knew I was here. </p><p>“I heard about the one-six, are things really that bad?” I asked. </p><p>“You can’t be here,” he replied bluntly.</p><p>“John,” I shook my head. </p><p>“I mean it,” he sair firmer. </p><p>“Stop trying to push me away. I know it’s under the guise of protecting me, but I also know the truth. You’re scared, of what’s happening, of yourself, what you might do...but you don’t have to be scared alone. You can’t hurt me, John,” I said and turned, reaching for the lights. </p><p>“Leave them off,” he commanded. </p><p>“What?” I paused. </p><p>“The lights, leave them off,” he said. Things must be bad. </p><p>“I’m not afraid, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,” I told him. “Don’t push me away.”</p><p>“Leave the lights off,” he told me again. </p><p>“It’s spreading,” I concluded. “That doesn’t bother me..”</p><p>“It bothers the hell out of me!” he yelled in frustration, jumping to his feet. I started making my way over. In a flash he was behind me and throwing me up against the wall. He pinned me there. “I’m serious,” he said.</p><p>“John, it’s some scaly skin,” I told him. “It’ll go back to how it was before when they get back with the antidote. Even if it doesn’t, I don't care.”</p><p>“No?” He demanded. There was silence for a few moments. He was pressed in close behind me. Our breathing was laboured, tension high. I could feel heavy breaths hitting the back of my exposed neck. My skin was hot and covered in goosebumps. “No?”</p><p>“No,” I confirmed, shaking my head and letting out a thick exhale. My whole chest felt heavy. “I don’t care,” I told him again. </p><p>I felt lips crashing down on my neck, nipping and biting a trail up to my ear. I whined softly. My vision was cloudy. I wondered if this was a symptom of the iratus virus. I tried to shake myself out of this. All I could feel, all I could think about what the teeth scraping against sensitive flesh.</p><p>“John,” I gasped as a hand slithered up under my shirt to grope at my breasts. The other, mutating one slid down to my zipper and was pulling my trousers down my hips. “No.”</p><p>“I thought you didn’t care?” he demanded. </p><p>“John I can’t,” I told him. “I don’t care about looks, but I do care about consent. You’re not yourself. We <em> can’t </em>do this now. The inhibitor is only keeping you so lucid. I’m not taking advantage.”</p><p>“Taking advantage?” he scoffed. “I have you pinned to the wall.”</p><p>His lips went back to my neck and both hands yanked my trousers and panties down to my thighs. He kept me pinned to the wall as my body felt like it was on fire. I wanted to let him take me right there. I <em> liked </em> John. But this wasn’t him. This was <em> wrong </em>. Not to mention, we had no idea what would happen with the retrovirus. It spread to John when Ellia tried to feed, what would happen if we...</p><p>“No, stop!” I cried out as I heard the clicking of his belt buckle being thrown open to the side. Rough hands on my hips pulled me back and down and I let out a cry, throwing my head back into his. He growled out and I slammed an elbow back into his sternum. “John,” I said desperately. </p><p>“What use are you to me if you can’t even do this?” he seethed. </p><p>He didn’t mean it, I know he didn’t. But it still hurt. I couldn’t be objective here. I pulled my slacks back up my legs and turned. Temporarily I was caught off guard. The right side of his neck and face were now covered with blue scales and his right eye had changed colour. Using my hesitation as an opportunity he threw himself forward and pulled me into a heated kiss. </p><p>“Stop it!” I growled myself and threw a punch straight to his jaw as I pushed him off me. I brought a knee up between us and got him in the balls before doing it again for the gut and the chest. I pushed him back, throwing him to the ground and ran for the door. </p><p>“Guards!” I screamed out and the door opened. I ducked as they rushed in and stunned him. I heard his body hit the ground again, he must have pushed himself up as I was running, as I suspected he would. </p><p>“I’m sorry John,” I whispered as I stepped away from his now closed door.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Cured</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>“Weir,” I sighed into my radio. </p><p>I hadn’t reported what happened with John right away. I’d gone back to my quarters, taken a shower, and laid on my bed and stared at the ceiling for a while in my towel. I now sat on the edge of my bed, leaning over my knees as I worried about everything that had happened. </p><p><em> “Captain O’Neill, Evelyn, is everything all right?” </em> she asked, worry sounding over the radio. <em> “The marines at Colonel Sheppard’s door reported they had to stun him while you made a quick get away.” </em></p><p>“Yeah,” I agreed. “Yeah that happened. He’s.. he’s slipping quicker than I thought. I don’t think he...he wouldn’t have hurt me. But..”</p><p><em> “You took precautions, I understand,” </em> she answered. <em> “Are you sure you’re okay?”  </em></p><p>“Yeah,” I confirmed, though not very convincingly. “I’m sorry, I should have reported back in sooner, but I needed some time to process and I figured the marines would have informed you on the situation.. they’re required to.”</p><p><em> “No, it’s okay I understand. If you need to talk about it myself or Heightmeyer are always available,” </em>she told me. </p><p>“Thanks but that’s not necessary,” I told her. “I’m gonna get some sleep before my next shift.”</p><p><em> “Alright, take care,” </em> she told me. <em> “I’ll keep you in the loop.”  </em></p><p>I sighed to myself as I sighed off the radio and put it on my bedside. I laid back and lifted my feet off the floor and onto the bed. Too lazy to tuck myself in I fell asleep on top of the unmade bed. </p><p>I was jolted awake by a loud knocking at my door. I rolled onto my back and swung my legs over the side of my bed, running my dry tongue across my furry feeling teeth. I looked at the clock. I’d been sleeping for a while. I decided on answering the door, rather than giving my guest permission to enter, worried it might be John again. But then, he had an armed escort usually and I’ll bet now he was confined indefinitely to his quarters. </p><p>“Took you long enough,” Rodney greeted indignantly. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, a heavy feeling I didn’t know I had released itself from my chest. </p><p>“Rodney,” I breathed and closed the distance between the two of us, wrapping my arms tightly around him. He stood awkwardly for a moment before hugging me back tightly, rubbing soft circles between my shoulder blades. </p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked. </p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded. “I just, I’m glad to see a friendly face. How’d the mission go?”</p><p>I pulled back, stepped away from the door and let him inside. I waved the lights on and winced, shrinking back from it’s harsh glare. He glanced around at the unkempt state of my bedroom. </p><p>“Did I wake you?” he asked. </p><p>“Yeah, sorry, Weir and I have been taking shifts checking up on John,” I explained. “So I’ve been sleeping when I can, if I can. And I was never really good at sleeping anyway. If you remember.”</p><p>“Oh, I remember alright,” he replied. “The mission went terribly by the way, which is kind of why I’m here.”</p><p>I moved over to my bed, pulling the blankets over one handed to make things a little neater and sat down. Rodney joined me and ran his hands over his face. </p><p>“We.. we failed. We lost two marines,” he explained. “We found some eggs we just couldn’t get close enough, even with the saline.”</p><p>“I’m sorry..” I said, bobbing my knee. This wasn’t good. This meant we were going to lose John. I wasn’t ready for that. Things between us, they’d just started developing into something I wanted. Or at least I had before the irratus part of him tried to sexually assault me. </p><p>“I am too,” he said. “I know how much he means to you.”</p><p>“Does everyone?” I scoffed. “Weir.. she kind of implied he was special to me in some sort of way.”</p><p>“She hinted at that, and that was why she wanted you here. Honestly, I’m kind of glad she did deny my request to have you join us, the thought of losing you… I understand way more now why you were so angry with me over the whole,” he said and I cut him off. </p><p>“I know,” I agreed. “Listen, there’s not really anything going on between John and I.”</p><p>“No?” McKay scoffed. </p><p>“No,” I confirmed. “It’s not a well kept secret that I care for him, and he probably cares about me too but nothing’s happened, nothings happening.”</p><p>“Can’t really blame you, I’ve never found myself particularly attracted to Waiths or Wraith hybrids either,” he joked and I laughed. I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment. </p><p>“What do we do now?” I asked. </p><p>“Honestly?” he said. “I don’t know.”</p><p>Rodney POV</p><p>“Where the hell is the General’s daughter?” Caldwell demanded once everyone else had gathered. </p><p>I shrugged. She’d been awake when I’d left her, so I doubted she had slept through the security breach announcement and the orders to gather in the gateroom. She had mentioned visiting one of the sites she’d requested access to regarding her power project, maybe it was taking a while to get back?</p><p>“Captain O’Neill please respond,” I heard Chuck say into his headpiece. There was radio silence. She would have responded, even if she was running late. “Captain O’Neill, this is control, please respond.”</p><p>“Captain O’Neill, this is Colonel Caldwell, please respond,” Caldwell tried. “Alright, we don’t have time for this. We’ll deal with O’Neill AWOL later.”</p><p>“If that’s what it turns out to be!” I interjected. “Something could have happened to her. She’s never failed to respond to a radio call before..”</p><p>“If that’s not what it is then it’s imperative we locate Colonel Sheppard,” Caldwell shut me down. </p><p>I went back into reconfiguring the city’s tracking system to get a lock on Sheppard’s transmitter and tried not to worry about what had happened to Evelyn. Worrying about her wouldn’t help me find out what had happened to her. </p><p>“Okay, we’ve got a lock on him,” I announced. Everyone’s eyes trained on the large display showing Sheppard’s blinking transmitter. </p><p>“That can’t be him,” Caldwell argued. “It’s moving too fast.”</p><p>“It’s him,” Ronon confirmed, sounding a little bitter. </p><p>“Allright, four teams. Surround him and close in. I want him stopped, and gentlemen use whatever level of force you deem necessary. Move out,” Caldwell ordered and all the marines turned and marched away. I couldn’t believe this.</p><p>“What if he has O’Neill?” I butted in. I was scandalised. They could kill her. If he has her and they use lethal force she could be dead. I should have made her come with me after I went to go see her. The power project could have waited. </p><p>“Especially if he has the General’s daughter,” Caldwell replied. Why did he always call her that? She was a captain in her own right, and had a doctorate. But he still always called her the ‘General’s Daughter’.</p><p>“You will only use such force as a last result,” Weir interjected, making the troop pause and I sighed in relief, at least someone had their head screwed on correctly.</p><p>“That’s not Sheppard anymore, ma’am,” Caldwell tried to argue. </p><p>“You heard me,” Weir told the marines firmly, ignoring Caldwell’s protests. </p><p>With the marines out of the room and Ronon and Teyla close behind it left myself and Chuck to coordinate the teams, Weir and Caldwell overseeing. I hoped by some miracle Evelyn turned up unharmed. </p><p>After locking down the stargate I watched Sheppard’s transponder blink from one side of the city to another. Caldwell leaned in, just as confused as I was. </p><p>“I thought you said he couldn’t use the transporter,” he said. </p><p>“I said I doubted he was lucid enough,” I replied, shaking my head. Damn it Sheppard.</p><p>“Well, shut them down. He’s not going to do it again,” Caldwell ordered. </p><p>“Thus stranding your search teams,” I argued. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I sighed as I walked through a relatively dark part of the city. I could barely do my checks right as I sketched out places to mount my generators now that Weir had approved of my scouted locations. I was so distracted by everything going on with John I couldn’t do anything right. Thankfully at least I’d backed up my tablet before I’d left to sketch on location so it didn’t matter that it was sitting on the bottom of the sea floor. </p><p>I was shaken from my thoughts when I heard the sound of machine gun fire nearby. I cursed under my breath. Of all days for my radio to be rattling around in multiple pieces in my pocket, it had to be today. Had to be now. </p><p>I jogged along the corridor I was in, looking to get to a vantage point where I could see what was going on but be covered enough no one would see me. Luckily I was always packing, so even though I didn’t have my P90, I still had my side arm and a few knives. </p><p>I heard running footsteps approaching but before I was able to react I felt my body make contact with the floor. I let out an “ooft” as I felt the wind leave my lungs and I scrambled on the floor to stand again. </p><p>Managing to get out from under him, I quickly realised it was Colonel Sheppard who had crashed into me. I grappled with him, using his surprise at me being her to get the advantage and slammed him hard into the wall. I was shaking, I couldn’t make the same mistake as last time. This wasn’t my John anymore, this was a Wraith, a hostile threat. And I needed to do what was necessary. </p><p>My pulse hammered in my ears as I reached for my side arm. Sheppard gripped me tightly by the back of my tank top. This was it. I had to kill him. The team failed, there was no cure. Only a monster that had taken over Sheppard’s body. John held me tight and flipped us round, pinning me to the wall he was just up against. </p><p>He stared me down, watching me like a predator. He was waiting for me, waiting for me to take the safety off my pistol and attempt to fire at him. I stood frozen, again. He wasn’t attacking, was he holding back? Was there still some part of John holding back part of the monster? Did I still shoot? I thought I had to. I thought there was no other choice. </p><p>I heard two more sets of running footsteps, a little ways apart. John let out a growl and gripped me tighter. I realised then, there was a part of Wraith John that didn’t want to kill me, and probably wasn’t murdering me right now because he wanted something else. </p><p>John dropped to the ground before my eyes. Vaguely I remembered hearing the sound of stunner fire and I stared down in shock at the body. The first set of footsteps slowed to a halt beside me and the second wasn’t far off. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Ronon asked and I stared down at John, making sure he wasn’t going to spring up off the ground like a horror movie villain. </p><p>“Yeah,” I gasped. “Yeah I’m okay.”</p><p>“Ronon!” Teyla called and then skidded to a stop beside us. “Evelyn? No one could get a hold of you. We were worried Colonel Sheppard had taken you hostage.”</p><p>“I think he was about to,” I answered.</p><p>“Get the doctor down here. I have him,” Ronon said into his radio. </p><p>I sighed and put my side arm away, leaning over my knees as I let my heart beat settle down. This was way different than any of my past active combat situations could have prepared me for. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for the Pegasus life. </p><p>One of the marines escorted me to the gateroom so I could debrief and explain to Weir and Caldwell why I was apparently considered AWOL. I perched on one of the chairs, still reeling from what had happened while Rodney looked over at me concerned. He was being unusually quiet at Weir and Caldwell exchanged a look. </p><p>“Why didn’t you respond to your radio calls?” Caldwell asked. I reached into my pocket and grabbed the pieces of my smashed radio. I placed them down on one of the control desks and wiped my hand off on my cargo pants. </p><p>“I was sketching on location for one of my generator mounts and dropped both my radio and tablet. The tablet is currently in the ocean somewhere and my radio hit the deck and broke into this mess,” I explained. “I heard the gunfire and prepared to engage when Colonel Sheppard crashed into me.”</p><p>“You mean to tell me we were able to take down that thing because he tripped over you?” Caldwell asked, looking annoyed. </p><p>“Afraid so,” I shrugged. “But like, Ronon also shot him and he and Teyla pursued him into the position he was able to trip over me so..”</p><p>“Alright, Captain, you’re dismissed without reprimand,” Calwell told me. “As far as I’m concerned you weren’t AWOL and so long as you’re unharmed I’m happy.”</p><p>“Are you alright?” Weir asked me and I nodded. “Alright, you’re dismissed. You can go visit the infirmary if you’d like.”</p><p>I nodded. <span>I perched on the edge of a desk. </span>I didn’t really want to have much to do with John at the moment, but I felt a strange pull to go to him, make sure he was alright. I was having trouble separating Iratus John from regular John. </p><p>Rodney walked over and put an arm around my shoulders, rubbing my upper arm lightly as I sat there. Eventually I pushed myself up and the two of us walked to the infirmary. </p><p>Teyla, Ronon, Rodney and I waited off to the side and observed the nursing staff check on John while he was restrained to the bed with thick straps. Weir, Caldwell and Beckett were off to the other side discussing John’s condition just within earshot. </p><p>“I’ve put him in a medically induced coma for now. I was afraid he might break through the restraints,” Beckett explained, that did explain why he was still out. </p><p>“That’s a good call, Doctor,” Caldwell praised. </p><p>“So, what now?” Weir asked. I stared sadly down at my CO. His now entire lower half of his face was mutated, along with both arms, and both eyes last I’d seen. </p><p>“The retrovirus has wreaked havoc on his system, and it’s taking over,” Beckett explained. It might be about time we said our goodbyes. </p><p>“What does that mean?” Weir asked.</p><p>“It means if we don’t find a way to stop the retrovirus in the next 24 hours, what is left of the John Sheppard we know will be gone,” Beckett explained and I bit my lip. Rodney gripped my shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. </p><p>“I’m uh, I’m gonna go to the mess,” Rodney said and I dropped my head down to stare at my lap.</p><p>“I think I’ll join you,” Teyla said and Ronon grunted in agreement. </p><p>“I’m gonna stay a bit longer,” I said softly. </p><p>Rodney POV</p><p>I sat picking at my bowl of fruit salad and jello while Teyla sat quietly on the other side of the table. Ronon leaned against the railing, more silent than usual. A heavy silence sat over the top of us. Our leader, our friend of some time now could be dead tomorrow. Because, if like Beckett said, and it was irreversible by this time tomorrow, someone would have to kill him. Like some rabid dog to be put to sleep.</p><p>“You guys are up late,” I heard Weir comment. I looked up and saw her wringing her hands. I would have expected Evelyn by now. </p><p>“Can’t sleep either?” I greeted.</p><p>“Any progress?” Teyla asked. </p><p>“No,” Weir answered. “He’s still in a coma. At least he isn’t in any pain.”</p><p>“Is Evelyn still there?” I asked. She’d refused to come here with the rest of us. She should have been here, she can’t sit alone at a time like this.</p><p>“She won’t leave his side,” Weir replied. She sighed. “And he didn’t stop asking after her. Whenever I stopped by all he’d talk about was the visit they’d just had or asked about her next one...I always wondered if there was some attraction between the two of them, because of how they acted around one another. And how every time she was injured he’d spend all day by her side. He’s different around her.”</p><p>I soured. We’d spoken a lot about this the last few days. I looked up and saw Ronon and Teyla exchanging a glance. Oh, now what did they know that I didn’t? I stuffed another spoonful in my mouth. </p><p>“Maybe it’s her returning the favor,” Ronon suggested. “He’s kept her safe now she’s keeping watch over him.”</p><p>“You’re probably right,” Weir agreed. “It’s a little sad, isn’t it? They’ll never get their moment in the sun.”</p><p>“Maybe if I went alone, maybe..” Ronon started. He wanted to do something, I understood. I wanted to help my friend, but there wasn’t anything any of us could do. It was too dangerous and we were all out of options. </p><p>“It’s not open for discussion,” Weir replied. </p><p>“I’m not good at standing still,” Ronon explained. I felt bad for the guy. Like myself, when Ronon had a problem, he fixed it. Now he couldn’t, he was at a loss. </p><p>“I understand,” Weir replied. “Believe me, I appreciate how you feel. Look, we have closed down that section of the infirmary but if you feel the need to… what I mean to say is if you would like to have a private goodbye, you should probably do it soon.”</p><p>“Are we really there?” I asked. I’d been pretty realistic about this, I knew it was coming but having Weir actually say it…</p><p>“I think we might be,” she confirmed. </p><p><em> “Dr. Weir, I need to speak to you immediately,” </em>Beckett said over the radio. </p><p>“What is it?” she asked. </p><p>“<em> Meet me in your office, I think I have an idea,” </em>he responded. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I perched off to the side in the waiting area as Beckett and his staff worked on bringing John out of his coma. I didn’t exactly like the idea of John going into that cave, especially by himself, but I trusted Beckett. If he said it would work and that we had a chance at getting John back, I had to hold onto hope. </p><p>“Go get some sleep kid,” Beckett told me. “I promise I’ll let you know as soon as we get back with the eggs.”</p><p>“I don’t care what time it is,” I said. “I don’t care what state he’s in.”</p><p>“I know,” he told me and put a comforting hand on my upper arm. “Go rest.”</p><p>Restlessly I threw myself around in my sheets, unable to settle into a deep sleep, or any kind of sleep at all. I was up like a shot as soon as my radio crackled to life and Beckett told me they’d made it back and things were a success. </p><p>I ran down the halls as fast as my legs would carry me. I wasn’t going to lose him. The team had made it back okay. Beckett told me he was about to go and create an antidote but allowed me in to see him. I sat in the chair by his bedside as he lay, restrained and unconscious. I chewed the skin around my thumbnail. We were in the home stretch. I shouldn’t feel this anxious. </p><p>I rested my head on my shoulder, knees up at my chest in the chair while I waited. For what I didn’t know. For a result I guess, a magic overnight change. But the reality was that wouldn’t happen. We’d be lucky if Beckett’s cure stopped him from being purple. </p><p>“It’s not going to happen overnight, you can bet on that, but the transformation has begun to reverse itself,” I heard Beckett say. I must have finally drifted off. </p><p>“So eventually he’sll be back in uniform,” Caldwell stated. </p><p>“Eventually,” Beckett agreed. </p><p>“Well done, Carson, for once again elevating medicine to actual science,” McKay said, giving the Dr a backhanded compliment. </p><p>“Well, thank you, Rondey,” Beckett said, taking it in stride. </p><p>I wanted to sit up and banter a little but, but besides listening, I couldn’t really do much. The adrenalin of the whole citation must be finally wearing off. My body needed rest after the week we’d had. First the Ellia thing, the overnight flight back to Atlantis and then the four day saga with John. It was good he was back on the mend. </p><p>“You’ll all finally be able to get some sleep, like Evelyn here,” Weir commented. “Keep me posted.”</p><p>“All right,” Beckett agreed. </p><p>“We might uh,” Ronon started. </p><p>“Stay a while,” Teyla agreed. </p><p>“If that’s okay,” Rodney said and I smiled to myself in my half conscious state. </p><p>“Of course,” Beckett told them warmly.</p><hr/><p>With John now on the mend properly, and Beckett seeing fit to bring John back out of the induced coma, I found myself keeping my distance from the infirmary. Now I wasn’t worried about his life hanging in the balance, I was back to being confused about him. Especially after what Iratus John had been like. </p><p>I wasn’t sure I wanted a relationship with my CO before all this crap happened, now it was only more complicated. I knew the almost assault wasn’t him, it was the Iratus going after what it wanted. It was animal instincts, feed, defend and multiply. And I filled that last category. But it didn’t make me feel any better. Knowing why Iratus John had done what he did, or almost did, didn’t take away what had happened. It didn’t make it any easier to separate the beast occupying his body from the kind, gentle and sweet guy I knew. </p><p>And so I kept my distance. It wasn’t far to go to say I was avoiding him completely. I was practically cursing myself a week later when he’d been cleared to leave the infirmary and had walked into the gym when I was there. I’d hung back a little after sparing with Ronon to catch my breath and do some cool down stretches. I shook my head, I should have done this in my own quarters. </p><p>“Hey,” he said softly. </p><p>“Feeling better?” I asked. “I guess you must be, if Beckett set you free.”</p><p>“‘Ve been cooped up in that damn infirmary for long enough. I’d have broken out if he’d tried to keep me in there any longer,” he replied. </p><p>“You look well,” I commented, noticing the scaly, purple skin was gone. </p><p>“Well, according to my DNA, I’m 100 percent John Sheppard again,” he replied before looking at his arm. “Although I’ve got to say, I’m looking forward to getting rid of this thing one day.”</p><p>“That should clear up eventually, the rest of it did,” I shrugged. </p><p>“Yeah, that’s what Beckett said,” John nodded and then sighed as he continued to stare at his puncture scar. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck with his other hand. “So listen… while I’ve been lying there and staring at the ceiling the past few weeks, I’ve been remembering things… some things I might have done that you could call out of character.”</p><p>“Yeah,” I agreed. “You could say that.”</p><p>“I uh, Beckett and Weir commented you didn’t leave my side the whole time I was out but I didn’t see you again when I woke up. I can’t help but feel like I’ve made things awkward between us and I wanted to apologise. While I do like you, I mean really like you, none of what happened over the past three weeks was how I wanted things to go. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any regrets over how this thing started, but things took a turn when the retrovirus started taking over.”</p><p>“I noticed,” I replied and he nodded awkwardly. I don’t care if he was himself or not, he wasn’t getting away that easily. </p><p>“I want you to know I’d never do something like that to you. I care and respect you so much, Captain, and it’s scary enough having something like this happen with your CO but worse after what already happened with Torrell. And I want you to know I’m completely, and wholeheartedly sorry for any damage I may have caused and for hurting you when that’s the last thing I ever want.”</p><p>“I know you’re sorry,” I replied. “I uh, I understand most of it was the Iratus half of you. But I wanted you to say it anyway, say you’re sorry. And I hope you don’t mind me kicking the Iratus part of you in the nuts.”</p><p>“Deserved it,” he shrugged. “Deserved more actually. The way I see it is I got off lightly. Are we okay?” He asked gently. </p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded. “I forgive you John, I do..”</p><p>“But?” he asked, sensing my hesitation. </p><p>“This was a lot before,” I said. “I like you too but something like this with my CO, it’s a big step and it’s something I need to be sure about. And I’m not. I need some space. After what’s happened..I just.. Look, if you want to leave it as a one off, I understand. Because I just can’t right now.”</p><p>“No,” he shook his head. “No, I completely understand. Take the time you need and if you decide you don’t want this, or me, I understand about that too. But this isn’t just a one off for me. I like you, Evelyn, and I’m willing to wait.”</p><p>“Atlantis was supposed to be my fresh start,” I sighed, running my hand through my sweaty hair. “I should have known better, you’re my CO. I can’t fuck this up by having a rocky relationship with my boss…”</p><p>“No, no, Evelyn there is no rocky relationship,” he said. “I’m not going to ruin your life over this. If you know now that you don’t want me then we’ll say no more about it. Things can go back to the way there were and I’m not going to stand in the way of you or your career.”</p><p>“No I know,” I told him. “I just. I don’t have another option. This is the only way I can keep what I lost..”</p><p>“I understand,” he told me. </p><p>I turned to leave, walking towards the door when I thought back to those flashbacks I’d had when he was eating me out. The messy way his hair sat now, I was sure I’d seen him before I met him now. Although I didn’t quite understand why. </p><p>“You know,” I said, turning back to him. “I’m sure we hadn’t met before you interviewed me for this mission, but I can’t shake the feeling I know you a little better than that.”</p><p>“We did get to know each other pretty well a few weeks ago,” he joked and I rolled my eyes. </p><p>“Goodbye John,” I said and walked out of the gym to go shower in my quarters. </p><p>
  <em> I sat at the bar, a thin sheet of liquid coated the wooden surface and made my arms sticky. I peeled one of them off the wood and gestured to the bartender to bring me another round.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I put the glass up to my lips, glancing back at the door as the amble liquid went down surprisingly smoothly for free, air force provided whiskey. My lieutenant was long gone, the rest of my team had had to escort him back to base after getting absolutely wrecked in the drinking contest we’d had.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Can I get you another round?” a voice slurred beside me. I looked up to see the charming face of a slightly older male, whom I almost just told to fuck off, assuming he was a skeeze. I shook my head at the joke.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sure,” I rolled my eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What brings you to the bar, drinking alone?” he asked and I smiled to myself.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m the last one standing,” I winked. “No one else seems to be able to keep up.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Woman after my own heart,” he replied. “You up for another friendly competition?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You sound like I could beat you easily, you never said what brings you to the bar, drinking alone,” I countered, looking him up and down. While friendly and unthreatening, mystery guy looked like he was already pretty hammered.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m not drinking alone,” he said. And I scanned him over. His formal uniform had a few medals on it, and he wore the rank Major. “I’m here with you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Okay mystery Major, keep your secrets, I don’t care,” I told him. I placed my empty glass on the counter and the messy haired stranger waved over the bartender again, getting himself another beer and refilling me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I just got divorced,” he relented.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And are you celebrating or mourning?” I raised an eyebrow and he looked distastefully at me. I sighed and spun my glass around on the bench a couple times. “Divorce huh?” I glanced back at him. “Well, I can’t really help you with that one. I’ve never been married. But, as someone who’s a child of divorce, maybe this’ll help. When you’re married to someone who isn’t right for you, you don’t only hurt each other but the people around you. And although you know it’s over, there’s still a part of you that is always gonna care about them. That’s rough and it’s painful but I can promise you, you’re both better off.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You sure about that?” he asked.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “My parents were a lot better apart than together, I can tell you that without a moment's hesitation,” I agreed. “You love her and that’s okay, part of you is always going to. But it’s going to hurt less.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re a bit young to be this wise,” he said and I scoffed. “Sure I can’t tempt you to a drinking contest?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I think I’ve had enough,” I told him. “But if you wanna get out of here, Major, I might be able to help you forget for a little while.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Forget huh?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “A damn site better than this crap,” I shook my glass at him. </em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. When It Rains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John POV</p><p>I watched Evelyn leave, feeling a little disappointed. I knew she’d need time, I was still reeling over what I’d done, so I couldn’t imagine how she was feeling. I wish she’d spoken to me, earlier over how she was feeling, maybe things could have played out differently. But at least I was forgiven. Although what she’d said about knowing her, surely I'd remember her face. It was a face I never wanted to forget, so how could I have met her before?</p><p>
  <em> “Forget huh?” I smirked, grinning down at the cheeky blonde in a very relaxed version of her formal uniform. She had a set of aviators, which would be virtually useless this time of night, slotted around her neck, white collar popped wide open and tie MIA. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows and she had her jacket draped over the stool beside her so I had no idea her name or rank.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “A damn site better than this crap,” she said, waving her now empty glass at me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You know what,” I said. “Maybe you can.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh honey I know I can,” she replied confidently.  </em>
</p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>
  <em> I pulled my head away to suck in deep breaths of air, lips dropped to my neck leaving hot kisses in their wake. My back hit the hard wood of the door frame as I heard keys scratching up against the door, jingling as my mystery stranger tried to unlock their front door. With the keys safely in the lock two hands gripped my thighs and I gave a little jump as I was hoisted up in the air. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and felt him hold me with one hand while he twisted the key in the lock, finally allowing us inside.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What’s your name,” he breathed into my neck.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Does it matter?” I asked, grabbing the hair at the scruff of his neck, pulling his mouth back up to mine. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I guess not,” he replied and kicked the door closed behind him.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We were headed for the stairs and I kicked off my shoes along the way, each boot hitting the floor with a clunk. I pulled each of his buttons open with a pop as he made equally as quick work with mine. His head moved to between my breasts, kissing hot wet trails across the soft flesh. His nose brushed across my left one as his mouth slipped under the cup of my bra and wrapped around my nipple. I let go of his hair to reach around behind me and unclasp my bra.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> This really wasn’t where I saw my night going. </em>
</p><p>“You know we have Civil Engineers for this,” Rodney said. I rolled my eyes, double and triple checking my harness. Zelenka was beside him holding a tablet and going over the diagram one more time. “This is literally the reason we brought them out here.”</p><p>“Would you relax,” I shoved his shoulder lightly. “No one is going to make you go down there with me.”</p><p>“He gets vertigo if he stares over the edge of the building too long,” Zelenka told me, not looking up from the tablet. I walked over to check the winch and my safety lines one more time. </p><p>“Good thing this will be quick then,” I replied. I walked back over to the edge of the roof and perched with my legs hanging over the side. </p><p>“You ready?” Zelenka asked, and I nodded. </p><p>He handed me my toolkit and the first part I was to install on the ledge on the side of the building. Just as I was about to push off from the roof and climb down the exterior door opened with a loud metallic whine and someone stepped onto the roof with us. I looked up to see John making his way over and jumped off the edge in a panic. </p><p>I climbed the rest of the way as fast as I could and started up work. Hopefully he hadn’t seen me yet and if I just got to work down here he’d leave before I had to climb back up for the next part. I’d been avoiding him for weeks now since our conversation in the gym and I think he was beginning to notice. I’d told him I needed space, he’d said he understood but we’d gone from being so close to radio silence. I found myself missing him, but I also wanted to be very far away. I still wasn’t capable of separating John from the Iratus incident. </p><p>John POV</p><p>“Hey Rodney, Raddek,” I greeted when I reached the two scientists. Just as Weir had said they were out here, installing the first test of Evelyn’s power project. The two of them were here, but no Evelyn. I put my hands on my hips and stared out over the horizon. </p><p>“Colonel Sheppard,” Zelenka greeted. </p><p>“Did I just see Captain O’Neill?” I asked. </p><p>“No,” Rodney answered too quickly. I raised an eyebrow as he looked around awkwardly. I frowned and stepped closer to the edge, following the ropes down the side of the building. Halfway between the roof and the next floor down hung my subordinate working away with a blowtorch. </p><p>“Right,” I agreed. “She’s not here.”</p><p>“So she’s still hung up on the retrovirus thing..” Rodney said softly. “John I..”</p><p>“Save it,” I sighed, feeling the heavy breeze blow through my hair. “She’ll come back when she’s ready.”</p><p>“What exactly happened?” Rodney asked. “She told me nothing happened between the two of you. She was at your bedside the entire time you were in the med unit and as soon as you woke up it was like you had the plague. What gives?”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” I clapped him on the shoulder. “I just need to give her her space.”</p><p>I took one last look over the edge before I sighed and headed back for the door, shaking my head as I went. I couldn’t apologise again, even if I could get a moment with her, I doubted it would help. And hunting her down probably wasn’t helping either. But I didn’t just want to cast her off either. She was important to me and I didn’t want her to slip through my fingers like Nancy had. Especially since I cared arguably more about Evelyn than my ex wife. </p><p>I headed down to the mess where I found Ronon and Teyla already eating lunch and slumped down across from them. I rested my elbows on the table and rubbed my temples. I had to figure out how to fix this. </p><p>“Still avoiding you then?” Ronon asked and I groaned. </p><p>“I am confused, why is Evelyn avoiding you?” Teyla asked. </p><p>“Does it matter?” I asked and Teyla raised an eyebrow at me. “I was bit… out of character during one of the times she stopped by my quarters to check on me. I scared her. I got the opportunity to apologise when I got out of the infirmary, but sorry isn’t going to make it better.”</p><p>“You should confront her about it,” Ronon told me. Teyla slapped him quickly and he turned to glare at her. </p><p>“No he should not,” Teyla argued. “If you scared her then you need to be patient and wait for her to come to you. Seeking her out will only make her more frightened, push her further away.”</p><p>“How do I fix this?” I asked. “I feel like I’ve ruined our friendship.”</p><p>“You were very close before,” Teyla agreed. “I am not sure all is lost, John, perhaps I could speak with her, on your behalf?” </p><p>“I don’t know…” I sighed. Ordinarily, I’d relish in having a friend putting in a good word for me, but I didn’t really want O’Neill filling Teyla in on everything that had gone down. It wouldn’t look good, me seducing one of my subordinates. Worse what that bug John did to her. </p><p>“Maybe we should stay out of this one,” Ronon told her. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>“Okay,” I said into my radio. “I’m coming up for the next piece.”</p><p>I grabbed the top of the roof and pulled myself over the ledge, crawling over to McKay and Zelenka. The two of them exchanged a glance and looked back at me. I stood and folded my arm over my chest. I raised a brow.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“We think you’d been avoiding Colonel Sheppard too long,” Zelenka blurted out and McKay glared at him, smacking him over the top of the head. “Well you didn’t say anything!”</p><p>“You have your reasons,” McKay said to me. “And you don’t have to be his friend anymore if you don’t want, but there isn’t always going to be a roof to throw yourself off of when he’s around.”</p><p>“I know,” I said, sighing. Zelenka walked over to the box of half put together parts to begin collecting the next stage of the installation and gave us some privacy. “Believe me I know.”</p><p>“I wish you’d talk to me,” he said. “Tell me what happened.”</p><p>“It’s nothing, really,” I assured him. He didn’t look convinced. I felt the wind pick up, blowing through me enough to make me shiver. I’d picked one hell of a day to work on this. “I can get past this, I just need more time.”</p><p>“Alright,” he said frustratedly. “But I miss the way things used to be.”</p><p>“So do I,” I replied and accepted the next part and swung my leg back over the side of the roof. I did, I missed our old team dynamic. I missed going out on missions with Alpha team. I’d transferred temporarily to Major Lorne’s team and when he’d asked why I didn’t want to be on team Alpha anymore I’d said I just wasn’t coping with the guilt of putting my superior through that and that was enough. He’d accepted the response without question and we’d moved on. In a way, it wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the real reason. </p><p>Rodney POV</p><p>I stood shivering on the rooftop, huddled by Zelenka as we tried to stay close for warmth. The wind had been steadily picking up since we started working this morning and the clouds in the sky did nothing but darken. It would rain soon and this high up the drops would feel like bullets. </p><p>I looked up to the sound of Zelenka yelling at me but I couldn’t hear him clearly. I shuffled closer and leaned in. “What?”</p><p>“How much longer do you think we’ll have to stay out here?” Zelenka yelled. </p><p>“Hopefully not long,” I screamed back. “You know what she’s like when she gets a project.”</p><p>“I tried convincing her to come up for lunch while you went on your break earlier but there was no point, it was like talking to wall,” he told me. He yelled something else but I didn’t make it out.</p><p>“I don’t know how much longer we should be out here,” I told him. The storm was closely approaching. </p><p>“That’s what I said!” he yelled. “We should try to get Dr O’Neill to give up for the day.”</p><p><em> “Dr McKay, please respond,” </em>I heard Chuck say through my radio. </p><p>“McKay,” I said, touching my ice cold ear. </p><p><em> “Dr Weir would like to see you in her office,” </em>he told me. </p><p>I sighed and looked over the edge of the roof, feeling a wave of nausea as soon as I spotted O’Neill’s head of blonde hair. I’d tried to make her wear a helmet but she’d said at this height a helmet wouldn’t make much difference. Zelenka looked like he was swearing in Czech again but I couldn’t hear him. </p><p>“I need to move the gear, it’s getting blown away and damaged in the storm,” Zelenka told me. I glanced over at the crates of equipment being bashed around in the wind. </p><p>“Weir wants to see me,” I yelled. “I’ll be back.”</p><p>I headed inside, glad to be out of the freezing cold for a moment, warming up instantly to the point where my skin almost felt like it was burning. I hurried towards Weir’s office, hoping to get this over quickly. I didn’t exactly want to go back out there but I needed to keep an eye on her, otherwise she’d work through the storm. </p><p>“You’re freezing,” Weir commented. “I felt the air temperature drop as you entered the room.”</p><p>“I was just on the roof,” I reminded her and sat down in the chair across from her. I rubbed my hands together to get the feeling back into them. </p><p>“Still? I thought you would have given up by now for the weather,” she said. “The weather was supposed to be good today, which was why I approved the install but this freak storm carries on much longer and I’ll have to call it off. I’m surprised you haven’t already.”</p><p>“I would if I could,” I replied. “O’Neill needs to be doing something, all the time.”</p><p>“I can’t help but wonder if something happened between her and John,” Weir commented and I could feel myself getting annoyed. Why was everyone in Atlantis so invested in their relationship? And according to Evelyn, they didn’t have one. </p><p>“Was there a reason you called me here or was it just to gossip, because I have a couple subordinates on the roof I need to manage,” I replied sullenly. </p><p>“I did actually,” she shrugged her head to the side. “I wouldn’t say gossip, but I wanted to ask you how the Alpha Team has been since John’s come back to full duties again.”</p><p>“Well, we’ve essentially lost a team member,” I bit back. “Evelyn’s been going out on missions with Major Lorne since we gave John the antidote.”</p><p>“I see,” Weir said thoughtfully, leaning her elbows on the desk. “And the others?”</p><p>“Teyla and Ronon have gone back to normal, they know something isn’t right with John and Evelyn, and I think they want to know what but they’re fine. Sheppard’s moody as hell.”</p><p>“I had noticed he was more short than usual,” Weir agreed. “I think some time speaking with Heightmeyer would be useful here but I didn’t want to force anyone into it. I figured since Evelyn already saw Heightmeyer occasionally she would have no issue.”</p><p>“If this goes on any longer… I just wish she’d talk to me, we’re friends,” I replied. </p><p>“Much longer and I’ll make it an order, rather than a suggestion,” Weir assured me and I nodded, exiting her office. My stomach rumbled. Zelenka should be fine for a little longer…</p><p>John POV</p><p>I found myself staring out over the city as Evelyn often did when she was in here with me. I understood why it was soothing. Even with the wind howling and dark clouds swirling around outside it seemed to put things in perspective. In the blink of an eye the rain began pelting down, bouncing off the glass window and signalling the start of the storm.I shook my head. I shouldn’t be getting this distracted. </p><p>It was dinner, maybe I could sit at the same side of the table as Evelyn and work my way from there. I walked down the hallway and headed for the transporter and stepped inside. My radio crackled to life and I sighed. What now?</p><p><em> “John, are you near the roof?” </em>McKay said urgently. </p><p>“I’m in the transporter, do I need to be?” I asked, pressing the button to take me as close as I could be to where they had been working today. </p><p><em> “I’ve lost contact with Zelenka and O’Neill and they’re not inside,” </em> he answered. <em> “I stepped inside to speak with Weir and he stayed to watch over her and no one has seen them. They should be finished by now..” </em></p><p>“Don’t worry, I’m on my way,” I assured him and ran down the hallway. I rounded a corner and saw a stack of equipment crates and by the exterior door. They must have started packing up when the storm hit. </p><p>Even with the noise of the wind and the rain I could hear banging against the door. I tried to open it but it seemed fixed shut. I slammed my shoulder into it, no use. I sighed, I could try kicking it in, but it would probably be no use. </p><p>“Control, this is Colonel Sheppard,” I said. </p><p><em> “Go ahead Colonel Sheppard,” </em> I heard someone respond. </p><p>“I need an emergency team to the exterior door of the south tower’s rooftop, the door’s jammed shut and Dr Zelenka and Captain O’Neill are trapped outside,” I replied. </p><p><em> “Copy that, sending a team now,” </em> control told me. <em> “Do you need anything else?” </em></p><p>“I’m not sure for now, still no luck getting a hold of either of them?” I asked. </p><p><em> “Unfortunately the storm’s causing too much interference,” </em>control told me. </p><p>“Well that’s just perfect,” I sighed. “Alright, I’ll radio if I need anything else. Maybe have Beckett on standby to check them for hypothermia.”</p><p>
  <em> “Copy that.” </em>
</p><p>I tried the door again, moving to kick it open but then I remembered it opened internally and started cursing. There was more banging on the door and I sighed. I moved closer to the door. </p><p>“Guys, it’s me John,” I yelled through the metal. “I know it’s bad out there but we’re doing everything we can to get you inside. You just need to be patient.” </p><p>“O’Neill is still harnessed to the side of the building!!” Zelenka screamed through the metal. </p><p>“What?” I couldn’t believe this. Why hadn’t he pulled her up? </p><p>“I said O’Neill is still harnessed to the side of the building,” he called. </p><p>“Yeah yeah I heard you right the first time,” I said, more to myself than anything. “WHY?”</p><p>“The winch is broken! It jammed in the rain and she can’t climb back up one handed,” he told me and I pressed my radio. </p><p>“Command, I need a second winch, the one up on the roof is broken,” I explained. </p><p><em> “Understood Colonel Sheppard, sending someone up now,” </em>they told me. Things in the pegasus were never easy. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>“Must you smite me God?” I screamed, kicking the glass window my foot was near in anger. </p><p>I didn’t want to be hanging off the side of a building in a freak thunderstorm as lightning flashed in the distance, but I guess this is what I get for jumping off a ledge to avoid my CO. </p><p>I gripped tightly to the ledge I’d been fixing the wind generator to, puddles of wanted making it difficult to get any real security from it. The wind battered me from all sides and the rain soaked me through to my bones. My skin burned with each drop hitting me and my fingers felt numb as they grasped the wet metal. I’d long since dropped my blowtorch in the swing of being thrown about. I’d be dead by now if not for the safety harness and rope. </p><p>I hadn’t actually heard what Zelenka had been yelling at me earlier, but I gathered there was a reason he hadn’t simply pulled me up when the rain first started. I also assured myself he hadn’t just left me hanging here to die, because it had been a while since I’d seen him. </p><p>I let out a shiver, it was almost pitch black outside, I couldn’t see anything more than five feet from me and my eyes stung with the water dripping into them. I wanted to cry, but I was much too exhausted to even try. I knew I should have gone with the wave generators this morning. Think of how much power they’d be generating right about now. At least then I’d be less likely to fall to my death. </p><p>John POV</p><p>The rooftop door fell to the ground with a clank and I sighed in relief, finally we were through. We’d been at it for over half an hour before eventually the emergency team was left with no other option but to saw the door open. Zelenka came into view instantly, dripping wet from head to toe and leaving puddles of water as he hurried into the building. </p><p>“The winch is jammed and there’s no way to pull the cables back up and get Captain O’Neill on the roof,” Zelenka said. “We will need to get a second winch to pull her up.”</p><p>“That means we’d have to fully disconnect her from the one she’s currently attached to, sir,” one of the combat engineers told me. I nodded, waiting for them to tell me why this was a problem. “To do this safely we need to send someone else down, attached to the good winch to hold on to her while we move her over. The weather conditions are too extreme to do it any other way.</p><p>“Send me down,” I replied. </p><p>“Sir..”</p><p>“That wasn’t a question,” I yelled and there was some frantic movement beside me as someone rummaged around for another harness. </p><p>“Yes sir,” they replied and I stepped into the harness when it was handed to me. </p><p>I was quickly suited up and had my cables attached before heading out into the thick of it. I walked straight over to the edge of the building. I breathed a sigh of relief when my torchlight illuminated the top of her dripping blonde hair. I was soaked through already, I could only imagine how she was feeling, having been out in this for hours. </p><p>I looked over to check on the emergency team. They’d anchored the winch to the roof and were almost done fixing my ropes to it. I looked up and they gave me the signal. I leaned over the edge and screamed down to Evelyn. She didn’t hear me at first. I made sure I had seedy footing and made my way over the side. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I shivered aggressively in the icy cold. No matter how hard my body tried, I couldn’t keep any heat. The wind swung me around on the ropes holding me to the building and I slammed into the side again. I let out a pained groan, cursing whatever God I’d pissed off enough to keep ending up in these situations. </p><p>Just above the howl of the wind I could hear screaming. I wondered if it was Zelenka, and contemplated just taking off my harness and killing myself. I was starting to see why McKay was always yelling at the man. He was not good in a crisis. </p><p>“EVELYN!” I heard and looked up at the voice. It was John. Despite everything I’d done trying to avoid the man, I’d never been happier to see him in my life. “Bad news!”</p><p>“Please explain to me how this could get worse!” I yelled back, feeling the momentary joy dissipate.</p><p>“The winch is broken,” he told me. “And we’re going to have to move you over to the new one.”</p><p>I let out a scream. “What?” I demanded. The weather was too bad. Protocol would normally have someone come down here and attach me to their safety line so I wouldn't fall to my death while they were doing this but even if there was someone to do that, I wasn’t sure the weather conditions would allow, even if someone was around to override the safety protocols. If it was too dangerous to perform the rescue…</p><p>“I’m coming down, don’t worry!” he yelled and swung his leg over the edge. </p><p>I gripped the ledge tighter. I was still worried. I watched him through my soaking wet hair, eyes stinging as the rain burned them. He made quick, steady work of climbing down to me slipping only once against the sleek metal and glass. </p><p>“I’m still worried,” I told him when he was within earshot and he chuckled. He grabbed me tightly as soon as he could and immediately started attaching my harness to his with the clips and ropes. </p><p>“OKAY!” He barked up at the emergency workers. </p><p>I wrapped my arm around him, locking my legs around his waist and letting go of the ledge now he was here. All worry and fear and anxiety of the past melted away as I clung to him. Now they only worry, fear and anxiety I had was for our lives as we hung out here in this weather. Forget Iratus John and the guilt and the CO/Relationship drama. I needed him, and I needed him to hold me here as our lives hung quite literally in the balance. </p><p>“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he repeated over and over as he held me back just as tightly. “I got you, I got you.”</p><p>“John,” I gasped desperately. </p><p>“You’re freezing,” he commented, rubbing my arms to try and warm me up. </p><p>“It’s no use out here,” I called out. “Between the rain and the wind all heat gets stolen away as quickly as you can generate it.”</p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked. </p><p>“Yeah, I am now,” I told him honestly. “John I’m sorry.”</p><p>“What for?” he yelled back. His usually messy hair was plastered to his forehead, dripping water down his face and making him squint as it poured into his eyes. </p><p>“For avoiding you for so long,” I replied and he shook his head. </p><p>“Really? You wanna talk about this now?” he laughed. “I keep telling you, there’s nothing to apologise for. You asked for time, I gave you time. You asked for space, I gave you space. The only question I have is do you want more?”</p><p>“I tried so hard to figure this out,” I replied. “I can’t. I have no idea what to do. But, since I’ve been hanging off this building I realised it’s not something I can figure out on my own.”</p><p>“You wanna talk it out with me?” he asked. I wanted to laugh at the situation. It had literally taken an unpredicted storm, an accident and the two of us hanging off the side of a building to get us to this point. And we were screaming it at each other to be heard over the noise. </p><p>“Later, when we’re not about to die,” I replied. </p><p>I felt us being tugged slightly higher and looked up. There was a combat engineer leaning over the edge of the roof. He gave us the signal he was going to start bringing us back up now, that tugging I’d felt before having been a test. </p><p>“We’re not gonna die,” John said. “We’re almost at the top.”</p><p>“We still might die of hypothermia,” I said. “Or I might have PTSD induced heart attack.”</p><p>“You’re gonna be fine,” he told me, and leant in to hold me a bit tighter. </p><p>Eventually I had to untangle my legs from his waist so we could get over the slight lip around the edge of the roof. Once we were up we staggered a bit, joined together with clips and rope. John made quick work of separating us and I headed inside as quickly as possible. I started shimmying out of my harness and handed it over to someone else so I could work on getting warm and dry. </p><p>“Oh there you are love,” Beckett said, rushing towards me with towels and blankets. He wrapped a towel around me and then handed one to John. I started drying myself off with the towel until it was too wet to do anything and then ditched it in favour of the blanket. </p><p>“She was freezing earlier,” John told him. </p><p>“Aye, well let's get you two the infirmary and check you out properly,” Beckett said and I felt John follow along behind me. </p><p>Once we were in the infirmary I saw Rodney look up and breathe a sigh of relief. He had been sitting beside Zelenka who was looking only a little drier than we were. He looked absolutely miserable and I almost wanted to chuckle. McKay moved from where he’d stood instinctively when he’d seen us and rushed over. </p><p>“You’re okay,” he said and I nodded, smiling and then pulled him in for a wet hug. </p><p>“Thanks for sending John after us,” I said. </p><p>“I hope you don’t mind, I just,” he said. “I knew he would know what to do.”</p><p>“I would hope so,” I laughed. “It is his job. He wrote most of the protocols. But thanks, I was worried when our radios didn’t work. More worried when Raddik didn’t pull me up and instead screamed unintelligibly at me and then disappeared for the rest of the night.”</p><p>“He’s really not good in a crisis, is he?” John said, amazed, and I laughed, shaking my head. </p><p>“No,” I smiled.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. About Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I sat half dry under a few more blankets as Beckett checked me over one more time. John had been cleared, as he hadn’t been out in those conditions nearly as long as I had, but he’d stuck around. Zelenka was a few beds over, eating some hot soup McKay had gotten him and warming up by the heater. He seemed in no rush to leave, but I couldn’t wait to get out. I wanted out of these soaking clothes as soon as possible but more pressingly, I wanted to talk more privately with John since he’d suspended himself off the side of a building for me. </p><p>“All right,” Beckett said. “So long as you keep yourself warm and come back if you feel off at all, I’m quite sure you’re right to go home. You were lucky, any longer out there and you could have been in real trouble.”</p><p>“Well I guess I’ll plan my bungee jumps in freak storms better next time,” I rolled my eyes. </p><p>“Go home,” he sighed and shoved me lightly. </p><p>I smiled and jumped off the bed, leaving my hospital blankets behind and walking over to where John was waiting. He was still equally as wet but hadn’t been using a blanket at all. He pushed off the wall he’d been leaning against and closed the distance between us. </p><p>“Aren’t you cold?” I asked. He shook his head in disagreement and then started walking the rest of the way out of the medbay. </p><p>“I wasn’t out there nearly as long,” he told me. “You want me to walk you home? Are you hungry, do you want to go to the mess?”</p><p>“Can I walk <em> you </em>home?” I asked, pausing in the empty corridor. “I want to get this started, before I chicken out and the view from your window is much nicer than mine.”</p><p>“What would people think, a young woman coming over this late at night, Evelyn, my reputation would be ruined,” he joked and I laughed. I started us moving again and felt his knuckles brush against the back of my hand. It was as close as we could be in public and it was enough. </p><p>“You know I’ve never seen anyone except you in that corridor ever,” I commented. “How do I keep missing everyone else?”</p><p>“Your shift times,” he replied. “You keep similar hours to me and I put myself on the crappy shifts.”</p><p>“Surely, if you made the rota you should put yourself on all the best shifts,” I said and he nodded. </p><p>“Guess I’m just not very good at abusing power,” he sighed. I smiled, shaking my head. I knew he wasn’t the type to ruin my life over something like this, he didn’t need to try and slip it into every conversation he had with me.</p><p>He waved his hand over the door to his quarters and the lock opened and let us in. He let me step in first and the door closed after him. It was less sinister feeling than I’d expected it to be after last time I was here. I probably would have been more comfortable in my room, but I wanted to get back on the horse so to speak, and feel as comfortable here as I did before the retrovirus. </p><p>He moved to walk through the room but I stepped in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. He raised an eyebrow and I shoved him back against the door, leaning up to kiss him as I’d wanted to when we were harnessed together and he’d held me. Despite what had happened, he was still the person I wanted to be with when I needed comfort. </p><p>Slow and a little confused at first, John kissed me back, holding my upper arms and rubbing them soothingly. His arms circled my back and he pulled me closer. I could tell he was confused, he had lots of questions and I also needed to ask some of my own before this went anywhere, but I just wanted this moment first. </p><p>“So much for talking,” he said when I pulled back, and I scoffed. </p><p>“I had to wait for a private moment before I kissed you,” I told him. </p><p>“How long have you been waiting?” he raised a brow and walked further towards the centre of the room. </p><p>“Since your daring rescue,” I shrugged and followed him to stand in front of his bed. </p><p>Looking at it, I thought back to all the time spent laying in it. I’d been perched at the edge of it with his face between my legs, I’d been laid on my side and seen the city out the window while he pulled me closer behind him, I’d sat on his lap and rocked until the two of us felt frantic yet delicious bliss, and I’d spent hours sleeping better than I had in years. </p><p>“What’s going on in there?” John asked, sweeping some of my half dry hair behind my ear and leaning down to study my expression. I looked up to meet his eyes, rather than stare at the crisp white sheets. </p><p>“This would all be so much easier if all you’d wanted from me last month was a quick fuck,” I told him and he sighed, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. </p><p>“I know,” he said. “But things are never easy in the Pegasus Galaxy.”</p><p>“Doesn’t that get old?” I asked, I often found myself wondering if this really was the better option. My only option. </p><p>“I used to think flying was the only thing that could get my heart beating this fast, I used to get antsy if I hadn’t done it in a while, arms scratching like a junkie. But being out here? That’s better. For me there’s no going back. Sure there’s things I miss, like ferris wheels and football games and stuff, but you can do that on a visit. This is my home now,” he explained. “Are you having second thoughts?”</p><p>“Not about missions,” I said. “But I do keep wondering if this really was the only path I could have taken, if this was my only choice. I do okay, without my arm but if there are any hopes of another, here’s the only choice. But… I think I’d be okay living an ordinary life, I wouldn’t struggle too badly. I’d get used to it. But it’s like you said, I miss the adrenalin. The excitement of flying, of being in the action. It does bother me, sometimes when everything is one step forward, three back but I need to be close to flying.”</p><p>“I think we can excuse your wondering, just so long as you’re not unhappy here,” he said. He leaned his head down to the crook of my neck as he wrapped his arms around me again and rubbed my back. </p><p>“No, I’m not unhappy,” I said. “I’m stressed. I’m upset I’m not making any progress but I’m not unhappy.”</p><p>“You’re a thinker, you’re like McKay. It actually drives him insane when he can’t figure something out,” John told me. His hand was in my hair, gently pulling the hair tie out to run his fingers through the strands. “It’s normal. What about comfort? Are you still comfortable here?”</p><p>“I do okay on Lorne’s team. It’s not really the same. He and I get along well, but I miss the banter between the whole team,” I told him. “But I needed to move to his team. I needed to be away from the situation for a while. It gave me some time to think. With us, a lot happened in such a short amount of time.”</p><p>“Did it though?” he asked me. “It felt like it was building for so long.”</p><p>“I liked you since the computer virus on the Daedalus,” I told him, pulling back a little to step out of his arms. “When you pulled me the F302 and your hands were barely touching me, but it set my skin on fire. And it built from there. I respect you John, you’re a good CO but that’s part of the problem.”</p><p>“What exactly is your issue with me being your CO? You’re on Major Lorne’s team now, so technically I’m just the military leader, so that changes things at least a little, right? It can’t be my rank, because only being able to date people the same rank as you would be ridiculous. And I don’t recall you having an issue when I was a Major.”</p><p>“You’re right, it doesn’t have much to do with rank, I didn’t mind sleeping with you as a one off all those years ago. But it’s different now. You’re not <em> just </em>anything. I don’t want people looking at me and thinking I only got where I did or what I have because I slept with someone important,” I explained, crossing my forearm over my chest to rest at my stump. “I already got a fair amount of that because of who my Dad is.”</p><p>“The people here, they’re not like that,” John said, stepping forward, trying to close the gap between us. “No one’s going to think that, or suggest that. And I’m not asking you to walk out of here and send a mass email to everyone on the expedition and declare our profound love. I just want to take you places, share things with you.”</p><p>“We can do that in private. I don’t want a public relationship,” I told him, throwing my arm out to the side.</p><p>“And that’s okay,” John said and I shook my head, taking another step back. </p><p>“Are you really saying you’d be okay sneaking around, hiding things?” I asked, running my hand through my bangs. “What are we going to tell our friends? Weir? There’s paperwork. There’s so much more involved now.”</p><p>“Okay, listen to me,” he told me, taking my hand and leading me over to the bed, sitting down with me on the end. I stared up at him, huffing out a deep breath. I wanted him, but I couldn’t shut out the possibilities of things going wrong.I saw them all, assaulting my judgement at every turn. </p><p>“Stop coming up with reasons to not do this. I don’t need convincing and if you’ve made up your mind you don’t owe me an explanation. If you don’t want this, that’s enough. But if you do? We can deal with everything together, if you actually let us get out the gate.”</p><p>“I want you,” I said. “I thought it was just attraction, sexual tension but the longer I spent away from you the more I realised there were more intimate feelings involved. And I think that was scarier. But I do want you.”</p><p>
  <em> My pulse hammered in my ears, my entire body felt white hot. The Major had thrown me on the bed, dragged my ass to the edge and my pants and panties were in a pile on the floor. Feet wearing black socks dug their heels into his shoulder blades. I clenched my muscles instinctually at the feeling, fighting with myself as I tried to stop myself from shaking at the same time as I tried to stop myself from crushing his head between my thighs. The slurping noises he was making were almost pornographic as he lapped hungirly at my folds. I lost all self control when he caught my clit between his teeth and sucked, hard.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I was glad he didn’t live on base and I could scream as loud as I wanted. And he didn’t seem to mind the noise either. I had both hands gripping his messy hair, hips rocking into his mouth as he held me captive with just the power of his lips and tongue. I hoped this was the sign of a good lover and not that of someone was aware they had to compensate for something.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I looked up at the white ceiling and the slight amount of street light that had peaked through the blinds from the street and left patterns on the paint. My breathing slowed down and I noticed the Major had freed himself from between my legs and was crawling up to lay beside me. He propped himself up beside me, leaning on his elbow as my juices dribbled down his chin, grinning proudly at me. I smiled and ran my hands over his naked chest, swirling my fingers over the light amount of hair.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He leaned down to kiss me and I brought my hands to his waist, undoing his belt buckle and fly. His trousers were practically ripped open and off and he was spreading my knees apart again.  </em>
</p><p>I didn’t know what possessed me to agree to showering at John’s quarters, when all I had with me was my soaking wet uniform, but I was glad I did. His fingers were currently massaging the base of my skull while his tongue traced the grooves on the roof of my mouth. My legs were wrapped around his waist and his hips bounced off mine. </p><p>“John,” I gasped, starting to shake around him. He leaned further forward, pressing me into the cold tiles harder. “Fuck.”</p><p>The hot water was beating down on my skin and it was a stark contrast to earlier this evening when we were trapped in the same position, in the pitch black and dangerous storm. I moaned into him as he let go of me with one hand and brought it between us. I pressed my forehead into his and steadied my breathing. </p><p>“Do you wanna stay over?” he asked as I pulled back and bit my wrist to stop me from screaming out at him. I felt it wash over me, shaking and gasping. I opened my eyes again finally to look down at him while he held me up. </p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded through laboured breathing. </p><p>“Great,” he said, continuing to thrust. I was over stimulated and still experiencing aftershocks, jerking forward with each of his thrusts. I whimpered occasionally, head thrown back, somehow still sweaty even though water blanketed my skin.  </p><p>He’d gotten sloppy, which meant he was closing in on his own orgasm. He let out a low groan and brought his head forward to rest between my breasts. He took a moment to recover, leaning a fair amount of weight on me but holding steady. Slowly, he lowered me down to the ground making sure I was steady on my feet before he let me go completely. I felt something sticky drop down onto my thigh as I leaned against the wall. I dropped my hand down between my thighs to flick the white liquid off my skin and down onto the shower floor. I watched it spin the drain a couple times before disappearing into the pipes.</p><p>“I’ll grab you a towel while you finish up in here,” he told me.</p><p>Pulling the shower door open, he freed the steam and let in the cooler air making me shiver slightly and he smirked, looking down at my now tightly peaked nipples. The devilish grin he gave me when he looked back up shot straight to my core, making me rub my thighs together despite us having only just finished fucking. </p><p>He stepped out of the shower and closed the door after him. I watched him go to the towel rail and start to dry himself off before wrapping it around his waist. He went to the mirror and wiped away some of the steam, catching my stare in the reflection. He winked at me and started brushing his teeth. This was a dangerous game, but I’d finally decided I was playing. </p><p>I pushed off the wall and bent forward under the spray to wash down my thighs and between my legs. Coming in here to warm up was quite possibly the best idea John ever had. I’m glad I stopped trying to hide my shivers from him. </p><p>Rinsing my body and hair off one more time before turning off the taps, I rung out the soggy strands of hair trailing down my back. Pulling open the door and stepping out I found John was waiting with a fresh towel and handed it to me. I wrapped it around myself and stepped onto the floor mat. He winked at me again and then made his way out to the bedroom. </p><p>I smiled to myself, if only it could all be this easy. </p><p>
  <em> I shifted under the heavy weight. The Major was snoring on top of me, promptly after some mind shattering sex, he’d dropped down, forgoing even pulling out and started sleeping. I couldn’t exactly blame him, not only had he put in a tremendous amount of work just now, he was also extremely drunk. I was impressed he’d gotten this far, or given me as many orgsms.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Slowly I was able to coax him up and off of me, he semi-consciously pulled out and rolled onto his back before going back to his snoring. I contemplated going to sleep myself but I was being driven mad by the sound of him. I pushed myself up off the mattress and started tiptoeing around for my clothes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Eventually it was down to my boots I’d dropped on the stairs and the jacket I’d dropped at the door. I was contemplating just leaving but as I looked back I sighed. He’d just gotten a divorce. I spotted the notepad on his bedside table and picked up the pen. If this was just a one off, no harm, no foul. If he wanted to see me again? He could.  </em>
</p><p>I walked into John’s bedroom to find him shaking out my damp uniform and hanging them on coat hangers so they wouldn’t dry creased then moving them closer to the heater. I perched on his bed and waited for him to finish. He sauntered over, ripped his towel off and tossed it on the table beside his bed. Throwing himself down on the mattress, he grinned at me. I chuckled to myself and put my towel beside his and slid under the blankets with him. </p><p>John POV</p><p>
  <em> I groaned, head throbbing. How I managed to get back to my house was a goddamn miracle. I pushed myself up and looked to the side, I was sure someone was supposed to be there. I sighed, figuring I was probably still missing Nancy. She wasn’t coming back, it was over. I needed to move on. I needed to stop waking up thinking someone was going to be there.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I threw back the sheets and stretched. I didn’t usually sleep naked but I could probably chalk that down to stumbling in last night, hammered. Athough, looking down at the mattress, there was a still drying wet patch that made the idea of company last night pretty undeniable. Whoever she was, left. I sighed, can’t even keep someone round for a couple of hours, way to go, John. I looked at the alarm clock on my bedside table. 6am. I groaned again. Moving over to grab a bottle of water and pain pills from the drawer, which after these last few months of unsupervised benders, I now kept as a staple. I paused on my way back to lean up against the pillows. Scrawled in slightly smudged blue ink was a note.  </em>
</p><p><b> <em>Thanks,</em> </b> <b> <em><br/></em> </b> <b> <em>12-397-681</em> </b></p><p>
  <em> “What kind of a phone number is that?” I grumbled to myself and slumped back down. If she couldn’t come up with a decent fake, the least she could do was not leave one.  </em>
</p><p>“That was your service number, wasn’t it?” I asked and she moaned into the pillow. Pushing herself up she looked at me, annoyed I’d woken her just after she’d gotten to sleep. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The note you left me, a few years ago,” I explained and she nodded, rubbing her face with her right hand. “I was still pretty hammered when I found it, I thought it was a phone number.”</p><p>“I figured if you really wanted to find me, you would,” she shrugged. “But that soon after a divorce, I don't think we would have worked out.”</p><p>“Do you think there’s a reason we bumped into each other again after all these years?” I asked. She scoffed. </p><p>“Yes,” she told me simply. “It’s because we both serve in the United States Airforce, now go to sleep or I’m going back to my own room.”</p><p>I chuckled and lowered myself down onto the mattress beside her. She pushed herself over so she was resting half on me, half on the bed, face resting on the pillow between the crook of my neck. I slid an arm under her and used it to stroke the skin between her shoulders softly. </p><p>“Night,” I told her and she muttered something into the pillow I didn’t quite catch. I chuckled and felt her slowly drift back off. </p><p>I looked up at the ceiling and sighed, how was I going to fix this one? I got the girl, now I needed to keep her. And like she’d said, this would be difficult. I’d have to let Weir in early on, as I’d need her approval and with it on record, it then made it that much easier to prove there was no extortion going on. But that then meant there was no privacy, and our every action would be under scrutiny. And General O’Neill would be pretty pissed too. I imagine this wasn’t what he had in mind when he asked me to look after his daughter. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I woke up to fingertips ghosting over my spine and I blinked myself awake. My skin broke out in goosebumps wherever his hands hovered, barely touching me but still making me shiver. Pushing myself up, I looked over at the clock, it was still early. I saw John looking sheepishly at me as I moved to a sitting position. </p><p>“Sorry,” he said. “I couldn't decide if I should let you sleep in some more or not..”</p><p>“Yeah,” I nodded. “The skeleton shift will be ending soon and then the corridors will become a lot more crowded. It’s probably for the best.”</p><p>“So…” he started, looking like he wanted to ask me something. I sat back on my knees, feeling the sheets pool around my waist and my nipples perking in cold morning air. I sincerely hoped the question he wanted to ask was ‘round two?’.</p><p>“What?” I said, corners of my mouth twitching up into a lazy smirk.</p><p>“Can I start scheduling you for missions on my team again?” He asked. </p><p>I raised an eyebrow, pulling back a little. Not where I saw that going. I opened my mouth to speak but paused. I’d spoken about how much good being on Lorne’s team had done for me. But I’d also said I’d missed being on Alpha team. </p><p>John pushed himself up when I hesitated. Slowly, I nodded, biting my lip as I looked past him. It wouldn’t be so bad, but it didn’t feel like such a good idea, especially if we were giving this a try. The space was good, it kept us focused. It kept us safe. Kept this secret.</p><p>“Yeah,” I agreed. </p><p>“You don’t sound all that happy about it, if it’s too soon..” he started and I sighed. This really wasn’t where I wanted my morning to start. </p><p>“It’s not that, I’m just not sure it’s such a good idea for us to be starting this and being on the same team,” I told him and he sat back against the pillows, waiting for me to explain. “For starters, there’s no way we’ll be able to keep this thing a secret if we’re together all the time around our friends. They’re smart people, they’re bound to notice. Even the most unobservant person could notice the way we act around each other.”</p><p>“All the more reason not to hide this,” he prodded and I put my forehead in my hand, closing my eyes with a sigh.</p><p>“I thought you were okay with this,” I said. Pinching the bridge of my nose I felt his hands coming towards me, moving to hold me by the waist. I scooted back on the bed, dodging his affection and swinging my legs over the side to go and get dressed. If he put his hands on me, I might change my mind.</p><p>“Nevermind,” I told him. I needed time to think about this. “We can talk about this later.”</p><p>I moved to where my clothes had been drying overnight and pulled them off their hangers. They’d amazingly dried reasonably unwrinkled and I could probably pass the visible creases off as ordinary daily wear from movement, from sitting in a lab or laying down rather than them being yesterday’s clothes. </p><p>I tucked the black uniform button down into the waistband of my slacks and pulled my hair back, struggling a little to do it one handed since I’d left my prosthetic with the lab equipment stored in the hallway yesterday, understanding it would get taken back to our storage room with the rest of the stuff while I went to the infirmary.</p><p>I spared John one last glance as I stepped through the door to the outside world and internally sighed. He didn’t exactly look thrilled that this was how we were parting after attempting to fix things last night, but, Rome wasn’t built in a day. We knew we wanted each other, we always had, but what we had to figure out was how and if it was all going to be worth it in the end. </p><p>I headed straight for the lab and grabbed my honeycombed prosthetic off the bench by the printed. Spinning on my heel and storming out to get breakfast before John got up there I almost slammed straight into Rodney. He looked up at me, confused to see me in our lab this early. Shit, what could I say?</p><p>“You’re up early,” he commented and I shrugged. </p><p>“Yeah, with all the excitement last night I found sleeping a little difficult. I got a few hours but woke up and couldn’t get back down. I went to the gym for a while and then headed in here,” I said. </p><p>“Usually when you’re here this early it’s because you haven’t slept yet,” he said. “How much sleep do you think you actually got?”</p><p>“Enough, at least four hours,” I replied honestly. John and I were up pretty late and I’d had to get up pretty early. That didn’t leave much time for shuteye, but I still felt pretty well rested. I always did when I was slotted in beside him.</p><p>“What are you doing, lurking here by yourself, this early in the morning? You up to no good?” I teased. </p><p>“Oh ease up,” he rolled his eyes. “Don’t try to take the attention off you. I’m regarded as one of the worst for getting no sleep on this base and since you got here you blew that all out of the water. You’re part of my team, it’s my job to check up on you,” he told me and I chuckled. “And if you must know, I’m up this early because my tablet went off signalling there was a weird anomaly in the corridor nearby. I’m here to check your little friend is where it’s supposed to be.”</p><p>“Micro,” I called out, tapping my fingernails on the bench. He scurried out from the little cave I’d made for him on my desk coming over to greet me immediately. He jumped across to the counter I was standing beside and crawled up my arm when he got to me. </p><p>“Is the issue ongoing?” I asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” he nodded. “You’ll need to check it’s logs to make sure it stayed here all night. But you can do that later. Right now, breakfast.”</p><p>I chuckled and followed him out of the lab and into the corridor. I wasn’t paying much attention to our route, since it was one I’d committed to memory months ago. I looked up from Micro who was obediently perching on my shoulder and almost slammed into McKay for the second time today. I skidded to a stop, boots squeaking on the flooring as I stared at Rodney’s back. I peaked round him to see why he’d stopped dead in the hallway just shy of the transporter and spotted John stepping out. </p><p>“Ah, just who I was coming to see,” he said, smiling innocently at the two of us. I narrowed my eyes at him. I should have known I got out of things too easily. </p><p>“Well we were just heading to breakfast,” McKay said. “Why don’t you join us, can we discuss it there?”</p><p>“Sure,” John smiled. “Sounds good.”</p><p>The three of us squeezed into the transporter together and I tried not to make eye contact as I stood sandwiched between my two bosses. The doors couldn’t have opened soon enough and I dove out into the corridor leaving an Evelyn shaped dust cloud. </p><p>“Jesus Evelyn, how hungry are you? You’re heading to the mess faster than McKay,” John commented and I rolled my eyes.</p><p>“Hey!” Rodney cried out and I would ordinarily have chuckled if I wasn’t so annoyed at John’s resilience. </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Tension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>Eyes locked in an intense battle of wills, I sat across from John, barely listening to McKay rabbiting on beside me at our usual table in the mess. He went from mouthful after mouthful of food, occasionally spraying it everywhere as he refused to either slowdown or talk between mouthfuls. He’d yet to actually tell us what the anomaly he’d discovered was, just the process in which he’d set up the alert program and what it wasn’t. I doubted John was paying him much attention either, but we weren’t exactly missing much. </p><p>“So do you actually know what this anomaly is?” John asked, apparently having been paying more attention than I’d thought. </p><p>“Yes, I just said it’s a surge of some kind followed by an outage,” Rodney answered. </p><p>“Yes, but what does that mean?” I grumbled. </p><p>“Well I shouldn’t have to tell you it’s likely that the outage was caused by…” he started before I broke gaze with John to turn and grab Ronday’s lapels. </p><p>“Do you, or do you not understand <em> exactly </em> what caused this anomaly and how we can prevent it from happening again?” I snarled and he looked a little taken aback. </p><p>“Uh.. well no,” he said a little softer, shooting me a somewhat hurt look. I frowned, I shouldn’t have snapped at him. “Like I said earlier, I went to make sure your little friend was where he was supposed to be because it seems to have been manual..”</p><p>“You think someone or something did this,” I said surprised and he nodded. “And if it’s something, it could do it again and cause more damage, someone and we have a much bigger problem…”</p><p>“Exactly,” Rodney said. “And I’m still not exactly sure what damage to this particular system means for the city.”</p><p>“Great,” John sighed. He lent forward on the table, resting his head in one of his hands and rubbed his forehead. I chewed the inside of my gum. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Ronon and Teyla approaching with their trays, ready to eat breakfast together as a team. Which I was not officially a part of anymore. </p><p>“Well don’t you look like a barrel of laughs this morning,” Ronon commented, dropping his tray on the table and pulling his chair back. John moved one seat over to sit across from McKay and made room for Teyla. The two of them sat down before Teyla also chose to comment.</p><p>“Yes, I must agree, you are a chipper bunch,” Teyla said sarcastically, feeling the tension at the table. Thankfully one that, regardless of how it started, was no longer caused by me.</p><p>“We’ve got a problem in the city,” John told them. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. With the three of them in front of me I realised I was surrounded by a very skilled, very perceptive committee of people who were now able to observe me and my every action. And McKay was beside me. </p><p>“So early? I haven’t even had breakfast yet,” Ronon replied and Rodney made noises of agreed indignation. “So what’s the problem?”</p><p>McKay opened his mouth to start his waffled rant from the beginning but I put my hand over his mouth and answered for him, still in kind of a bad mood now I’d run into John again. I think his plan was to stop me running off on my own for weeks while I came to a decision on my own like I had last time. I knew it wasn’t fair, playing hot and cold. And I knew if we really were discussing the idea of being a future couple, of dating and seeing where this went, then I needed to start making decisions for <em> us </em> and I needed to do it <em> with </em>him. </p><p>Still, he didn’t need to force my hand. His earlier approach had been maintaining his distance and waiting patiently, where had that option gone? It was like now he knew I wasn’t afraid of him, that I never had been, not really, and I wasn’t uncomfortable being around him, he’d decided to go full throttle. Either that or I’d completely exhausted his patience. </p><p>“The city’s taken damage which is causing weird readings and we’re not sure if it was caused by man or machine,” I summarised and Ronon nodded, shovelling food into his mouth, looking relieved I’d nipped the McKay situation in the bud. I pulled my hand off Rodney’s mouth and he immediately went back to eating.</p><p>“Both options are bad,” John continued. “We don’t have any idea yet what the damage will do long term, or even what systems it’s affecting. If it’s machines then there’s no telling what more damage they could cause, and if it’s man or man like creature, then there’s intruders in the city and we don’t know what they want or why they caused that damage where they caused it.”</p><p>“They could be targeting something specific,” I said. “Could be shields or cloaking, leaving us permanently exposed, could be power, preventing us from using most of if not all of the city. Could be life support, causing us..”</p><p>“Causing us to be dead,” Rodney interjected. “Yes. Which as you can imagine could be quite problematic.”</p><p>“Does Dr Weir know yet?” Teyla asked and I shrugged, looking at Rodney. He shook his head. </p><p>“I just isolated the surge,” McKay said. “I only told Evelyn and John because I ran into them on my way to breakfast.”</p><p>“Couldn’t have shot Weir and email?” I raised an eyebrow. “Alright, what about Zelenka? We’re probably going to need all hands on deck with this one, even if he should probably be huddled up in bed right about now, after last night.”</p><p>“As should you,” Sheppard pointed out. “I would have expected you to have gone to your room and stayed there till at least noon.”</p><p>“I’m not much of a sleeper, and anyway, something woke me up right before the end of the skeleton shift,” I tapped my chin, pretending to not know the cause. He was unrattled, not that I expected him to be so easily affected by my little dig. “Nonetheless, we’re going to need to get Weir in on this so we can use the control room to monitor the city for more anomalies like this. We’re also going to need someone to take a closer look at the site of the first one.”</p><p>“And we’re going to need teams to sweep the area, get a jump on looking for this thing,” John agreed. “And we can’t cause mass panic before we know anything about it. So we’re going to have to use small teams and low armament.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Ronon said, rolling his shoulders. “We’re all pretty capable without weapons,” he said and then turned to look at Rodney who was unassumingly eating his toast. “most of us anyway.”</p><p>“So after breakfast we’ll split up. Rodney I’ll need you to get Zelenka and Weir up to date on the situation and then go to the site, asses,” John instructed. “The remainder of us will split off into two teams and sweep the surrounding area, above and below the site.”</p><p>“Uh, shouldn’t we get Lorne’s team in on this as well?” I asked. You know, the one I’m technically still a part of? He shook his head. </p><p>“No, we’ll hold off on involving them until after we’re sure it’s not close by. If we have to expand the search to the rest of the city then we’ll get Lorne to split his team up into two teams of two and we’ll divide the city up between us,” John said. Major Lorne’s team had five members including myself, so I guess Sheppard had already moved me back over to Alpha. </p><p>“Perfect I’ll go with Teyla,” Ronon said and I internally screamed. I was going to volunteer to go with either of them, didn’t matter which, to avoid John. I looked up to see John smiling smugly at me before innocently turning to Teyla and Ronon. </p><p>“Perfect, then that leaves myself and O’Neill,” he said and I kicked him under the table. He flinched slightly, but covered up most of his reaction to the pain and made no noise. Rodney however, must have felt my leg bush past him and caught it anyway.</p><p>“What was that for?” McKay asked. </p><p>“Whoops, sorry, I must have slipped,” I said unapologetically. </p><p>“That’s alright,” John smiled. “I’m sure I can come up with some way for you to make it up to me.” I fought off the urge to kick him again. </p><p>“You sure you’re not going to need me at the site with you, Rodney?” I said, turning to him with an almost threatening smile, which he seemed completely oblivious to. </p><p>“Ugh I’d love to have my second set of hands not be Zelenka,” he grumbled. While the guy had odd tendencies and smelled kinda funny, I still didn’t really know why everyone seemed to hate him so much. </p><p>“And I’d love to grant that wish, but I’m afraid in a security sweep, Zelenka is going to be as much use to me as he is you,” John said. “Sorry McKay, I’m going to need O’Neill.”</p><p>“All the more reason to get Lorne’s team on this early, like I said.” I said. “That way Rodney can have the both of us.”</p><p>“I’d be okay with this,” McKay agreed easily and Sheppard made a face at him. </p><p>“And I said, we don’t want too many people on this too early,” John replied firmly. “We’re trying to avoid mass panic here and having multiple teams larger than two milling around is going to put people on edge. No. O’Neill you’re with me and Teyla goes with Ronon, is that going to be a problem?” </p><p>He looked directly at me, as did the others. I knew he was right, he might have wanted the opportunity to talk to me which was why he joined us for breakfast but he always put the mission first. This was the best course of action, I was the one trying to avoid him instead of focusing on the task at hand. I shook my head implying, no, this was not a problem. </p><p>“No sir,” I replied, clearing my throat. </p><p>“I’m uh, I’m gonna get started on briefing Weir and setting up the control room,” McKay said awkwardly, pushing back his chair and abandoning his tray, not that much was left behind. I glanced at Teyla and Ronon who were both looking at me with a look of reserved confusion. Teyla looked like she had something on the tip of her tongue, a burning question ready to ask, but she wisely kept it to herself. </p><p>“I’ve got to head to the armory to get my sidearm,” I announced and pushed my chair back. I tucked it back under the table and started off towards the door. I heard another chair do the same.</p><p>“I’ll go with her, we’ll meet in the corridor by McKay’s lab,” John said and I heard a set of footsteps follow me, catching up fairly easily. </p><p>First time I set eyes on him since I’d left the table was when I had to turn in the transporter to walk through the door and I avoided looking him in the face. I brushed past him into the armoury and walked straight up to where the M9s were kept, keying in my access code and fixing it to my side holster. Moving over to the table in the centre of the room I grabbed extra clips and loaded them into the pockets of my cargo pants. John walked up behind me and I ignored him. He cleared his throat and I pulled my radio from my pocket, checking the battery. </p><p>“Evelyn,” he said hoarsely. I slid the back off the radio, pulling out the old battery and put it in the charging bank. “Evelyn.”</p><p>Quickly, quietly and methodically I loaded in the new battery. He grabbed my hand before I could close the compartment and I turned my head over my shoulder to look at him. There was a lot going on in his practically searing stare. I could see he had a lot he wanted to say, to ask. He swallowed thickly. </p><p>“Is it too soon?” he asked eventually. “To start working alongside me again? I need you to tell me now, this could be serious and if you can’t, for whatever reason..it’s fine I just need you to be fine. I need you on game.” I shifted in his hold but instead of pulling away I turned to face him, still letting his arms encase me in his presence. I looked up at him through my lashes. </p><p>“I can separate what I’m feeling right now from this mission,” I told him honestly. “I just need you to not try and talk to me about it right now.”</p><p>“Alright,” he agreed easily. “We’ll try and nip this thing in the bud and then you can go back to your quarters and try get some real sleep. We can talk about this after.” I nodded. “But we will talk about it. And properly, not with you running away half way in when you don’t like what you’re hearing.”</p><p>My heart hammered in my chest, pulse throbbing in my ears, making it impossible to hear anything. Luckily John and I had been standing in silence since he’d made me promise we were going to talk about this, together. My chest heaved, I wanted to stand on my tiptoes, grab his collar and yank him down to kiss me. I still had no idea what I wanted, but the tension that was building between us was impossible to ignore. Just as it had been that day we started all this mess. </p><p>“John,” I said. He cleared his throat.</p><p>“We should probably get going,” he said and stepped back away from me. </p><p>He moved over to wait for me by the door while I finished up greeting ready to sweep the building. I held in a sigh, it was probably for the best he’d put a stop to that where he had. Last thing I needed was some random marine coming in to find me and John locked in a heated gaze. Or worse.</p><p>Rodney POV</p><p>I soured as I leaned up against the door jam to the lab. Teyla and Ronon were standing by the opposing wall, with the latter occasionally pacing. Zelenka was inside gathering equipment and we were just waiting on Sheppard and O’Neill showing up to get started. What the hell was taking them so long?</p><p>“What do you think that was, earlier?” Teyla finally asked, breaking the silence. Ronon looked like he was amused.</p><p>“Something definitely happened last night when Sheppard went out to rescue her,” Ronon said, wiping the sides of his mouth with one hand. “I bet he kissed her.”</p><p>“Do you think that is it?” Teyla asked. “There was definitely tension between them. Surely if he kissed her, would they not be happy?”</p><p>“Okay if she wanted him to,” Ronon replied.</p><p>“The two of them have been inseparable since she joined the mission, clearly there was something there. Even Dr Weir commented on it,” Teyla argued. “Why would him kissing her make her unhappy?”</p><p>“I dunno,” Ronon shrugged. “She did go join Lorne’s team for a while though. I was surprised to see her back to be honest. She hasn’t been around since the retrovirus.”</p><p>“I did notice she hadn’t been around the lab as often,” I found myself commenting. “Usually if she is around when we’re not on missions she’s in when he’s busy. To be honest I never thought she was avoiding him until you pointed it out.”</p><p>“That’s hardly surprising,” Ronon said and I shot him a glare. I had noticed a little and I’d been happy the two weren’t attached at the hip anymore. But I didn’t think she was avoiding him, not until she jumped off the roof yesterday. </p><p>“What are we talking about?” Zelenka said, poking his head through the door. </p><p>“Sheppard and O’Neill,” Ronon answered. </p><p>“There has been a certain <em> tension </em> around them lately,” Teyla continued and the Czech nodded understandingly. </p><p>“Ah yes, I noticed that too,” he said. “She jumped off the roof yesterday before the storm to avoid him. Didn’t come up for new parts until he had gone back inside. It did strike me as odd. Do you think something happened?” They both shrugged. “She did seem in better spirits with him when they came back up off the roof last night though.”</p><p>“I imagine not dying in a freak storm would make anyone ecstatic,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Doesn’t mean anything’s resolved.”</p><p>“What’s resolved?” I heard from beside me and saw Evelyn standing there. I jumped, having not noticed the two approaching. </p><p>“Never mind,” I muttered and she looked amused. John also looked amused but chose not to comment. </p><p>“Alright, ready to head to the site of the surge?” he asked and there was muttered agreement. I left Zelenka and Ronon to carry the bulk of equipment, barely looking up from my tablet for most of the walk. Stupid Colonel Sheppard and getting all the girls. </p><p>John POV</p><p>After Rodney explained in excruciating detail what the problem was and why it looked like it was done intentionally I divided the search area up between us. McKay and Zelenka would stay put and try and discover more about the surge point and the system it was a part of while staying in radio contact with Chuck in the control room, Teyla and Ronon would take the northern side of the corridor and the floor above us. That left the southern side of the corridor and the floor below the surge to us. </p><p>I had a bad feeling about this, it couldn’t be something simple wrong with Atlantis, like turning off the sprinklers to the football field, it was going to be something awful and life threatening like oxygen flow in the vents or the controls to keep us buoyant. </p><p>I glanced at Evelyn, she might have said she could separate how she was feeling from this mission but I wasn’t sure I could. Maybe I should have had Lorne in on this, commanded everyone from the control room. </p><p>“You okay?” Evelyn asked. Oh, so <em> she </em> could talk about things right now, but I couldn’t?</p><p>“Fine,” I told her and she raised an eyebrow at me, clearly not believing me. “I don’t think this is going to be an easy one.”</p><p>“No,” she shook her head. “It never is. But you said yourself, that doesn’t bother you.”</p><p>“You wanna do this now?” I asked. </p><p>“Well I don’t,” she answered. “But whatever this thing is, might kill us so I’ve decided I’d rather get this sorted before we die.”</p><p>“Before we die is good,” I nodded, closing the door to an unused office. </p><p>We’d managed to clear the south side of the corridor and were headed down a level, taking the stairs. I still had no idea what we were looking for and found myself overly suspicious of inanimate objects as a result. </p><p>“I know you don’t mind everyone knowing that we’re seeing each other,” she said. “And I know times are different now. And I am still worried about what people are gonna think, and say about me and my job. But mostly? I’m worried we’re not going to be allowed to see each other.”</p><p>“Huh?” I asked, turning back to face her, stopping dead on the landing for the stairs. </p><p>Shadows cast over her face, covering most of her expression as she stood a little back from me. While I stood, boots on the laminate floor for the level we were entering, she had paused several stairs up from me, finally at eye level. This was new. She’d never expressed these fears with me. Nothing even close.</p><p>“When my parents divorced, my mom, she wasn’t interested in dating for a while. My dad threw himself into his work, which I now know was the Stargate stuff… he did move on. He found someone he loved and who got him, his work..because she was doing it too. They worked together and he was her mission leader. And they couldn’t do anything about it. They weren’t allowed to act on their feelings. So there was just years and years of romantic interest, <em> real </em> love, and they could do nothing but send each other longing glances and cover things up with sarcasm. And that scares me John,” she explained. Her eyes were burning into mine, tears pricking at the sides. That must have been rough for them. And for her to have watched, unable to do anything? Well it was no wonder she was scared.</p><p>“Evelyn I..” I started and she shook her head at me.</p><p>“I’m not saying I’m in love with you,” she assured me. “But what if we do, end up loving each other? And what if then we can never be together? Because longing stares and sarcasm might have been enough for them, maybe it wasn’t but they put up with it anyway.. But it’s definitely not enough for me. I want to touch you, to be able to kiss you, to <em> fuck </em>you. I want you and all of you. I don’t love the idea of sneaking around but it’s easier to have all the things I want if we are sneaking around before they officially tell us we can’t. Ask for forgiveness, not permission.”</p><p>“That’s crazy,” I told her, stepping forward to hold her shoulders. “It’s not like that anymore, and we’re under Weir. She’s a civilian, she can see things differently, clearly. She’s not stuck under the rigidity of old world rules.”</p><p>“Can’t we just have this, us, just us, for a little bit longer?” she asked, a tear dropping from her eye. I brought a hand up to cup her face, wiping away the tear with my thumb. I could see why she'd been so reluctant to do this. She not only had to think about what life would be like if we further developed our relationship and then were told we couldn’t be together but what would happen if she lost her position here. She’d lose her whole life, she’d be stuck in some vet’s centre sans an arm and unable to ever fly non commercial ever again.</p><p>“It’s not a deal breaker, keeping this between us, for a little while at least,” I told her. “But I don’t want to hide something this important. Clearly this is going to be more than a fling, or else it would have tapered off by now. But I appreciate how you feel. And I’m proud of you for sharing this with me. I just..”</p><p>She threw her head forward, lips crashing against mine. Her kiss burned, my skin was on fire everywhere she touched. She gripped the front of my shirt with her hand and I pulled her tightly to my chest. One hand cradled her head and the other held her back firmly, silently vowing to never let her go. With a single, fluid jump she had both legs wrapped around my waist and I was stepping back hurriedly. I turned and pinned her to the wall beside a closed door. </p><p>I fiddled with the door, managing eventually to get it open and we stumbled inside. I pulled back for a second, fast walking back to the door and locking it behind us. I stared back hungrily at her, watching her chest heave with heavy breaths. We were in some kind of office it looked like, with multiple desks throughout the room. She nodded once and me and I stalked forward, grabbing her around the waist again hoisting her up again. Shoving the contents of a desk off the surface and onto the floor,  I dropped her down onto the smooth, white material. I fumbled with her belt and zipper, finally tearing them open and tugging them down her legs. She kissed me roughly, reaching her hand up to grip my hair. The tight pull at the base of my scalp made me groan into her.</p><p><em> “Colonel Sheppard, </em>” Teyla’s voice came through the radio, a sobering interruption forcing us to remember we were on a mission right now. A mission that concerned the security and safety of the entire city. I sighed and I heard Evelyn do the same. I pulled back and she readjusted her trousers. </p><p><em> “I think we have found something. </em>”</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Uninvited Guest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
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  <span>“Shit,” I said without thinking as we stared down at the gray fabric scrap on the floor of the room. </span>
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  <span>According to Ronon, it looked like a close match to the uniforms the Genii usually wore and there was some blood and charred skin on one side. Which meant that the surge was probably intentionally caused by a forreign invader, and that if they’d hidden in this room, they were probably still somewhere here in the city. There’d been no gate activity since before the storm, and wouldn’t be for a while, not now that we’d detected the anomaly. It also meant that if it was the Genii, that there was at least some understanding of what they were doing. So this surge was not random and it was definitely no accident.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yep, you can say that again,” John said with a sigh. “Get McKay, see if there’s any way to identify individual lifesigns on the life sign detector and find out where this Genii soldier is. If not, we need to do a lockdown operating with a skeleton crew in the major stations and start doing a city wide, military sweep. We need to lockdown the gate and make sure there is no other way out of this city.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am on it,” Teyla said, putting her hand to her earpiece and started relaying orders. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And Ronon,” John said. “No lethal force, we need to know what exactly they were up to, and what their plan is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got it,” Ronon said, looking almost disappointed but following his lead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Has this happened before?” I asked. We were operating in secret, on a floating, impenetrable base with a max of two ways into the city. Gate travel and boat from the mainland. And without the gate there was no way to get to the mainland. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Once,” John confirmed. “And we’ve tightened security since. And that was before we told everyone we blew the city. I don’t know how they slipped by our defences, but I plan on asking once we get ahold of them,” he said all of this through gritted teeth. Clearly the last time this happened was something that still pissed him off. I almost regretted asking. “Watch your back with these guys, O’Neill, they’re...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Complete bastards from my experience,” Rodney interrupted, having just arrived, and I snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the rest of the base’s security sweeping the other buildings we left Teyla and Ronon to guard McKay while he did his work at the site of the power surge. When reinforcements arrived, they would finish sweeping the upper floors. Meanwhile John and I headed back down to the floor we were on when we were trying to get into each other’s pants instead of working. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So those complete bastards…” I said after a few rooms of sweeping in complete silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s just say not everyone out here are our friends,” John replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” I paused. He turned back to me. “We’ve been making friends?” the corners of his mouth turned up in a slight smile and he shook his head, scoffing and turning back to the search. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get back to it, O’Neill,” he said and I smiled to myself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We fell into a comfortable silence as we walked through the remainder of the rooms on this floor and climbed down the next flight of stairs to start all over again. We went like this for the better part of an hour and no joy. I was upset. On one hand so far there was no intruder but on the other, we knew there should be. And not being able to find them was concerning. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do they want?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The silence lost it’s comfort and became deafening. I’d had no experience with the Genii and only read a couple of mission reports, which I’d learned since coming out here, are usually very different from what actually happened. I scanned the lab we were walking through anxiously, waiting for someone to pop up out from somewhere like a communist jack in the box. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” John sighed. “Their motivation borders between stopping the Wraith and becoming the most powerful force in the Pegasus. Whatever they’re here for, they must think it’ll benefit one of those two things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What were they here for last time?” I replied, turning to face him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Medical supplies, guns and a lot of C4,” John replied. “Look, it doesn’t matter why they’re here, we just need to stop them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I nodded, sighing myself. It would seem that once this was over, I needed to request access to rather a lot of mission reports. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned away and started making my way through my section of the room. I wasn’t optimistic we’d find anything but we still had to finish what we’d come here for. This room didn’t have much to offer, it was just some disused lab. One that didn’t even have any specific purpose, or at least not one I could spot off the bat. I started scanning the floor, see if I could see the shadows of anyone about to pop out like we were in a horror movie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Narrowing my eyes, I realised something </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrong here. Something that would ordinarily have gone overlooked. Dark rubber scuff marks trailed along the floor, leading behind a bench. They were the kind of marks you’d expect to see from someone’s shoes on the floor or those little stoppers on the legs of chairs to stop you from scratching up the floor. But, as far as I was aware, the Ancients didn’t wear shoes with black rubber soles nore did they use rubber stoppers on their chairs or tables. Or at least, I didn’t think they did. We’d have come across something like this before now, if that were the case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I followed the black marks around behind the bench and around again towards a bookshelf where I stopped dead in my tracks. A pair of small black shoes poked out from beside the shelf. Oh no. I swallowed thickly. Spying grey trouser legs to accompany the little black shoes, I grew apprehensive that by following those marks I’d solved our little Genii problem. In fact, I think I’d just solidified the belief that this was going to get worse, just as they always did in the Pegasus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I called out and gestured without looking up for him to come over. I could feel my stomach turning. If this was a Genii solder, who killed them and why? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Following the legs around the bench completely, I saw the mummified body of someone in an old fashioned, grey military uniform. Classic example of a Wraith feeding victim. I pressed my lips together in a thin line. This was not good. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I found our Genii, but we’ve got a bigger problem,” I said, squatting down to see if the Genii wore dog tags or similar. Nothing. Since John had apparently decided on not coming around to see for himself, I climbed to my feet, ready to start describing the site before me. I supposed he might be securing the room before coming over, which was practical, protocol even, but there had been no communication of this. In fact, I hadn’t heard him speak in a while. And we still hadn’t seen the Wraith, only it’s lunch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like one of our other friends found her first, my guess is sometime between now and this morning she became a tasty snack for…” I had turned fully around to where I’d last seen John and was greeted with the sight of him wrestling out of a choke hold. “Shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you armed?” the Wraith demanded and I reached for my sidearm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Glancing at John, I saw him desperately trying to tell me something with his eyes, his mouth still covered. I really hoped what he was telling me was he was a-okay for me to shoot. Because I was going to. I aimed at the Wraith’s head, knowing that was the most guaranteed way to kill him, knowing if I shot him anywhere else he could potentially heal himself and probably eat John. My hand was steady and I exhaled and moved to pull the trigger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah ah, I warn you, if you shoot I will kill your colleague,” the Wraith told me and I smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s my CO,” I replied. “And you’ll only kill him if I miss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That confident with your aim, are you?” he asked and I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The way I see it, if you die, the base is secure. If he dies, I get a promotion,” I shrugged and pulled the trigger. It clicked but there was no firing. I frowned and pulled the trigger again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Click. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Nothing. Shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I guess we do things your way,” I said, placing the gun down on the bench beside me. It was jammed and I doubted the Wraith was going to let me clear out the casing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are the other conduites leading to the shield’s power supply?” it demanded. “If you tell me, I’ll let your superior go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No you won’t,” I scoffed. “And even if I believed you, I don’t know what you’re talking about. What does this have to do with the part of the floor you dug up and ripped out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You dare play dumb with me?” he growled and Sheppard struggled in his hold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stared blankly at him. I really didn’t know what he was talking about. I hadn’t been on Atlantis long enough to learn that about the city, and if he was talking about something that had happened out here, I really hadn’t read that many mission reports. I only read the ones concerning the Wraith and even then only some. I just wanted to know what I was up against.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not playing dumb?” he cocked his head in confusion as Sheppard struggled harder. I shook my head. “Who would know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh… well I know some of the scientists a little,” I said vaguely, tapping my chin as I pretended to think. “I bet if you took your hand off my boss’s mouth he’d be able to tell you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I paused, waiting to see what this Wraith would do. It was enver simple, they never just tried to kill us. Why could they never just try and kill us? There were always negotiations, always some plan or plot. I’m starting to prefer my time in the river with that mutant goldfish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Wraith shifted it’s hold on John, he was still being held by the throat but the hand that had been covering his mouth, stopping him from warning me was gone. John cleared his throat, struggling still against the arm across his windpipe. I discreetly pressed the button to activate my radio, hoping the others would be able to hear John from how far he was from me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“McKay,” John rasped. “McKay knows all about the power conduits in the floor and how to prevent Atlantis from being able to use it’s shields.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good luck getting him to talk though,” I said. Trying not to laugh about what I was about to say. “McKay is incredibly brave, he’ll never give in to some </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wraith</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Colonel Sheppard, Captain O’Neill, am I reading you correctly? You are with a Wraith?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard Teyla say through the radio and I tried not to let my relief show through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right,” John said, looking vaguely amused he was having to go along with this McKay’s a “stubborn hero” ruse. “You can hold us in the North Tower’s communication lab for as long as you want, but McKay will never bow to the demands of a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wraith</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Message received, Colonel,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Teyla said.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re on our way,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Ronon added after her. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just an FYI, I seriously object to you using the radio to imply I’m some sort of coward who would easily give in to a Wraith,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Rodney said and I tried not to snort as I watched the Wraith hold John. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll have you know lots of people think I’m very brave.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that so?” the Wraith said, looking between myself and John. I shrunk back, having forgotten momentarily the hostile situation we were in. We were trapped in a room with a deadly predator, John was pinned and my gun was jammed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I guess I’ll just have to kill you and find this McKay for myself,” he said and John chose that moment to bring an elbow down hard into the Wraith’s abdomen and stomp down at an angle on his shin. The Wraith roared and briefly relinquished his hold, letting John grapple free and get away from the Wraith. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed in relief as John reached for his sidearm and I grabbed mine off the bench, moving to clear the blockage from the chamber. I heard several shots go off and glanced up to see the Wraith dodging and running straight for me. I swore, leaping up onto the bench I was standing beside and running across it. I dove into a roll and ended up near Sheppard, still trying to get the casing out of the way so I’d have an effective side arm again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John kept providing me cover fire and I slammed the gun on the side of one of the benches I’d ducked behind, finally clearing the chamber. I shot up off the ground and aimed, pulling the trigger just as it reached me, lead sinking straight into its chest. The Wraith slapped the gun straight out of my hand and I groaned, just as I’d managed to get it working again. Typical. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It grabbed me and I slammed my fist forward into it’s ugly, green face, hearing a crunch as I did so. It howled and I fought its grabby hands, spinning and turning as we fought. Sheppard tried to get a few shots off but couldn't do much because I was constantly in the way. He ran over and grabbed the Wraith’s arms, pulling them off me and allowing me to get a few gur punches in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Wraith growled at John, grabbing him by the vest and launching him across the room with impressive force. I cried out as I saw him make contact with the wall and drop limply to the floor. I saw him move a little, trying to get up but he instantly dropped down again and stayed frighteningly still. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard!” I cried out. I felt a sharp sting across my face and I registered I’d been hit only after the force had knocked me into a bench. The countertop hit my hip hard, causing a dull ache to spread through me. I groaned out, this time from the pain and tried to stabilize myself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should really show more concern for yourself, little one,” the Wraith taunted. “If you don’t fight any better you won’t be getting that promotion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off,” I spat, throwing up my prosthetic as I block while I reached for the knife on my belt. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Wraith pushed forwards against my prosthetic and swept it’s leg under mine, taking me off my feet and sending me hard towards the ground. I tried to slash at him with my knife but he managed to catch my arm mid swing and keep it from harming him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it happen instantly?” he asked. “Should I eat your superior officer first so you can be awarded your new rank? I’m not a cruel person, perhaps I should grant you your dying wish.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I find it hard to believe you’re a person,” I growled back as I struggled against it’s hold on the floor. I kicked like my life depended on it but he seemed more amused than bothered by this. I crossed my legs underneath him, using the X created by my shins to push him up off of me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re nothing more than a slimy, green biped in need of a really good stylist,” I yelled, trying to free my right arm from his grasp so I could stab him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You humans lack grace,” he told me, smacking the knife out of my hand with ease. Where the hell was Ronon? I missed that giant battle tank. “Even in your dying moments you prove to be nothing but ferrell. Wild animals, not fit for more than fodder for a superior army.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How wrong you are,” I snarled, trying to free either hand from his grip. “People are friends, not food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I disagree,” he said, displaying a significant amount of amusement despite also managing to be absolutely terrifying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if in slow motion, I watched in horror, unable to do anything as his feeding hand unzipped my vest and made contact with the bare skin underneath. I screamed out in agony and with a reserve of strength I didn’t know I had, I pushed forward off the ground and bit down hard on his arm. He howled in distress and retracted his feeding hand. Pulling his arm back, he slapped me across the face with what was almost break neck force, a sharp punishment for causing him even a small amount of suffering. I cried out again, shaking underneath him with the searing pain of his hits. I used the momentary distraction of his own agony, despite fighting my own, to reach out for the knife. My fingers crawled across the floor and wrapped around the handle of the knife and just as he brought his hand to my burning cheek, to resume feeding. I forced my hand up, sharp tip of the knife sliding through the jelly of his eye. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I lay under him for a moment, my chest heaving, stuttering breaths making it out of my mouth as I waited for confirmation he was really dead. He was motionless and I was immobilized with the shock. I let out a startled cry, it was over and this time it had been so much worse than when we’d fought Ellia. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel hot tears sliding down my cheeks. I was overwhelmed, and I honestly had no idea what had just happened. We’d started the day with a technical fault somewhere in the building, then it was Genii sabotage and then we had a Wraith in the building. A Wraith we had to convince Rodney was a daring, Rick O’Connell type because both myself and John, had somehow both managed to fail at shooting him, despite us being highly trained air force personnel. How had that Wraith had so much more strength than the two of us? Myself I could understand, I was short, I was female, young, and I was missing an arm but John? How had that Wraith had so much strength he was able to throw John across the room and knock him unconscious? At least I hoped he was just unconscious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John?” I croaked after a few more moments. Still shuddering with the pain of the inscrutably hard hits, and the feeding wound burning on my chest. Tears still slid down my cheek, salt stinging my already damaged skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> “John?” I tried again, a little more desperately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m coming,” he said, sounding a little worse for wear but decidedly alive. I sighed in relief, no actually dead coworker. I hadn’t meant it when I’d told the Wraith that I’d still win if John died, I knew John knew that too, but I didn’t want it to be the last thing he heard me say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> I heard movement above me before I saw his head above the Wraith. My chest heaved and I let out an almost pathetic sounding cry. I was so out of my depth here in the pegasus. I don’t know why I came here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here, I got you,” he said soothingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John pulled the Wraith’s still motionless body up and off me. The knife I was still tightly gripping slid out of it’s eye and a thick, green-y/black ooze flooded out from the wound. My eyes snapped shut before impact and I was covered in the sticky, warm substance. I screwed up my face as I felt John drop the body down on the ground a few feet away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he said and I heard his gun go off. He crouched at my side and I felt some fabric wipe across my face and eyes and I opened them back up to see him mopping up some of the alien blood with a rag he’d found. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” I asked and he nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked down to see I was still holding my knife tightly in my grasp. He brought one of his much larger hands on top of my own and gently pried my fingers off one by one. He put the knife down on the ground beside us as he squatted in front of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you, are you okay?” he asked and I nodded slowly. I could still feel the agonizing burn of my chest where the Wraith’ had attempted, or succeeded in feeding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not real fond of these Wraith guys,” I told him and he chuckled lightly, wiping away some of the wet hair that was plastered to my face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you really okay?” he said, refusing to take his eyes off me, even at the sound of nearby footsteps. Honestly? I didn’t know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think that was the only one?” I asked, glancing over to the definitely dead Wraith lying on the ground with several bullet wounds to the head and a hole gouged where an eye used to be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Possibly,” he shrugged. “We’re going to have to finish the citywide sweep to know for sure. And we’re also going to have to try and figure out what it wanted. Come on, let’s get you up.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slid an arm under mine to hold my back and gripped my hand tightly with the other, pulling me to my feet. He let go of me too soon, but I understood, the footsteps were almost behind me and I turned around to see Teyla and Ronon staring in shock at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey guys,” I greeted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teyla, Ronon, good timing,” John said, still deep in business mode. “I need you two to secure the room. Did you finish your section?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we were on our way back to check on Dr McKay and Zelenka when you radioed,” Teyla confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seems like you had it handled,” Ronon commented, looking between me and the Wraith. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” John said, ignoring Ronon. “I’m gonna need you to finish sweeping the rest of the tower. O’Neill and I were almost finished but as you can see, things got a little complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it,” Ronon agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But wait for reinforcements to arrive before you do,” Sheppard ordered, looking directly at Ronon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teyla and I can...” he started to argue but one look from John and he sighed. “Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m going to take O’Neill to get checked out by Beckett,” John explained. “Anything happens, stay on your radio. We don’t know how many of them there were.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Understood,” Teyla agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let John put an arm around my waist, who was seemingly unbothered that I was absolutely covered in Wraith blood. But I suppose he also didn’t care I was covered in fish monster blood when he gave me CPR all those months ago. I was barely paying attention when we walked back up the flights of stairs, into the transporter or even as we walked through the familiar corridor to the medbay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ach, Christ, you were only in here last night!” Beckett yelled, knocking me out of my empty zoning and back into the moment. “How, how is it always you two?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, I’m just here to get her checked out,” John defended and I smiled to myself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But he should also get checked, he did get knocked unconscious,” I reported and John glared down at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gee, thanks Evelyn, next time I’ll let the Wraith eat you,” John grumbled in false annoyance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I remember correctly I saved myself,” I argued. “And you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And me?!” He scoffed and I giggled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>While John and I had been teasing each other Beckett had been covering a bed in disposable liners so I could sit down without ruining the linen. He simply rolled his eyes at our interaction and waited for us to finish before he got down to business. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, so what happened, and why are you covered in this goo?” Beckett asked as he patted the bed for me to sit on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is Wraith blood,” I corrected. “Not goo. I wish it was goo, somehow unidentified goo would be way better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” Sheppard argued, leaning against the bed I was perched on. “At least with Wraith blood we know the guy it came out of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anyway,” Beckett shook his head, pulling on some rubber gloves and a protective white coat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, well we found a Wraith and it tried to kill us so..” I said with a shrug. “I have bruises, he has bruises,” I pointed to John who looked surprisingly no worse for wear. “I bit the Wraith because he used his feeding hand on me and then I stabbed him in the eye and got covered in blood.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he fed on you?” Beckett confirmed and I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I presume so,” I said, pulling my vest completely off and dumping it on the bed beside me. I unbuttoned my uniformed button down and tugged my tank top down a little to expose my chest wound. “Why else would my chest still be burning…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t look any older,” John commented and I tried to stop myself from smirking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can run some tests to see how the feeding affected you, but you’re incredibly lucky to have survived this unscathed,” Beckett explained. “Wait, did you say you bit it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” I nodded. “It was holding both my arms and I couldn’t use my legs to get him off me so when he connected his feeding hand to me I leaned down and bit his hand. And he wasn’t all that thrilled. I think he might also have been trying to feed on my face as well after he hit me for biting him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was incredibly risky, Evelyn,” John scolded. I recoiled away from Beckett who was trying to clean a wound. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Beckett said, thinking I was reacting to the iodine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think I had any other choice?” I demanded. “John he was going to feed on me either way, I wasn’t strong enough to get him off me. I could have either held him off me until I ran out of strength or I could have let him think he won, bitten him as a distraction and then used him loosening his grip to pick up my knife again. You think I wanted to be a snack?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have let him..” John started and I slammed my hand down on the bed, making Beckett pull back a little from where he was trying to dress the wound on my chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You were </span>
  <em>
    <span>unconscious</span>
  </em>
  <span>!” I said indignantly. “He was going to go for you too. I couldn’t let that happen. I had no idea you were going to wake back up when you did, I had no idea you were going to wake back up again at all…” I shook my head, putting it in my hand, getting in the way of Beckett once again. “I thought you were dead. You weren’t moving. I couldn’t get over to check. I couldn’t stop it from happening, all I had was making sure he didn’t hurt anyone else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except you,” John pointed out and I lifted my head up again and glared at him. “You know what? We can talk about this later, I should let Beckett work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, and you can use this newly free time to go and get your head scanned,” Beckett said without looking up. “Don’t think in the excitement I forgot you were unconscious for a few minutes, go on, you’re not leaving this infirmary until </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>deem you medically fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed and then sat in silence as Beckett cleaned me up and checked each cut and bruise. He helped me wrap and cover each one so I could shower, and offered me use of the medbay’s bathrooms so I could ditch this uniform here. I had been wearing it for two days now, it would be nice to be in clean clothes. Mind you, if you count my time in the storm as a wash cycle I’d only been wearing this uniform for a few hours. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I presume you remember where everything is,” he said disapprovingly, reiterating how much he disliked how often John and I found ourselves in here. He put some clean, white scrubs on a chair in the bathroom and left me to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let the warm water envelop me as I scrubbed myself clean both physically and emotionally. Tensions were already high with John before I’d survived a random Wraith attack in a lab, he wasn’t yelling at me because of how I dealt with fighting it off, not really, I reasoned. I sighed into the steam, knowing I’d have even more to talk out with John. I loved the fun, teasing and trusting relationship I had with John, all of this talking, emotional and high tension shit was not what I signed up for. But even though it was harder? Just like living in the Pegasus galaxy, it didn’t make me want to walk away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned the water off and perched on the chair, gently drying myself when there was a gentle knock on the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” I called out, pulling on some clean underwear and scrub pants. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s me,” I heard John reply. “You’ve been in there a while, are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on a sec,” I said, standing up and towelling my hair as I walked towards the door. I flicked the lock on the door and walked back towards the chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took that as a cue to step inside and recoiled as he saw I was still shirtless. Looking unsure as to what side of the door he should be on when he closed it, quickly, he did a double take and kept glancing between the outside and me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re letting the steam out,” I commented. He pushed the door closed and locked it, leaving himself inside with me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, for someone who wanted to keep this need to know,” he whispered harshly. “You’re not doing a great job of being </span>
  <em>
    <span>covert!</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you relax, I’m about to put a shirt on,” I shook my head at him. “And anyway, it’s only Beckett and I think I could sway him into being silent.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think he suspects something anyway,” John commented, deciding on ogling my shirtless chest instead of scolding me. “He has for a while, since before anything happened between us. He asked me a few of the times one of us has been in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Weir asked me the same,” I replied. “While you were being Iratus Bug John..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All the more reason we should come clean about this,” John said and I sighed, dropping the towel. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not saying you’re right,” I said. “Or that I want to, but I just want to figure out whatever this is before we start telling people about it. Alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” Sheppard rolled his eyes, and I pulled my scrub shirt over my head. Picking up all the discarded parts of my uniform, I dumped them in the hamper. Quickly cleaning up the space, making sure I had everything I needed, John waited patiently for me to finish. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose we have more important things to talk about anyway,” John said and I looked back at him over my shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” I said. I figured we’d wait till the others got back to talk about what happened and what we had to do next. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For starters, it’s going to take me a lot to ignore that the first thing I heard when I regained consciousness is you paraphrasing Finding Nemo,” he said and I let out a loud laugh. I turned around fully and walked towards him, picking up my boots. He unlocked the door and held it open for me, escorting me back to my bed in the medbay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Beckett said as soon as I stepped back into his sight. “Do you want the good news or the bad news first?” John and I exchanged a glance. “Good news is, after running those tests I’ve concluded that because you were fed on for such a short time, barely a minute, you’re at no risk from it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good,” John said I nodded in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So the bad news?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure if it was from the blood...” Beckett said and I hopped up on the bed intending to sit while he explained. John came over and hopped up beside me. “It has to have been, because there would be no other way for you to become exposed...unless Ellia somehow…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beckett, spit it out!” I snapped. Why had Ellia come into this?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, sorry,” Beckett replied, looking at me clearly. “I’ve just never seen anything like this before.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like what?” John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, O’Neill you have Wraith antibodies,” Beckett answered and I shot him a look, cocking my head to the side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have what?” I scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right, so, you know how when you get vaccinated you’re being injected with a small, manageable amount of a virus which your body fights and then develops antibodies for that virus,” he said and I nodded. I understood him so far. I glanced at John, he was nodding along as well. “Well somehow, you possess Wraith antibodies. If you’d been affected by the retrovirus, I’m almost certain with these antibodies it would have affected you astronomically differently. But I’m quite certain I have no idea of how you got them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t it take a while for me to have gotten them from the Wraith’s blood?” I asked. He looked back up at me, looking completely flabbergasted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” he said. “Which brings me to Ellia, are you sure she never tried to feed on you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well she did, she just grabbed my wooden arm,” I replied. “But that was the only time. She didn’t even scratch me, all my other cuts and scrapes were from the dirt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then there should be no other way for you to have come into contact with the retrovirus,” Beckett said. “Which is what has me so baffled.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John had gotten the retrovirus spread to him when Ellia tried to feed on him. He’d had to have direct contact with her in order for transference. I’d not had any with her, not really. In fact the only person besides her to get that close to me during that time was John but he…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I froze in shock. I’d cracked a joke about it but it wasn’t possible… was it? No, this couldn’t happen. He wasn’t even showing any symptoms when we… And he’d tried when he was going gray but I’d rejected him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Neill, are you feeling quite right?” Beckett asked, concern in his voice. I snapped my head up to meet his gaze. He reached forward to put a hand on my head, checking for a temperature. “You’ve gone all pale, love, are you in any pain?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh… Beckett,” I started, tilting away from his touch and trying to avoid eye contact. “When Ellia gave John the retrovirus she was able to because she’d had direct contact with John. She connected her feeding arm with his forearm, it’s like her saliva was touching him as she punctured his skin.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m with you,” he agreed, still looking concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What would you consider to be… direct contact?” I asked. “You know, similar ways of touching that might elicit the same issues?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well if we’re treating it like the transmission of any virus and we’ve ruled out it being airborne or surface transmissible,” he started. “And the only way is direct contact, like you've said. It could be any way that transfers fluids or gets into your bloodstream. So scratches, saliva, ect.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” I nodded, biting my lip and looking down at my lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t understand,” John said, looking between the two of us. “What are you getting at, O’Neill?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beckett,” I said. “Is there anywhere more private that we could discuss this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can send John away, if that’s your issue,” Beckett said. “You don’t need to leave your own hospital bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, he’s fine to stay,” I replied. “But I need to keep this between the three of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep what?” Beckett scoffed. I looked up at his baffled face and out of the corner of my eye I could see the realisation slowly dawning on John’s face. I leapt up and tried to tug all the curtains closed around us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not going to do much,” John commented. “Beckett can we go into your office please?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you two trying to keep so secret?” Beckett laughed. “You’re acting like you’ve got nuclear launch codes or something...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Or something,” I said, grabbing his sleeve at the elbow and towing him to his office. John followed behind us and closed the door firmly, making sure no one could come in unannounced. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think it’s possible?” he asked as I shoved Beckett into a chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t be in here if I didn’t,” I called angrily over my shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t get mad at me, this isn’t my fault,” John replied and I scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah John, it kinda is,” I argued and crossed my arms over my chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked you if you wanted..” he started and Beckett yelled at us. We both turned to look at the Doctor and stopped mid argument. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What exactly are you two arguing about? What does any of this have to do with O’Neill having Wraith antibodies?” Beckett demanded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beckett I need you to keep this need to know,” I begged, coming forward to squat in front of him. “I’m not even sure this is how it could have happened but I wouldn’t be talking about it if it wasn’t important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She wants to keep this underwraps for a while, just until we figure out what it is we’re doing,” John explained. “So it’d be best if you kept your mouth shut where possible.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you two talking about?” he said, shaking his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Before we knew anything was wrong with John..” I started. “He and I, we slept together…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” he paused in shock before he perked up immediately. “that’s fantastic! ...Cadman owes me money..” Beckett said trailing off. “So are you seeing each other then? I’m very happy for the two of you..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Beckett,” John scolded. “The antibodies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Beckett snapped out of it. “So your concern is, you might have developed the antibodies through your exposure to the retrovirus through sleeping with John?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like an STD,” I nodded. “You know, I made a joke about this a few months ago and now I’m pissed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You jinxed yourself,” John said, shaking his head and folding his arms over his chest. He turned his attention back to Beckett. “You and Cadman had a bet going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A few of us did actually,” Beckett replied. “The two of you have always been close but after your near death experience with the retrovirus there’s been some speculation over the extent of those feelings. Rodney’s adamant that the two of you are just friends. Teyla’s under the impression while there might be feelings between the two of you that you wouldn’t act on them…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Regardless of the bets,” I interrupted. “Did John give me a weird, new Wraith STD or not?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye, I’d say that’s likely it,” Beckett agreed. “It’s the only contact you’ve had with someone who’s had the retrovirus that’s transferred fluid. Did you use a condom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got the rod,” I replied and he nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is fascinating,” he said. “But it is a shame, if you had’ve it would be able to tell us more about the virus or possibly we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to know if it could penetrate the latex, don’t you?” I shook my head at the man. “I can’t believe it was even transmissible via… actually do you think it was saliva or..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well Ellia’s feeding hand is similar I guess to a mouth which would be saliva,” Beckett said. “But because the virus wasn’t localised to any particular body part, it could really be any body fluid. I’d love to run more tests…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” I cried out. “Provided I’m not in any immediate danger I’d rather we never spoke about this again. I’m not even sure what John and I are, I don’t want the whole expedition knowing we share a Wraith infection as well as a bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Beckett agreed. “Well when you go public I’d be grateful if you’d reconsider. I don’t think you’ll be in any danger but I’d like to run the same tests on you at certain intervals to make sure it doesn’t change any. But I can keep this between us, if that’s what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d do that?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doctor/Patient confidentiality,” he shrugged. “Plus, I kind of like knowing I’m right without needing the rest of the world to know it. Your secret is safe with me, love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh thank god,” I sighed and stood up. I walked over to the wall and leant up against it as I got my bearings. Yet another scary situation over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know how you’re planning on keeping this a secret, though,” Beckett commented. “You two aren’t exactly subtle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you,” John said and I rolled my eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you start.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Worne out and Weary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tiredly I pulled the last velcro strap across the top of my sneaker. After going back to my room to change out of the patient’s scrubs that Beckett gave me, I decided for myself and the rest of the team, I was off duty. As a result, I was dressing myself in civvies. I’d had to pace around my room for a while before I made move to dress, and now I was, I found myself pacing again, and struggling to regain my composure. With the Pegasus nightmare hour currently going on, I was apprehensive about going to the mess to get dinner but I needed to eat and I needed to be there for the conclusion of the powersurge mystery. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I perched on the end of my bed again, sighing and running my hand through my hair. I felt bad that Beckett had to find out John and I were seeing each other for medical reasons, rather than as our close friend. Which he was. And although John had wanted to be open about this relationship, having to out yourself because of a weird Wraith STD was very different to what I imagine he had in mind. The last 48 hours had been a complete shitshow and I found myself wondering which god I’d pissed off enough to trigger this complicated a display of karmic retribution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Listening to my stomach angrily grumble I contemplated how long it had been since breakfast and just how long it would be until the next. I shook my head, I needed to eat. Exiting my quarters with what had to be a record number of sighs, I made my way to the mess. The hallways were much more crowded than they had been when John had escorted me home, signaling the lockdown must be over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Entering the mess, I picked up a tray and slid it along the counter, paying little attention to what the culinary staff were loading it with. I glanced around the mess while I waited in line, trying to figure out where to sit. I spied McKay with a tray stacked high, surrounded by Alpha team and Dr Weir. I could not deal with this right now. Looking around desperately, I tried to find somewhere, anywhere, else to sit. I sighed in relief when I spotted Major Lorne sitting and eating with a few of the others I’d gone on away missions with over the past few weeks. Neither Lorne nor the rest of the team would ask me any complicated questions, and I wouldn’t have to put up a front either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn,” I heard from beside me and almost leapt through the ceiling. Biting back a startled scream, I turned to see Teyla, who looked just as surprised to see me as I did her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teyla,” I greeted. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Likewise,” she agreed with a nod. “I would have thought you would be resting after the past few days.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Believe me, I’d like to be,” I grumbled. “I fear there is no rest in this galaxy.” Teyla chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It feels like that sometimes,” she told me, taking one hand off her tray and wrapping it around behind me. “Come, the others are already sitting.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teyla used the hand she’d put behind me to guide me to the group table, leaving no possible chance and avoiding the team. She must have had enough of it the past month and decided to take action. I wanted to pivot on my heels and run at top speed towards Lorne’s table, but that might actually prompt a few Qs so I opted to follow Teyla’s lead. They might not actually say anything, we might just get through a group debrief and I can make a quick exit under the guise I was tired. And this would work because I am.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn,” Weir said, being the first to spot me. She also wore a look of surprise. “It’s good to see you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ditto,” I replied, trying to surreptitiously sit down beside McKay at the head of the table, while Teyla sat between Weir and Ronon. I didn’t look at John who was at my other side, instead favouring looking at the food on my tray. He seemed to be also avoiding looking in my direction, embarrassing medicals would do that to you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, Rodney,” I all but choked out. “What do you think this was all for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I imagine the Genii was probably just going to be a hearty, Wraith snack,” he said. “But somehow it managed to find out from her that we’d used the conduits in the floor to power the shields. I imagine neither the Genii or Wraith really understood how the technology here worked which was why they concocted this cockamamie plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he could disable our shields the Wraith could attack again and destroy us,” I concluded and Rodney agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t understand how our technology works,” John said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think the Wraith was working alone?” Weir asked and I picked at the food on my plate. I sure hoped so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he told anyone about his plan, I imagine they now know Atlantis is doing just fine,” John said. “We gotta find out how he got here. That could tell us a lot about whether or not he was working under someone else’s orders. We’ll need to closely monitor the long range sensors for incoming ships.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At least we know there was only one in Atlantis,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You look disappointed Ronon,” Weir commented, looking amused at his slightly sad face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard and O’Neill got all the fun,” he shrugged. “Congrats by the way, on taking it out. Things looked pretty bloody back there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not intentionally,” I said, looking down at my food. “Gun jammed, had to improvise.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Either way, letting the Wraith feed on you to get the upper hand was pretty badass,” McKay said, trying to cheer me up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ballsy move,” Ronon agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, you what?” Weir asked. I looked up awkwardly from my tray. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean..” I said, scooting back a little in my chair. “That’s an oversimplification of what happened. It was going to feed on me regardless, I just opted to stab it in the eye while it was doing that, rather than laying down and letting it happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nevertheless,” Teyla said smoothly. “We should all be very grateful there is one less Wraith out there thanks to Captain O’Neill.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Agreed,” Rodney grinned and lifted his glass. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right,” John said, clearing his throat. “Well done, O’Neill, I’m proud of you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The others gave congratulations and raised their cups. I don’t remember who had suggested it, but I refused the offer to stay and hang out since we’d all just had a small win. I didn’t really feel much like celebrating so I made my excuses after a while. Having eaten little and mostly picked at my plate, opting to go back to my quarters and lay down for a while seemed like the best option. All the adrenalin had worn off and I was exhausted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was almost in the transporter when I heard John call my name. I turned and he jumped in beside me, pressing the button closest to his quarters rather presumptuously. I raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna come back to mine?” he asked as the doors closed around us.“I noticed you’ve been a little off since this afternoon. You wanna talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doors to the transporter opened again and I sighed, shaking my head. Stepping out of the small box, I walked alongside John in the corridor, headed to his quarters despite having just indicated the opposite. I didn’t want to talk about it, not right now. But I did want to be with him, right now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve done so much talking over the past two days,” I said, looking up at him as we walked. “Let’s just go to bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he agreed easily. I could feel his arm ghosting behind me, I know he wanted to have it wrapped around me, I did too, but I still had no idea how to make this public. To make it work if we were public.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once we’d made it to the door he waved his hand over the lock and let us inside. It was early enough no one would think twice about my entry but I imagine they’d raise eyebrows when I exited tomorrow with the same jeans and hoodie. A tomorrow issue, for sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Stepping over the threshold, I didn’t linger by the door. I’d been in here enough times not to feel awkward in what was essentially his bedroom. I walked purposefully over to the bed and jumped forward, allowing myself to nosedive into the plush surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” I groaned when my face made contact with the mattress. John chuckled and wandered around the room for a little while, which I mostly ignored. The mattress shifted under his weight and I propped myself up to look at him. He’d changed into some pyjays already and was holding a neatly folded t-shirt in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You planning on sleeping in those sneakers and jeans or what?” he asked, amused smirk on his face. I rolled my eyes and let him help me remove my hoodie and t-shirt. His expression changed when I sat before him in just my bra and jeans and I smiled tiredly at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can look with more than just your eyes, John,” I told him and he scoffed, shaking his head a little at me before reaching forward to do just that. He pinched the clasp at the front and it snapped open, cups falling to the side. He slid the straps over my shoulder and tossed the fabric onto his nightstand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you just wanted to sleep,” he commented, touching everywhere but my breasts. His fingertips trailed my back and waist lightly enough to leave goosebumps and I tried not to shudder as my nipples peaked under his intense stare. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do,” I agreed. I looked up at him through my lashes. “Help me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can do that,” he said softly, leaning forward to connect our lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His large hands splayed out across my shoulder blades and his tongue brushed across the roof of my mouth. I let out a soft moan at the tingling sensation and let him push me down onto the mattress. Without breaking apart from me he lifted my knee up to rest on his chest where he then unfastened the velcro of my sneaker. Tossing it off the edge of the bed alongside my sock, he dropped my leg by his hip and moved to repeat his actions with the other side. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfastening my jeans, fingers hooked into my waistbands and pulled them down along with my panties. I reached my hand out and tugged his plaid pyjama pants down his hips and he shrugged them down as his lips gently melded with mine. I could kiss him for the rest of the night like this, it was as easy as breathing. My eyes felt heavy, I was exhausted and this was exactly what I needed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I whispered against his mouth. “Come on, I’m ready,” I told him and he moaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Keep it in your pants, O’Neill, haven’t you heard about the art of seduction?” he replied, tugging his pants further down to his knees and his shirt over his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How am I supposed to keep it in my pants when you already tossed them on the floor,” I teased and he chuckled, moving down to pepper kisses all over my lips, neck and jaw. He sucked the flesh behind my ear in between his teeth to nip lightly at the skin and I moaned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long have you been keeping that spot from me?” he chuckled and I shifted my hips up to rub against his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” I said softly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it baby?” he asked, staring down at me as he trailed a finger around my nipples. “What do you want?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just want lazy Sunday afternoon fucking, I want to feel you, in me, slow,” I said, my eyes burning into his own. “I’m so tired, I just want you. I need you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you,” he told me, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He used the hand at my thigh to pull my knee up higher and wider, creating a larger gap between my thighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His fingertips dipped into my folds and he groaned, finding them already slick. He spread the wetness up to my clit, tracing the sensitive nub gently before wandering down again and pushing inside me. His fingers, as usual, knew exactly what to do and where. I bit my lip, my eyes shut tight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you,” he whispered again as he combined scissoring his fingers with stroking the inside walls of my cunt. I whined softly. “Let me make it alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck me, John,” I murmered back and he pulled his hand away, pushing back inside me with his cock instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed contently at our connection and lifted my hips to meet his. Slowly he rocked against me, and held me tightly to his chest. My knees sat just under his armpits and my heels dug into his lower back as I squeezed my legs around him. One of his hands cradled my head while the other pressed down hard into the mattress as he propped us up. His mouth alternated between kissing the sensitive part of my neck and dragging tongue and teeth down my collar and breasts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel the tension slowly build across the night, eventually exploding into an intense white hot heat unlike any that I’d felt so far. I guess slow and seedy really does win the race. Glancing at the clock when I could see again, I looked at the harsh red matchstick numbers. It had been hours and I’d never felt so relaxed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly dropping my legs to the side I felt John slowly pull out and slide his pants back up his legs. He tugged the shirt he’d originally been trying to put on me over my head and I moaned softly, annoyed I wasn’t allowed to go straight to sleep after that. He chuckled softly at me and pulled the blankets up over us. I rolled over so I was no longer on my back but my side, resting my head on his chest and pressing a chaste kiss to the bare skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a comfortable weight on my chest, warm breath fanning over my neck and a thigh draped over mine. Dropping in and out of consciousness I was greeted with easy, gentle dreams about everyday things. Being at a football game, sitting on a ferris wheel, sitting by a lake with a beer and a girl. Evelyn. The girl wore her face. Every dream had her, sure Teyla, Rodney and Ronon showed up at the football game but who was sitting beside me on the ferris wheel? Evelyn. Who sat in my lap on the pier overhanging the lake as the sun went down? Evelyn. And honestly? I didn’t mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>However nice things rarely last and I jerked harshly awake at the sound of my door chimes going off. I glared at the alarm clock on my bedside, having been rudely awoken at 6am Atlantis time was not on my To Do List. I sighed and decided I’d better get up and see who was visiting this early before they woke Evelyn up. She rarely slept, even though she’d been trying to do better. Even though she’d been avoiding me, I still knew. I gently shifted her off me and slid out from under the covers. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I picked my shirt up off the floor and pulled it on over my head as I padded towards the door. Glancing back at Evelyn, who was thankfully still undisturbed, I made sure to stand where she would be out of view. I waved the door open and was greeted with the sight of a very serious looking marine I didn’t know the name of. I lent on the doorframe with one arm and waited for him to introduce himself, explain why the hell he was outside my door on my day off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir,” they greeted. “Clean up team Delta found a Dart amongst the debris outside the east tower. What should we do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, leaning slightly forward and, taking the hand not currently holding me up against the door jam, pinched my nose. It was too early for this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I guess we know how yesterday’s Wraith got here and they at least came alone,” I replied. “Wake McKay, and have him gather a Science team. Get them to have a look at the dart and see if anyone’s inside or if they can tell if there's been any relay between it and it’s mothership,” I explained. “Tell McKay to get anything he can off that ship and not to wake me again until he’s sure it’s something that will be useful in figuring out what happened yesterday. Until then, he’s in charge of the project.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” the Marine responded and I yawned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that goes for you, too. Don’t come back here unless it’s an emergency,” I told him and he smiled and nodded once at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” he agreed, saluting me and turning on his heel, heading back down the corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I waved my hand against the door controls and it slid shut again, locking itself as I turned and walked back towards my bed. It was early and I just wanted five more minutes in beside my girlfriend. Even if she refused to acknowledge that’s what she basically was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I slid back under the covers, shifting Evelyn so she was resting her head back on me again. She stirred slightly with the movement and I leaned down to press my lips to her forehead. She mumbled something in her sleep before ceasing all noise and moevemnet. I dropped my head back down onto the pillow and sighed. A few more mornings like this wouldn’t be so bad. She might not want to go public, but last night proved at least that she wanted me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had to be patient, she’d come around. It wouldn’t be long until I could have her convinced. She’d come around, we’d go to Weir and she’d be okay with this. She’d give us her stamp of approval and we wouldn’t need to sneak around anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rodney POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sheppard said what?” I snapped, rubbing my eyes tiredly under the scrutinising gaze of the marine in front of me. “That’d be just like him,” I grumbled. “First time he puts me in charge since the Doranda system and it’s because he doesn’t want to get out of bed this early on a Saturday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t like it either, sir,” the marine commented and I snapped my head back to him with a glare. Oh, so now I was getting cheek? I should send him to go wake O’Neill, see how he likes being made fun of this early in the morning. If she didn’t eat him alive first. Nothing on God’s green Earth could get that woman to go to sleep but once she was, pray for whoever woke her back up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colonel Sheppard said there might be others inside, and it might be able to explain what happened yesterday,” the marine told me and I sighed. I did want to know why the Wraith tricked a Genii into helping him break into Atlantis and sabotage a random section of the corridor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Give me five,” I sighed. “I’ll meet you out there with my team.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shifted slightly, for some reason I hadn’t slept on my face last night and my shoulder was slightly stiff as a result. I also had something living and breathing tucked under my left arm and thigh. Fingertips walked my hip up to my waist and I moaned softly, not entirely convinced I wanted to be awake right now. Not yet. A different hand splayed out across my shoulder blades and gentle breath tickled the top of my head as it shifted the loose strands of hair. I blinked away the sleep and looked up at John who looked about as half asleep as I did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” I said, voice croaking slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey beautiful,” he replied softly. “You sleep good?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I slept,” I murmured, surprised I’d gotten as many hours as I did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled lightly, sound barely escaping his dry from sleep lips. I shifted so I was laying on his chest again, shutting my eyes and breathing out a gentle, content sigh. This was new, Sure I’d slept with John before, slept in his bed even, part of that time with him. But I’d never slept over before. Not even that one night stand from years ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You sleep good?” I said eventually, realising I was being rude not returning the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, until a marine came to the door and woke me up,” he told me and I hummed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’d they want?” I asked. His hand that had been moving over my hip slid up to my hair and ran it’s fingers through the strands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Apparently, one of the clean up teams dealing with the fallout from the storm found a dart,” he told me. “We think that’s how the Wraith got in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If they were in a Dart, shouldn’t that mean there’s a ship nearby?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The long range sensors would have picked something up,” he replied. “So either they’re hiding just out of range, or he’s working alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good news,” I said, snuggling in closer. I was comfortable here, while I liked talking with John, I wanted to do nothing more than get some more sleep. And I had no idea where this desire had come from. Tiredly, I looked back up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s still early,” he told me, glancing at the alarm on the nightstand. “You wanna get more sleep?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“One thing first,” I told him and he looked amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he asked and I pushed myself up off his chest, crawling slightly further up to place my lips on his. I kissed him deeply and he returned it, albeit a little surprised. I moved so I was sitting in his lap rather than laying on him, a thigh either side of his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” he said, pulling back. “You said one thing, is this a kiss or something else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I want you to help me sleep again,” I told him and he chuckled. “I want you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really are something else, you know that?” he grinned cheekily up at me, shaking his head slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like you, stupid,” I reassured. “Of course I always wanna fuck, it’s one of my favourite activities. It’s all the more special to get to do it with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Well I’m glad I can help out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shut up,” I said, shaking my head and leaning down to kiss him again. Shifting under me, he pushed his hips up and slid his pants down his thighs. He dropped back down again and lazily drew circles with his thumbs on the inside of my thighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kissing him gently, slowly and deeply, I let the minutes tick by like we had last night. While there was nothing more errotic than the first, frantic time we’d slept together out here, but I loved the slow and lazy fucking we’d been doing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand slid further up my thigh and parted my folds with it’s thumb. He drew rhythmic circles around my clit, pushing around residual wetness from last night. I could feel my arousal growing as he played with my tingling bundle of nerves and kept kissing me the way he knew I liked. I reached forward to play with his semi and he moaned into my mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Having him stand at full attention I pulled back and off him, scooting forward again before I moved my hips slowly down. He pushed into me and I let out a guttural moan. Thankfully he caught most of the sound with his mouth so his neighbors wouldn’t be disturbed but that didn’t stop him from looking smug. I gripped his t-shirt and he buried his head in the crook of my neck, kissing and nipping at the tender skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” he spat, holding on to my hips firmly. “There’s my good girl, I’m already so close.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I whined, pretty close myself. “Please.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please what?” he breathed, dragging his lips across my jaw. “You need me, baby?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, I’m almost there,” I told him and threw my head back. His teeth scraped along my throat and I shuddered. I felt the knot tightly pulling in my abdomen, my whole body felt like it was on fire and I was close, so close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you, beautiful,” he said and brought his thumb back to my clit. I jerked forward and came with a string of whispered curses in his ear. I clenched hard around him and he let out a strained groan. A few sloppy thrusts later and he was spurting ropes into me again. Pulling me in for a searing kiss, he rolled us onto our sides and held me close as we came down from our highs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could already feel myself dropping off, closing my heavy lids and resting against the pillow with my legs still firmly wrapped around him. His hand came up to tuck some hair behind my ear and lips connected with my forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was after ten the next time I woke up. I had a hand behind my head and an arm around Evelyn’s back as she propped herself up above me on her stump. Her fingers gently raced patterns on my chest through my t-shirt. She glanced up at me through her lashes, thoughtful look on her face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long do you actually think Beckett will be able to keep us to himself?” she asked. Ah, there it was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He takes his doctoring pretty seriously, if he really does treat it like doctor/patient confidentiality we shouldn’t have a problem,” I said, thinking out loud. “But, he is also a bit of a gossip, he gets excited about these things so there is the possibility of him accidentally letting something slip.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought the same thing,” she sighed. The patterns she’d been drawing on my chest switched over to smaller, faster circles as thoughts swirled around inside her head. “He didn’t seem to think the two of us together was a problem… Or at least he never said as much...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on in that head of yours?” I asked and she let out a sigh before ducking her head down away from my gaze. I picked the hand I had resting on her back and brushed some hair away from her face. She leaned into my hand and shot me a distressed look. Whatever it was she was thinking about, it was clear it’d gotten her pretty wound up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We keep having this same conversation, do we or don’t we. Do you want me? Do we do this? Do we tell everyone?” she started. “And back at the start of this I was content to just let you be my team member that I kinda thought was attractive. And then we slept together and then we decided we wanted to do things long term. And this whole time everyone else knew!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we were too busy giving each other longing stares to be subtle,” I shrugged and she sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not saying I’m ready but,” she pushed herself onto her knees, sitting upright in front of me. She swept some of her flyaway bedhead hairs off her face and neck. “If everyone important already knows how we feel about each other, and hasn’t outwardly expressed any objections to it, maybe coming clean about this won’t be so bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, you did say, Weir has already made some comments about us,” I pointed out, sitting up against the pillows. “And Beckett and Cadman had that bet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That we know at least Teyla and Rodney also had money on,” she interjected irritatedly and I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That aside, out here in Atlantis, it’s different,” I told her again. “We’re completely on our own out here, we have occasional dial ins with Stargate Command but really, it’s just us. And we already know everyone else approves.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And if that changes?” she asked, raising a brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” I said, reaching out to cup her cheek again. “You’re trying to get ahead of everything, Evelyn, you can’t predict the future so stop worrying about it. You have to make a choice, a move before you let your whole life pass you by because you were busy making contingency plans.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just…” she sighed again. “I know what it’s like when something completely unpredictable blows everything out of the water, and I want to be ready for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you do,” I soothed, thinking back to when she’d told me about her little brother. And if we’re being honest, most missions out here had something strange and unpredictable happen blowing all plans we had right out of the water. “And sometimes, thinking about the bigger picture and about consequences is a good thing. But not if it’s causing you this much stress.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes dad,” she sighed and slumped back down again, face directly in the pillow behind me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of things your father would say,” I said, glancing at the clock. “It’s probably about time to get up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” she groaned into the pillow beside me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I chuckled and then shuffled out from under her, getting up to walk towards the bathroom. I glanced over my shoulder as I stood in the doorway and saw her eventually decide to roll over and climb out after me. I had the shower up and running before I saw her step into the bathroom. I admired her as she grumpily pulled my t-shirt up over her head and put it down beside my discarded pyjamas. She turned towards the shower, yanked the door open and stepped into the spray. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tugged me down towards her and connected our lips, kissing me roughly under the assaulting water jets. Moments later she was jumping up to wrap her legs around my waist and knotting her fingers into my soaking wet hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, all the time we save showering at the same time, we lose if you’re gonna pull stunts like this,” I teased and she rolled her eyes at me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just shut up and fuck me.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Hypotheticals</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While it had been two days since the storm, the gloom still lingered, making the clouds a fuzzy, light gray. The sunlight struggling to get through illuminated the water vapours covering everything in a harsh, white light. I squinted as I stepped outside and brought a hand up to shield my eyes. Having gone back to my room to change once John and I had finally gotten out of the shower, I was fully dressed in my black Atlantis uniform. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked around at the people milling around in front of me. Beyond the team of scientists fiddling around with the Dart there was a different team of people in charge of cleaning up the debris scattered around from the storm. I didn’t spot anyone I knew, not right away. I got a glimpse of Zelenka, head right in the ass of the Dart, but no sign of anyone else. John had mentioned something about meeting me here, because he needed to speak to someone. Which had explained his lack of presence. I hadn’t asked questions, that was his business, plus, I was too busy trying to convince my jelly legs to pull themselves together and walk straight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“At long last,” McKay bellowed, indignant temperament jolting me from my daze. “Where the hell have you been?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” I asked, walking over to where his team was combing through various parts from the Dart. I had to dodge several of the workers that were scurrying around trying to clear all the fly away rubble.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I sent someone to your room this morning when you weren’t in the lab, I figured you’d want to see this,” he explained. “After all, you were the one to take out the pilot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t remind me,” I groaned, thinking about all the goo, and how hard it’d been to wash off. “What’d you find out?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hang on, Colonel Sheppard has also decided to make an appearance,” Rodney grumbled. “You know he had me manage this because he didn’t want to get out of bed? I bet he’s been sleeping this entire time. At least you were probably off doing something productive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rodney,” John called out, walking over. He turned to me. “Evelyn,” he nodded once before looking back at the oversized mosquito McKay was standing in front of. “What do we know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, we know at least how our Wraith got in,” Rodney explained. “Whether intentional or not, he was able to use the storm as the perfect cover to fly right in undetected. Between it being the perfect distraction and all of our equipment being thrown out, there was no way, save for it flying directly over the top of someone, that would have known he was even here. And even then it was pretty dark.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll say,” John agreed. “O’Neill and I could barely see each other, let alone a three feet in front of us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, so why?” I asked. “Why did they come up with such an elaborate plan to get in?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like in an attempt at bargaining for their lives they, or at least our mummified friend, managed to convince the Wraith that not only were we still here, but they could help us disable our shields and make us vulnerable to Wraith attack.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Except they had no idea what they were talking about,” I commented. “Too bad, if they’d understood anything about this city, it might have worked.” Rodney laughed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well their mistake is our victory,” John shrugged next to us. I crossed my arm over my middle and held onto my stump. This was pretty much as close as I could get to crossing my arms without my prosthetic. I leaned back opting to stare at the ship rather than having eyes on the conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming this Genii had only ever heard the story of their attempted coup, and didn’t actually know what happened,” Rodney explained. "Which I’m also assuming, is why we found the charred bits of uniform and flesh. She probably tried to sabotage the conduits not realising there’s a bunch of other live tech under there. It’s impressive she managed to cause any real issues at all, let alone set off an experimental alert system that I wasn’t sure would even work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, now we know it does,” John said and I smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now it’s not hard to imagine once the Wraith found out she was bluffing, he decided to return her to her primary function, a snack,” Rodney said, finalising his working theory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, and do we know if he was working with anyone?” John asked. Rodney shrugged. I raised an eyebrow. All that and now he was stumped? Surely this was actually something he could search for. Weren’t there transmission logs on these things? But I supposed Wraith had the telepathy thing so maybe not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if Wraith exile each other, but it looks like this particular one was not welcome back home. Which might be why he agreed to this ludicrous plan,” Rodney explained and Sheppard nodded understandingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If he could come back with something significant, show his worth, they might let him back in,” John continued and Rodney nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Exactly,” he confirmed. “And what’s a bigger gesture than bringing Atlantis, the city that previously caused them so much struggle, to its knees?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, any other Genii or was it just our friend?” I asked, looking back at the two of them and gesturing to the Dart with my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s the bad news,” Rodney said, following my gaze to the ship his team was surrounding. “Looks like there’s a lot of life signs in there. We can get them out, especially since nothing is damaged like last time but, it would mean having a bunch of Genii on our base.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well,” John exhaled, glancing over at the alien ship one more time. “We better go and talk to Weir about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded beside Rodney and the two of us stood staring at the Dart with a shared look of disdain. While this was an excellent opportunity to learn more about Wraith technology, especially since this Dart is in working condition unlike the last one we had to try and get Cadman out of, it still brought back the memories of trying to get Cadman out. And it would also mean unleashing a bunch of space communists unto the galaxy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you two just standing there for?” John boomed, startling Rodney and I, making me jump about a foot in the air. John tried to hide his amusement as the two of us turned back around to see him a few feet away from the door leading back inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?” Rodney asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>we, </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn’t I McKay?” John said. “That means the whole team,” he jerked his head towards the door. “Come on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Rodney nodded and I smiled, offering him a singular nod and a muttered, “Yes sir.” to which he took even greater amusement in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sir,” John grinned cheekily. “I could get used to that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” I rolled my eyes at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The three of us set a quick pace, marching towards the nearest transporter. There was a bridging transporter right by the Gateroom which would have us in Weir’s office in no time. However if the whole team was invited, it might take Teyla and Ronon a while to catch up, wherever they were. John put his hand to his ear, radioing them to meet us there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I rolled my stiff shoulder, I wasn’t used to sleeping on my side, and my body was making me pay for it. Karmic retribution I thought, what I get for having a secret relationship with my boss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something wrong with your shoulder?” Rodney asked and I waved him off. If only he knew.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, must have slept funny,” I dismissed. He didn’t push any further and we walked in silence the rest of the way to the control room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked step for step behind John, and Rodney walked at his side, nervously wringing his fingers. A trait the two of us used to share, it would seem. I stared thoughtfully down at his hands, wondering what could have him so worked up all of a sudden. Weir glanced up from her paperwork as we reached the walkway to her office and smiled at myself and John. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John, back again so soon, and you’ve brought..” Weir started just as McKay came into view, walking into her office ahead of us and presenting himself in front of her. “..Rodney..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we’ve finished our analysis of the Dart,” Rodney said, oblivious to Weir’s surprise. I however raised a brow and looked between her and John. She looked like she was asking him something and he shook his head at her. He jerked his head towards Rodney and she looked like she had more questions but held her tongue. I had questions of my own, now, but decided to push them to the side for now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stepped further into the room and walked right up to one of the chairs she kept in front of her desk for visitors. I slumped into one and leaned on one of my elbows, waiting for the rest of the team. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” Weir nodded in response. She folded her arms over her chest and leaned on her desk, looking up at him expectantly. He was about to start talking again but fortunately Ronon and Teyla chose that moment to show up. Showing little regard to whose office he was in, Ronon strolled right up to the couch along the side wall and flopped down like he was in his own living room. Teyla smiled at me and offered me a nod, sitting down beside me on the edge of my chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Looks like it was a solo mission,” John, who had been leaning up against the door jam up until this point, said. He walked further into her office and perched on the corner of her desk, facing everyone in the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s good news, isn’t it?” Weir asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s the only good news,” I commented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Turns out the Genii body we found yesterday wasn’t the only outsider this Wraith brought to our base,” John explained.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So we’ve got a live cargo loaded right into the dart and nowhere to put them,” Rodney said and Weir raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” she asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well they’re probably Genii and we haven’t exactly had the best of luck with them,” he told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you suggesting we leave them in there?” Weir asked and I shrugged, at least then we’d be able to find out how long humans could survive inside there in a dematerialised state.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” Rodney protested, annoyed she’d even suggest such a thing. “But we can’t just let them out here. Remember last time they were in Atlantis. Also, as far as we know they lead that Wraith here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So we take the Dart to some random planet with a gate and let them out there,” Ronon said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How? None of us know how to fly that thing,” Rodney argued. “Most experience we’ve had is Evelyn fiddling around with things in the cockpit last time and we all know that didn’t exactly go well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!” I snapped my head over to him. “I’d have had you out in seconds if the safety protocols hadn’t’ve barred me from doing it. Other than lack of power, I think I did just fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t even read Wraith,” Rodney countered and I scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well not as well as you can, Dr Smarty Pants, but I understood enough to get you out in the end. Which you still haven’t thanked me for, FYI,” I pointed out, turning away from him and glaring at the wall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh thank you for recklessly edjecting me from an alien spacecraft with a second consciousness in my head, I’m so grateful. And let’s not forget, some of that was Zelenka,” Rodney fired back and I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Typical, the only time you give Zelenka any credit for anything and it’s when you’re trying to shut me down,” I bit back and crossed one leg over the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Regardless,” John warned, raising his voice in an attempt at calming the situation down. “If moving the Dart isn’t an option, what else can we do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t see why we can’t just let them out here. With our gate still locked down, it’s not like they have many places to go. None of them have the gene necessary to pilot the Jumpers and the only place from there to go is to the mainland. They could go to space but they wouldn’t be able to get back to their planet for centuries,” I said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let them out here and then what?” John asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Boot them back through the gate to their own place,” I shrugged. “It’s not like the Genii don’t already know we’re still here. We can’t hold them prisoner, even if we did have enough space and manpower to keep them, it’d be a waste of resources. What else can we do with them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Killing them is out?” Ronon asked, leaning forward on his knees. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ronon!” Teyla scolded, looking back at him with a glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well yeah, we kind of lose the moral high ground if we go around murdering everyone we disagree with,” I said and he smiled at me, amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We need to find out if they were all working with the Wraith or if it was just that one woman,” Weir said. “Once we establish they’re not going to contact other Wraith once we release them, O’Neill is right, we should just send them home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, alright,” John nodded, looking around at all of us, checking to see if we were all in agreement. “Guess we free them and get some answers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, keep me in the loop,” Weir agreed and then dismissed us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teyla and Ronon headed off without another word, Rodney following after them, storming down the stairs into the gateroom, still seething from our minor disagreement. Looks like when I said I wished things were back to the way they used to be I should have been more specific. Now things looked like they were back to when he and I first met. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I caught Weir and John exchanging more secret glances, wordless conversation going on between them and I internally sighed. I’ll know when it’s my business to know and no sooner. I pushed myself up out of the armchair and headed out of her office, walking past Chuck in the control room and offering him a smile and a wave before heading down the stairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” John called from the top of the landing. At the bottom of the flight I looked back up at him, pausing in my tracks. He was leaning over the railing to grab my attention and I folded my arms, waiting for him to say more. “Hold up, I’ll walk with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pushed off the railing and hurried around the side, taking the stairs two at a time until he reached me. He smiled softly before we started up pace again and walked in a comfortable silence until we were someplace more private. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what was that just now with McKay?” he asked and I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something’s bothering him, he was ringing his hands earlier,” I said. “It might not have anything to do with me, he’s just taking it out where he can.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can tell he’s nervous just from that?” John asked and I shrugged again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s been other things, subtle movements and expressions, when you’re around him as often as I am, you pick up on his little Rodney-isms,” I explained. Unable to keep to my plan of minding my own business I looked over at him. “Hey, what was that back there with Weir?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” John asked, playing  the ignorance card.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t act dumb, John,” I said, annoyed. “She’s been looking at me weird since we walked into her office and the two of you have been sending each other looks the whole time. What don’t I know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” he said and I didn’t much believe him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Earlier…</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking through the control room, I spotted Weir through her office window. She was going over some papers behind her desk and looked deep in thought. Evelyn raised a good point earlier, how long could Beckett keep things to himself? So what was probably against her wishes, I wanted to put some feelers out, gage what Elizabeth would say before the two of us came clean about seeing each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I knocked on the frame and Eizabeth glanced up at me. She smiled warmly at me and waved for me to come inside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” she greeted. “Have a seat.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I followed her invitation and sat in one of the armchairs across from her. I didn’t exactly know how to go about this, I hadn’t planned this and maybe I should have. I didn’t want to actually say anything had happened yet, Evelyn would kill me. Or worse, dump me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What can I do for you?” Weir asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t know there’s actually anything you can do for me, not yet,” I answered and she looked at me, slightly amused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, then why are you here?” she asked and I smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, I can’t visit?” I joked and she shook her head. “Alright, hypothetically,” I started and she put her papers down on her desk, leaning back and giving me her full attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hypothetically,” she confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Say I had feelings for someone in the expedition,” I said. “Would that be a problem?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Will this interfere with your job?” she asked and I shook my head. “Well then John, you’re human, if you’re interested in someone I can’t ask you not to. Just be advised if it does start interfering, I’m putting a stop to it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hypothetically,” I said and she nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hypothetically,” she repeated and paused for a moment. Her expression changed from firm to excited and she scooted closer in her chair. “So, does this hypothetical person reciprocate?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d say so, yeah,” I replied casually, I knew that much at least. Evelyn might not want to go public, or use labels but I knew at least she liked me. “So you really don’t have a problem with me seeing someone on this expedition, even though I'm, say, the military leader?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you planning on using your position in order to get this hypothetical person?” Weir asked, raising a brow. I shook my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I replied. “That would be an abuse of power.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good,” she said. “Then no, I don’t have a problem. You’re allowed to date, John. So long as Atlantis doesn’t suffer because your priorities have shifted, you having a girlfriend doesn’t pose an issue.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I replied. “Well that’s that then.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just come back when you’re ready and let me fill out the declaration forms and mark them for approval,” she told me and I nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Meltdown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Standing in a quiet alcove, around the corner and tucked away from the transporter, John towered over me, rubbing the back of his neck. He honestly expected to believe all that was nothing? I knew it wasn’t my business, I didn’t NEED to know and that I should just keep things ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’, but I was never very good at that. Why do you think I was in the Stargate program, whose daughter do you think I am? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nothing, huh?” I scoffed, shaking my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn,” John sighed and I cut him off, throwing my hand up between us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever it is, that’s your business, John,” I said and he looked down at me in disbelief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you believed that, you wouldn’t be bringing it up,” he commented and I scowled at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the one who said you wanted this to be a real thing, more than just two people sneaking around together for some bedroom fun,” I pointed out. “I keep you in the loop John, that’s what you asked of me. Now unless you and Weir were discussing matters of say, national security, I’d appreciate the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn,” he repeated, looking a combination of annoyed, exasperated and guilty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forget it, I’m over reacting,” I dismissed. I did not want to start a fight, not over what was basically nothing. I pushed off the wall I was leaning against and tried to get around John, and back out into the corridor, but his hands made contact with my upper arms. He pushed me back into the alcove and I raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you’re not,” John admitted with a heavy exhale. “I just didn’t want to tell you. I’m sorry okay, I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was icing you out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s so bad you didn’t wanna tell me?” I asked. We’d discussed some pretty personal things over the last six months we’d been out here. Now he had things he wanted to keep to himself? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not bad,” he said. “I said something to Weir and I didn’t want you to be mad. I didn’t actually tell her anything, I just put some feelers out there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” I asked. “What do you mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I told Weir I maybe had feelings for someone on Atlantis and asked if that would be a problem,” he told me. Oh. That was why he thought I’d be mad, why he didn’t wanna tell me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you were worried I’d cut and run if I found out,” I thought out loud, nodding my head. I dropped my head to stare at my boots for a moment while I refocused. I pressed my lips together in a thin line, this wasn’t a good start to things. Lying to me was more preferable to telling me the truth. Maybe I was being too insistent on doing things my way, and only really focusing on what I wanted but John shouldn’t feel like he had to hide things from me, even if he’s ignored what I wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think you’d leave me,” he said. “Murder me maybe, but I didn’t think I’d lose you. Just that you’d be upset.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was coming around to the idea, I said as much this morning,” I said. “Which I’m assuming is why you wanted to get a jump on things. You’re not one for sitting around idle. I just wish you’d told me. Or even if you hadn’t, now when I asked, if you’d just not brushed it off as nothing. This isn’t a good start. If we’re serious about us, we can’t be hiding things from each other. Even if we think the other will be mad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he sighed. “I guess I just fell into how things used to be with Nancy and I. I’m sorry. This is new, you’re new. And honestly, the way I did things last time didn’t exactly go well for me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Went pretty well for me though,” I pointed out, trying to ease the tension with a joke. He quirked a brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?” he scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, if you hadn’t have broken up with Nancy, we’d never have met,” I pointed out. “Or if we did, I’d have never have seen the inside of your bedroom. And then even if I had’ve joined the Stargate program, we wouldn’t be here having this argument.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s true,” he shook his head. “Thanks past John for fucking up your marriage. If not for you then Evelyn wouldn’t be getting laid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean..” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I’m sorry,” he said and I sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want this to work. For so many reasons but the most important one is that you’ve become important to me, more than you should,” I told him, stepping away from him to lean up against the wall again. “I wanna do this, and I think I’m okay with dealing with the fallout of going public. Just, in baby steps.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” he asked, perking up considerably. He stood a little taller, looking like a puppy who’d just been asked to go for a walk. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might slip into conversation with Weir I have a thing for someone out here,” I explained. “And a little later we can tell her. But from there I want to wait a while before we tell </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone </span>
  </em>
  <span>else. I especially don’t want gossip from here to get back to Stargate Command before I get the chance to tell the General. Or else we might not wanna go back to Earth for a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not serious,” John said and I nodded. “You’re a grown woman with a PHD and a military career.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And a year ago I was undergoing physical therapy, refusing to wash my hair, and locking myself in my room while he sat outside my bedroom door and listened to me sob,” I replied. “I was always tough, even before Charlie, but after losing one kid and having an almost moment with me he’s been overprotective since. I think that’s part of the reason he tried to get me out here. I’d be getting back on the horse but he would have to see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I understand,” he said softly. He looked like he wanted to say more, but didn’t know what. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So can we please agree on this?” I asked and he nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we can hold off,” he agreed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You keep saying that,” I pointed out. “And when you do, you either spend the rest of the time trying to sway me, or going behind my back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean it this time,” he said firmly. “I promise, you can set the pace.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” I accepted. I looked around, it was a miracle that no one had come by in the time we’d been hiding in this alcove and seen us. I shifted, standing in front of him and looked by him, I wanted to leave but he looked like we weren’t done. There was still tension, things still felt unresolved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to get to the gym,” I said and he raised an eyebrow. “I wanna see if Ronon will spar with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could..” he started but I cut him off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks I appreciate that, but I’d really like to get some training from Ronon,” I told him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to get going anyway,” he sighed, deflated. “I imagine Weir will want some help with the Genii we’re releasing and it’s kind of my job.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you busy later?” I asked him. He shook his head. “Wanna come round and finish that movie?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good,” he smiled. He ducked down and kissed my forehead, breathing in deeply and pausing for a moment, resting his face in my hair. Pulling away he quickly pressed a kiss to my cheek and then ducked in for another quick peck on the lips. I smiled, shaking my head as he stepped back and moved to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See you Maverick,” I teased, nicknaming him after the Top Gun lead and he smiled cheekily back at me, shaking his head. He walked around the corner then, leaving me in our private spot to go forth and figure out what the hell was going on in my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I found Ronon easily, he was in his usual haunt and eager to train me. I didn’t have to explain why, just that I didn’t want him to go easy on me anymore. That the training was more important. He grinned at me every time I landed a hit, praising me when I did something unexpected or executed a move he taught me well. But I was still worried it wouldn’t be enough. Yesterday was close, the time with Ellia was close. I could not afford to cut things so finely again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I’ll be the first to admit, when Weir and I met up with Rodney in the lab, where the Dart had been taken apart and brought to, I wasn’t giving it my full attention. I was conflicted, Evelyn wasn’t mad about me saying something to Elizabeth, which was good. And she was open to the idea of going public, it just wasn’t soon. Which meant more early mornings, late nights, and sneaking around. It was also clear something else was bothering her, but she wouldn’t quite let me in on it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could be so frustrating. I spent most of my marriage to Nancy wanting to talk but being unable to and now I was with Evelyn, I was finally able to talk without having to worry about clearance and she kept trying to shut me out. I rubbed a hand over my face. I just needed to get her seeing us as one unit, then she’d see we’d have to discuss things and make decisions together. Although, a lot could be said about me. I did kind of go behind her back with the Elizabeth thing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You alright, John?” Elizabeth asked and I turned to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, yeah, this is just,” I started and she nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” she agreed. “This is a lot. Ethically, pragmatically, it’s a big decision.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s get this over with,” I sighed, looking back at the taped off area the lab techs had set up to start beaming people out into. “We have no idea how long people can be held in there without complication, and they’ve been waiting long enough.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>McKay offered me a singular nod before typing away on his laptop. One by one, Elizabeth and I watched him beam a full strike team onto our base. We’d tried so hard to keep them all out, and now we were willingly beaming them in. Although, I doubted this was their intention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Welcome to Atlantis,” Elizabeth greeted, drawing the Genii soldiers’ attention. “If you’ll follow me, we have a lot to catch you up on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked point beside Elizabeth while two of my guys marched behind the group, making sure no one wandered off. They seemed compliant enough. I was on the fence over whether or not they were complicit in the plants to destroy Atlantis or not. Although the entire plan is completely theorised since both involved parties are dead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I noticed them looking around a lot but by the time we got into the meeting room, most of their glances were at each other and of concern. I stood beside Elizabeth the the front of the room, waiting for them all to take a seat. Making themselves comfortable, they looked unto us. They still looked concerned, although if I’d just appeared at my not quite enemy’s base I’d be pretty worried too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I can imagine you are all at a place of unease,” Elizabeth started. “And believe me I appreciate that…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seemingly uncaring Elizabeth was in the middle of talking, one of the Genii cut her off almost immediately. “Where is Petra?” she asked. The room murmured in agreement, everyone continuing to look around and nod amongst each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, who are you talking about?” Elizabeth replied, although I imagine the two of us had a fair idea who she was talking about.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Petra Novak, she’s quite small, red hair, very young,” the woman described. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She is one of our newest soldiers, this is her first away mission,” another continued. My lips pressed together into a thin line. This was awkward. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You see, the thing is,” I started. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s what we wanted to ask about, actually,” Elizabeth jumped in. “We were first alerted to your presence in the city when one of our sensors recorded some damage to one of our buildings.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heading to the site, we found some uniform shreds,” I continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uniform shreds?” an older man asked. “What does this have to do with the Wraith that brought us here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So it was a Wraith that brought you here,” I said, this was going to be easier than I thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we were on a scouting mission when a lone Dart flew overhead and started collecting members of our team. We were able to cause some damage but were ultimately caught,” the woman explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If she’s not here it’s possible that she managed to evade capture,” the first man explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you think she made it back home?” the second one asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s the case the Genii probably assume we’re dead,” the woman said somberly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m afraid we have more bad news,” Weir said gently. The strike team turned their attention to the front of the room again. “We did come across one other Genii soldier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course, the uniform scraps,” the first guy nodded to himself. “Tell me, what became of Petra?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My colleague and I found her too late when we were sweeping the building for the intruder,” I explained, thinking about how upset Evelyn had seemed over the incident. While she’d remained calm in the initial incident with the Wraith, humorous even, once the situation turned so too did her demeanor. She hasn’t been right since, not really. I’d need to check on her later, it was a good thing we had plans to hang out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he brought her here? What purpose would that serve?” the second guy asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have a theory,” Weir explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’re thinking our Wraith friend was just collecting snacks and trying to find a planet to settle on when he found our mainland. When he brought Petra out to feed on she managed to bargain for her freedom.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“By selling out the Lantian homeworld,” the woman said, nodding along with the murmuring crowd. “This is unsurprising.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We figure she heard about how we managed to save the city during the last storm and not fully understanding how our city works, offered the Wraith a deal,” I told them and they accepted this as plausible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bring Atlantis to its knees in exchange for her freedom,” the second man said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have intel that this Wraith was working outside the bounds of it’s mothership, exiled,” I said. “We just just needed to find out if you were in on this plan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” the woman told us. “I doubt Petra even worked us into her deal.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” Weir asked, raising a brow, surprised. She leaned back in her chair, I also found this pretty interesting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Novak is very ambitious, which is why, despite being very new, she was sent out with us,” the first man said. “If she was working alongside a Wraith she was working alone. I imagine if she had plans to exchange her freedom for the location and downfall of Atlantis, she also had plans to gate back to our homeworld and take credit for the victory against your city.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you had no idea what Petra was planning,” I confirmed and they all nodded in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We are just grateful, Colonel Sheppard, that we have escaped being food for the Wraith,” the woman told us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is to become of us now?” the first man asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, we can’t keep you here, and we’re not planning on putting you back in that thing,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So may we return home?” the first man asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’d like to send you back,” Weir agreed. “But we have some concerns…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want to be able to confirm the security of your city,” the woman agreed. “I am Vihra Kafka, I lead this team. I am willing to personally promise that neither the Wraith or the others back home will hear of what happened today. Atlantis’s status is safe with the Genii. We will not give you up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s good enough for me,” I sighed. While I doubted our still being here would actually be kept secret from the other Genii, I knew at least they wouldn’t sell us out to the Wraith. In fact, they probably already knew about our remaining existence, which was how Petra was able to make her deal in the first place. “Let’s get you guys out of here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Handing the rescued Genii over to the Gateroom team’s marines I headed to the mess. It was about dinner time and I figured I’d be able to get a judge on Evelyn’s mood while we were eating so I’d know what to expect tonight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I lazily pushed my tray along the counter, picking through the options before heading to our usual table to eat. Rodney and Teyla were sitting quietly and eating, the latter mostly ignoring the former as Rodney was as usual ranting on about something and nothing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s the others?” I asked, sitting down. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh, still in the gym,” Rodney rolled his eyes. “I tell you, once that woman gets her mind set on something, there’s no changing it. I tried to get her to come go over the new data we had on Wraith Darts with me but she was completely uninterested.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’re still there?” I repeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, it would seem so,” Teyla agreed. “It’s odd, Ronon has always had a certain fondness for training but he does not usually skip meals.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s probably Evelyn’s influence,” I sighed. “She can be pretty one track minded.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like I said,” Rodney agreed. “I can understand when she gets so hyper focused on projects in the lab, but I figured she’d give up on this pretty quickly at least. Unless she enjoys getting beaten up. People like us usually try and avoid all forms of physical violence after experiencing it for four years in high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You make the mistake of believing she’s a scientist before she’s a soldier,” I said and he shook his head, raising a finger at me. “Plus, I’m pretty sure she was fairly popular in high school.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s a pilot, not a soldier,” Rodney pointed out. “Unless you’re telling me pilots have a strange liking for getting their teeth knocked out, I’m certain that there’s something </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong </span>
  </em>
  <span>with Evelyn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t call it strange,” I joked. I put my fork down and shook my head. I knew something was up. “No, pilots don’t usually like getting beaten up, which is why we stick to the air. Her file did say she was highly trained in combat before her accident though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah she apparently used to train with Teal’c as a teenager before she joined the airforce,” Rodney said dismissively. “Something about her dad needing to find ways of keeping her busy without exposing her to too much privileged information.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So he had her spend extensive time with an actual alien,” I replied shaking my head again. That General O’Neill again. He really did make some strange moves on the chess board, but, he’d yet to lose a game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So Evelyn’s father was also a member of the Stargate team?” Teyla asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, he’s the leader of Stargate Command right now, took over from Weir when she came out here, he used to lead SG1 before he got promoted. Evelyn said it was a secret blessing because if he was still going off world he wouldn’t have been able to take leave to help her through her recovery,” I explained to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was one of the many conversations the two of us had had when we used to stay up late together and watch the skies. It wasn’t that long ago, but the time spent together over a beer seemed so much simpler. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah, that’s right, just after you got the chair to work he took a bunch of time off, we had to email him everything and resort to video calls and voicemail to communicate with him. I remember being annoyed about it at the time, I never thought about why,” Rodney admitted. “I was surprised he was there when we launched. Apparently he left pretty soon after and things didn’t really go back to normal until we first gated back to Earth. Guess it all makes sense now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did not realise Evelyn had lost her arm such a short time ago,” Teyla said. “It is amazing how quickly she has come back to work.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I agreed. It was a little soon.. maybe a little too soon. Maybe this was what was going on.. “I’m gonna go check out their training for myself. See just how beat up the two of them are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“While you’re there, perhaps you could actually practice what I taught you before our next training session,” Teyla remarked. I smiled to myself. “I am not joking, John. There is little point to our lessons if you do not practice your skills between them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know, I know,” I dismissed. “I’ll get on it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I picked up my tray and put it on the returns trolley, heading straight to the gym to see this hyper focused episode for myself. I just hoped she wasn’t back on the no sleeping thing again as well. I rarely suggested visits to see our resident psychologist but in this case maybe seeing Heightmeyer might prove useful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was outside the training room and could hear the grunts and moans from down the hall. They only got louder as I approached the nearly always open door and stepped through just in time to see Evelyn fly over Ronon’s shoulder and slam down hard into the mats. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ugh,” she groaned, pushing herself up as quickly as possible. She was still in the uniform she’d put on this morning, having not decided to go back to her room and change first, implying she’d come straight here from our conversation and been here since. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come to get your ass kicked too?” Ronon taunted, acknowledging my presence. He’d noticed me as soon as I stepped into the room, but had been more focused on his sparring partner at the time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wish that’s what’s happening,” Evelyn spat and threw up a hit. He caught it and the two hit and blocked step for step, pushing forward and back but making no real advances either way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All this time and you’ve yet to beat me, what happened since last time? Don’t tell me that was a fluke,” Ronon said and she growled. I raised an eyebrow at his antagonising, was now really the time? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All this time and you’ve yet to win,” Evelyn countered, wiping some sweat off her brow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we should take a break,” Ronon suggested after he’d made eye contact with me over her head. She shook hers, rolling her shoulders in their joints. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need a break,” she replied. “Let’s keep going.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Evelyn, what’s five minutes?” I asked. “You’ve kept going this long, surely you can pick things back up again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could,” she agreed. “But I don’t need to. Because I can keep going now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you?” Ronon challenged and she pushed forward, starting the next round. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I can,” she said through her teeth, swinging her hits in but getting nowhere. She looked angrier now than she had when I’d first walked in. The two fought for another five minutes or so before I tried again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, I was surprised I didn’t see you at dinner,” I said. “We missed you. Team’s not the same when it’s down two members.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not hungry,” Evelyn replied. “You’ll live.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could eat,” Ronon said, looking up at the clock and taking his eyes off his opponent. It bore little consequence to his match, though, as he was a much larger, more skilled fighter than she. She grumbled at that, hitting him harder to gain back his attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I not interesting enough anymore? Should I be more creative with where I’m aiming?” Evelyn scolded. “Don’t take your eyes off the fight, Ronon, you should know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t make much difference here,” Ronon answered honestly. Mistake. “I’m ready to stop for the night, I gotta grab some dinner before the mess closes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Five more minutes,” Evelyn argued. “The mess never closes, it’s always open for night shift workers.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, Evelyn, he doesn’t wanna miss out on the Salisbury steak,” I tried and she pulled back from Ronon with an exaggerated huff. She looked like she wanted to punch my lights out as Ronon stepped back to grab his stuff. He headed out the door quickly while she rounded on me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I watched Ronon’s back as he left the training room, leaving John and I alone inside. It was getting late and we’d been training for a while, but that hadn’t been a problem for Ronon before. Angrily, I launched myself at John. This was on him. Ignoring the beads of sweat pouring down my skin I threw my hands up in the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell was that?” I demanded and he pulled back a bit as he stood before me, raising a brow at my furious action. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I could ask you the same,” he countered and I scowled at him. I shook my head with a scoff, I was not in the mood. “Evelyn it’s been hours since you left for the gym. Weir and I already got stories from the Genii and sent them all back through the Gate. You’ve been here this whole time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I needed the practice,” I agreed, still annoyed he’d ended things early. “Rodney stopped by to get me to come into the lab with him but I told him I was busy and he understood. I don’t see why you can’t. What, are you jealous?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s the one who told me you were still here,” John scoffed. “Of course I don’t care who you train with, that’s not what this is about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is this about, then? That’s what I asked,” I said. I folded my arms over my chest, gripping the honeycombed prosthetic hard to keep my anger at bay. I was seething. “Why did you pull me out? Why did Rodney send you down here? And Ronon! Since when has he ever backed down from a fight? Like I need the three of you ganging up on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were concerned about you,” John said and it was my turn to scoff. He looked annoyed at that, shifting to try and maintain his calm body language. I knew I was pushing his buttons, I was hoping if I did he’d leave me alone to keep practicing. Ronon might have been gone, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do this without him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t need your concern, John, you know I could have kept going,” I argued. “I don’t need someone making my decisions for me and I don’t need someone telling me when </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>need a break.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell is going on with you?” He raised his voice a little with that one, pausing for a moment to level his tone. “Since when do you train this hard?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why is it a problem if I wanna get more practice in?” I asked. We stood five feet apart and I was sure if anyone was to walk into the corridor they’d hear us arguing without having to enter the room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why do you need to?” He said. “You’re a good fighter, you hold your own against me, you’ve already proven you can hold your own against Ronon. You’ve fought off and killed two Wraith. Why are you suddenly going so hard?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I can't,” I told him, shaking my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” he said, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I can’t hold my own against the Wraith John,” I told him, struggling to keep my voice from cracking. “Because when I was holding my own against Ronon, he was holding back, going easy on me. When I was holding my own against you, I lost. And when I was fighting Ellia, when I was fighting that Wraith yesterday I almost didn’t win. I wasn’t holding my own, John.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn,” he said softly, voice filled with empathy and realisation. But I didn’t want his comfort, I wanted his understanding. I wanted to be allowed to train as hard as I wanted, when I wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, John!” I cried out. “You almost died, </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And the common link there is I let the Wraith get the upper hand. I got lucky </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and there’s not going to be a third time. I can’t let there be a third time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn you’re not the common link. And I didn’t almost die, there was a scuffle, things might have looked bad but this is the Air Force. We’re out here in the Pegasus Galaxy and the Wraith are a recurring threat. We’re going to keep coming across them and they can be difficult to fight. Ellia was harder to fight because she’d just been given super powers from the retrovirus and that other Wraith had just fed, of course he was strong. None of that is your fault.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I keep slipping up, the gun jammed and John, next time they could be just as strong, and we might not be as lucky,” I said, bottom lip wobbling. “I know it’s not my fault, rationally, but I was there. That scared me, this is a problem and when I have a problem I fix it. But I can’t fix this, there’s nothing I can build, nothing I can fly, no daring rescue. I don’t know what to do here. The only thing I can do is get stronger, and I can’t do that if you pull me out when I’m finally getting somewhere.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You also can’t do that if you burn yourself out,” he told me. “I’m not saying you can’t train. But you’re supposed to be taking it easy after your brush with hypothermia and being almost fed on. If you want to get better you have to train regularly, not full throttle all at once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t know what else to do,” I said, shaking my head and bringing my organic hand up to my face to wipe away some tears that had broken free and started to trail down my sweaty cheeks. “I don’t want to feel like this, there’s this weight pressing down on me. I feel guilty that I wasn’t good enough, that things almost went so badly. If I was better, then maybe those things wouldn’t have happened. God, I almost lost you, you weren’t moving…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t understand why you can’t see why both of those situations were </span>
  <em>
    <span>improved </span>
  </em>
  <span>by your being there, Evelyn,” John told me, stepping closer as I held myself tightly. I could feel the hard, webbed prosthetic pressing into my stomach and I gripped my face, trying to hold back more tears. I couldn’t stop feeling guilty. I couldn’t stop. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because of you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you prevented something awful from happening to me,” he told me and closed the distance completely. The toes of our boots touched and he leaned down to look at me. He was close enough his breath bounced off my forehead and I shook. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I whispered, throat burning as I tried to keep the rock at bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please,” he begged. “Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I need to go get cleaned up,” I told him, stepping back and heading for the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel myself inches away from a full meltdown and suddenly all the sweat was making me itch. I needed to wash away this feeling. Between Charlie, and my Lieutenant, and failing to keep an eye on Ellia, I just couldn’t seem to make the right choices. I’ll be damned if John got hurt because of those wrong choices. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to him too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hurried to my quarters, practically running the closer I got to my door. I burst through it and locked it behind me. I went straight into the bathroom and threw on the hot tap, practically ripping off my boots and socks. I stepped into the steam filled shower, adjusting the temperature so there was actually some cold coming through as the water beneath my feet scalded the skin and the tiles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shoved my face under the burning rain and frantically tore through the buttons on my black shirt. It hit the shower floor with a wet flop and I started on my bottoms, undoing the button and shoving the cargo pants down my legs. I was shaking as my skin turned red, standing in my underwear and a tank top as I tried to stop the sobs from coming out. I hadn’t felt like this in a long time. I let out a cry and punched the shower wall. I leaned forward, propping myself with my prosthetic, having not gotten around to taking it off, and gripped my face with my biological hand. The tears spilled freely then, my body lurching with every whine. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I let out a pathetic whimper as my new arm fell the rest of the way to the counter top and clattered against the granite. There were blood spatters on the white benchtop and I whined, touching the tender skin. The surface around where the prosthetic lined up with all the skin that had been under it all day, was rubbed raw. I’d had some blisters, I’d been trying to ignore the discomfort as I got used to this. But now I’d completely broken the skin and the blisters had burst. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hated this. I didn’t feel grateful to still be here, this wasn’t fair. I was doing the right thing and I was aware of the consequences involved with doing my job. I was fully prepared to die in the fight for freedom, what I was not expecting was to live, but like this. I’d lost my </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>left </em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>hand. How was I supposed to do this without even getting away with my dominant hand? I would never fly again. I couldn’t do anything anymore. I couldn’t even tinker around with the toaster anymore. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh sweetheart,” I heard and looked up to see my dad looking at me sympathetically. He’d walked into the kitchen to find me standing at the counter gripping my face as I tried to hold in the tears. The pressure in my chest built up to agonising levels.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dad,” I wailed. He moved then, rushing forward and grabbing hold of me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He held me, arms tightly wrapped around me as I let the sobs completely wrack my body. He rubbed my back and whispered gentle words of comfort, but it didn’t fix anything. Him calling me sweetheart and telling me everything was okay would not make my arm grow back. This wasn’t fair. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let me see that arm, pumpkin,” he said, pulling back and patting the benchtop. I hopped up, tears still streaming down my face as I sat on the counter, like I used to when I was a kid and he was fixing a scraped knee. The lump in my throat hadn’t dissipated with the tears spilled, it still sat like a hard rock making it hard to speak, to breathe. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This isn’t fair,” I said, shaking as he cleaned the broken skin with some peroxide. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know pumpkin,” he told me, covering the wounds with gauze and wrapping a bandage around my stump. “It’s not fair and it’s not going to be easy. And your life’s never going to be the same. But it’s still your life. You still have a life.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“But what kind of life is this?” I cried. “I can’t even tie my hair up on my own anymore. Buttons are difficult, buttons! I’m 24 years old! I shouldn’t have to wear shoes with velcro! This isn’t fair!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know,” he said softly. “It’s hard. It’s going to be hard, but you’re alive. You’re here. You made it back. You’re still here.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dad I don’t want to be,” I told him and he looked up at me, eyes wet and threatening to let tears break the dam he’d been barely keeping at bay. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know,” he said, voice cracking. “But you’re going to stay. You have to stay.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>What was the point of surviving that crash, doing all that physical therapy, toughening up the skin of my arm and sending my ass all the way out here if I wasn’t actually doing anything? If I wasn’t helping anyone why was I here? Surely I could be just as useless at home. And at least there I wasn’t risking anyone else’s life.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Spread open and vulnerable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed as I sat in my hoodie and jeans, velcro shoes from yesterday back on. After my shower I honestly couldn’t be bothered with shoes with laces or even all the buttons of my uniform. Pulling a hoodie on over my barely dry body was about all I could manage and even then I still had to pull on some underwear and jeans. I didn’t bother putting my arm back on after I’d taken it off in the shower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pushed the mashed potatoes accompanying the Salisbury around my plate, paying my food little attention. I’d only bothered venturing out after my shower because I knew I needed to eat and didn’t fancy another lecture from John. I prayed I could at least get some restful sleep after this or else he’d be yelling at me about that as well. But with the way things were going for me at the moment that was doubtful. I had too much swirling around in my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn’t stop thinking about last year after the blast from the past I’d just experienced. I hadn’t really thanked my dad for all he’d done for me. I’d felt guilty when they’d first discharged me from Stargate command, I’d felt guilty while I was still in Stargate command, over scaring him like that. We had both known the risks of me being out there, but I’d promised him I’d try not to be reckless, I wouldn’t do any unnecessary maneuvers. And I’d meant it at the time, but Perez had needed urgent evac and we couldn’t wait for the airspace to clear or he could have died. At least, that’s what the medics had said at the time. Instead he almost died because I crashed our Blackhawk into the sand a few miles out from our drop off point. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I’d hated the time spent back at Dad’s place, being cooped up in my old high school bedroom that hadn’t changed since I’d left for flight school. I’d had to pack up my stuff pretty quick and put my apartment on the market. That felt like the biggest insult. Everything I’d worked so hard for, I was under 25 and had a home that was legally, 100% mine, and on top of everything else that had been taken from me, my job, my ARM, my friends... to take that from me too just seemed cruel. But of all the things the accident took from me, I never thought about what it took from my dad. I honestly didn’t think he’d had a restful night’s sleep since. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I finished up my dinner and headed back to my room, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling. I just wanted to sleep, push all these dark thoughts away but I knew if I did they’d come racing back again as soon as I opened my eyes. I don’t know how much time had passed since I’d gotten back but I jerked upright when the door chimes went off. It was so dark there was no residual light from the day anymore, and barely any moonlight as the skies were still thick and cloudy. I pushed myself up in the dark and waved the lights on, wincing as I opened the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry it’s late,” John greeted. “Sorry I’m late. I wasn’t sure if I should still come ‘round after earlier..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” I breathed. Suddenly standing upright and staring him in the face felt like agony. My back ached, and I felt like a weight was forcing me down. But at the same time I was relieved he was here. “Come in, of course you should.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stepped away from the door and waved it closed behind him as he stepped inside almost immediately. I headed over to the desk and booted up the DVD player and the disc spun round, coming to life instantly as I’d left it untouched since the last time we’d tried to watch this. I turned around to see him awkwardly standing halfway between the door and my bed. We couldn’t just forget about this and watch a movie, we had to talk, </span>
  <em>
    <span>again.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m struggling,” I told him, trying not to sigh. “I want all our problems to be when to go public, and stupid stuff like ‘can I call you cute pet names in front of the rest of the team?’ but if I’m being honest I have a lot heavier stuff with me. I come with a lot of baggage, more than a girl my age should.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t bother me,” he told me honestly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stood relaxed, even if he looked a little unsure as to where this was going. I knew I blew hot and cold, and I felt bad about that. I should be either all in or all out. The truth is I wanted to be all in, even if it hurts, I wanted this. But something was always holding me back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>was always holding me back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Everyone has baggage, Evelyn, it’s a part of experiencing life. A part of really living. And you can’t judge how much baggage a person has by their age, that’s not what living is. What bothers me, is that I’m standing right next to you and I have no idea what’s going on. It bothers me being this close, and not being able to help you. It’s like every time I’m standing there with you and I think you’re all in, suddenly something happens and there’s a glass wall between us. And I’d prefer you lift it. I don’t want to smash the glass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I nodded, moving over to put the portable DVD player on the bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pivoting, I closed the distance between us. I’d say the same thing if the situation had been reversed. I’d want to help him more than anything in the world. And the thing is, the role </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>been reversed, and he’d let me in, let me help him. He hadn’t dropped a barrier between us. I’d spent almost every day by Iratus John’s side and we’d talked. Even when things had gotten scary, I’d stayed until he woke up, and he’d trusted me to do so and let me in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for not letting you in on what I was dealing with today,” I told him, approaching a little more. “Especially after getting at you for the exact same thing. I guess we’re still getting used to this communication stuff. Since the gym, I’ve been thinking about my accident, about how it was only a year ago. About how I’m letting everything that’s happened in my life to cloud my decisions, to let it shape the way I do things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should see Heightmeyer, talk this out with her,” he suggested and I nodded. “If this is weighing on you this much, talking it out with someone rather than having it stuck in your head might help. And she’s a bit more qualified than I am.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve seen her a couple times before,” I admitted. “After the flashback I had in the shower I know I need to go back, I should, but I want to apologize to you first. Talk this out and keep you in the loop.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he agreed, bringing his hands up to slide up my back and over my shoulders, enveloping me in a gentle embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I melted into him, feeling some of the tension lift off me already. The ache that had been spreading in my shoulders eased under the warmth of his large hands. I felt a deep desire to be connected to him, emotionally he was deep within me and now I wanted to kiss him too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pushed up on my toes, minimizing the space between us almost completely, and pressed my lips desperately to his. Taking the weight off my heels, he tightly gripped my thighs and stepped between them, wrapping them around his waist. Using the grasp he had on my thighs he guided us back to the bed and lay me down into the sheets, pressing me down onto the mattress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was little noise with us in the room besides sharp intakes of breath, and the wet, clicking sound that came with our moving lips. The 5 o’clock shadow, that had been steadily developing since he'd neglected shaving this morning, scraped roughly against my cheeks and the skin around the lining of my lips. It burned and got more intense with each movement and it was perfect. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt him gripping the stiff waistband of my jeans, fingertips just under the fabric and brushing lightly past the skin beneath. His palm ghosted upward leaving goosebumps on their rise to my unclothed chest. His hand softly closed around the hot flesh of my breast, cuping it and letting out a deep groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course you’re not wearing a bra,” he scoffed to himself, equal parts appreciative and irritated at himself for enjoying that simple fact a little too much. His hips rubbed against mine, pouring gasoline on the fire that had been steadily building in me. His lips trailed down across my jaw, spreading the burn that came with his stubble down to my neck. I could feel myself getting wet. God, I wanted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait,” he gasped, pulling back, pupils blown but fighting off the arousal in an attempt at staying serious. “Didn’t you wanna talk?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let out an annoyed groan. “Not anymore,” I told him and he laughed breathily. Damn him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled back and I sat up in front of him, keeping my legs around him. He brought both hands to rest on my thighs, rubbing wide, soft, circles on them while he waited for me to start. He was doing nothing to make the need he’d just awoken in me go away, and all the tension we’d just released started to flow back towards me. I could already feel my muscles start to stiffen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, thinking back to the shower. I tilted my head to the side, all the dirty thoughts that had been pooling in my head poured out my ear just like water in the shower would. Replacing them were all the things I’d like to forget. And there was no better mood killer than that. With my head firmly booted out of the gutter, I focused on what I’d been wanting to talk to him about. Tried to gather my words so I could let him in to see me, all of me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you came,” I told him honestly. He’d looked so nervous in the doorway. He had no reason to be, I wanted him. I needed to prove that. “Something about you just makes everything easy, even when everything surrounding you is needlessly complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t say needlessly,” he said wryly and I smiled up at him. There it was, the light way he approached everything he could, that just made the heavy world seem a little less bad. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our conversation earlier, it brought back a lot of memories from when I’d felt similarly,” I said with a sigh. I know it was natural to feel this way sometimes, but I was still embarrassed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When you lose a limb, there’s so much they don’t prepare you for. We go out there and we’re prepared to die but not to live, not like this,” I said, running my hand through my bangs. The blonde hair I'd picked up from my father was constantly in my face, but I’d never sought to grow it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They don’t tell you when you’ve got a prosthetic it takes time for the skin around where you and it join needs to toughen up. They don’t tell you about the blisters or the calluses or the blood, they don’t tell you how clunky it’s going to feel compared to a real, moving limb with working muscles and tendons. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn’t cope well. I was back, physically, but when my dad helped me list and sell my apartment and I was back in my teenage bedroom I found myself staring at the ceiling and wishing I’d just died.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I shook my head. “But everytime he knocked on the door, trying to get me to let him in and sat outside it for hours when I wouldn’t, it was sobering in the worst way. I felt so guilty that everything I was doing, everything that was spinning around in my head was causing him so much pain. All the pushing and pulling away, being the only blood left in his life and I was just going to leave him in it alone, it felt wrong. And I felt worse,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know he’d never blame me for it, he took it willingly, he wouldn’t be angry with me. I know he loves me and sometimes this is just the labour of it, but it just felt like bad choices </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’d</span>
  </em>
  <span> made were hurting </span>
  <em>
    <span>us</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And I see a lot of parallels of that with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still don’t see them as bad choices,” he told me and I nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you don’t,” I said heavily. “But regardless, once again I’m finding myself letting everything that’s weighing on me drag you under as well. And I’m worried for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” he told me. “It’s all okay, just keep talking to me. I always want to listen. I’m always here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not obligated to pull me out of this,” I told him. He shook his head, a light laugh on his breath. “John..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he told me, cutting off my protests. “I decided a long time ago, not consciously at first, that I wanted to have you in my life. That I wanted this to work, and that I was going to do whatever it took to get that. And that just won’t happen if one of us isn’t here. You might not get it, not now, but yes, I am obligated to help you. Yes, pull you up if you need me to, because that’s how I get </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span>. How I get </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don’t know why we met at that stupid Air Force event a couple years ago, but I honestly think there’s a reason for everything. You don’t have to believe in fate, but there’s a reason we’re back in each other’s lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to be your second job…” I started and he sighed, dropping his head down and shaking it a bit as he thought about what he was going to say next.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will never see you as a chore, a job, or even as a burden,” he refuted. “I only see my girlfriend going through a rough time and I’m happy to be here with her until it blows over. Because I know it will. Do you think this is going to last forever? Evelyn of course it’s not,” he told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Girlfriend?” I echoed and he laughed again. He seemed to find this whole situation lightly amusing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>girlfriend,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he agreed. “Because of course that’s what you’re focusing on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah well this is a big step..” I replied awkwardly. Usually it was the guys who were flaky and aloof, but when John was in, he really was, all in. He ducked down to kiss me lightly, pulling back and pecking me repeatedly. Littering kisses over my lips, the corners of my mouth and alternating the pressure and length as our mouths intertwined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then jump,” he told me. “If it’s too big for a step, jump. Take a leap of faith once in a while.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine,” I agreed, kissing him back deeply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lay us back down on the bed and we settled on the sheets, Mars Attacks forgotten about for the moment as it sat, amazingly, undisturbed on the edge of the bed. I felt him shift over me and, as if thinking the same thing, picked it up with one hand and put it on the end table beside us. I heard the lid click closed and didn’t once feel his lips separate from mine. His hand returned inside my hoodie and I held in moans at the touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The longer he kissed me, mouths open and soft tongues brushing against each other, the more I could feel the tension melting away. How did he manage to balance talking seriously with me, and seducing the negative thoughts away? Who knew kissing could be used to wipe away intrusive thoughts? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hungry speed he’d been kissing me at tapered off and the deep, passionate caresses of the lips became soft pecks all over my face. His groping hand slipped back down my stomach and out in the open to rest by my head instead as he propped himself above me. He lowered his knees on the bed, moving his kisses to my neck, sucking softly on the skin and trailing teeth along the bones in my shoulder. Head buried in the loose collar of my hoodie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Laying beside and slightly on top of me, he rested his head in the juncture between my head and shoulder, closing his eyes with a sigh. Letting the moment swim by, we lay there in a comfortable silence, neither kissing nor sleeping, just being. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So how about that movie?” John said tiredly and I laughed, pushing up from under him and grabbing the DVD player. I settled back against the pillows, his head moving up to rest on my chest. The pop up menu covered part of the screen, asking if we wanted to resume playback or start again. I glanced over at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You wanna start again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah, we should pick up where we left off,” he replied, reaching over to press the button. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We watched as Byron Williams was escorting Tom Jones, Cindy the waitress and a few others out of Las Vegas and John made a clicking noise with his mouth. I looked back at him as he watched the screen, looking a little confused. I raised an eyebrow and he kept watching before frowning and letting out a sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did we get to this part?” he asked and then glared at me. “Did you watch more of this without me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” I replied indignantly. “I turned it off when you left. Look, let’s just start it again. It’s clear you weren’t paying </span>
  <em>
    <span>any </span>
  </em>
  <span>attention last time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well I did have a lot on my mind,” he defended and I shook my head, opening the pop up menu again and jumping back to the start of the movie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He settled back down onto the bed, one arm propping him up beside me and the other draped over me as he rested his head on my chest. The DVD player sat on my lap and the scene opened up to a herd of cattle running past a house in Kentucky. John pushed himself up a little more and ducked his head down into the crook of my neck, lips brushing under the wide collar of my hoodie. He kissed slowly up my collarbones and neck, bringing the scratchy, burning sensation back as he walked his lips up toward the sensitive skin behind my ear. I wanted to moan, he knew just where to get me. I felt his tongue brush across it and shifted uncomfortably, trying to pay attention to the movie. I felt his teeth make contact with my spot and he bit down, making me gasp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>John</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” I blurted out and he started to suck on the now tender skin. His expert tongue brushed over the bitemark, soothing the slight sting and I shifted under him again. “You’re gonna miss the movie if you keep this up…” I tried half heartedly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eh, we’ve seen this part,” he shrugged. He kissed across my jaw and then started pecking at the corner of my mouth, trying to coax me into the kiss and away from the screen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, just don’t blame me if you don’t know what’s happening anymore,” I caved and pushed my neck up further to press my mouth to his. He kissed me back deeply, tongue trailing across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth to let him in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teeth brushed against each other and I slid my tongue along his, tickling the roof of his mouth with the tip. He moaned into me and I smirked, not the only one of us here who knows how to get the other riled up, are you now? He sucked on my tongue then, using the hand he’d had resting on me to slide up under my hoodie again, and start groping at my breasts. Eventually the DVD player was moved to the nightstand again but left open, playing the movie neither of us were paying attention to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Growing tired of there being a layer of fabric between him and my skin, John pulled my hoodie up over my head and off my arms. He let out a soft sigh at the sight of my now completely naked torso and dropped his head down immediately to wrap his lips around a nipple.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the better part of an hour, John alternated between kissing my lips and worshipping the exposed skin of my torso, teeth nipping at the soft skin of my belly, tongue flicking over my nipples, and sucking to the point just before a hickey would form anywhere and everywhere he saw fit. His hips ground into mine as he was propped above me and I knew by the end of this movie, if we ever went back to it, my panties would be soaked through. I had one knee hooked around behind him as he sat between my legs kissing me as if he’d never get to do it again. Savoring every moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jerked back suddenly and looked over at the DVD player to see the Martians vandalising famous landmarks and climbed off me. Without so much as another kiss, </span>
  <em>
    <span>or explanation, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he went back to watching the movie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I remembered them killing the President of France,” he said and rested his head on the heel of his hand as he lay on his side beside me, propped up on his elbow. He left me exposed to the cool, temperature controlled, air of the room, nipples tightly peaked and left unloved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t say another word until the credits started rolling. I soured a little at first but eventually I got back into the movie, engrossed in Richie’s daring rescue of his grandmother. I found myself chuckling as the Martians slowly wheeled the giant raygun up behind the oblivious, Florence, and even more when she commented that they might be very sick after their heads exploded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pushing himself up, John leaned over me to close the lid of the DVD player. Before he could move away again I smiled up at him, fingers playing with the buttons on his shirt. He looked down at me and smiled back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” I said quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hi,” he whispered back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I threw myself back up at him and kissed him passionately, hoping to rekindle what we’d started earlier and he eagerly returned the motion, albeit a little surprised. My legs wrapped themselves quickly around him and I could feel him grinding against me. He pushed a knee up between the apex of my thighs and I gasped, getting some much needed friction. He smirked into the kiss and knotted his fingers in the roots of my hair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled back and checked his watch, looking at it with a sigh. I lay under him, confused for a moment before he climbed off of the bed, off of </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>, completely. I whined at the loss of contact and he leaned down with a gentle chuckle to kiss me on the cheek as his customary goodbye before heading towards the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>John</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” his name rolled off my tongue before I’d thought much more about what I was going to say. But my tone said all that was needed. He turned, a few feet from the door to look back at me. “stay,” I gasped, oxygen barely making it to my lungs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s late,” he told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t leave me like this,” I argued desperately. I was dripping, and with only my non-dominant, right hand, which was clunky and useless, to assist me, I was not in for a good night. I lay on my bed, propped up on my elbow and stump, shirtless and sticky from a combination of his saliva and my own arousal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” I implored. Arousal had been pooling in me for hours. He’d made sure of that. Working me up repeatedly since he’d gotten here, whether it started out intentional or not, he knew exactly what he was doing. And I was not above begging when I was this far gone. It was no longer embarrassing, he’d told me earlier I was his </span>
  <em>
    <span>girlfriend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright,” he chuckled. “I’ll stay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started unbuttoning his shirt and walking over to my wardrobe, taking out a spare hanger and putting his uniformed shirt, much larger than mine, over the sides. He hung it on the door and moved to his slacks. I watched as he slowly pulled his zipper down and rid himself of the fabric. He folded them in half and hung them on the bottom bar of the coat hanger, leaving him in his black t-shirt and boxer briefs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These uniforms make it pretty convenient for our overnight visits,” John commented as he pulled his t-shirt off as well. “No one can tell if we’re wearing yesterday’s clothes or not since we’re essentially wearing the same clothes every day. Means never getting caught.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I chuckled before shrugging. “Well, high risk, tends to yield high rewards,” I pointed out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re only interested in me for the adrenalin rush,” he joked and I laughed softly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s why I became a pilot, not started dating one,” I said and he grinned at me. He moved away from the wardrobe and set into business mode. His eyes creeped over my body hungrily and I took the same moment to admire his nearly naked form. Reaching the edge of the bed he grabbed my ankles and yanked me towards him until my hips and asscheeks barely touched the mattress. I let out a squeak as he pulled me towards him and he smirked down at me. He lowered himself to his knees, sitting between my legs as I perched just barely on the bed. Elbows pushing my knees apart, he groaned as he looked between my legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even your jeans are wet,” he told me, reaching for the button and zipper immediately. He leaned forward as he lifted me slightly to get the denim off my ass, pulling the jeans off and dropping them unseriously on the floor. Staying between my thighs and leaning down over my torso, his mouth was on my breasts again, making me whine. He was so close to touching me where I wanted him, where I </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>him and yet he hadn’t, he wasn’t. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I whined. He kissed his way down my torso one final time, stopping to nip and suck at the soft skin of my belly before his fingertips brushed against the fabric covering my crotch. I jerked forward uncontrollably and whimpered at the intense sensation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>wet,” he said, a grumbling rasp in his voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tugged my panties down my legs and I felt strings of arousal still stuck to them as they were pulled away from me. Eventually they snapped and  fired back like rubber bands, the sticky liquid making contact with my pussy lips again. He pushed my thighs up and out to open me up before him and he groaned appreciatively, hungirly, at the sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking </span>
  </em>
  <span>wet,” he said. He pressed an open mouthed, wet, kiss to the inside of my thigh, teeth scraping lightly at the flesh. “Your panties were soaked through, I get you all worked up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God, yes, John,” I cried out. “Fuck, please. Do something!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you need, gorgeous?” he asked, placing another sloppy kiss to the opposite thigh. “You want me to do something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Help me,” I whined, rolling my hips forward hopelessly. He groaned again as I shifted in front of him, trying to get closer to his mouth. “John, please. Please don’t tease me anymore. I want you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got you,” he told me, burying his head between my thighs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel his stubble scratching at the sensitive skin and it only added to the sensation. I could feel everything, I was on fire. I could hear the soaking wet clicking of his tongue moving out of his mouth and swiping up to part my folds. Like a starved man he licked, flicked and sucked every inch of my pussy, making my whole body shake. He hadn’t even penetrated me yet and I was inches away from an orgasm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I had my hand in his messy, dark hair and I was tugging with all the force I could muster under his treatment. I brought my left arm to rest above my head as I arched my back, pushing my hips further towards him as I was desperately awaiting my release. I felt him suck my clit between his teeth, giving it a little nip before sucking on it, hard. With my legs trembling I came hard with what could only be described as a guttural cry, which I tried my best to keep at bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lapped at the aftermath, refusing to come up until I was cleaned up from all the terror he’d caused earlier this evening. With only my new arousal dripping out of me, he climbed up onto the bed, pulling me up to rest on my pillows. He stroked some of my bangs off of my sticky forehead. My whole body was covered in sweat and my chest heaved. I felt constantly out of breath around this man. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you,” he soothed and pecked gentle kisses all over my face. “You alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, John, where were you keeping that?” I asked. “I’ve never had a bad time with you, sex is always great, but that? I,” I said, shaking my head. “That was something else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I heard,” he commented. “Seems like you don’t want to keep this as much of a secret as you say you do,” he teased and I sank further into the pillows, cheeks flushed red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s hard to when you make me feel like that,” I answered and he smiled proudly before leaning down to kiss me deeply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached between my legs again, brushing his fingertips between my swollen folds, circling my puffy clit before her ducked down inside me. His fingers stroked over my slick walls and alternated between thrusting inside me and scissoring me open. Not that he would have much trouble getting inside after that. I let out a small, high pitched cry as he hit something vital and I felt myself close to orgasm again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s my good girl,” he said, stroking my hair with his other hand. “You wanna come again? Or should we save it for when I’m inside you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I sighed, his thumb traced my clit as he waited for a real answer. My clit almost ached I was so turned on. I needed to feel him inside me, but I wasn’t sure one more orgasm would be enough. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you want from me, good girl?” he asked and leaned down to kiss me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Make me cum,” I told him and he kept moving his fingers, stroking me expertly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How?” he teased and I whined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John, your fingers,” I said, almost scolding. “God, I need another one. Fuck, please just make it happen.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled and moved his fingers a little faster, stroking and thrusting at the same time rather than alternating between the two and continuing to rub circles on my poor clit, which had already been through so much. With little warning, I was shoved over the edge with jerking hips. I threw myself up towards him and crashed my lips upon his, trying to muffle the absolute scream I felt was about to come out of me. My legs shook, all of me shook, and I dropped back down onto the bed again with a whimper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good girl, good girl,” he soothed as he worked me through, peppering kisses all over my sweaty forehead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s time,” I said and he looked down at me, eyes connecting. “I need you inside me. It’s time, fuck me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I got you, don’t worry,” he told me and pulled back, removing his hand from me and I bit back a disappointed whine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His boxer briefs were MIA in a matter of seconds and he was back on the bed, and settling himself between my legs. Moving my thighs as wide apart as possible, he pinned them down to the bed with his knees, sliding inside me moments after. I let out a deep groan as he did, clenching around him almost instantly. He hissed as he pulled back, my body still refusing to release it’s grasp on him. I tried to relax and was able to let go of him intermittently, as he thrust in and out of me. I tried to time it with his thrusting, figuring if I couldn’t stop myself from wrapping my pussy around him like a vice, at least I could try to make it more intense for the both of us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck, with you gripping me like that I’m not sure I’m going to last,” he groaned softly, straining as he moved his hips back and forth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cum in me then,” I begged. “Do it, cum in me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I arched my back and hip up to let him hit deeper and I tried to get myself to relax. He brought his head down to my neck, sucking on the skin again. His hand slipped between the two of us and I slammed my top jaw down onto my lip, trying to stop myself from crying out. I jerked around underneath him, thrashing wildly as I came almost instantly and he let out a cry of his own, spilling his hot seed deep into me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He dropped down to me, head resting on mine and sweat mixing. He lifted his knees off my thighs and I shifted my legs closed a little, easing the strain on my hips. I was so gonna be sore tomorrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to…” he said, jerking his head towards the door when he regained the ability to speak. I shook my head, reaching up to grip his forearm with my hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stay,” I said, nodding at him as I still gasped for breath. “Please stay with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As long as you want me,” he told me. “I’ll always be with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Baby, you're a wreck</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John POV</p><p>Warmth was spread around me, I was lightly encased by a delicate, gentle warmth all around but it spread and grew in intensity coiling eventually to an actively hot, almost burning peak at my centre. And where the warmth was, so too was a weight, which started as comfortable, it was a soft, relaxed weight which could be easily moved whereas in the areas where the warmth grew, the weight was heavier. Across my chest, in the corner of my neck and hooked around my right thigh. And felt all of this because I was awake. </p><p>What woke me was not the weight or the mildly uncomfortable warmth, it was the movement across all the places where the weight was at its strongest. It was the accompanying noises of distress. I groaned softly, willing myself to fight the sleep and open my eyes. After a few more seconds of listening to the whines and feeling the shifting of sheets I blinked awake, realising I’d fallen asleep in a bedroom that was not mine. I glanced over at the nightstand and saw the orange blinking of the standby light on the portable DVD player and remembered I’d stayed over after movie night. Which meant that the weight, the warmth and the whining was coming from my girlfriend. </p><p>I shifted, trying to sit up without waking her, I think I’d heard somewhere that you weren’t supposed to wake people from bad dreams. So I moved slowly, moving my wrist and arms to get feeling back into them as I came up with my game plan. I was covered in a sticky sheen of fresh sweat, but unlike the earlier activities where it would have been warranted, I was only covered in the places where her skin had made contact with mine. She was burning hot and sweaty, gasping and shaking as she was very desperately invested in something. I wish I knew what was going on in there.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she gasped, at first I thought she’s woken up and was apologising for waking me up but when more sobs and whimpers followed, I realized she was just talking in her sleep. </p><p>“It’s alright,” I tried, slowly moving a hand to her still naked back. I tried to rub gentle circles on it, a little thrown off by how wet it was with sweat. “I’m here. Everything’s going to be alright.”</p><p>“Perez,” she gasped. “Where is Parez?”</p><p>“He’s fine,” I told her. “He’s okay, he’s safe. You’re safe, everyone’s safe.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she repeated. “No, don’t.”</p><p>“Don’t what?” I asked. “It’s alright, Evelyn, you’re with me, John. You and Perez are alright, everyone is safe…”</p><p>“Forget about me, focus on him!” she cried out. “You don’t have enough time!”</p><p>This broke my heart, hearing a little of what she’d been through when her blackhawk had been shot down. I’d been shot down a couple of times, crashes were never good, but at least most of the times I’d come out unscathed. I remembered General O’Neill looking pretty worried when I’d flown him back to Cheyenne Mountain instead of continuing on with the rest of the tour. He’d been so distraught I’d wondered just what the trouble with his daughter had been. Here she was a little over a year later and I still didn’t know exactly what, but I knew enough. </p><p>“Leave me here,” she begged. “You have to get out.”</p><p>“Not without you,” I told her honestly. I leaned down to kiss the crown of her head and continued rubbing gentle circles on her skin, shushing her and telling her softly that she was safe. </p><p>Suddenly, she jerked up, looking around frantically as sweat dripped off her forehead. The cold air of the room hit her skin and everything that wasn’t under the blankets had a layer of goosebumps under the sheen of her perspiration. Her chest heaved as she gasped for breath and she looked down at me, figuring out where she was as she sat back on her knees. Now she was awake I could push myself up fully and sat back against the pillows. </p><p>“Are you alright?” I asked and she looked around one more time, confusion evident on her face. She looked back at me sadly and nodded. </p><p>“I’m okay,” she told me, but even in the dark I could see fresh tears on her face. </p><p>“Are you sure?” I asked. She nodded again, sighing and taking a moment to respond. </p><p>“Yeah,” she said. “Sorry, I was thinking about the accident before you came over last night, I had a dream about it… or memory… doesn’t matter. I’m okay.”</p><p>“I think maybe you should speak about this with…”</p><p>“I will,” she cut me off. “I’m going to bring it up with Heightmeyer tomorrow when I go see her.”</p><p>“Technically that’s today,” I pointed out and she shot me a harsh glare. </p><p>“I will slap you,” she told me and I chuckled. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>
  <em> “Captain O’Neill.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Captain O’Neill, please respond.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Captain O’Neill, can you hear me?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> My eyes stung as I tried to open them. The smoke was so thick, my lungs burned with every breath. The air around me was white hot and all I could see was oranges and reds. Someone was talking. How? Who? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Captain O’Neill!! Say something, if you can hear me, please respond!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Perez,” I croaked, the inside of my throat felt like I’d just drank a pint of broken glass. I let out a hacking cough, barely able to get a word out. “Where is Perez?!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Lieutenant Perez is with the others,” the voice said.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I tried to move but my arm was still pinned to the ground. I didn’t feel the burning anymore, not there. I tried to wiggle my fingers but felt no response. I could still see my left arm out of the corner of my eye, I could see my shoulder down to my elbow. The top of my forearm I could see was covered in dark red and black, a combination of charred flesh and ash. The rest? I couldn’t see my hand for the hot sheet of metal that had been pinning me to the floor of the blackhawk.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “O’Neill! Did you hear me?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I snapped out of my thoughts regarding my arm. The others were in the back, someone needed to get them out. There was too much debris in here, no real way in. I was separated from the others in the worst of the crash, my copilot whom I’d never even met before today was in pieces. I could see legs dangling limply above my head, untied laces inches from my face as his torso sat on the dash. I could see his face staring back at me from the floor beside his seat. His tour was about to finish. He was planning on retiring.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Captain O’Neill, are you still there?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m sorry!” I called.  “I’m so sorry!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “We’re coming in!” I heard and I shook from my position on the floor. It wasn’t safe in here. They couldn’t come in for a rescue, there was no feasible way to get me out. No. They needed to focus on Perez and the medics in the back.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No! Don’t!” I cried out, speaking was painful, yelling was agonizing. “Forget about me, focus on him! It’s not safe and you don’t have enough time. Go to the back and get the others out. You have to get to Perez!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Perez is with the others, we need to get you out, Captain,” the voice called. “If you can move, cover your face, we’re going to knock out the rest of the window.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What about Perez!” I screamed. “You have to get them out!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “They are out, Captain,” the voice called. “We got them out first, they’re already on another evac flight back to the closest hospital under our jurisdiction. It’s your turn, O’Neill, we’re getting you out of here.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “They got out?” I called, ignoring my body’s protests. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “We got them out, Captain, now it’s time to get you out,” they said. I watched as a spray of hot glass shards rained over me and the section of the helicopter I trapped in. The bounced off the floor with what was a barely audible clatter, some springing up and hitting me, burning my skin and singing the remains of my uniform. I was supposed to be covering my face, but, I was also supposed to be dead. I was supposed to be in pieces besides my copilot. The copilot I’d forgotten the name of, but I’d never forget the sight of. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I saw a new set of legs swing in overhead and boots drop down on the floor beside me. I followed them up to the combat engineer they were attached to who had a blanket in hand and was moving to squat beside me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Are you alright?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t risk yourself,” I told him. “It’s far too dangerous for you to be in here.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re letting all this smoke get to your head, Captain,” he said and covered me with the blanket. “I’m going to cut the side open, in through the metal now the window’s gone, let the medics in. Cover up, it’s about to get hotter.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Who are you?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m Sergeant Ramirez,” he told me and then pulled the blanket up to cover most of my face.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Technically, I outrank you,” I said from under the scratchy wool. “I can order you to get out.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No you can’t,” he chuckled, the sound of the saw blaring loud above the still running emergency alarms and blazing fire. “I don’t fall under your command. Rank doesn’t apply here, not when you’re the one I’m rescuing.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s too dangerous,” I assured him. “Please get yourself out.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’ll go,” he promised. “So long as I can take you with me, Ma’am.” </em>
</p><p>“Evelyn,” I heard and jumped back a bit, looking down I saw John staring at me worriedly. </p><p>“What?” I asked, and he sighed. </p><p>“I said come on, let’s get you showered and wash off all this sweat,” he told me. “The sheets are soaked through, you can’t go back to sleep in here.”</p><p>“Right,” I nodded. </p><p>“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked. </p><p>“I really need to stop making fun of combat engineers,” I told him and he laughed heartily. </p><p>“Come on,” he said, hands wrapping tightly around my thighs and lifting us both up off the bed. He put bare feet down onto the ground and walked a few feet away from the bed before he lowered me back down to the ground. My toes touched the cold surface and he held me steady until he was sure I wouldn’t tumble towards the ground. </p><p>I owed Ramirez my life, and yet, I’d been so angry at him at the time, for daring to risk his. There were people on this base, who would risk the same, John I knew would risk more. I didn’t like knowing that, not when I couldn’t offer the same. Not when I’d never now be able to make the choices necessary to keep them safe. I couldn’t anticipate what was coming, no matter how hard I tried and people were going to get hurt. John would get hurt. </p><p>He turned on the shower to a gentle, luke warm and helped me into the shower. He walked back, still stark naked, into the bedroom as I waited under the spray. I didn’t understand how I kept bouncing between bliss and melancholy, why I couldn’t get back to the state I’d been in when I’d first met John at that Air Force thing, where I’d been when I was busy terrorising Daniel when dad had bullied him into babysitting me when I was on base. Back when I was a stupid teenager and starting to get over Charlie. Except I’d never gotten over Charlie. Not really. </p><p>“Hey,” I heard and noticed John had come back into the bathroom. “You need help?”</p><p>“I,” I stared. “What if I can’t help you?”</p><p>“I’m okay, I don’t need any help,” he assured me, stepping into the shower beside me. He reached for the soap and started rubbing it onto a bath lilly. He brought his hands up to wrap around me and scrubbed over my back. </p><p>“What if one day you do?” </p><p>“I don’t need anything from you except what you can give,” he told me. “If you can’t help me, that is okay. I only need you, for as long as you can give that.”</p><p>“I don’t know what to do with this guilt,” I told him and he rested his head in the crook of my neck, lips brushing the juncture between it and my shoulder. He inhaled deeply, moving his lips to kiss softly behind my ear. </p><p>“Put it down,” he told me. He pulled back a little to look into my eyes. “Put it down. All the guilt, all the trauma you’re carrying. All the thoughts that you might not be strong enough, put them down. Stop carrying them everywhere with you. You don’t need them. It’s over, it’s all over.”</p><p>“I don’t know how,” I told him. </p><p>“I know, it won’t be easy,” he told me. “I haven’t, not completely. But you have to, or else you can’t have this. You can’t be you. And I need you to be here, to be you.”</p><p>“I want to,” I told him, throat tightening, feeling a lump burning only half as bad as it had during the crash, but still reminding me. “I want this, I want here, I want you. I want to not feel this way, but I don’t know how. I don’t know how.”</p><p>“You will,” he assured me. “You’re so brave, and so strong and I’m so proud of you. You’re here, and you’ve got this. You will do this. You will figure out how, but I need you to try.”</p><p>“I will,” I nodded and pushed forward, wrapping my arm and stump around him, clinging onto him in a desperate embrace. </p><p>Clean and fresh feeling, I sat on top of a towel John had laid out on the bathroom counter as he helped me get dried and dressed. He stood before me in his boxer briefs, messy black hair fluffed up and half dry, showing no signs of annoyance, no negative expression at all on his face. He wanted to be here, and didn’t care if I didn’t want him to have to do this for me. Didn’t want him to feel like he had to be here with me.</p><p>“I’m going to go and put the new sheets on,” he told me. “I pulled the old ones off before, so the mattress would air out a bit, you gonna be alright here? You need anything?”</p><p>“You,” I told him and he cocked his head in confusion. “Come here a moment,” I said, opening my arms out to him. His face softened and he stepped forward, enveloping me in his strong arms. I would give my life for John Sheppard. But most importantly, I would keep living for John Sheppard. I would fix myself, I would become whole again for John Sheppard. </p><p>He pulled his head back to look at me and I leaned forward, nose brushing against his to press our lips together. I kissed him with a desperate and needy kiss. I tried to tell him with one kiss of the lips how much he meant to me, how grateful I was and how I promised I would do whatever it took to make this work. After I spoke to Heightmeyer, if he said he wanted to go public again? I would let him. Whatever he wanted, I would give him. Even if what he wanted was me. </p><p>“I’m going to get better,” I told him. </p><p>“I know,” he said breathlessly. </p><p>“I’m here,” I told him. “You have me, you’ll always have me.”</p><p>“I know,” he said and passionately kissed me again. </p><p>In a flurry of desperate movement, my cotton shorts were pushed down around my knees and hips pressed hard to his. He had a firm grasp on one of my hips while the other cradled my back. I had my fingers knotted in the hair at the base of his neck while he mouthed along my neck. He rocked me against the sink and we fulfilled the moment's yearning requirements, trying to heal the pain I carried with an intimate display of affection. </p><p>The tension lifted off the air, my legs shook either side of him and I found myself silently crying as we skyrocketed up to a mountain peak and crashed down over the other side. It was quick, but said a thousand words. He pulled away from my neck and kissed me hungrily until my breathing evened out and I could feel his heart rate settled.</p><p>“I’m gonna go fix those sheets,” he told me eventually, moving to do what he’d said he was going to when I’d realized I needed to feel him. When I needed a physical connection to solidify the emotional one we were forging. </p><p>I eventually dropped down off the counter, shaky legs walking over to the toilet, relieving myself and resting my head in my hands. I did not expect this when I signed up for the Atlantis Expedition.  But even after everything, I wouldn’t take it back. I wouldn’t undo it.</p><p>I was up and washing my hands when John came back in to check on me and tell me he’d made the bed back up, to ask if I wanted to stay here tonight, if I wanted him to stay with me. I did, I told him as much, just as I had earlier before that awful memory came back to torment me. </p><p>Comfortably, I lay down on top of John, chin tucked over his shoulder as my face rested in the pillow, his arm wrapped around my waist and our legs intertwined. We always seemed to fit together, I never woke up wishing to put space between us, never felt limbs go numb or pins and needles shoot up my extremities. I was made to fit into John and he was made to fit into me.</p><hr/><p>Sunlight steamed in the windows, cold air surrounded us, the only protection from daybreak was the warmth beneath the blankets. John’s arm was still firmly, protectively wrapped around my waist and his breathing was still steady. His eyes rested gently shut and his face was relaxed, all the worries it held were absent and so too was the laid back smile he used to hide them. </p><p>I leaned down to press a soft kiss to his plush lips and he moaned, slowly kissing back. His eyes were closed but I could tell he was awake by the way his arms moved over me. When he pulled back for air he opened his lids to look up at me and smile softly. He pushed up to peck the corner of my mouth, and followed a gentle rhythm to littler the rest of my face with kisses. </p><p>“Morning,” I said softly. </p><p>“Morning,” he replied, reaching up to push my bangs behind my ear. </p><p>“How do you hide how exhausted you must be?” I asked and he scoffed. </p><p>“It takes years of practice,” he told me. “You’ll have to catch up.” There was a moment of silence before he pressed his lips into a thin line, lookin like he wanted to ask something but wasn’t sure how. “You don’t look great,” he told me and I raised an eyebrow at him. “I mean it,” he told me. His fingertips traced from my ear to my cheekbone and up to the bags under my eyes.  </p><p>“John,” I said and he shook his head. </p><p>“I mean it, you’re a wreck,” he said. “You need to get some more sleep. You've been pushing yourself too hard again. You threw yourself into your work to avoid me, you were out in that storm till the late hours and then you hunted and killed a Wraith. Not to mention fighting Ronon and all the damn sex we’ve been having.”</p><p>“Are you complaining?” I asked, scoffing. </p><p>“Don’t get me wrong, your impressive libido is a wonderful addition to this relationship, one which I plan on encouraging through it’s duration,” he told me. “But the physical exertion isn’t helping the situation any. Ignoring the sex, Evelyn you’re exhausted, it’s starting to show.”</p><p>“What are you saying?” I asked. </p><p>“I want you to take the day off,” he told me. “I’m going to get Beckett to take you off duty today, say you need one more day to recover after the storm and the Wraith, he’s not going to argue since he wanted that anyway. You can come back on duty tomorrow if you want but I need you to get some sleep. I want you to get some more hours of rest in and talk to Heightmeyer.”</p><p>“Fine,” I sighed. “I already scheduled an appointment with her yesterday before you came over, it’s for later this afternoon. And if you really want me to get more sleep then fine, I can’t bear another lecture from the rest of the expedition. Everyone seems to want to put in their two cents on that one.”</p><p>“Everyone wants to see you safe, is that so wrong?” he replied. </p><p>“No,” I sighed. “I just hate the idea of the team trying to force me into a bedtime.”</p><p>“Look after yourself and they won’t need to,” he pointed out and I scowled. </p><p>“Nobody likes you,” I told him and he chuckled. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Caught up in playing God</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I was tucked up in bed, blankets under my chin as I sat under the pillows and watched John wander around my bedroom, getting ready for the day. I smiled to myself as I watched, thinking a little about how our lives could be in future, when we didn’t have to hide or sneak around. When we could share the same space as a couple. Maybe he was right, and it would be alright. </p><p>“What are you smiling about?” John asked, standing at the foot of the bed, looking amused. </p><p>“Just..” I started, jerking up in shock when the door chimes started going off. </p><p>“Hey! Evelyn! Let me in!” I heard from outside the door. </p><p>“McKay,” I muttered. </p><p>“Just McKay? That doesn’t seem amusing,” John joked, before looking back at the door with a scowl. I rolled my eyes and he looked back at me, waiting for an explanation as to why McKay was knocking at my door this early in the morning but I had nothing to offer. I shrugged. </p><p>“Don’t look at me, I don’t know why he’s here,” I said. </p><p>“Well get rid of him, lest you want to explain why I’m here,” John said. </p><p>“Shit,” I swore as Rodney rang the chimes again. If I did go answer the door, there’s no way Rodney would just stand in the doorway like he did at Johns, now he just came inside when I opened the door, which, ordinarily wasn’t a problem.</p><p>“You’re gonna have to disappear,” I told him. </p><p>“Disappear? What do you want me to do, hide under the bed?” John indignantly replied in a hushed whisper. “This isn’t highschool, he’s not your dad! Why do I have to hide?”</p><p>“Damn it John, just walk into the bathroom, it’s not like he’s going to try and use it!” I argued, ignoring his annoyance. </p><p>“Evelyn, are you in there?” McKay yelled again and I rolled my eyes at John who was standing at the foot of my bed with his arms crossed. I made shoo-ing gestures and he sighed agitatedly. </p><p>“Fine,” he said, doing his equivalent of a hairflip and stalking out of the room. I held in a chuckle and then looked over to the door where the chimes were going off again. </p><p>“Door’s open,” I called out and instantly it whooshed open and Rodney rushed inside, not looking up from his tablet as he typed away. </p><p>“Finally,” he huffed. “I came to see if now was a better time to…” he paused, looking up to find me still in bed wearing a tank top and tucked under the sheets. “Are you sick or something? You look like a wreck.”</p><p>“I’m fine,” I shook my head. </p><p>“Forgive me, I’d check if you had a temperature but if you are sick, I don’t wanna catch it,” he babbled awkwardly as he stepped back and forth on foot to foot, trying to decide how close he wanted to get. </p><p>“What’re you here for again?” I prompted. </p><p>“Right, you didn’t wanna go over the Dart stuff last night because of Ronon but I figured today would be better if you’re not, you know, dying…” he said and I scoffed. </p><p>“I’m not dying,” I rolled my eyes at him as well. </p><p>“McKay, I thought I heard you,” I heard John say and I looked up and over at the bathroom door. He was walking towards me with a glass of water in hand, now fully ready for work. He leaned down and handed it to me and I took it from him, taking a sip and then putting it on my nightstand. </p><p>“Sheppard, what are you doing here?” Rodney asked. </p><p>“Came to check on Evelyn after last night,” he said and Rodney nodded. “She looked a little off so I’m making her take the day off, Beckett’s going to swing by later and assess her.”</p><p>“He is?” I asked and John grinned cheekily at me. </p><p>“Yeah, I just radioed him,” he said and I shot him a sharp look. </p><p>“I’ll uh.. wait till you’re back in the lab to go over this stuff with you then,” he said and awkwardly waddled around for a moment before excusing himself and leaving. John offered me a wink before following Rodney out, unable to give me his customary kiss goodbye with the other scientist in the room.</p><p>I flopped back down on the bed, sinking into the pillows and closing my eyes. I was actually pretty tired. The extra sleep couldn’t hurt… I rolled over onto my face, feeling the comforting warmth of the blankets sitting on my back mimicking a gentle hug and the cool touch of the pillow under my face. It was the perfect combination for a restful night's sleep. Something I was sorely lacking. Ordinarily I’d have gotten that with John, had my troubled past not come back to haunt me. Still, I was happy to have had him with me, even though it did involve him seeing me at my worst. </p><p>Next time I really had a conscious thought was when I was cursing the door chimes for going off again and then realising I’d not only fallen asleep but I should be answering that. I groaned, pushing myself up. </p><p>“It’s open,” I croaked and the door whooshed open and I heard the gentle voice of Carson padding over to me as I settled myself to sit by the pillows. </p><p>“Hiya love,” he greeted. “Aye, John’s right, you do look like a wreck.”</p><p>“I’m so glad he’s spoken so fondly of me,” I muttered and he smiled. </p><p>“Have you been sleeping?” Beckett asked, shooting me a disapproving look and presumably thinking it was another bout of my insomnia episodes. </p><p>“I have actually,” I replied. “Maybe not as much as is usually necessary but I have been putting myself down every night. Actually I... “ I sighed. “I’ve been having issues regarding my arm.”</p><p>“Oh? I can take a look if you like, I might be able to prescribe you something if it’s causing you pain,” he told me and I shook my head. </p><p>“No, it’s more about how I came to lose it,” I told him. “Honestly I, since the thing with the Wraith recently.. I’m going to see Heightmeyer later today but I’ve been feeling a lot of well actually just a lot. And it’s been whirling around in my head and so last night I had a flashback in the shower and then a dream about it last night.”</p><p>“I see, so you’re having PTSD related flashbacks while you’re sleeping, how many?” he asked. </p><p>“It’s only happened the once, but once is enough,” I told him and he nodded. </p><p>“Quite right,” he agreed. “It’s good to get ahead of these things. People think that you have to be actually falling apart before you can get help but even something minor, something small like reliving a memory, if you can talk about it to prevent it from becoming something long term, it’s worth it.”</p><p>“I… Beckett I want to.. John and I have been talking about going public and I know I’m not ready, but I think it’s worth mentioning to Heightmeyer,” I said. “But I…”</p><p>“You’re feeling conflicted,” he nodded. “I understand, but it’s really not the issue you’re presenting it as. And Kate will be able to keep it confidential so long as it’s no threat to anyone’s safety. I think you should be as honest and open as you can when you go to your appointment today.”</p><p>“Beckett,” I said, biting my lip and glancing away for a moment. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Sorry?” he asked, flabbergasted. “Whatever for?”</p><p>“I’m sorry that you had to find out the way that you did. I wanted to come to you and tell you as a friend when we were ready and that the reason we hadn’t told you wasn’t because we didn’t trust you, I just didn’t want anyone knowing yet. So I’m sorry you found out because of medical reasons and not as a friend, which you are.”</p><p>“I know,” he scoffed, shaking his head. “You don’t have to apologise for something like that.”</p><p>“Alright,” I nodded. “Just so you know.”</p><p>“Well consider me told,” he smiled warmly at me. “I’ll make myself scarce so you can grab some more sleep and let me know if Kate wants me to prescribe you anything to help you sleep.”</p><p>“I will,” I nodded and he pushed himself up, headed for the door again.</p><hr/><p>I knocked on the door to Heightmeyer’s office before pushing myself through the door, having heard no noise on the other side of the door when I knocked, I didn’t bother waiting for a response. She looked up from her notepad when I walked over to join her in the comfy seats and smiled warmly at me. </p><p>“I’m surprised to see you back so soon, Evelyn,” she commented. “Perhaps presumptuous of me, but I thought you’d be like your father and only come when there was no other option.”</p><p>“Yeah but he’s old world,” I shrugged. “My brother died when I was young and then my parents divorced, so I was getting counseling from a young age and just kind of got used to it. It’s like when you get an injury, you go to the doctor. It’s the same when you go see a psych. If you’ve got something going on upstairs, you ask for a band aid and then you move on to stitching the wound closed.”</p><p>“Yes but unfortunately more often than not, people only get as far as the bandaid,” she responded, lips pressed into a thin line as she sat back in her white chair. I shrugged, offering her little more than a ‘what can you do’ stare. “Enough of that, what can I do for you today, Evelyn?”</p><p>“I’ve got a couple of them for you, big ones, but they tie in together,” I told her. “You want me to start with one or should I run through a summary?”</p><p>“Why don’t you start talking and we see where that takes us?” she asked. “Or would you like more structure?” </p><p>“No,” I shook my head with a fond smile. “I’m getting kind of used to the uh, very loose structure here.”</p><p>“That’s good, things can kind of be unpredictable out here in the Pegasus,” Heightmeyer commented and I scoffed. </p><p>“That’s putting it mildly,” I said and leaned back on my left elbow, stump sitting on the white leather. I brought my hand up to rub behind my neck. “That’s actually part of the reason I’m here. I uh, John thinks I try too hard to predict everything and I’m letting myself get caught up in.. well.. he never said as much but, trying to play god.”</p><p>“And you disagree?” Heightmeyer asked and I shook my head. </p><p>“No actually I think he’s right,” I replied. “My first issue is that I was carrying a lot of guilt over team injuries. I blamed myself for him getting injured with the Ellia thing and also with the more recent near miss with the Wraith. And part of that is that I was involved and I’m blaming myself for the calls I made during that time, and the other part is that I care for him, so it’s especially unsettling.”</p><p>“You care for him as in?”</p><p>“We’re dating,” I said and then exhaled deeply. Admitting so felt massive. “Sorry, to actually say the words out loud. It’s a new thing, barely even started, but I wasn’t really sure where it was going and that I didn’t want it public knowledge and it might not even pan out but I spoke to Beckett about earlier, and whether or not I should bring it up during our session today but if I don’t it’s not really giving you the full picture…”</p><p>“Slow down,” Heightmeyer told me. </p><p>“Sorry,” I took a deep breath. </p><p>“Okay, so did these feelings of guilt and need for uh, I guess control, start before or after you and John started dating?”</p><p>“I’m not too sure actually,” I replied honestly. “Because we’d been meeting up to chat and to have a beer after missions before the Ellia thing and we ended up having to share a room at the tavern, and there was only one bed…”</p><p>“There was only one bed,” Heightmeyer nodded. </p><p>“But we didn’t actually sleep together until we got back,” I continued. “And honestly I thought it was just a one off, a release to the tension we’d built up after a particularly difficult mission. But then it wasn’t and he kept still wanting to spend time with me and I was with him during his transition to the Iratus bug hybrid and all this toing and froing. And while I feel a certain level of responsibility for the calls he makes because he usually has to make them after I’ve done something, I think I’ve always had control issues.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Heightmeyer asked, uncrossing her legs and switching to the other. I slumped back against my backrest, still leaning on my elbow as I thought about it. I crossed my own legs and bobbed the one on top. </p><p>“Charlie,” I sighed. “I know I’m supposed to be working on letting it go, and I know rationally there was no way I could ever have known that my skipping out on our plans would have worked out the way that they did, but I still feel like if I’d made a different call it wouldn’t have happened. And when I went on that mission on my day off to help Perez, my Lieutenant, part of me went to make sure everything went right. And then it didn’t.”</p><p>“So it looks like your feelings towards John aren’t the cause of your control issues,” Heightmeyer said, scribbling something else down on her notepad. “Is your Blackhawk crash still weighing heavily on you?”</p><p>“Not so much,” I shook my head. “Grief was once described to me as being like a basketball in a shoebox and while the pain is so big it touches the sides and you feel it constantly eventually it’ll shrink and it won’t be a basketball in a shoe box, it’ll be a tennis ball eventually a marble. It won’t go away, not permanently because occasionally the ball will touch the sides of the shoebox  but it will become easier. So while I think about the crash, when I’m angry about my arm, it’s not like a basketball anymore.”</p><p>“That’s good,” she praised, nodding along with what I was saying. “Have you been feeling like the tennis ball is touching the sides of  your shoebox lately?” I nodded.</p><p>“After the incident with the Wraith I felt guilty John got hurt and went to train with Ronon, he was concerned for me, that I was pushing myself so hard and pushing him away. And because I was so hyper focused on what I was doing I didn’t really notice that I was hurting him, his concern for me became pain for him, and by not involving him it only made things harder. And then it reminded me of a similar situation with my dad after the crash.”</p><p>“Tell me more about that, you lived with him before coming out here, didn’t you?” she asked and I huffed, blowing some of my bangs out of my face. I crossed my arms over my chest, resting my hand on my stump. </p><p>“I’d moved out, but I had to move back in with him after my arm,” I explained. “It was hard on him. My brother died, he divorced my mom, she was in a car accident shortly after, I was all he had left. And I almost died too, in fact I begged for it at first. When the rescuers came in I kept trying to persuade them to get the others out first, that they were more important, when they told me the others were already safe, I kept trying to bargain with them to save themselves, that being in the fire with me was only going to get them killed.”</p><p>“We’ve talked about in previous sessions about your acceptance of death in situations like that, do you think by that point you’d already accepted your fate or what you thought your fate was going to be?”</p><p>“Absolutely, and I couldn’t cope with the fact that I was the one piloting the helicopter. I could see my copilot hanging above me, pieces of him on the floor. I didn’t want anyone else to end up the same,” I explained and she nodded, a little empathy slipping through on her face. “Don’t get me wrong, you don’t need to be concerned about this affecting my job here. I went through plenty of counselling in order to be able to get back into active or what is considered active duty for someone in my situation. But I can’t pretend it didn’t affect me or I never saw that.”</p><p>“No,” Heightmeyer confirmed, shaking her head. “So tell me more about what living with your father was like after the accident.” </p><p>“He took all of his leave he’d saved up. It’s not like he was really planning on using it, he almost refused to take it most of the time. He liked to be in the thick of it, despite what he says. But when I came back he couldn’t bear to leave me alone in the state I was in, he was worried even though he didn’t lose me, he would,” I explained. “Admittedly I don’t know if he would have or not, but I know I was very low. It’s rough losing any limb but the one I’d lost was my dominant hand. And so I couldn’t even do my fallback career if I left the Air Force. And I loved flying. So I didn’t want to leave. I had to fight tooth and nail to stay and at first they had me doing dumb shit at SGC command because my base wouldn’t take me back. It was active combat so I understand but that killed me.” </p><p>“Tell me more about your low point,” she said and I chewed my lip. Surely this was counterintuitive. I’d already relived a lot yesterday. </p><p>“They don’t tell you what getting used to prosthetics is like, not really,” I explained. “My first complaint was that it was like swinging around a log on my arm. I had no real control over my movement anymore. I had no muscles, no ligaments, no fingers to flex, to grip. Nothing. But then the more I wore it the more it irritated the skin on my arm. I was okay at first, it was like a state of shock. But once my skin started to blister, once I started to bleed, I started to wonder what it was all for. Why did I survive everything that I did for this? It was a shell of a life. I had nothing. I didn’t even have my independence. I couldn’t tie my hair up. I could barely wash and dress myself. Several times my dad had to kick down the bathroom door as I sat sobbing on the floor of the tub, broken hair ties everywhere and smashed toiletries. It got to the point he didn’t put a lock back on. At one point it was a beaded curtain rather than a real door.”</p><p>“A beaded curtain?” Heightmeyer raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“He had one from his college days and didn’t want to go buy a shower curtain or drapes when he already had to put up a new door jam and everything..” I explained. “He also had to take the lock of my bedroom door, he was always afraid that when the sobbing stopped something worse would come. It nearly did once, but the fact that he used to sit outside my door every day, all day, every night. He’d just wait when I wouldn’t let him in, he'd wait and listen to every cry, every sniffle, every gasp for breath when it got too much and I couldn’t breathe anymore. I realised that as painful as everything was for me, he felt it too. He always did. When I was a kid and I scraped my knee, when I got pushed in the dirt by some boy, he felt all of it. And I couldn’t bear being the cause of his pain. So I tried to fix myself, started going to see the private counsellor I’d been seeing when I was younger and started talking. He was all I had and I’m all he has.”</p><p>“Would you say this fear of being the cause of your father’s suffering is the same feeling you had in the Blackhawk crash? The one you have when John gets injured?” She asked and I nodded. “I see.”</p><p>“It bothers me that now I keep experiencing shock, rather than acceptance,” I said. </p><p>“How so?”</p><p>“When the Wraith was coming for John, when it came for me, it wasn’t like what happened on Olesia, I didn’t bow on my knees and wait for death. I froze at first. I wanted fight. That was the reaction I wanted. Yeah I eventually bit the Wraith, yeah I got him, but I need more.”</p><p>“What you need is to stop trying to control your reactions in situations you can’t predict,” Heightmeyer told me. I recoiled. I was always told to act, not react. So her telling me not to worry about my reactions really threw me. “While trying to plan ahead and look at the bigger picture is good, John is right, obsessing over it to work out every single possibility, planning contingency after contingency and allowing yourself to get caught in that moment rather that experiencing life isn’t healthy. You need to let go.”</p><p>“Which is why I came here,” I pointed out and she chuckled.</p><hr/><p>John POV</p><p>I rolled my shoulders, a little stiff after my training with Teyla earlier. I was kind of annoyed I was back at work today rather than having another day off. Not that yesterday was much of a day off considering I had to come in and deal with the Genii. I waved my hand over the lock and my door whoshed open and I was about ready to lay down and unwind for a little while. Stepping inside I raised a brow, looks like someone had the same idea. I spotted Evelyn laying face down in the pillows, wearing only red lacy panties and one of my t-shirts. A small smile crept across my face. I looked over at the nightstand and there was a small stack of clothing sitting on top of it. </p><p>“Hey,” I greeted and was met with a semi-annoyed groan. I chuckled and walked over closer, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. I ran my hand up her spine and she huffed, pushing up on her elbows. </p><p>“How’d your visit with Heightmeyer go?” I asked and she rubbed her face with her hand. </p><p>“Mixed bag,” she shrugged. I rubbed soft circles in the dip of her back, as her calves were up in the air behind her, swinging lightly. “She suggested I take some time off of Active Duty. She’s not benching me completely, I can even still go on away missions but no more combat for a while. How I’m going to avoid that out here I’ll never know.”</p><p>“Is that the bad news?” I asked and she shrugged. </p><p>“Depends on how you look at it,” she replied. “It’s not ideal, but I don’t disagree. She also only made a recommendation, she’s not making me do anything. I also might have mentioned I was seeing you…”</p><p>“Oh?” I raised a brow, pleased but slightly confused. She’d said herself she didn’t want to go public. </p><p>“Yeah I asked Beckett if he thought I should mention it while I was seeing her,” she told me. “And she’s agreed to keep it between doctor/patient but it felt kinda good to say…”</p><p>“Yeah?” I grinned excitedly and she nodded over her shoulder at me. “Does this mean..”</p><p>“Slow down speed racer,” she cut me off and I held in a sigh. “I’m coming around to the idea, but we gotta do this slow, like we agreed. Beckett knows, Heightmeyer knows and Weir at least knows you might like me. That’s enough for me for now. We’ll work on more later.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” I agreed. If she was telling Heightmeyer on her own, she’d eventually come around to the idea and start telling people without even thinking. I just had to be patient. Patience, John, patience. “On to my next question,” I said and brought my other hand up to finger the pile of clothes. “What’s all this?”</p><p>“You made a good point about us sneaking around and wearing the same clothes all the time,” she shrugged again. “So I figured I’d drop a spare set of civvies and a spare uniform off here so if I happened to spend the night on occasion, I’d have a backup.”</p><p>“Clever,” I told her and she winked at me. “You gonna take some of mine back to your room?” she nodded and me and I smiled again. “Last question.”</p><p>“What?” she asked. </p><p>“What brings you to my humble abode?” I asked and she rolled her eyes. </p><p>“I wanted to see you,” she told me, pushing up off the bed completely to sit back on her knees. </p><p>She leaned up to kiss me softly and I held her close, deepening it as she locked lips with me. I played with the hem of her t-shirt, or rather mine, and she shifted so she had a thigh either side of my knees. My hands caressed the warm soft part of her belly, fingers drawing soft patterns on the surprisingly unmarred skin. I slowly lowered her down to the bed and kept kissing her slow and lazily. This was one of the best parts of our relationship, the slow, lazy sunday kisses. Eventually the kisses tapered off to light pecks and lips brushing against skin. She wrapped her arms and legs around me in a binding hug before relaxing down onto the mattress. I lowered my head to rest on her chest and her fingers quickly found my hair. I could lay like this forever. </p><p>Evelyn POV</p><p>I felt John shift up off my chest and scoot down a little, the hands he still had under the shirt of his I’d borrowed, roamed over my skin, lifting the fabric up to my breast bone. With his head now at my ribcage, I felt his lips make contact with my ticklish centre. I was torn between giggling at the sensation and sending him a warning glare, it was daylight hours and all his neighbours were home and definitely awake. He nipped occasionally at the skin over my abdomen, but focused mostly on leaving wet, sloppy kisses everywhere he could get at. He sucked a mouth sized, dark purple mark on my hip and little hickies all around it before moving to the other side to do the same. I could feel my heart racing as I attempted to resist. Who was I kidding, I wanted to do this, and to hell with his neighbours, I didn’t know them anyway. His teeth pulled at the waistband of my panties and I heard the elastic <em> ping, </em>jolting upwards as a knee jerk reaction. </p><p>“John,” I said, fingers tugging a little tighter at his dark roots. He glanced up at me, my cheeks and chest burned a deep red as I stared down at him. I thought I’d be tired of him by now, just as I had everyone else I’d had between my thighs. But not him. He made me feel things, sexy things.</p><p>“Something the matter?” he asked and I shook my head. </p><p>“No,” I breathed. </p><p>“Well alright then,” he said, satisfied the situation was settled. His fingertips hooked into my panties, pulling them off my hips and down my legs mouth following their path. His tongue seemed to write in cursive across my thighs before it made contact with their apex. I shuddered instantly. I lay my head back against the pillows as I felt him lazily lap at my folds. Closing my eyes as my skin lightly tingled and the feeling slowly grew, I let my mind wander back to our first night. With more conscious thought I was starting to remember more and more from that drunken night back in Ohio.</p><p>
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<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Inconceivable</h2></a>
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    <p>Evelyn POV</p><p>My body felt hot, I was burning all over. Something was building inside me and pressing myself hard into the plush surface that lay beneath me, I felt it burst. A hot white heat flooded my system and I let out a muffled squeal, shaking all over as I came hard on John’s face. He’d reached up about an hour ago to stuff my panties in my mouth, when we’d established after the first orgasm, that I was completely unable to keep quiet. It’s not like he ever made it easy, but today it felt like he was specifically trying to let the world hear what he could do to me. I don’t know what prompted John’s craving for pussy, but I would happily oblige. </p><p>To combat the overstimulation, his mouth moved back to my thighs, which were now littered with little purple marks. He’d been moving back and forth between my slick heat and my plush thighs all afternoon where he alternated between nipping at the skin and leaving wet, open mouthed kisses all over. My chest heaved, and I was covered in a heavy flush. Despite having done absolutely zero work here, I found myself soaked in sweat. Beads of it dribbled down between my breasts, my back was sticky with it and my soft tummy was coated in a sheet of it. Even my hand occupying his dark roots was wet and leaving sweat behind in his hair. Having to put my metaphorical foot down, I spat the red fabric out of my mouth, and beside my head onto the pillow. </p><p>"John <em> please, </em>" I whined, feeling his mouth return to my mound yet again. I’d only come by his place for a nap and maybe a cuddle. Should have known better than to wear his favourite pair of my panties. Definitely should not have wrapped myself up in his, recently worn and still smelling of him, t-shirt in his absence. </p><p>"You need something, gorgeous?" he said, looking up with a smug expression. My brow furrowed to display the absolute <em> agony </em> and bliss I was experiencing. Funny how often pleasure and pain came together.</p><p>"You," I gasped, rocking my hips forward towards him despite knowing I could not take another ride on his face, not for a second longer. "I need you."</p><p>"But I’m right here," he replied nonchalantly, shaking his head as if that much was obvious. I wanted to smack him. John definitely had a hidden sadistic streak and I was experiencing it at full force. I could not take his mischievous attitude right now. </p><p>"Yes, you are,” I replied bitterly. I scowled at him. “but I’d much prefer your favourite extremity <em> stuffed </em> deep inside me.” He chuckled, seeming amused at my annoyance. Damn him and his teasing.</p><p>"As you wish," he said and I rolled my eyes. Damn him. He climbed up the bed, work slacks already unzipped as he’d had to relieve the pressure earlier. At least I wasn’t the only one suffering, although the pain was not evenly distributed. He tugged his slacks down just enough to free his rock hard erection and keep them out of the way. He easily pushed past my soaking folds and bounced his hips backwards and forwards into mine. There was no teasing nature in this rhythm, just a steady, rough pace, and it was electric. </p><p>"How’s that, Princess?" he asked, I wanted to roll my eyes again. He knew exactly what it was.</p><p>"Inconceivable," I said with a gasp and he snorted. I might be contemplating a quick death, but I could still be funny. He bottomed out near completely and I whined, before I felt him stuffing my panties back in my mouth. He snapped his hips forward again and shrieked into my makeshift gag. </p><p>"As witty as you are, darling, you’re going to have to be quiet or our secret’s going to be out," he told me and I screwed my eyes shut. I whined out desperately, tears pricking at the sides of my eyes as I held them tightly closed. He just kept thrusting as he spoke, voice unwavering or showing any sign of struggle. </p><p>My walls clamped around him, I felt every ridge, every vein, as he dragged his member out of me. Pushing back in, I felt them all again. There was something about the lace clenched between my teeth that made this all the hotter, and it was even harder to keep quiet. Even if that was the opposite of their intended effect. I bit down harder on the elastic. There was a cruel force out in the universe intent on punishing me for the things I enjoyed, and I loved it.</p><p>Legs trembling, I let out a muffled moan. I had a distinct feeling this was all some elaborate plot of John’s to get me to publicly admit we were dating. It was a good one. How better than to be caught in the act? I could be screaming bloody murder, Ronon or Teyla looking for him would hear and demand McKay override the door controls and they’d burst in only to find me unharmed and begging John to relent and just cum in me. And if he did, I don’t think I’d mind the audience. I’d be too wrapped up in begging my soul to come back from ascension.</p><p>I could barely keep my cries at bay, letting out little whines with every breath. A hand came up to grip my jaw and the top of my throat and I let out a long moan beneath him, looking up at him desperately. Fuck. I was learning so much about myself today, and while Atlantis was an expedition for discovery, this wasn’t quite what the big wigs back at Cheyenne had in mind. </p><p>John slipped his other hand between us and I shook my head at him. No, not <em> another </em>one. I couldn’t take it. I was going to die. But hey, what a way to go. </p><p>My legs shook around him and I came hard, squirting all over him. Unsurprising, after everything I’d been through. He let out a deep groan, not seeming to mind both he and his sheets were covered in my sticky, clear fluid. Good job he’d made sure to have his slacks pushed down out of the way, as his neatly trimmed pubic hair was glistening now with my ejaculate, as were his lower abs and down to his thighs. He leaned down to litter kisses all over my face, seeing as he no longer had access to my mouth, it was his only option. </p><p>Slamming his hips into mine over and over again, I could feel him start to get close, <em> finally. </em>I reached between us, intent on taking things into my own hands, literally. Fingers slipping behind his rock hard cock, I massaged his sacks gently. He stuttered in his movements and hit me harder, ready to burst. Good. Your turn to suffer, John. </p><p>He raised an eyebrow at my smug expression and took the hand he had been using to circle my clit and wrapped it tightly around my wrist. Pulling it away from his funbags, he pinned it above my head and hard into the firm mattress. His other hand kept his tight grip on my throat and jaw sending euphoric waves of oxygen reduced pleasure straight to my brain.</p><p>I moaned, just about ready to cum again. Already.With every orgasm they got closer together and easier to build. I might actually die here. The first had been slow and lazily building, just like the Sunday afternoon style fucking we’d practically perfected. It was soft, sweet. This was something else. This was bullying, I’m sure.</p><p>He slammed into me with bruising force and I almost choked on my panties. Clenching hard around him, feeling the veins and ridges of his cock dragging against my spongy inner walls, I cried out. He hissed and then spurted ropes of cum into me, the motion of him riding out his orgasm sending me into overdrive, cumming hard and reeling from the aftershocks. </p><p>He dropped down on top of me, panting into the crook of my neck. I could feel the sweat on his brow, the half dry cum on his chin and all the mixing fluids between us. He stayed still on top of me for a long moment before reaching up to pull the panties out of my mouth. </p><p>"You okay?" he said softly. He gazed down at me seriously, genuine concern for my well being written all over his face. How could I not adore this man?</p><p>"Fuck, yes," I gasped, nodding frantically. As much as I mentally complained about the torturous nature of our fucking, I loved it. "John, that was so hot," I told him. "Fuck."</p><p>"Yeah? You like that?" he chuckled tiredly. "Looks like this old man still has it."</p><p>I rolled my eyes. "You’re barely 11 years older than me, drama queen. You’re not that old," I sank down further into the pillows, feeling fatigue pull me closer to a well earned nap. "Now come here," I demanded, using my hand to pull him down into a searing kiss. </p><p>"You mind if I stay here for a little while?" he asked, fingers stroking at my side. I shook my head.</p><p>"It’s your room," I laughed breathily. </p><p>"No I mean.." he said, pausing. <em> Oh. </em> I shook my head again. That was fine. Better than fine. Kinda hot actually.</p><p>"I like you here," I replied honestly. He shifted us so he was no longer pressing all his weight on me, moving my hips slightly and laid down on his side. He rested his head on my naked breasts with his cock was still buried deep inside me. Everything about this moment was tender and <em> delicious </em>.  </p><p>A couple hours went by of light dozing, mostly silent contemplation. Heavy thoughts lay on my mind. I really was sure John was the one I wanted, I knew that, but that was the problem. I wanted him so bad, more than anything in the world. I couldn’t cope with the possibility of being told I couldn’t have him. That wasn’t an option. Not anymore. And going back to Earth? That was not an option at all. We were both needed out here. This was where we belonged. This was our home. </p><p>I shifted to look down at my sleeping beau, his dark messy hair was all I could see for my breasts being in the way. I smiled softly and reached down to run my fingers gently through his hair, playing with the locks. He stirred slightly and muttered a tired "can I help you?" </p><p>"I don’t know, can you?" I teased and clenched the muscles I had wrapped around him. It was my turn to be cheeky.</p><p>"All that and you’re still not satisfied?" he scoffed and propped himself above me. I smirked at him.</p><p>"Oh believe me, I was plenty satisfied," I told him, shifting my hips up and down a bit. "But I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of you John Sheppard."</p><p>"Well that’s nice to hear," he said wryly, doing his signature head bobbing from side to side, before leaning down to kiss me deeply. "Should I help you out then?"</p><p>"It would be the right thing to do," I shrugged. "And that seems to be your thing, always looking out for others."</p><p>"Is that so?" he asked. I eagerly agreed. </p><p>"It’s inconceivable," I replied, drawing back to our earlier joke and he laughed </p><p>"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means," he countered and I giggled beneath him. </p><p>A warmth spread throughout me and I felt my mind drawing back to that night at the bar. I hadn’t wanted to go to that stupid party the Air Force had thrown in Dayton just by  Wright-Patt, but my dad had insisted it was a good opportunity for networking and could do some important things for my future. I doubt this was what he’d intended. If I hadn’t’ve gone, I wondered if I’d be in this position with John. I was hard to imagine life without him now. That night...</p><p>
  <em> Knees and elbows pressed into the mattress, I gripped the sheets my hips were currently pressed into. One of the Major’s hands pressed hard into the curve of my spine, holding me firm to the bed and the other wrapped in my hair, fingers knotting tightly in the strands and tugging my head roughly back. His teeth scraped along the juncture between my shoulder and neck and I cried out, unable to keep my moans at bay. He didn’t seem to mind the screams. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Promptly after sucking my soul out through my pussy, he’d flipped us and had me on my knees below him. And so here I sat, obeying his every command and voicing the call of my people. He thrust deep and hard into me, seemingly intent on taking all the frustrations he had from his recent divorce out on me. And I was intent on letting him. I ached deep inside and it was all down to him. I could feel his hips bouncing off my ass and he growled out at the sound I made when he hit my spot. My legs shook, struggling to support us both as he rode me to Valhalla and back. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Getting drunk and left behind at a bar in Ohio? Yeah, second best decision I’d ever made. The best? Definitely the decision to sit by the Major let him get me a drink at said bar, and everything that followed. God damn I was going to be remembering this one for a while. I tried not to fuck where I ate, never sleeping with other military personal, but this guy seemed removed enough from me it wouldn’t be a problem. I doubted I’d ever see him again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> We’d been doing this for an hour, the bright red matchstick numerals on his alarm clock told me as much. My body felt tight. How he had this much stamina and strength astounded me, and I couldn’t control the force of the impending orgasm that he’d tirelessly worked to build. I understood now, why my mother always swore by older men, they sure knew what they were doing. He didn’t seem that much older, maybe a decade or so, but comparatively speaking to the “two thrust then bust” young men my age, it made all the difference.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The hand that was dug into my back lifted and slid round underneath me to stroke me. The hair at the roots of my scalp was tugged tender and I practically screamed out as he started to frantically circle my clit. I was going to cum. Now. I really did let out a scream that time and squirted all over his veiny cock. Fuck.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Before I could even recover I was slammed down onto the mattress, cock removed from my wet heat, and back on the warm sheets. Legs in the air, calves resting on his shoulders, he loomed above me, standing up beside the bed. Looking pretty smug as he stared down, I winked up at him. He wrapped his hands around each of my fleshy thighs with a firm grip, definitely leaving fingerprint shaped bruises. He pushed back inside me, thrusting at an intense pace. My bottom lip trembled as I whined. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I hadn’t had that many one night stands during my time on this earth. The scary, Air Force General father made sure of that. But this was shaping up to be the best of the lot, and I was a little disappointed knowing no other would ever quite measure up. I was also a little disappointed I was shipping out again in two days and couldn’t make a weekend out of this, not that I imagine he’d be down for it if that wasn’t the case. One night stand, cheeky weekend, what was the difference? </em>
</p><p>“You ever think about that night back in Ohio?” John panted as he thrust into me. It was like he’d been reading my mind. I smiled.</p><p>“Now I remember it,” I nodded. “I hadn’t really forgotten, I just didn’t realise you were my mystery Major.”</p><p>“Mystery Major?” he raised an eyebrow. I giggled. </p><p>“Best one night stand of my life,” I explained. I wasn’t just flattering him. I did wonder why he never looked for me, though I also understood. “Many a night on deployment did those memories come back to me, and many a night did they keep me warm.”</p><p>“Didn’t you room share? Naughty girl,” he laughed, playfully slapping my asscheek as I lay beneath him, legs wrapped tightly around his waist. “You thought about that night so often, how come you didn’t recognise me?”</p><p>“How come you didn’t?” I countered. I didn’t exactly spend a lot of time looking at his face.</p><p>“I was drunk!” he defended and I scoffed. </p><p>“So was <em> I </em>,” I replied. “And I was more remembering the feeling of you inside me, rather than the features of the person railing me,” I shrugged. “Plus if you remember, a significant amount of that night I couldn’t see your face. It was either pressed between my legs or behind me. And when you did finally face me, you dropped down unconscious on top of me.”</p><p>“Well earned unconsciousness, if I do say so myself,” he huffed and I chuckled. Oh yeah, he worked hard that night. He always did.</p><p>“I never said it wasn’t,” I replied with a roll of my eyes. “Anyway it doesn’t matter, you can rail me every day for the rest of our lives if you want, and I’ll know exactly who you are.”</p><p>“The rest of our lives, huh?” he raised an eyebrow. “I can’t even get you to tell people we’re together but you want me to fuck you like I married you.”</p><p>“I,” I started trying to argue but was cut off by my own cry. His harsh thrusting sent me stumbling over the edge and he stuffed my panties back in my open mouth. He held his hand over my lips and the lace that poked out, muffling me more.</p><p>“Uh uh,” he tutted, lifting his hand to waggle a finger at me. “If you’re intent on keeping this quiet, you better keep that pretty mouth of yours shut.”</p><p>“Fuck me,” I said, muffled. It wasn’t very clear what I’d said, but judging by his chuckle, he understood. I closed my eyes and drifted back to that night again. How the hard wood of the door felt pressed into my shoulders while he fumbled for his keys. Kicking my heavy boots off on the way in, and then being dropped down momentarily on the stairs, feeling the carpet underneath me as I pulled off my bra. His mouth all over my breasts while I desperately tried to get him out of his button down. Speaking of. My eyes snapped open and I zeroed in on his practically offensive shirt. </p><p>"You need something?" he asked, looking down amusedly at me as I moaned through the fabric of my panties and struggled with his shirt buttons. I fought one handed, with his shirt, trying to feel the hot skin underneath. I needed to touch him. All of him. I whined in response and he chuckled, pulling up a little, and unfastening all his shirt buttons, sliding the black fabric off his shoulders and down his arms. I moaned out as I watched him tug his t-shirt over his head, leaving the site of his bare chest behind. I could see all his muscles, his chest hair and the slight peppering of every scar he’d picked up on his life’s journey.</p><p>I had a knee either side of him, lifted up so far they were almost under his armpits. He gripped my bruised thighs and used them to aid his deep thrusts, all that could be heard in the room was heavy breathing, muffled moans and skin audibly slapping against each other. The sheets beneath me were soaked and so was the space between my legs. A bead of sweat dropped from his hair onto my forehead and he panted heavily. I was begging to itch all over from the salty sweat and sticky cum. We’d definitely need to shower and change the sheets after this, if either of us could still stand. I glanced over at the clock, we were missing dinner. It wouldn’t be long until the others wondered where we were, or John at least, Beckett had given me the perfect alibi, provided no one had decided to pay me a visit. </p><p>“John,” I moaned through the panties. He reached down to pull them out of my mouth. </p><p>“What do you need?” he asked. </p><p>“I need your cum,” I begged. It was time. “All over me, make me yours.”</p><p>“Fuck,” he swore, ducking down to lock lips. He kissed me with bruising force, bringing heat with him that almost burned through me. “You’re so good to me,” he whispered. He kissed all over my face as he thrust. “So good,” he said. “Such a good girl. My good girl.”</p><p>He kept rocking into me, I pushed my hips up into his, trying to match his rough pace. I wondered if I’d be able to walk tomorrow, and I blushed slightly at the thought of asking Beckett for another day off. No way was I radioing him to tell him I was unable to work due to getting absolutely railed by my boss. But the alternative was limping around the lab and suffering through odd looks and awkward questions from McKay and Zelenka. Worse still if I went to lunch around the same time as Teyla and Ronon. Kill me now. </p><p>“You gonna cum baby?” he asked and I nodded frantically. I was close. It would happen any second. I glanced over at my soaking wet panties. They were dripping with my spit and there was no way they were getting put back on, but they would definitely come in handy to quieten my moans. I slammed my mouth closed to try and hold in a whine. </p><p>“I got you baby, I got you,” he said and picked up the saliva coated lace. His fingers pulled at my bottom lip and tried to coax my mouth open. Hesitantly I opened it only to immediately moan out to him. Quietly at least. He chuckled and stuffed my panties back in. “There’s a good girl,” as he closed my mouth again, giving my jaw a gentle pat. </p><p>I felt my eyes roll back into my head and I desperately clenched my teeth down into my underwear gag as I came hard again, squirting all over the both of us. He let out a loud groan at the feeling, trying to ride out my orgasm before he spurted his all over me. We were already sticky, what was the harm in mixing fluids? Damn John, make me a sexy Jackson Pollock painting already. His fingers went for my puffy clit again and I screamed out at him through my panties. No. Too sensitive. He pulled his hand away again offering me a sympathetic look. </p><p>“Sorry,” he said and I whined, eyes clenched as I stared desperately up at him and tried to force them to stay open. “Almost there baby, you’re being so good for me.” </p><p>He snapped forward in one final thrust before hurriedly yanking himself back, cock springing free and slapping hard onto his belly. He held himself steady, running his hand up and down his slick member, hips still rocking. I looked down to catch the action shot and felt his sticky white cum hit my skin in bursts of rope. I moaned hungrily into my gag, watching as the cum tapered off he let out a content sigh. He stared down at me, admiring his work, puddles of cum dribbled down and across my belly. </p><p>“Such a good girl,” he cooed, reaching down to wipe my hair off my sweaty face. “My good girl, all mine.”</p><p>“All yours,” I whispered, eyes still crinkled. I was exhausted, he looked exhausted, but we were both sticky and in desperate need of a shower. </p><p>“I don’t wanna move,” he whispered and I nodded tiredly. </p><p>“Me either,” I agreed. </p><p>“We probably should,” he continued quietly. I nodded again. “We made a bit of a mess.”</p><p>“And people are gonna start looking for you,” I added. He groaned. “And people might have stopped by my room, now they know I’m off today, to check on me.”</p><p>“Damn our courteous, observant friends,” he said wryly and I nodded. He wasn’t wrong, even if he was joking. </p><p>“We could always kill them,” I said and he laughed, dropping his head into the crook of my neck. “It would solve our problems, no one to look for us, our secret kept.”</p><p>“No one to have a secret from,” he pointed out and I huffed. “You young things and your murder. It doesn’t solve every problem you know.”</p><p>“Maybe you’re just not using enough murder,” I said and he pushed himself up with a groan. </p><p>“Come on,” he said. “We can continue this discussion in the shower.”</p><p>“We should change the sheets first,” I told him and he raised a brow at me. “That way if we decide to skip dinner after the shower, we can go for a nap.”</p><p>“Wise,” he agreed and helped me up off the mattress. There was a dull ache building in between my legs. Yep, I deserved that one. And no way was I going to Beckett on this one. Tomorrow I’d just have to pick a place to fix myself for the entirety of my shift and not move for hell nor highwater.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Robotics Department</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tiles warmed up from the spray, I leaned against the shower wall and let out a content sigh. Reaching my hands between my legs, washing my thighs and all the cum off of everything, I thought about what I’d come here originally to avoid. Active duty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I did feel a little better after having talked to both John, and Beckett and Heightmeyer about my issues. I still didn’t know I felt about being benched, even if it was ultimately my decision to follow Heightmeyer’s suggestion or not. It would give me more time to work on my robotic arm, iron out some details on various inventions and there was the very ambitious power project I’d undertaken. Plus, Rodney had been bugging me to look over that data we’d gotten from the Wraith Dart. But being off of active duty, out of the thick of it, well to O’Neills that usually felt like a punishment. It would be hard taking my hands off the reins. But maybe that was why I had to do it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s going on up there,” John said knowingly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thinking about letting someone else save your ass on missions for a little while,” I replied and he snorted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know somehow I seemed to manage before you joined the Expedition,” he said and I smiled to myself. He brought soapy hands towards me and started rubbing over my chest, breasts soft and pliable in his hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I swear to god, if you get an erection while we’re in here, you can take care of it yourself,” I told him firmly. There was a near constant dull ache between my legs and my nether regions were puffy and inflamed from overuse. “If you fuck me again my soul will leave my body and I’ll get to meet all my past lives.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? A man can’t give his girlfriend a little TLC in the shower after a long afternoon?” he asked, feigning innocence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not when your TLC usually ends up becoming a ride on your favourite extremity,” I said, shaking my head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pushed off the wall and stepped under the showerhead, letting the unrelenting torrents of water wash away the beads of conditioner seeping through my hair. His fingers found their way into my hair, combing through the strands and scratching at my scalp lightly. He kissed along my shoulder and I sighed softly, moulding into his touch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you disagree, you can come with us on missions, I can override Heightmeyer’s decision,” he told me. “But I have a feeling that’s not what’s going to be best here. Or even what you want.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I agreed, eyes closed and enjoying the warmth enveloping me. I leaned forward and rested my head on John’s chest, letting him take the majority of my weight. His adept fingers made their way down to my neck and shoulders, switching to massaging the tight muscles rather than lightly scratching my sensitive scalp. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to be difficult for me to actually do it, but it’s for the best,” I told him. “You and Rodney being in the Doranda system was one of the most difficult situations I’ve ever been in. There was absolutely nothing I could do except listen to reports coming in over the radio, every mission you go on without me I’m going to be thinking about what could be happening. What I could be doing if I was there. But even if I was there, there could be absolutely nothing I could do. I have to accept there are some things I just can’t change. You were right when you said I tend to get caught up playing God.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I never said that,” he disagreed. His hands moved back away from me, where they’d been at the nape of my neck, to slide under my arms instead. He made gentle stroking motions over my back and shoulders, soothing me as I spoke my mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not in so many words, but I do, I do try to control everything,” I told him. “I’m afraid. I’m afraid of everything. But I owe you, I owe everyone a little trust.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not going anywhere,” he assured me, holding on just that little bit tighter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t know that for sure,” I argued. His thumbs started to dig into the knots between my shoulders and I felt the deep motions start to work away the stress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have no plans to let life carry me away from you,” he said, tilting his head down to press his lips to my forehead. His head blocked the direct stream of water from overhead and instead I felt fast drips of water from his hair bouncing off my skin. I pushed my head up into his, feeling intimacy from our foreheads pressed firmly into one another's. “I’ve messed up before, but you’re it for me. I’m invested. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to let anything keep you from me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I told him. “It’s a concept I’m going to need to get used to, but I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well good, so long as you know,” he said wryly. He lifted his head off mine and pulled back to finish washing himself. I opened my eyes and scrubbed over his back when he turned around, trying to return the favour one handed. He groaned in appreciation and I smiled to myself, happy I could be the one to give him something for a change. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you feel like dinner?” he asked, turning off the taps and cutting off our source of heat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shivered slightly, the cold air outside the shower hitting me immediately as he opened the door. The steam escaped and shot straight up into the extractor fan, leaving the mirror fog free but me without any body heat. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around me, making a comment about my immediately peaked nipples taking someone’s eye out if we didn’t do something about them. I smiled, shaking my head at his joking as I leant against the countertop, watching him brush his teeth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Our friends will probably wonder where you are if you don’t show, and we’ll only have to explain it later,” I replied. “Plus, we did kinda use up a lot of energy just then,” he chuckled. “But I am a little embarrassed about my hindered ability to walk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m pretty proud of your hindered ability to walk,” he replied and I slapped his arm lightly, letting go of the red plastic toothbrush I’d been using to brush my own teeth. He spat green foam into the sink before using the waiting cup to rinse out his mouth, gargling loudly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do miss the others when I spend all my time moaping,” I told him. “We should do dinner, if not to assure Rodney I’m not dying or contagious.” John choked on the water he was about to spit out, letting out a chuckle once he was out of danger. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, we really need to talk to him about visiting hours,” John agreed. “That was a close call and I’m not hiding in your bathroom again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t do it in the first place,” I argued. I waved my hand around in annoyance. “I’m sorry, okay, I just don’t know how to tell him. He’s so awkward already.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you do want to tell him, then?” he perked up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ve been slowly winning me over,” I replied with a shrug. “I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. Telling Beckett and Heightmeyer was terrifying. I just need a little bit more time. But yeah, I’m not opposed to the idea of our friends knowing. That was never the issue. I’m just scared of losing you. Of not being able to have you because some jerk in the IOA or back at SGC thinks it’s bad for the Expedition and one of us gets booted back home.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’d probably order us to break it off before they sent us back to Earth,” John said and I nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but that’s not going to happen,” I told him. “I’m it for you and you’re it for me... I’d have stayed, you know... If I didn’t know you were recently divorced, if I wasn’t worried about how things were gonna pan out, I’d have stayed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” he asked, surprised. “I made that much of an impression, did I?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That was the first time I’d ever experienced something like that,” I shrugged. “Sure I’d had one night stands before, and I’m not saying I’d never had an orgasm before, but that night was something else. It always is with you. Plus, you listen to me. Even when you’re drunk. Even when I was just a stranger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You give good advice,” he shrugged. “Even if you never practice what you preach.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do as I say, not as I do,” I smiled, rinsing my tooth brush and putting it in the cup beside his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I followed him back through to the living quarters and perched on the edge of the freshly made bed, grabbing a new set of panties to pull on before I dressed in the clothes I’d been wearing when I made my way over earlier. I watched him tug his uniform back on, thinking about how rough the smooth fabric of his trousers had felt against my abused thighs when he’d rutted into me not so long ago. I wondered how I’d gotten so lucky to have found him, to be with him. How stupid I realise I now was to push him away because I thought one night was enough. Clearly it wasn’t, because some force out there in the universe had pushed us back together after that night in Ohio. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t take this the wrong way..” I started, thinking back to all the times I’d heard Rodney complain about John and his romantic tendencies towards literally any woman he encountered out here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” he smiled wryly, stopping dressing and padding over in his socks and slacks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s just..” I said awkwardly. I was unsure how to phrase this without either sounding like an asshole or indirectly calling him a slut. “You know, Rodney always calls you Kirk..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you trying to ask me why this isn’t a wam bam thank you ma’am?” He asked and I nodded vigorously. He perched on the bed beside me, chest still covered in a few water droplets from the shower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said yourself, I’m it for you. I don’t need you to tell me why, not exactly..” I explained. “It’s just, I figured if you were and I was still it for you wouldn’t I be the one doing all the chasing? Trying desperately to pin you down and hang on..”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Listen,” he said, putting one of his large hands on my still sensitive thighs. “I’m not going to deny having slept with a number of women out here since joining the expedition. However, they were just opportunities life presented me with. No strings, one offs. I wasn’t going around playing the good soldier sent by Uncle Sam to liberate the people and manipulating every attractive woman I found into sleeping with me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” he assured me. “I think Rodney gets a little jealous because women aren’t exactly throwing themselves at his feet. It’s not easy for him, socially, because he spent all his character points buffing knowledge instead of charisma.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I nodded. “I just, I’m still wrapping my head around life just giving me this nice thing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s been known to happen occasionally,” he told me with a smile. “Now, are you going to get ready or am I going to have to sneak you back a sandwich and a fruit cup?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” I shook my head and went back to pulling the velcro across the front of my sneakers one handed. I’d taken to carrying around my prosthetic less and less and I realised I’d need to start using it if I was ever going to figure out how to make the animatronic one work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John and I walked the halls back towards the mess and I noticed how natural falling into step with him had become. We hadn’t been dating long, not really. A month before our Iratus Hiatus, and a month since we’d gotten back together, but I’d come to realise when we’d been talking about how we felt about each other, just how long I’d been feeling this way. How long I’d been avoiding it. He walked along my right side and I pouted a little to myself as I realised I couldn’t lock fingers with him. Although this was entirely my fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dad’s going to call soon,” I told him as we stepped into the transporter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah?” he replied, wondering the significance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna talk to him about how things are going for me out here but I uh..” I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “I don’t know if I should tell him everything, but it might be worth telling him I’m interested in someone out here. Seeing someone even.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh yeah?” he asked smugly. Feeling pretty proud he’d eventually won me over. Which was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>what was happening. I just didn’t want him to be blindsighted. Dad’s been through enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It won’t be for a few weeks but, that means when Weir puts the official paperwork in he’ll be less surprised. He’ll probably still be pissed…” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But less likely to order a nuke strike on the city,” John agreed. “Which I’m pretty happy about, considering I live here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And sorry I’ve been the one telling everyone,” I said with a sigh. I didn’t even want to go public at first, and yet I’d been the one to tell Beckett, I’d brought it up with Heightmeyer and I’d been about to tell Cadman before I stopped myself once on a run. So much for the military ability to keep secrets. “I know you wanted to do it, and I didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed as we came close to the mess, stepping into another alcove he’d just known the location of without even looking. “I told you I’d let you set the pace. I’m happy people know, I don’t care how they find out. Not really.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” I nodded. “You can be the one to tell Weir if you want, when we’re ready I mean.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I figured we’d tell her together,” he shrugged. “Now come on, I wanna eat something other than your pussy this evening.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes sir,” I smiled, saluting him facetiously and following him the rest of the way to the mess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We waited in comfortable silence to get our food from the kitchen staff and carried our trays over to the usual table. Teyla smiled at me as I put my food down, sitting beside McKay and across from her and John. John’s legs stretched out in front of him, sitting comfortably in my space as I had a leg either side of his. I crossed my ankles behind his foot and started poking at my food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wondered if we would be seeing you,” Teyla commented, and Ronon grunted in agreement. “Are you feeling better? Dr McKay said you were unwell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I got pretty tired after beating up Ronon yesterday,” I brushed off and Ronon chuckled, shifting in his plastic chair. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is that what you think happened?” he asked, picking up his mug and waiting for me to defend myself. I winked at him in response and spoke around a mouthful of food.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you know it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a brief lull in conversation where the only noises that could be heard were the diners surrounding us and the sounds of us consuming our food, some of us faster than others, I noticed, looking at Ronon and McKay. It was nice, until the latter decided to break it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can you explain to me why General O’Neill requested a video conference call two weeks from now with the Robotics Department?” Rodney blurted out, taking a break from stuffing his face to look at me with bewilderment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it unusual for General O’Neill to request video conferences with individual Atlantis departments?” Teyla asked and I smiled to myself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t actually have a Robotics Department,” Rodney explained to her and then turned back to me. “So what does he want? Is this odd behaviour, should I report this to someone?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s code,” I replied, shaking my head. I went back to idly poking my food while I waited for the next barrage of questions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For what?” he demanded, shaking his head in confusion. I chuckled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A guaranteed half hour of conversation with his daughter,” I shrugged. “We don’t really get much time to talk with both of us constantly doing black ops stuff and now both of us are going off world, myself not even in the same galaxy. My birthday’s coming up and he wanted to dedicate some of the time during the scheduled dial in to check up on me, without looking like he was pulling rank,” I explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even though that’s exactly what he’s doing,” John pointed out. I rolled my eyes. Yes, I knew everyone wasn’t as lucky and got private unclassified time with their families, but Dad was trying, I wouldn’t change that for the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t realise your birthday was coming up. I don’t know where I’m even going to get you something,” McKay said, seeming satisfied he no longer needed to report a Goa’uld possession of a highly ranked officer or somehow form a completely new department within the next two weeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not really a gifts person,” I said with a shrug. Dad had been a military man my whole life, the most precious gift he ever gave me was spending all his time at home with me. And Charlie of course, when he was here. I didn’t always appreciate it, but I do now. “I’m more of a ‘spend time with me’ person. I just wanna be with the people I care about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet I could get a hold of the projector,” John suggested, offering me a small smile. “What if you pick a movie and we’ll all watch it. Whatever you want. I’ll break out the popcorn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you know what would be funny?” I asked, smirking to myself. “Atlantis: The Lost Empire.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am confused, if the general population do not know about the Stargate Program, how have they made a movie about the Lantian homeworld?” Teyla asked and I grinned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The legend of Atlantis has been passed down amongst our people for thousands of years, I imagine someone heard an Ancient talking about it or something, and passed the story on. This is a cartoon interpreting the story. It’s actually very good. Got Michael J Fox in it as the lead,” I said kissing my fingers like a chef. “A+ choice for Milo’s voice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I shall look forward to seeing this movie then,” Teyla said, making me smile again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” I turned to McKay. “You ever notice Milo looks a bit like Dr Jackson.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh do not get me started on that clown,” McKay said and I burst out laughing. I now could not wait to watch this movie. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey General,” I looked up to see Sam leaning in the door to my office, smiling gently at me. I nodded my head at her, gesturing for her to come inside. She closed the door gently behind her, uh oh, I guess this wasn’t good. She took a seat across from me and I raised an eyebrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, let’s hear it,” I said, awaiting whatever she had to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let’s hear it?” she smiled. “I just had a question about this meeting on the dial in schedule.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about it?” I asked and she put the sheet of paper across from me, tapping at the last item on the agenda. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Atlantis doesn’t have a robotics team,” Sam commented and I smiled to myself. I figured she’d see through it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Evie’s birthday,” I answered simply. A warm smile crept up Sam’s face. Those two always got on like a house on fire, a very dangerous house on fire. “Plus I wanna check in on her now she’s a whole world away.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t seen her in a long time, how’s she doing?” Sam asked and I shrugged, leaning back in my wheelie chair, hands tucked behind my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Better I’m hoping,” I replied. “She was doing alright when I gave Colonel Sheppard her resume. Seemed fine when she stepped through the gate, but she’s been out there half a year now. I just gotta make sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m confused, they get the internet out there now, don’t you keep in contact?” Sam asked, crossing one of her legs over the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s only so much you can get from an email, Sam,” I told her, that much should be obvious. Maybe it was a dad thing. “I wanna see her, plus, she always sends me progress updates like they’re official military reports.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well you are the leader of Stargate Command,” Sam shrugged. “She’s doing her job, doesn’t that mean things are better?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m her dad first,” I replied. “She should be emailing me to complain about McKay or the food or boys or something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“General, I’m not sure if you’re aware of this but girls tend not to talk to their dads about boys, unless they want them beat up,” Sam told me and I smiled to myself, thinking about the one time I had heard about a boy from her. It was high school, the summer of ‘97. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still,” I shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it makes you feel any better, she does complain about McKay,” Sam told me, tucking some of her blonde hair behind her ears. I thought she hadn’t heard from her. “She emails Daniel from time to time. Mostly on cultural updates but also because she knows the two hate each other.” I let out a deep chuckle. That sounded more like my daughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I heard from Weir her power project is doing quite well. Apparently took a step back over the most recent storm though,” I told Sam and she nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Even with the ZPM there’s still a constant battle for more power. The Naquadah generators can only do so much. At the very least with her converting the city to produce sustainable energy on it’s own all the time, they’ll never be without power and can store it. It’s a pity it’s not quite enough to power the shields or it would be the perfect scheme,” Sam commented. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but she tends to leave all the big stuff up to Scientists like McKay,” I shrugged. “Leave all the dreaming to him, the practical now is her. He can spend all his time tirelessly working on magic solve alls but while he’s doing that someone needs to make something work in the meantime, and I feel a lot safer knowing she’s out there doing that. Even if it does mean she’s out there in an actual warzone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She was already out in an actual warzone,” Sam pointed out and I shot her a glare. Believe me, I did not need reminding. “But I suppose it’s pretty different shooting other humans from a fighter jet than getting her life sucked out by the Wraith. I’ve read some of the mission reports about out there, not something I wanna mess with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, and I think about her being out there messing with it all the time,” I told her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then why did you send her out there?” Sam shook her head. “If it bothers you so much, why did you fight so hard for her to get it? Surely you’d be able to keep an eye on her here when she was still working at SGC.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because she’s a fighter Sam, she needs to be out there,” I sighed, rubbing my face in my hands. “I don’t like it, I don’t want my only daughter going around risking herself when there’s plenty of other people around to do it. But that’s what she likes. That’s who she is, and at least with her out there instead of on one of the teams here, I don’t have to see it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I can understand that,” Sam nodded. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think anyone would put in a situation she couldn’t handle. If she’s doing something out there, it’s because she can do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I said. “God I know. It’s a good thing Sheppard is there. I asked him to look out for her, he promised he would. But I’ll be sure to check he’s doing a good job when I talk to Evie in two weeks.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. 1997 and the nonCharlie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next few weeks passed in a blur and I was getting close to developing a real routine, or as close as you could get to one out here. I’d get up with John, getting ready side by side and try to convince the two of us that a quickie while we did so was a bad idea, and I was rarely successful. Then we’d share one last kiss behind the closed door of whomever's bedroom we’d just spent the night and sneak out towards the mess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breakfast came and I was back in the lab, briefing with McKay for the day before it was a busy day of directing civil engineers and electricians around to install my various generators where they belonged, having learned my lesson regarding doing it myself. Lunch came and went, sometimes I’d get to share it with the rest of the team, more often than not they shipped out after breakfast and rarely did they return before dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I’d spend the afternoon sketching out designs for various inventions and run tests on things McKay had left orders about, and very rarely did I think about that robotic arm I was supposed to be working on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wouldn’t be till pretty late at night that I saw John again, if he didn’t get stuck where he was stationed overnight, which had happened once or twice. And when he did return home, there wasn’t always much time to chat, not when my lips always found themselves attached to his as a welcome home and forgot to separate afterwards. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t schedule any off world missions for myself for the next couple of days,” John told me, head in the crook of my neck and teeth dragging over the sensitive skin. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh?” I gasped, trying to keep my moans at bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat perched in his lap, a thigh either side of his as we bounced up and down, two of us facing the window overlooking the city and the night sky. His hands assaulted my breasts and teeth scraped over all the skin on my shoulders and neck. He was careful to use enough pressure to make me really feel it, but not so much as to leave a mark. We had to be so careful about that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he whispered, hand sliding down my body and slipping between the apex of my thighs. “So you’d better get ready for some real quality time for your birthday. It’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I cried out softly, holding everything I was feeling at bay, trying to cling on to the edge just that bit longer so we could dive off at the same time. “Shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know baby, I know,” he murmured in my ear, moving to suck on the skin behind it. “I’ve got you, good girl. So close.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” I breathed and bounced harder, willing him closer. His teeth nipped at my earlobe, scolding me for trying to hasten his arrival. Slow and steady, we’d agreed. But I was so close. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He removed his fingers from my clit, hand instead moving to trail over my thighs, leaving goosebumps over my cool skin. There was a sheen of sweat where our skin met, but the temperature in the room kept everything else chilled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My nipples peaked and pointed out at the dark sky, a clear night for once. I hoped John was right and no one could see us from here. But the adjacent towers were miles from here, so it was unlikely, unless someone was sitting with a telescope pointed at this exact spot. And if the Wraith were lurking nearby it was doubtful they were watching the two of us fuck rather than attacking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay good girl, it’s okay,” he cooed in my ear. “Let go,” he said, returning his fingers to my slick folds and I whined. “Quietly now,” he added and I bit down on my bottom lip. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt myself tumble over the threshold, throwing myself forward and screaming silently as I experienced everything we’d been working toward at full speed. John grabbed my throat and jaw, yanking me back up against him, continuing to rock his hips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at the view, baby,” he told me. “Don’t close those pretty brown eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck,” I hissed, trying to keep them open in the last bursts of my orgasm, string out at the night sky once again. I held myself upright, back pressed against his chest as he let out a deep groan, reaching his peak finally, not quite making it to finish at the same time as me. Not that he seemed to mind much. He dropped his head into the juncture between my neck and shoulder and let out a shaky breath. I blinked my eyes closed for a moment, taking in everything and letting out a content sigh. Holy shit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay?” he asked, lifting his head from my shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I agreed. “What about you, huh?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh you’ve got nothing to worry about where I’m concerned,” he chuckled. He lifted me by my thighs off of his lap and stood me up, holding me up until I had steady footing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now come on, let’s get ready for bed. Faster you fall asleep, faster you can wake up again,” he said, standing behind me and giving my ass a brief slap. I smiled softly to myself, what he said brought back a childhood memory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sleep is just a time machine to breakfast,” I chuckled to myself, remembering all the times I’d heard him say it. I was filled with a warm feeling, instead of heartbreak, like I normally was. God I missed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?” John asked, a bemused expression on his face, eyebrow raised as he waited for an explanation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charlie,” I shrugged. “Whenever Dad tucked him in, he used to say sleep was just a time machine to breakfast,” I explained, walking over to link my hand with his. “He was a weird little kid, but he was always laughing. Must have been doing something right. Even liked my granddad’s terrible jokes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>John POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a part of me that could never tire of waking up like this, no matter how much sleep I’d had, with slow breaths fanning over the skin of my neck, a heavy weight resting on my chest and legs intertwined with mine. Another part of me wished that I could wake up after a full night’s rest without having to sneak around the next morning. Wake up with the sun much higher in the sky, rather than when it had just begun to rise. Still, I wouldn’t change the way she clung to me in her sleep for anything in the world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The morning air held a chill, but I felt cozy warm with her laying naked on my chest, both of us tucked up under the blankets. It was her birthday today, better make this morning one to remember. I glanced at the alarm clock on the nightstand, perfect. Plenty of time. Slowly, I moved her, shifting us and rolling over so she was laying on her back on the twin mattress and I was kneeling between her legs. I leaned down to kiss her soft lips, receiving a gentle sleepy moan in response. She wasn’t awake yet, but she would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lowing myself further, I rested on my elbows between her thighs, kissing a soft trail down her torso, nipping lightly at the skin on her belly. There was a muted groan then as she shifted, starting to rouse. I sucked a wet, open mouthed kiss on her thigh. Her hand made its way into my hair, pulling lightly at the roots. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“John,” she hummed and I kissed her other thigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning,” I greeted with a grin. She looked back at me with sleep filled eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” she grumbled, still tired and looking adorable with her bedhead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Having breakfast,” I replied cheekily and she scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have at it then,” she replied flippantly, waving her hand in consent and dropping back down on her elbows. “Good morning to you too, casanova.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack POV</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright, transferring you over to the Robotics Lab now,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Atlantis Control replied and I waited by the computer screen. I was excited, to say the least, to be able to actually see her again since she beamed aboard the Daedalus. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, McKay, now will you please fuck off,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard and smiled to myself, watching her stare off screen and at someone behind her webcam. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Alright, alright, I’m going,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard him say and she shook her head with a scoff. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s technically your superior, Pumpkin,” I pointed out and she jumped a little, looking at the computer screen. Her eye contact was slightly off, since she was staring at my image on the screen, rather than directly at me or rather, the cam. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s civilian, and he’s way ruder,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she replied with a shrug and I chuckled. She certainly seemed better. Her attitude had come back in full swing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you doing, sweetheart?” I asked and she beamed at me. Yeah, definitely better. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We found a 3D printer that the ancients designed and I printed off a better prosthetic,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she told me, tugging off her jacket and waving a hollow bright pink limb at me. Thin lines of material spiderwebbed around her arm mimicking the shape of her other prosthetic but I imagined this was significantly lighter weight. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And I printed a wooden one for less advanced societies and John helped me carve a V shape in the thumb so I can tie my shoelaces at what’s almost a normal speed. I’ve been having trouble working on the mechanical arm I was sent here with but Weir suggested instead of trying to fix that one I start trying to make a robotic limb from scratch. Even if I can’t it might spark an idea on how to make the other work. I started a power project, did you see?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I did, Sam’s been talking to me about it,” I nodded, smiling at how chatty she was being. She was like a child again, talking to me about her day at school. It warmed my heart to see it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about you, pumpkin? I called about you. Are you happy?” I asked her. She smiled, looking down at her lap, almost bashful. “Oh I know that look, what is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I started seeing someone,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she said, blushing visibly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not McKay is it?” I soured immediately. It would explain why he was hanging around earlier when she’d kicked him out. </span>
</p><p><b><em>“No!”</em></b> <span>she exclaimed, horrified. I relaxed then, grateful I wouldn’t be seeing more of him than strictly necessary.</span><em><span> “No,”</span></em><span> she confirmed, shaking her head. </span></p><p>
  <span>“Is it an alien?” I asked and she scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Who were you expecting me to get with, a Wraith?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she bit and I smiled. Now that would make an interesting Thanksgiving. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“No, I’ve been keeping it need to know, no one else knows but if things go well then I’ll have to let Weir know and I wanted you to hear it from me first.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well thanks sweetheart, I appreciate the heads up,” I told her. Wait. If she had to file a report with Weir then that meant it was someone in a position of command. Was it Lorne? Well that wouldn’t be so bad. He seemed nice enough, he was a Major, too. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I actually uh.. I had something else I wanted to talk to you about. It’s not exactly happy news..”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it?” I asked. And then I felt a cold dread fill me. Was she in trouble again? “Evie,” I said with a groan, putting my head in my hands. She couldn’t make it a year? Six months in and she was already needing me to pull more stings. “What did you do this time?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why does it always have to be something I did?”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She crossed her arms over her chest, frowning at the camera and I lifted my head up to stare back at her, raising an eyebrow. Why did it have to be something she did? She was a god damn O’Neill for starters. Not to mention it was almost always something she’d done since birth. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“For your information, I took myself off active duty,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she replied bitterly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait, why?” I recoiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I uh… I had a flashback, went to see Heightmeyer and she made the suggestion. After the incident on Olesia I went to see her, I’m sure you probably read the reports. And after what happened with the Wraith girl and more recently, I just. I can’t not take personal responsibility,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she explained softly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I can’t control everything, and that bothers me. So until I learn that sometimes shit happens, I have to take a step back. Even if that means no more flying for a while.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” I replied dumbly. “I’m sorry things aren’t working out for you at the moment. But you’re doing something about it, that’s good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah, Beckett said something similar,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she replied. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you.. Do you still think about him? I know it wasn’t my fault. I know there was no way I could have known...but I still keep thinking about that day. How if I’d made a different call that they could have been different.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I nodded, throat tightening. “Yeah sometimes I think the same. If I’d have just gotten the damn safe. If I’d have actually put the damn thing away. But those were my mistakes, not yours Evie. Evelyn, you were a child, he was not your responsibility. Your mother and I were both home. You were a kid who wanted to hang out with her friends, you left with our permission. Can’t you just listen to your own advice and realise you can’t control other people’s actions? That sometimes shit just happens?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she shook her head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t think I’d be able to call myself an O’Neill if I did.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I laughed. “No, but you’d probably be a lot happier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m pretty happy right now,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she told me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s hard, not being on the front lines, and I would like to get back there eventually. But the past few weeks have been some of the best I’ve had since… well anyway. I’m happy. I really am.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“This all down to your new guy then?” I asked her and she nodded excitedly. “Perhaps then I owe him some thanks. It's nice to see you this happy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s crazy to me that I haven’t gotten sick of him yet, we just seem to fit. It’s been months and he gets that I need to do things on my own. That I don’t want some guy to just swoop in and fix everything for me,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she told me. She always did like her independence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You always were your own hero,” I nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re still mine,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she told me, and I felt myself swelling with pride. Most kids think their Dad’s their hero at some point growing up. But they usually grow out of it. I was grateful she hadn’t. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I hope I’m making you proud. Because I always wanted to be just like you. It’s why I’m out here. Why I started flying.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I’m proud of you,” I shook my head. Damn kids. “You’re 25 today, you have a PHD in something you love and you’re a qualified pilot. What’s not to be proud of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she shook her head. I glanced up at the clock and frowned. There was never enough time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Its time,” I told her and she frowned, looking down and nodding in agreement. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> she told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” I replied. “And Evelyn?” she glanced back up at me. “Happy birthday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Eight Years Ago…</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Listening with heavy concern, I watched as Sam explained about the dangers the crystal entity could cause. That thing was walking around with my face and about to be extremely volatile. How had this happened? Guess that’s a lesson learned about touching weird crystals you find on alien planets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, something else.</span>
  <span> I've been thinking about where it went,” Sam said and then she paused, looking at me as I sat in my wheelie chair around the conference table. “Sir, it was in your locker looking through your personal stuff... pictures of your family …”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My heart began to race, I shot up without thinking and raced over to the phone on the wall, dialing a number I knew by heart. My pulse hammered in my ears so deafening I could barely hear the sound of the dial tone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come on, come on, Sara pick up,” I cried out desperately. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hello?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evie! Where’s your mom?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dad? Is everything alright? What happened?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can’t explain now, Pumpkin, get your mom,” I told her and she made a noise of confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You mean she’s not with you?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would she be with me?” I asked, still not understanding. I glanced back at the others who looked as concerned as I did, Daniel wore a thoughtful expression, waiting patiently for me to see how this panned out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“She drove you to the hospital right after you collapsed. She called me about a half hour ago saying you’d been admitted to the ER and she’d call back when she had news. Dad, is everything alright? Are you okay?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Pumpkin, listen, I need you to give me the exact details of the hospital she went to, it’s important,” I told her. She made further noises of confusion, rattling off the address before asking how I couldn’t know, if I was there. “Let me worry about that, just stay home. And do not come near me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You must be joking,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she scoffed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Something weird’s going on. I’m meeting mom at the hospital. You need help.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, you listen to me. Do not go to the hospital,” I ordered her and she told me to save my breath. How had this kid grown so defiant in the couple of months I’d been away? Divorce really changes a kid. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m hanging up, mom took her keys with her but grandad taught me to start the car with the screwdriver, I won’t be long,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she told me and I cried out in frustration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Evelyn O’Neill don’t you dare hotwire your mother’s car!” I scolded before the line went dead. I hung up the phone and looked back at the others who all wore various looks of amusement. “So, I know where they’re going…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll get local police to set up a perimeter, you four gear up, you’re going to that hospital,” General Hammond ordered and we accepted, heading down to the armoury to do just that. I jogged everywhere, barely listening to Sam as she explained more about these stupid crystal things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The lab's running tests but I'm pretty sure it's breaking down because Earth's electromagnetic field is stronger than the one on P3X-562. The difference is tearing it apart,” she said, following me up the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we stop it?” Daniel asked, concerned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don't know,” Sam responded just as we prepared to take the elevator to the surface. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We’ve spoken to local police, confirmed no one is at your wife’s house and that a J. O’Neill was admitted to the same hospital your daughter indicated less than an hour ago. Perimeter has been set up and the hospital is being evacuated as we speak,” Hammond said on his approach. He took one look at Teal’c who was holding tightly to his staff and shook his head. “Teal’c you’ll have to leave that here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have seen your world... I will need it,” he said without an ounce of insincerity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can't let you take your weapon, Teal'c,” he said, taking the staff from him and handing it to the Marine who’d been walking beside him, before addressing all of us. “You, all of you will be operating in public so you can't do or say anything that reveals the existence of the SGC or the Stargate,” he told us and handed Teal’c a Chicago baseball cap. The latter turned the cap over in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chicago, the windy city, home of the Black Hawks, the Bulls and the White Sox,” he recounted, just as the elevator doors opened up. I hurried inside, followed by the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don't forget the Cubs,” I added, pressing the button to the surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heads up Colonel,” Hammond said. “Good luck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The doors closed and we rode to the surface, taking a chopper as fast as we could to the hospital. I wring my hands, not only worrying about that imposter Sara was with but now that my daughter was on her way, if not already there. She was headstrong too, which in any other circumstance I’d be proud. I’d be having words with Sara’s father later, about teaching her how to steal a car. She wasn’t even 17 yet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some perimeter,” Daniel committed as we stepped up to the police line, gesturing to the news van that was already there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right, people! I need buses up here! I want these people out of here now! Come on! Move! Move!” a member of the local police ordered the people around him. “As soon as Colonel O'Neill's team gives the signal, I want you to start shutting the power down inside. All right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All right,” I heard the doctor he was speaking to accept. I still saw no sign of Evelyn, which was either really good, or really bad. We jogged inside, taking the elevator up to the room my copy had been admitted to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, keep moving people, everybody out! I need everybody out of here now! Let's go!” I ordered as we made our way up. I looked up ahead to see Sara, looking startled beside a nurse and Evelyn. God damn it. Could she not have at least obeyed the speed limit. Sara looked between me and Evelyn, who had no doubt filled her mother in on what was going on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jack?” Sara asked in disbelief. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Told you,” Evelyn said indignantly, crossing her arms over her chest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sara... are you alright?” I asked, tugging her in for a right hug. I let her go quickly, yanking my sulking teenager in for a hug too. “There’s my sweet girl,” I murmured, breathing a sigh of relief I had her in my arms. “You alright?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Sara confirmed, glancing down at her bandaged palms for a moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OK,” I nodded. “I wanna hear all about it, but not now, are you OK?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she agreed, still in shock. Evelyn, I noticed, looked like this was just another Tuesday. I turned back to the nurse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What room?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Room three,” she told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“OK,” I nodded, taking off in a run towards where this incredibly volatile clone was hiding. Teal’c was at my heels following my every step. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colonel!” Daniel called, and I paused, turning back to him as he threw me a hazard hood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Typical,” Evelyn scoffed. “You wait months for your dad to come home and two show up at once.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard Daniel chuckle just as he and Sam took her and my ex-wife under their arms and escorted them back down the hallway, and no doubt out of the hospital. It wasn’t long before they returned, in full hazmat gear and scanning the room for radiation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Colonel, it's buried in the red,” Sam said, before taking out her radio. “How we doing' with the power?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I turned off as much of the grid as possible,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> a voice responded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They've shut down all they can,” she told us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked over to the clone, slowly so as not to scare it. I tried to keep an open mind but this thing had put my little girl at risk. But I also know if this thing really did mean no harm and my daughter found out I’d been unrelenting, I wouldn’t have to die of radiation poisoning, she’d kill me herself.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The copy sat up, gasping for breath as I squatted by him. He looked awful. I took my pistol out of it’s holster,raising my hands up and putting it on the ground. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright. I’m not gonna hurt ya,” I soothed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please..” it gasped. “Stay back I do not want to harm you...again… My energy is about to-” he tried to say before I felt myself being sent flying backwards and a sharp pain hitting my back. I hit the ground again and groaned. What was it with this thing? I looked around to see the others getting up, having apparently been knocked down too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The radiation’s dropped off,” Sam said, checking her scanner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O’Neill, are you alright?” Teal’c asked and I nodded in confirmation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” I told him. The lights flickered on and I looked around. Why?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s happening?” Sam demanded into her radio. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ve got 20% Emergency Power,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>they radioed back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Radiation's low enough ... we should be all right,” Sam decided and we all pulled the stuffy hazard hoods off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You have come to destroy me,” the copy said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. No. That's not true. I know you weren't trying to kill me back on the planet... The Goa'ulds... the people who destroyed your race... they're our enemies too,” I tried to explain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I...understand...thank you,” he said slowly, between gasps. I squatted in front of him as he propped himself up against the wall. I needed to understand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why did you come here?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When my energy hurt you... I tried to heal you... but I did not understand your injury. So I looked into your mind. I saw the mind... of a warrior. I feared it, as I feared those who destroyed my race. I tried to make you well before my mistake was discovered, before the others returned to destroy me. I understand now. Your deepest pain was not the physical injury I had caused. Your pain was from an empty place in your heart where Charlie once was. Your daughter, she bears the same pain. I thought if I could bring Charlie to you, it would make you well. I did not understand his death meant he could no longer exist as flesh and blood. Physical death does not have the same meaning to us,” he explained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you dying now?” I asked, trying to ignore his mentions of Evelyn. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes... I could not bring Charlie to you,” he said and I looked at him sadly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charlie's gone,” I told him. The sooner we all accepted this, the better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No... He's... in here,” he told me, reaching for my chest and poking at my heart. Shifting before my eyes, I watched as my copy morphed into something else. Someone else. The hand poking me was much smaller. The hand of a child. Before me was my long gone son. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Charlie?” I asked in disbelief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You cannot change what happened that day, just as I cannot change the day that the Goa'uld destroyed my world. I'm showing you what of Charlie is still there... inside you,” it explained. He looked so much like him. It was hard to separate the two. This was not my son. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jack... Jack…” Daniel tried for my attention. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The radiation's still low, but I don't know for how long,” Sam told me gently. I knew what we had to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have to go,” I told my not son.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is Sara O'Neill still here? And Evelyn?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” I confirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took my hand as I stood, and I escorted him light that back to the entrance of the hospital where Sara was waiting with our daughter. Evelyn stood leaning against the door frame of the entrance, arms crossed over her chest. The others were behind me until I walked up to Sara who was in shock. Daniel offered a hand out to Evelyn, bringing her over with the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What the hell did you dumbasses do this time?” I heard Evelyn grumble, causing Sam to chuckle lightly. She’d met Danile before, but not Sam not Teal’c, but saw no problem in berating them as well as Daniel and I. She didn’t really know much of the stargate program, but I had no doubts she knew something was off. She always was perceptive for a kid. That and it was pretty hard to hide the walking talking clone of her little brother currently holding my hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Delta Five Point Bravo our ETA is five minutes,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> I heard over the radio.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Chopper's inbound,” Sam told me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You guys go ahead,” I told them and nodded to Daniel to take Evelyn out too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sara,” I started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh my God…” she uttered in complete shock. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's not Charlie... Sara…” I tried to explain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shh…” she shushed me, then took Charlie’s hand in hers for a moment, trying to hold in her tears. So many questions were on her face, so many I couldn’t answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sara... I have to get him back,” I told her and she nodded slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“To the Stargate,” she said and I agreed, tugging her in for a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I told her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whatever that is,” she murmured. “The other guy... you know what he said?” She asked and I glanced at the copy of my son. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have a pretty fair idea,” I said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were pretty great together, weren't we?” she asked and I let out a heaving breath. Yeah, we were.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We were the greatest,” I whispered, kissing her forehead. I had to pull away, I had to take nonCharlie back. And I imagine Evelyn would be fighting Daniel outside to try and say her own goodbyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Evelyn POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam and Daniel were arguing about something closer to the chopper while I stood next to the big guy. Teal I think his name was. I turned back to look at him. He was standing behind me like he was a bodyguard protecting the president. I raised an eyebrow at him and he stared back expressionless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was your name again?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do not believe I gave it to you,” he said simply and I huffed. I hated blackops guys. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Teal’c,” he said, emphasising the c at the end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How come you’re standing there like you’re guarding me for something?” I asked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are O’Neill’s child,” he said simply. Short answers. Definitely blackops. The hell was Dad involved in now? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I went back to trying to listen in to Sam and Daniel’s argument, the wind generated from the chopper blades making it hard. I huffed to myself. Why the hell were there two versions of my dad, and why did one of them electrocute my mom? And why is there now a living version of my previously dead little brother? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a particularly strong gust of wind and out of the corner of my eye I saw a black blur fly past my face. With fast reflexes, I grabbed hold of it with my left hand. Looking at it for a moment, I saw it was this guy’s Chicago hat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here,” I said, turning around to give it back. My jaw dropped a little when I saw the symbol carved into his forehead. “So, you’re definitely not from around here, Teal’c.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” he confirmed. He accepted the hat and put it back on his head, going back to his stoic silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s not my little brother, is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, O’Neill’s child,” he replied. “That is not the one called Charlie.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m Evelyn,” I introduced. “O’Neill’s child is going to get real old, real fast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teal’c turned slightly and I followed his gaze, Dad was coming out of the hospital, hand in hand with what was not my little brother. I suppose it would have been hard to explain him coming back, but I wish him. Then I could make up for not being there. Every day, for the rest of my life. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your mother says you can drive back to the house when you’re ready,” he told me, and handed me the set of keys to the car so I wasn’t driving with a flathead. “We don’t have a lot of time,” he said, pausing and looking back at Charlie’s lookalike. “Do you need to say something?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I nodded, a lump building in my throat. I dropped down to my knees in front of whatever this was. He reached out for my hands and I squeezed his back tightly. “Hey spaceman.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hello Evelyn O’Neill,” he greeted back in his voice. His speech was off, he didn’t speak like Charlie did, even if he sounded exactly like him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I owe you an apology,” I told him, tilting my head to kiss his hands. I let them go to rub up and down his shoulders. The sound of the helicopter practically silent next to the sound of my pulse hammering in my ears. “I’m so sorry I wasn't with you. Charlie, I shouldn’t have cancelled our plans. Could have taken you with me, brought my friends over. I’m so, so sorry that you got hurt because of my actions.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your actions were not at fault, Evelyn O’Neill,” he told me and I felt the tears I’d been crying drip off my chin and hit my knees. “You did not know by making the choices you did that Charlie would be harmed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No,” I agreed. “But it doesn’t make it hurt any less.”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Present Day…</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Jack POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I thought back to that day we’d said our goodbyes to Charlie, how she’d admitted she felt guilty even then. I thought she was over it, but then again, I suppose I wasn’t really over it either. I’d made my piece, but he was my son. He always would be.  It was a testament to how brave and strong Evelyn was. Admitting she was struggling right now must be hard, especially since there was still the threat of being discharged hanging over her head. But I was proud of her. Perhaps I needed to email more often. </span>
  <span>I hoped Lorne was making her happy.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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